Tomorrow
by MBella
Summary: Edward is country music's hottest star...Bella is just a small town girl...somehow their world's collide, and nothing is ever the same again.  Rated M for language and lemons.
1. Tomorrow

_**Hello and welcome! I am so excited to be back. I look forward to hearing from you all again, I've missed you! So my newest project is called Tomorrow. It should take you on a wonderful journey filled with love, angst, and longing. Also lots and lots of great Country Music stars! If you don't like country music...well, you should! LOL**_

_**Enjoy!**_

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. All the other country goodness is mine.**

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><p><strong><em>Tomorrow…I'm gonna leave here…<em>**

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><p>Edward had been eyeing bright green box for two weeks now, ever since his mom, Esme, put it under the tree.<p>

"It's from your grandfather, Edward. He says you can't open it until Christmas Eve."

So Edward had to wait…and wait…and wait. The West Virginia winter days passed slowly, school was out for break so there was no one to play with.

Surrounded by the hills and valleys all covered with a white blanket of snow, Edward liked to sit by the window and watch the snow fall. Tiny flakes would cling to the sill until they melted, creating little rivers that raced down the glass.

His grandpa always sent him the best gifts. Last year he got a remote control airplane, the year before, a new bike. He couldn't wait to open this one.

The gift was oddly shaped…a long box, almost four feet tall, but not rectangular in shape, a portion of it was larger than the rest, so Edward spent his days studying it…trying to guess what could possibly be inside.

On Christmas Eve his parents made him attend mass with them. He had to wear a pullover sweater in red and green, which he hated. He was more comfortable in his Wrangler jeans and tee shirts, but his mom was insistent, and when he complained she narrowed her eyes, giving him this look that meant he wouldn't win this one.

So he sat between his parents in church, trying to hide, hoping he wouldn't run into any of his classmates. All he needed was to be teased when school started up again.

Nothing like being 8 years old and called a baby because your mother still dressed you…

"Try to sit still Edward…pay attention." Esme placed her hand over her son's leg, trying to get him to stop squirming. She knew he was anxious to get home and open his gifts; she couldn't wait to see her son's smiling, happy face knowing he would tear through the paper in a whirlwind of excitement. But for right now, he needed to calm down, and listen…the preacher was telling the story of Christ and she knew Edward loved this story.

Eventually her son settled down enough to listen, and soon he was captivated by the preacher's lively voice that soared over the congregation in a jovial, animated tone.

Still, Edward's patience only lasted that one hour. Back at the house he zipped through the rooms at lightning speed, yanking his sweater over his head and tossing it over the wooden rocking chair in the living room. His Dad built a fire in the fireplace so the chilly Southern winter winds couldn't break through the red brick walls. The large eight foot Douglas fir tree stood proudly near the huge picture windows, all lit up in an array of twinkling, colorful lights, blinking in tune to the carols playing over the radio. Johnny Cash's _The Christmas Guest_ played loudly enough to drown out his mother's blender as she prepared the last dish of the large holiday feast she been working on since the crack of dawn. Edward found his feet tapping to the tune as he glanced over at the Christmas tree once more, his mother loved playing these catchy tunes by her favorite artists, over and over again, and the easy rhythms grew on Edward over time.

His grandparent's wouldn't arrive until tomorrow, but he knew he would be able to open his gifts tonight.

"Can I open one right now…just one Mom…_please_…" he danced around his mother in earnest, almost making her trip… "I promise I'll only open_ one_…"

"Not yet Edward…let me finish the cranberry sauce…go help your father, he's in the bedroom probably looking for the wrapping paper to wrap my gift that I know he just bought _yesterday_…" her voice was teasing, loud enough so that she heard her husband shout out from the bedroom,

"I heard that Esme! And I didn't just buy it _yesterday_!" I bought it the day before yesterday, Carlisle thought with a chuckle, but he would never admit it.

He chuckled again when he saw his son's forlorn face appear at the bedside. Oh the joys of being 8 and having to wait to open your presents. "Come on over here son, hand me that tape, will you?" He waved his son over with his free hand.

Edward shuffled over with a sigh; he picked up the tape dispenser with one hand and tore off a piece to hand to his father.

"How much longer do we have to wait dad?" he asked, as his father reached out and plucked the tape from his fingers.

"Not too much longer son, in fact, I think we'll open the gifts a little early tonight…"

"Really?" Suddenly the light appeared back in Edward's eyes, "Can we Dad? Really?"

"Sure thing son," Carlisle chuckled again at the bounce he saw in his son's step, "As a matter of fact, in about twenty minutes, you'll know why…"

He didn't even get to finish his sentence…Edward had raced out of the room, the tape forgotten. The presents were going to be opened early tonight and he was nearly bursting out of his skin.

Exactly thirteen minutes later the knock at the door made Edward jump up from his seat faster than you can say "white lightening," and speed towards entryway. He flung open the door with a look in his eyes that resembled a starving man heading for the buffet table.

He wasn't sure who he was expecting to see there…Santa maybe?

"Grandpa! Grandma!" his voice echoed throughout the room and sent both his parents scuttling from various corners out into the foyer.

"Edward!" his Grandmother held him in a tight embrace and Edward breathed in her perfume, his Grandma always smelled so good.

Tilting his head slightly, Grandpa took off his brown Stetson hat, and handed it over to his daughter. Esme hung it on the wooden tree coat rack next to the door. Grandpa looked just as eager as Edward, and his eyes twinkled as he shook Edward's hand.

Still holding Grandpa's hand, Edward dragged his family out into the sitting room where they all made themselves comfortable on the large leather sofas, still chatting with one another. Esme brought out white porcelain mugs filled with steaming hot chocolate.

Finally the big moment arrived, and with all his favorite people surrounding him, Edward tore through gift after gift, his eyes still fixed on the odd shaped box from his Grandfather. He couldn't wait to get his hands on that one.

His mother made him stop and smile for the camera after every gift, which was slowing him down, making him antsy.

"Ok son, go ahead…that box can't wait any longer…" His grandfather didn't have to tell him twice, Edward was already tearing the paper away, his eyes full of anticipation.

Everyone let out a large gasp, except Edward, he was puzzled…he turned the case over and over…perhaps Grandpa had given him the wrong gift?

"Oh my goodness!" Esme exclaimed, "That's really too much Dad!" she clasped both hands tightly together, her eyes nearly watering.

"Nonsense!" Grandpa exclaimed proudly, a large grin on his face, "It was always meant to be passed down…and now it's time…"

Edward didn't know what to say…he held the gift stiffly in his hands…how on earth was he going to tell his Grandpa that he _didn't_ know how to play the guitar?

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><p>Bella enjoyed her walk to school. Spring was just arriving and she loved breathing in the fresh air and watching the flowers begin to bloom all around her. Her mom made her pancakes this morning and they talked about her upcoming math quiz. Bella knew she would ace it, she spent all weekend studying for it, so she was not the least bit worried about it as she walked pass the small corner store at the end of the block. She waved hello to Mr. Cutler, the nice old man who owned the store. He paused in the middle of sweeping his steps to wave back at her before continuing on with his work. Bella told herself to remember to bring him some ice cold lemonade later on after school. Mr. Cutler was always so sweet and friendly to her, and ever since Mrs. Cutler died last year, Bella tried to come around more often, so Mr. Cutler wouldn't be so lonely.<p>

Rounding the block and reaching the school grounds Bella found herself in step with Jessica Stanely, her best friend. They had been best friends since they were five and shared everything with one another. Maybe Jessica would go with her after school to visit Mr. Cutler too; she liked him just as much as Bella did…

"He's staring at you Bella." Jessica's voice was a low whisper as she stood by her best friend near the lockers. Their next class was going to start in two minutes but Jessica just had to let Bella know. Bella eyes lit up at her friend's words, and she giggled softly, starting to turn her head around to see for herself.

"No, don't look!" Jessica half nudged her shoulder against Bella in warning, "He'll see you looking. Just go on inside the classroom…he's coming this way!"

Bella quickly made a beeline for the door, heading directly to her desk, not even pausing to greet her favorite teacher, Mr. Molina. Her skin felt all tingly as she walked, she knew he was following her in and walking right behind her…she could almost feel him, and just his mere presence was making her shiver.

Jake Black sat behind her in Biology. She'd known him ever since Kindergarten, in fact, she knew almost everyone since Kindergarten. Forks was not exactly a big town, everyone knew everyone here, there was no such thing as a secret in Forks.

Bella had the biggest crush on Jake Black since forever, and she was pretty sure he liked her too because his face broke out into a smile when he passed her desk, and when he sat down he _accidently_ scooted his desk forward so that it purposely rested against the back of Bella's chair.

She sat as still and as straight as she could throughout Mr. Molina's lecture. She wanted so badly to turn around and smile at Jake, make small talk. They'd been friends for years now, but it was just up until a few months ago when she took a second look at him. She couldn't put her finger on it, when her feelings changed…she just _knew_…one day Jake was her buddy, the guy she would joke around with and exchange homework answers in Biology, the next day he was the object of her affection, the guy who made her heart start pounding whenever he walked into a room. It was maddening really, but thus was the life of a teenage girl…and for the time being, it wasn't so bad…

"Did you do all your homework problems last night?" She could feel Jake's breath on the back of her neck; it almost made her jump out of her seat. She hoped he couldn't see her suck in her breath, and she tried to calm herself before turning her head slightly so that she could answer him.

"I did all of them except for the last two…" she kept her voice to a whisper, mostly so that it wouldn't shake, "I couldn't figure those ones out."

"Then we're in the same boat." She could hear Jake's soft chuckle, she loved hearing the sound of his laugh, it was so rich and full of life, "I stayed up until midnight looking for the answers, but no dice."

She smiled wider, nodding her head, answering him without looking in his eyes. "Yeah, sometimes I think Mr. Molina makes these things up."

Jake chuckled again, only this time he was leaning forward so the back of his arms were touching her. "Do you see tonight's assignment he wrote on the board? It's gonna be a killer."

By now Bella was thoroughly flustered, completely missing what Jake was trying to say. She nodded quickly, staring down at her knees. She wished he would just ask her out…maybe she could be the one to ask him out. She wondered what he would say to that. What everyone in school would think of her if they all found out she was asking boys out…

"So what do you say?" Jake's voice interrupted her thoughts. She didn't know what he was talking about, and in her doubt she turned her head all the way around so that she could face him. "What?" she asked, tilting her head slightly and brushing her hair off her face, "Say about what?"

Now it was Jake's turn to look embarrassed. His cheeks turned a bright pink at her words, but because everyone around was looking at them, he knew he had to repeat his question.

"Do you want to come over after school and work on tonight's homework assignment together?" He said this really fast and hurried, making some of his words run together in his haste to get this over with.

Bella looked dumbstruck at first…her mouth halfway opened, her figure frozen in disbelief. Finally she blinked, "Homework?"

_Dumb dumb dumb_…she thought, but that's all that would come out of her mouth.

"Yeah," Jake was smiling at her again, "Homework."

"Oh…uh…ok…sure." She was completely glad those words made it out of her mouth because for the rest of the period she could not form a single sentence or sustain a rational thought…the only thing she could think of was that she was going over to Jake's place after school…it would be just him…and her…alone…together…

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><p>Edward didn't want this…he really really really didn't want it, and he had no clue why Grandpa would even give him this. It didn't even look new, and it totally wasn't him…nothing like him at all.<p>

But he didn't know how to give it back, and he was afraid to hurt Grandpa's feelings, so he tried his very best to put on a happy face and look excited.

"Wow! Thanks Grandpa…and Grandma!" He hoped the disappointment couldn't be heard in his voice.

"Come here son," His Grandpa waved him over with one hand, "Bring that guitar over here and come sit by me."

Slowly Edward picked up the guitar by its neck and made his way through over to Grandpa, kicking through all the colorful wrapping that surrounded his feet. He sunk down into the sofa cushions with a small plop, still trying to fight the frown that wanted to take over his face.

"Lookie here son," his Grandpa's southern accent gently washed over him, and grandpa took the guitar from Edward's hands, "This baby once belonged to my own Grandfather…and then my father…and then me…" his wrinkled hands rested on the oiled wood of the neck, stroking softly back and forth as he spoke, "I know you haven't learned to play the guitar yet…but it's my job to teach you, just as my grandfather taught me…but I guarantee you son, once you know how to play…you will never be alone…you will always have a friend…"

Edward stared up into his Grandpa's eyes; he tried really hard to understand what Grandpa was trying to say…

"This thing here…" Grandpa placed the guitar carefully in his lap and began strumming it lightly, his eyes soften as he played, and almost magically it was as if he were 20 years younger, "It's going to open all kinds of doors for you…I promise."

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><p>"I always get these two mixed up. I can never remember which is which…" Jake half laughed, his textbook open in front of him, his papers carelessly scattered around the table.<p>

Bella laughed with him, still floating on cloud nine that she had Jake all to herself. She was trying to act like a grown up and not a giggly, silly, teenage girl, but she wasn't sure she was doing a good job at it. She almost half wished Jake would stop talking and just kiss her…but he didn't, he kept right on talking…

"I got mitosis for question number 4. What did you get?" Jake was sitting awfully close, so close that Bella could smell his cologne. She really liked it.

"Um…I got…I got mitosis too." She briefly checked her paper for the answer before smiling up at him. He wasn't even looking at his paper; his chin was propped up in one hand and he was staring at her as she spoke. This made her incredibly nervous…being this close…him staring at her…she could see his deep brown eyes so clearly now.

Jake knew he was rambling…he kept fumbling along with his words like an idiot, saying whatever thing popped into his mind. What he really wanted to do was pull Bella closer to him and kiss her. He honestly didn't know how to do that. Bella had been his friend since they were small, he already really knew her. She was just like any other girl in his class for the longest time, he remembered when he pushed her on the swings in first grade…traded his peanut butter sandwich for her turkey one, in second grade…saw her cry in fifth grade when the class bully pulled her hair…

She was always nice to him, and he had never given her any romantic thought until this year. He knew she was pretty…and nice…and sweet…but it wasn't until high school that he realized how his feelings had changed towards her. Maybe it was when he saw her during PE, in her gym shorts, trying to play volleyball with the class and failing miserably at it. Or maybe it was when she almost tripped and fell during third period English and he automatically reached out and caught her without hesitating, his heart had leapt to his throat at the sight, he didn't want her to get hurt.

He didn't know when it happened, but once it did, he tried to spend all his time with her... even doing his homework so that she would sit next to him, like she was doing now. Her face was all lit up and she was laughing at whatever funny thing he had just said, he couldn't even remember what that was…

He decided to take a chance…maybe she liked him the way he liked her…there was only one way to find out…

Lost in his eyes, Bella didn't even notice that Jake had leaned in towards her until his nose brushed against hers, and before she could react, she could feel his lips on her skin, the sweet softness of his mouth. He was gentle…and so very sweet, just kissing her lightly…slowly…giving her enough time to relax and respond.

It was exciting and scary all at the same time. But little by little, Bella found herself kissing him back, giving into all the emotions that she was capable of feeling. Almost surprised at her own reaction.

Jake Black was wonderful, and she was so glad that he was here with her.

As the days and weeks went by Bella and Jake began dating exclusively. The news spread quickly all over town. She looked forward to spending time with him after school and on the weekends. He would go over her house and hang out with her and her parents, Charlie and Renee, watching movies or joining them for cookouts in their backyard. They would spend time with Mr. Cutler, helping him sweep the steps and stock the shelves of the corner store.

Life was wonderful for Bella, she loved being Jake's girlfriend, she loved wearing his letterman jacket to school, she loved that her parent's let him go with them when they went to the lake during summer break, but she especially loved that Jake seemed to be perfect for her…made for her…and completely in love with her…

So it was no surprise to anyone when Jake proposed to her right before the end of their senior year of high school, and it was no surprise when she said yes. Forks held one the biggest weddings the small city had ever seen after they graduated, almost everyone in town attended. Charlie rented out the local hall and everyone danced the night away…

As a wedding gift, Charlie and Renee helped them with a down payment on a small house near the edge of town. It was perfect for Bella and Jake, just the two of them in a small cozy two bedroom home. Bella had tons of fun decorating it with Jessica's help, and by the time fall rolled around again, Jake was working with his Uncle Embry at the local timber factory, and Bella began attending Fork's community college and working part time at the preschool located just down the block from their house.

For both of them, life couldn't have been more perfect…

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><p>The first time Edward played his guitar in front of an audience was in church, at his mother's insistence; he played the background music for the choir. The second time he played was at his cousin's birthday party…then for the Mother's Day picnic at the local park in the Spring. Each performance was better than the last, and in the beginning Edward thought the best part was always when everyone clapped and cheered for him when he was done, but soon he realized that wasn't the best part at all…no way…eventually he figured it out…what the best part was…it took up most of his free time…the first thing on his mind in the mornings…the last thing he thought of at night…it's what kept him from riding his bike with his friends during the Summer…and why he never bothered with girls when he started junior high and then High School…it became his life…what he lived for…what he breathed…and that was <em>playing music<em>…

"You're gonna do what?" Jasper, Edward's best friend, scowled at him as they walked through the hall at school.

"Start a band." Edward wasn't even concerned that today was his English quiz, he hardly looked over his notes last night, "You have to join. You're the only other guy who knows how to play a guitar. I called some tenth grader last night, some guy named Emmett; I heard he can play the drums."

Jasper gave out this little huff at Edward's words, rolling his eyes. Unless it had breasts or gorgeous legs, he had zero interest in being in some off the wall band. There was only one thing Jasper Hale was interested in, and that was the ladies…pretty southern ladies…he discovered the opposite sex when he accidentally caught a glimpse into the girls locker room on his way to gym class one day. All that wonderful bare flesh captured his interest, among other things, and ever since then, he was crazy about girls.

Now here was his buddy, trying to make him do something as stupid as start a band…it sounded so dumb…so nerdy…and so much work! Jasper avoided work at all costs.

"Hell no…I ain't doing that. Why do you want to do that shit anyways? We'll be stuck inside _all day_. No way." Jasper was in full tirade until a whiff of flowery perfume, long blonde hair, and bright pink lips, brushed right by him, smiling as she made her way inside the classroom. He stopped talking just enough to smile back and tip his head in her direction causing her to giggle.

Edward completely ignored the girl, refocusing his energy on Jasper once again. "Come on man…just try it. The guy I called on the phone…Emmett…he said he'll come over after school to play with us…come on…we can play whatever kind of music you want." He knew Jasper loved rock more than anything, even though he, himself, preferred that rich country twang…he loved how country music sounded on his guitar, how it felt, vibrating underneath his fingertips. But right now, he'd be willing to sacrifice anything to get Jasper onboard.

"Aerosmith?" Jasper eyed Edward, raising one eyebrow to see if he could get a rise out of him, he knew Edward never like playing hard rock.

Now it was Edward's turn to roll his eyes. "Yeah, whatever… Ray Tabano can play a mean guitar…I bet we can mimic some of those sounds, easy…"

Jasper eyed Edward once more, it wasn't until another pretty blonde overheard their conversation, looking up from her desk and saying, "Y'all in a band? That's so cool! Can I come watch sometime?"

Once those words were out of her mouth, Jasper's eyes lit up like a tree at Christmas time, you could almost see the hairs stand up on the back of his neck, and he readily agreed to join Edward's band.

The practices in Edward's garage started off at once a week. Emmett turned out to be this big bulky guy that looked like something out of a Brawny paper towel commercial, his arms were huge, his jeans extremely tight, his cowboy boots rough and worn, and his sense of humor made Edward cringe every now and then. But the guy could play the drums like no other; his hands flew at lightning speed, never missing a beat. Emmett could play any type of music…rock, pop, country…and he could play it well. Once he and Jasper got over goofing off the first fifteen minutes of every practice, Edward knew he could count on at least an hour, sometimes two, of great music.

By the time winter began approaching Edward's Junior year of high school, the three of them knew they had a unique talent, they all got along fabulously, and genuinely enjoyed each others company.

"Hey guys, I think we should give this a go." It was Jasper who tossed the flyer over to Emmett that day in Edward's garage. Emmett reached out and caught it before it landed on his drums. He scanned it quickly at first, with very minimal interest.

"What's this?" he quickly dismissed it with a flick of his wrist and the flyer floated like a feather to the ground at Edward's feet, "A talent show? Don't you think that's cheesy Hale?"

"Hell no! Did y'all see first prize?" Jasper fiddled with his guitar, adjusting the strap over his shoulder as he spoke.

"Yeah, that's a lot of money…five hundred bucks…but did you read the fine print? It says it must be original…that means we have to write a song ourselves…we've never done that. We only know how to play other band's songs."

Edward ignored Emmett's comments and reached for the flyer…he scanned it quickly, his eyes flying over the small letters. Emmett was right, they would have to write an original song, Edward could already feel the excitement creeping up his spine. This was a perfect opportunity…absolutely perfect…and they were ready…he just knew it…

"We should do this guys…" his voice was firm, and he looked at both Emmett and Jasper who were both looking back at him a mixture of chagrin and doubt.

"Why?" Emmett shrugged his shoulders, twirling one his drum sticks round and round in his fingers, "We don't even have a song. We'll never be able to do this on time."

"I think I have one." Edward spun around and grabbed his old worn leather diary from the wooden work bench, "I've been messing with this for a few months now…want to see it?"

"You wrote a song?" Jasper was already stretching out his hand, curiosity scribbled all over his face, "I've been fixing to do something like that…let me see it." He was quiet for a few seconds as he read…then he looked back up at Edward, "Hell…this is good! Check this out Emmett."

That night they stayed out in Edward's garage until almost ten, only leaving when Esme came and scolded them all for being up so late on a school night.

Edward didn't have to persuade his buddies to practice with him anymore. Emmett skipped basketball practice so he could spend more time at Edward's place; Jasper turned three girls down all in the same week, which was completely unreal, so that he wouldn't ruin their routine. Edward still lived, breathed, and thought of music…that was nothing new…

Each night before he went to bed, Edward would write in that old leather diary. Sometimes just a few words or a couple of sentences…sometimes a paragraph or two. He always wrote with a pen, so instead of erasing things he changed his mind on, he would just cross them out, because he never knew if he would need those words again. Most of the time he realized, that more likely than not, the original words were always the best.

The night of the talent show was something out of a dream. It was the first time Edward was going to play in front a very large group of people, people who were really going to judge him, and not just clap and cheer unless they really liked him.

Jasper looked pretty pale that night, tiny beads of sweat were already glistening along his brow line even before they went onstage. This made Edward worry. He'd been studying all the bands before them and he knew none of them were as good as them; none of them had the same knack for music as they did, nor did they possess the same talent.

"Come on Hale. You ok?" Edward wasn't sure how to ease Jasper's nerves.

"Fine." Jasper wiped his forehead with the back of his arm, "A lil nervous, is all."

"Suck it up Hale." Emmett tapped both of his drumsticks together in front of Jasper's face, "You've got more talent in your little pinky than any of those other guitar players I've seen."

"Yeah, thanks." His friend's words didn't seem to help his nerves at all, Jasper fiddled with his guitar, how did this fucking guitar strap snap close anyways?

"Besides Hale, take a peek out there," Emmett moved the dark blue velvet curtains slightly out of the way, all three boys looked out, "That place is full…full of more girls than you can ever imagine…or possibly date. And they're all out there…waiting for _you_…"

This seemed to perk up Jasper better than any words Edward could think of, he should have guessed that the mention of girls would ease Jasper's mind, because Jasper immediately stopped fiddling with his guitar, a cocky grin taking over his face, "Hell yeah…let's show em how it's done boys."

The applause Edward heard that night meant more to him than any other applause he'd ever received. Some people were even standing up as they clapped. And when they were announced the winners of the talent show, Edward couldn't stop smiling. He smiled through Jasper's victorious shouts, through Emmett's whoops and hollers, and through all that wonderful, wonderful applause.

What he didn't see, what no one really saw that night, was one man…who watched the entire talent show silently way in the back of the auditorium. He left even before the winners were announced, he didn't need to know who won, he already figured out who he wanted, what he needed. No one knew at the moment that this was the man who was going to change Edward's entire life…and Jasper's…and Emmett's…and even Bella's.

Tonight he would let them celebrate…enjoy their victory, because it was all about to change…_tomorrow_…

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><p><strong>Thank you so much for letting me share this with you. Please drop me a review, I love hearing from you!<strong>

**See you at the next chapter!**

**MBella**


	2. Do I

**Hello and welcome back! Great to see you all again. Hope everyone is having a joyous holiday season!**

**Song of the day: "Do I" by Luke Bryan  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own all the other country goodness.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Tomorrow…I'm gonna listen…<p>

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I should have woken up excited and full of life today, I should have pulled open those shimmery golden drapes in the family room to let the sun shine in, I should have raced out to get the paper, just to see what they wrote about me, but I didn't…I just stayed in bed, the covers pulled up to my ear. I knew I was twenty minutes late to the press conference, but I didn't care. What started out as an idyllic, unimaginable dream was now on the very verge of bursting.

The ringing of the doorbell played incessantly throughout the house; making me regret that three thousand dollar wiring job that was put in a few years ago.

I ignored the sound, burrowing my head deeper into my pillow; I already knew it would be Alice. Alice was the only one who could get past the gate, besides, I didn't need to open the door, she had a key.

Alice was my personal assistant, promoter, and one of my best friends. Along with Seth Clearwater, she single handedly turned my image around from an out in the sticks country boy, to one of the most sought after guitar slingers in the country.

It didn't happen right away, in fact, it took about five years after Jasper, Emmett, and I won that talent show.

It was Seth Clearwater who discovered us that night. He didn't approach me then, but he told me that he was sitting in the back listening to all the acts, and ours stood out to him.

He worked for Arista Nashville, and he called my parent's house the very next day while I was at school. He talked to both my parents before he even talked to me, and he was sitting in my living room when I walked in the door that afternoon.

"Edward, a Mr. Clearwater is here to meet you." My mom met me at the door. Her eyes were so bright as she spoke to me, for a second I thought we had won the lottery or something.

Mr. Clearwater was a very tall man. He sat very straight on one of my mom's favorite overstuffed chairs in the formal living room. He looked like a businessman in this jet black suit and tie, but I noticed placed right by his side was a shiny black western hat. It intrigued me.

"Hello Mr. Clearwater." I held out my hand to him politely, still unsure about what this was all about. I notice my dad sitting opposite of him on our sofa. My dad's eyes held excitement in them, but they weren't as bright as my mom's.

"Edward. Edward Cullen…it's a grand pleasure to meet ya. How are you son?" He reached out and grabbed my hand in this super tight grip.

I blinked stupidly at him at first, his voice was so deep, and it most certainly didn't match his appearance.

"Uh…fine thank you…"

"I've been talking to your fine parents here for a while now…we've been waiting for you. There's something I'd like to ask you son. Something I hope you'll be mighty excited to hear…"

My parents left it entirely up to me…I was seventeen at the time, almost eighteen, they listened with proud smiles as Mr. Clearwater filled me in on all the details. He wanted me to go visit their studio, to cut a song for them, a demo, and hopefully if they liked it, an album might be next.

A little bubble of excitement grew in the pit of my stomach, and as I kept listening, I kept getting more and more excited, gripping the arms of my chair tightly. When he asked me if I was interested in making music with him, I didn't really have to give it much thought. I only made one condition…that Jasper and Emmett be included. Mr. Clearwater readily agreed, so exactly five days later, my parents, Jasper, and Emmett, and I were flying into Nashville.

The first song…the demo…it was just some song that Seth picked out from this large stack of music he carried around in this huge binder.

I didn't care for that song much…and neither did the guys, but we played it anyways, as best we could. It sounded like some old vintage country love song…full of ma'am's…sirs…and whatnot. Seth loved it…he loved everything about it…the bass…the vocals…the twang…he wanted us to record it…for reals. I hesitated at that one; Jasper was getting ready to complain up a storm. It was Emmett who soothed things over.

"Mr. Clearwater, while this song is very rich and deep in its country roots, my friends and I have written a few songs that perhaps will appeal to a younger crowd…still country, just a little more hip."

Jasper and I just stared at Emmett in disbelief…I don't think I'd ever heard him talk so grown up…or that he was even capable of it.

But Seth took to him like a bee to honey, and when Emmett showed him my old leather book with all our songs in it, Seth let out this deep gasp, as if he just discovered gold.

And in a way he did…because quite a few of those songs went on to gold…even platinum…

It didn't take long, to make an album. Two songs off our first released album made the top forty, but it was our second album that got us noticed. And we lucked out when Rascal Flatts asked us to go on tour with them. We spent the next few years touring…moving from one spot of the country to the next…those were really fast times…lots of venues, money, and parties. It was easy to make mistakes…and it was where I made my first one…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

"How did your day go babe?" Jake was home early, I hadn't even started dinner yet. His words startled me, making me spin away from the counter where I was standing.

"Jake! Hi honey. What are you doing home? I wasn't expecting you until five."

"Uncle Embry let us out early…there wasn't much work to begin with this morning, we were done by noon, but he let us stay until three." I could see the worry etched in the lines around Jake's eyes. As each week passed, the work at Uncle Embry's place got slower and slower, and even though neither of us talked about it, I knew it was silently weighing us both down.

"Well I talked to my boss this morning; she said it would be alright if I put in a few extra hours a week at the preschool." I tried to ease his worry a little bit, trying to choose my words carefully, but the concern I saw flash across his face made me realize I hadn't chosen my words carefully enough…

"I don't want you to work more hours' babe, you're already working full time, going to school part time…that's more than enough on your plate…" Jake placed his lunch pail down on the counter next to me, giving out this small sigh that made my heart ache.

"It's just a few more…just enough to get us through this rough patch…once Uncle Embry's factory picks up again I'll cut back on my working hours…" I tried to divert his attention by grabbing a few pots and placing them on the stove, "Does spaghetti sound okay for dinner?"

"That's fine…about dinner…but not about working more hours, and honestly Bella; I don't think the factory will be picking up any time soon, if anything, it's going to slow down more. Maybe I should start looking around for another job…" The worry didn't leave his eyes.

I didn't want to keep having this conversation with him anymore…we'd been having the same one for weeks now. It always left me feeling helpless…defeated…and somewhere deep down in my heart…_afraid_…I was afraid that Jake might be thinking, if only he hadn't married me…had gone to college instead…that he wouldn't be in this position. He never ever told me that…but still it lingered in the back of my mind.

Jake headed out to our bedroom to change out of his work clothes while I finished up dinner. Even as I was chopping vegetables for the stew, our conversation rolled over and over in my mind, I finally had to tell myself to stop thinking about it and when we sat down to eat I engaged Jake in meaningless, fluffy, conversation…telling him stories about all the preschool kids I taught.

"So everyone clapped and cheered when Joshua went pee in the potty…" I smiled and then giggled when I saw Jake's small grin, I always loved his smile…I hadn't seen much of it lately…

"How old is Joshua?" He asked before grabbing another roll from the bread basket.

"He just turned three a few weeks ago…so he's right on time for potty training, age wise." I took a sip from my glass of iced tea, offering Jake a refill from the large pitcher in front of us; he declined with a small wave…

"Good for him. I hope he keeps up the good work."

"He's really cute…his mom always dresses him up in these baby boy jeans and cowboy boots…"

"Ah…cowboys…maybe it's a new trend…Uncle Embry has been playing this country station on the radio every day at work…it's starting to grow on me…"

"The music?" I tilted my head to the side in question, "Is it any good?"

"You'd be surprised…there are some really good singers, and some really great guitar players…some guys like Keith Urban, Brad Paisley, Edward Cullen…they're all there on the top of the charts…doing concerts and stuff…the radio keeps playing their music over and over again."

"Hmm…I should listen to it sometime…" I placed my chin in hand listening to Jake talk; he seemed genuinely interested in this topic so I humored him, asking him questions, taking his mind off his work troubles, getting him to tell me about some of the singers and their songs.

"I never realized that most country songs are sort of like a story…they tell you a story…about different things…life, love, loss. It's really different from rap or pop music. This stuff makes you_ feel_ something…sometimes you can't even tell that's it's supposed to be country…"

The more Jake talked, the more I became intrigued with the topic, "Do you have a favorite? I could put some songs in our ITunes library, that way I can listen to it on my way to work."

"Almost all of them are good. Look up some groups like Sugarland or the Zac Brown Band. Try Brad Paisley…and anything by Edward Cullen, he just won some award…CMA singer of the year or something…I bet you'll like him a lot…"

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

Alice was Jasper's wife. We met her years and years ago, when we went on our very first tour with Rascal Flatts, Alice was a friend of theirs, we met her backstage. She was sweet and bubbly, and just so full of life that Jasper was instantly smitten with her, even though she was a far cry from the tall blondes he was so frequently seen with. As far as looks go, Alice was the complete opposite of a tall Southern blonde; she had this short, jet black, spiky hair, large round mysterious eyes, and a sweet angelic smile.

I liked her immediately, especially when she put Jasper in his place right from the start. Jasper was forever in all the magazines with a pretty girl by his side at all times. That cocky smile and grin had a mob of girls screaming for him wherever we went. He loved it…the women…the fame…the media…he was smooth, chatting up the journalists and newscasters alike. He would flirt with any female regardless of their looks, he enjoyed toying with them, making them a flustered, stuttering mess.

Jasper expected Alice to fall at his feet the minute he shook her hand, just like all the other woman did, but Alice cut him short mid chat, and smiled briefly at him before turning away.

He complained nonstop about her back on our tour bus…and in the dressing room…and backstage…

"Who does she think she is…all Ms. Uppity, just because she's friends with Gary, Jay, and Joe, she thinks she's better than us…" he grumbled. Emmett just snorted at him, rolling his eyes, and I ignored him, knowing that anything I said to him would be useless.

But even as Jasper would go on and on about Alice's self-centeredness, I could see it in his eyes…some kind of bright wild look, completely new…completely out of control.

Alice turned Jasper down three times while we were on tour, leaving him dazed, bewildered, and more madly in love than he ever had been.

Something clicked between them right around our seventh show. Jasper wasn't feeling well that week, he had the flu; we were all worried that we might have to cancel as the opening act. It was Alice how took care of him, reluctantly at first, but it surprised us all that she was soon hovering over him protectively, showing up at our bus at all hours, bringing him soup and pain meds, nursing him back to health. Jasper forgot that he only dated Southern blondes, and spent the rest of the tour hanging out with her, within six months they were married.

Alice not only fell into the role of being a music entertainer's wife comfortably, her quick wit, an eye for flair, easy personality, and not to mention she was smart as a whip, made all three of us realize that she was actually the missing piece to our little group. Once Alice came into the picture, her and Seth put their heads together and started using their skills to help promote us, Arista Nashville immediately offered her Alice a contract, so along with Seth, she was brought onboard and toured exclusively with us, helping promote and keep our name in the spotlight.

While I liked Alice immensely, I never doubted that she was the one for Jasper…the minute I saw how he reacted around her…looking at her as if she were the only woman in the room, both Emmett and I were in awe and maybe even a little jealous…that Jasper had somehow managed to find the perfect woman for him, that he made it look so easy.

There were always plenty of available girls around…girls who were willing to do anything for us, just based on our names alone, but neither of us wanted that…we wanted someone real…someone who was meant for us…someone like what Jasper had.

Emmett was little more reserved, only talking to the media when he really had to, but his muscular built, tight jeans, and twinkling eyes kept the ladies swooning. He could date whomever he wanted but he liked staying out of the limelight. He did have one uncontrollable habit…he loved fast cars, the faster they went, the better. At every stop along our tour he would seek out the fasted car he could rent and go riding all over the city.

While I was brilliant player, and successful songwriter, my dating life sucked, and so did my nonexistent image.

I was going through a bit of a media mess at the time. There were still a few things I was struggling with…a few things I still didn't have the hang of…one was the media, the other was the fans.

I had a really hard time in the beginning, I wasn't used to all these women throwing themselves at me…I turned them all down; none of them caught my interest. A few even scared me…

I dated maybe twice back in high school, but it was more of a group thing, going to the movies together and stuff. I had been a gawky, awkward teenager with a guitar who turned into a gawky, awkward young adult…with a guitar.

I completely wasn't ready for the dating part that went along with success…or all those easy women…

I attempted to go out on one date while on tour…just one…and it turned into a complete media disaster…it made me miserable for weeks and the butt of Jasper's jokes for months thereafter…

"Have you read this Edward?" Jasper could barely talk through his fits of laughter. He flung the tabloid magazine he was holding at me, tears of mirth flooding his eyes.

I already knew what that damn magazine said, so I didn't even bother catching it. Emmett was curious though, and he made a grab for it. His eyes scanned the cover quickly and once he read the headline he let out this choked laugh and hurriedly fumbled with the pages trying to find the article.

"Its garbage Jazz…nobody believes that stuff…it's all trash." I tried to shrug but I was still stinging from being the laughing joke of the media these days.

"Aspiring actress, Caroline Cort, admits that she dated Edward Cullen after she met him at his concert in Dallas, Texas. Cort claims she and Cullen went on several romantic, intimate dates before she revealed to him that she was a lesbian…" Emmett couldn't read anymore through the guffaws.

"It's garbage…" I huffed, leaving them to their laughter…

I holed up in my bedroom for a while, trying to figure out why the dating part was so difficult for me. It sure didn't look like any of the other male country singers were having this problem.

Seth was clearly worried about the article…not for my own personal sake, but for the sake of song sales…

"We need to fix up your image a little bit Edward…make you a little bit more desirable…" So he talked to Alice…and together they fixed me up a bit. Alice made a few calls and had Stetson design a hat exclusively for me. They custom made me a deep charcoal grey felt hat with a black band around it. It was so unique and classy that it became my trademark, set me aside from everyone else out there.

Alice convinced Lucchese into a contract to supply all my concert boots. I had an unlimited supply of brown and black boots, each one cut and designed especially for me. I actually loved those boots, they were durable, comfy, and not over the top as so many others were.

The darn hat and boots made me feel like a million bucks and when I walked out onto the stage that night I felt like jamming the night away. I think it showed, because our next three concerts were sold out.

Only Alice wasn't finished yet. My jeans got tighter, my belt buckle got bigger, and pretty soon I was using specially designed guitars that all carried my initials,_ EC_, it became my trademark signature.

I withstood this makeover as well as a man could, at least until Seth began talking about women.

I balked when he started setting me up with women he thought would help me stand out in the limelight more, help me rebuild my image. Some of them were models, which I hated; some were friends of friends that he knew. I put up a fuss for about two weeks until Alice told me to stop acting like a baby and man up.

Every single woman Seth picked was a reflection of a perfect southern lady, even the models, but I quickly figured out, on the outside they were all perfect, but on the inside...well let's just say, a few of them weren't far from the nut tree.

The first three didn't work out, one got embarrassingly drunk; one even threw up in front of a photographer, and one had a rated x wardrobe malfunction…

The others would smile and make small talk, but there was no chemistry between any of us and it clearly showed in all the magazines and websites that were showing my picture. I would pace back and forth, even on our tiny tour bus, a raving lunatic, to the delight of Jasper and Emmett. I must have provided them with hours of entertainment.

"Could you scowl any deeper Edward," Jasper heckled, "The frown lines around your eyes aren't prominent enough." Then he snorted, jabbing Emmett in the ribs with laughter.

"Shut it Jazz. You can't blame me for that one, would you look at that freaking girl Seth set me up with, I mean she was eating everything in sight, I think you can see crumbs around her lips in that picture!"

Jasper just laughed more, and even Emmett gave out a chuckle or two.

I was without a doubt, unhappy. I dreaded reading any magazine article for months knowing that all that those editors wanted to do was gossip about my social life, or my nonexistent social life.

It was right around the time our first single off our second album was inching its way up to number one when Seth introduced me to Tanya.

Tanya Denali was an actress. She was a beautiful, successful young actress from New York who had captured the hearts of fans around the world with her family friendly movies.

On screen and around the press Tanya was an absolute sweetheart…picture perfect and cordial to everyone she met.

Producers raved about her…directors wanted her in their movies…and her fans adored her. It was her good manners and sincerity that captured my interest as well. When Seth brought up her name, I didn't cringe…in fact, I readily agreed to meet her.

Seth called her up and arranged a meeting. The first time we met, it was private; she was in the middle of filming a movie so when my band passed through while on tour, I took the time to go see her at her set.

She was charming, friendly, and just like all her pictures…beautiful. She talked to me like an old friend and seemed genuinely interested in me, my music, and my life.

She was fascinated when I told her about growing up in West Virginia…riding horses…and the countryside. She told me she wished one day she could learn to ride a horse, said she hoped that in the future I could teach her.

When she laughed at my jokes her eyes would crinkle up, and for some reason that made me feel all cocky and proud. Seth looked beyond pleased that we were getting along so well, and for the first time in a long time, the press was awfully quiet about me.

Tanya accepted when I asked her out on a date. It was just a quick dinner at a local restaurant. It wasn't flashy or fancy, and we had a very nice time. Tanya graciously posed for a few pictures with some of the local folks who recognized her. No one made a fuss about me.

It didn't bother me that Tanya was more successful than me, made more money than me, and as we continued to date, whenever we went places, people would recognize her, not me. I think she liked it that way, and I was perfectly okay with it.

Alice didn't like her from the start but she would never tell me why.

"Are you sure you want to keep dating her Edward? You don't have too, I can tell Seth to find someone else. Maybe we can find a girl who sings, that would be cute, you two could be the next Tim McGraw and Faith Hill!"

But I didn't listen to Alice, I just kept thinking that Tanya was almost a perfect match, I could talk to her easily, my success didn't threaten her, and her success didn't threaten me one iota. We seemed like such a good team.

We dated for seven months…we probably would have dated longer but Seth began putting pressure on me. He wanted me to propose to her…to get married.

He knew if I married Tanya it would put me in the spotlight with the press…it would probably help get our newly released single to number one…bring lots of publicity to the both of us.

That was Seth's job, he wasn't trying to hurt me in any way, and since I sort of saw him as a fatherly figure, I went along with it.

My personal life wasn't the way I ever imagined it would be, and Tanya was someone I'd never thought I'd end up with. But somehow it all worked out okay.

Our wedding was simple and I insisted the press be kept out of it. We released a few pictures after our wedding and then I went back on tour and Tanya left back to New York where she was filming her first sitcom.

For about a year our lives weren't so bad.

Four more of our songs hit the top ten during that year. Jasper, Emmett and I were now headliners of our own concerts, many of them sold out months in advance. It seemed like overnight I was deemed a white hot guitar player by all the men, and incredibly sexy by all the women.

I had a house built for Tanya and me in Nashville. It was the house of my dreams…something I always wanted, even when I was just a small town country boy.

My dream house had a gorgeous log cabin type design. Deep red bricks decorated the outside and the pathways. There were fireplaces in all the rooms, even the theater room. The sound system rocked, and if I wanted to, I could let everyone listen to anything I happened to be recording in my studio through that system.

There were five horses on my property. Two of them were meant for Tanya, but with our schedules, I never found the time to get around showing her how to ride a horse.

Actually, because we were both so busy, Tanya and I only spent about three weeks out of the year in that house together, which was too bad…I really loved that house…

So the days passed, and then the months, and before I knew it, a year had gone by.

Little by little my name became more and more recognizable; Alice helped me set up a Twitter account that let me connect to all of my fans instantly. She said I needed to keep up with Blake Shelton, who always seemed one step behind me in number one singles.

Blake was a prankster…a real funny guy. He kept his fans laughing and completely loyal through his tweets.

So Alice spent days coaching me on appropriate things to tweet. She really was one of the few who got my warped sense of humor, and together we came up with ways to keep my "tweets" light and humorous, helping portray my image as Alice would say, "Not just cute, but funny too."

Once during a very cold snap in Nashville, I jokenly tweeted, "Still haven't found the manly way to walk across ice." The fans loved it, and I think I received about a million tweets back in reply.

Every now and then something I would tweet would get splashed all around the news and web; like the time I joked, "If watching the big-screen TV in your pajamas and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn't have couches at this Best Buy."

The press had a field day with that one, but most of my fans tweeted me back, laughing and joking along with me. Alice always got a kick out of this. When I voiced my worry that the press would claim that I wasn't very bright, she just laughed,

"They only do that to the ones they like." She insisted.

Right after our first wedding anniversary Tanya got pregnant. We were both thrilled with the news and when my son, Collin, was born I was a very proud daddy. Things were going right in both of our careers…the sitcom Tanya was in had some of the highest ratings for the network, and I was over the moon when I got inducted to the Grand Ole Opry.

I don't know when things turned around…maybe life just got too fast for the both of us…or maybe we were just too young…or maybe Tanya just wasn't the person I thought she was…

By our fourth year of marriage I pretty much knew it was finished…Tanya was living ten months out of twelve in her apartment in New York, working around the clock on her show, and when I wasn't on the road I was back at our house in Nashville, I never liked spending long periods of time in the big cities…I was a true country boy at heart and the wide open plains and spaces would call to me whenever I had a break from touring.

Tanya had Collin with her, so at least once a month I would fly down there and visit with him. Sometimes she would be there, and sometimes it would just be the nanny we hired.

Collin was always a happy little boy, whenever I saw him he had lots of hugs for me, and he would chatter nonstop about him and mommy so I knew Tanya was doing a good job of raising him…I knew she loved him.

So it stayed that way for a while…and even though everyone in my circle pretty much knew the truth about my marriage, they all stayed very quiet about it.

Country artists are famous for their marriage and family beliefs…I knew Seth and even Alice would go great lengths to keep my image perfect…squeaky clean…and so far they were doing a good job.

I managed to handle my depressingly, empty marriage as well as one could…Tanya was still gracious…at least in front of the camera she was, she would always come out to Nashville, Los Angeles, or Vegas when the CMA's or ACM's were being held, we would stand together on the red carpet and sit together during the show, but we never said more than three or four sentences to each other and she would fly out the next day, most of the time without saying goodbye.

It was almost as if we reached an unspoken arraignment, we presented ourselves as a united married couple out in the public regularly enough so that no one was the wiser, but in private we led very separate lives.

It wasn't until she got pregnant the second time when all hell broke loose.

This was my own personal hell, I didn't tell anyone. Sure, they all might've been guessing the truth, but I was not ever going to say it out loud.

Brady was born right before I left to go out on tour again, right before the CMA's.

I was completely miserable with my life at this point, willing to toss it all out and fade away into the background. Never mind that I was nominated for CMA Male Vocalist of the Year and had to be there at the show, I was ready to throw in the towel.

Which of course Alice noticed, and why she was hovering over me now.

"You're still in bed?"

I pretended not to hear the sarcasm in her voice, and I knew she wouldn't move from her spot. I could already imagine her standing at the foot of my bed, her hands on her hips, a frown on her face.

I turned my head just slightly, so that it was still buried in my pillow but able to take a quick peek out, without her noticing I was awake. I was right, she was standing exactly how I imagined it, except for the frown…her face held a more concerned look to it, instead of anger…and for some reason this made me feel worse.

"I'm just tired Alice…it was a long night." I picked up one hand waving it at her, hoping she would get the hint and leave.

"Tired? You should be over the moon today Edward…Jasper hardly slept a wink last night…Em is probably still partying…" She took a few steps toward me, "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine Alice…thanks." I sighed internally and pushed myself up to a sitting position on my bed.

Alice wrinkled her nose at me, "You slept in your clothes! Do you know how much that sport coat cost!"

I just half shrugged at her, "What does it matter? I'm not going to wear it again right?" I didn't care much about my clothing…both my closets were stuffed full with various leather jackets, sports coats, designer jeans, custom made belts and buckles…all that stuff came and went on a regular basis, sometimes I would wear something once, maybe twice before it got changed out. The only things I really did care about were my Stetsons and my boots…no one but me was allowed to touch those, not even Alice.

Alice threw up her hands at me, half annoyed, half concerned, "Maybe not, but Edward really,…that's a three thousand dollar coat, you won CMA's Male Vocalist of the Year last night in that coat, and now you're treating it like…like…pajamas!"

She spun around still lecturing me as she made her way out, "Where's your phone? Have you tweeted your fans yet? This used to be so much easier two years ago…" her voice quickly faded as she realized her own words…she turned back around to face me, "I'm sorry Edward…really…I'm just trying to help, that's all."

"Its fine Alice," I quickly dismissed her words with a wave of my hand, I sure as hell didn't want her to know how much her words stung, "I'm over that shit, really. And I appreciate everything you do for me…I mean it."

She eyed me quietly for a few seconds…she didn't believe me…hell, I didn't even believe myself…

"My phone is in the living room by the sofa…" I knew she could hear the defeat in my words…but she didn't call me on it, at least not this time, she just turned and walked out of my room quietly.

It was getting worse…as each day passed, I could feel it…this awful choking feeling…it was killing me slowly inside, and I honestly didn't know what do about it anymore…

She somehow managed to get me all fancied up and presentable last night…arranged for it to get "leaked" out that Tanya was still recovering from childbirth, and caring for our newborn which was why she wasn't with me. I walked the red carpet with Jasper and Emmett, who joked and chatted up the press enough so that no one bothered me. Once inside, I pretty much stayed quietly in my seat the whole time. We had to get up once to perform our new single…that was the highlight for me, the only highlight. When I was on that stage I could be a different man…a different person…it was just me and my guitar…but only on that stage.

I didn't even want to win…I wanted Blake to win, I actually hated that I won. I had to go up there on stage and talk…thank everyone…thank my wife…I wanted to skip her name but Seth already drilled it into me that I had to mention her…she just had a baby…everyone was expecting me to be excited about that, so she had to be mentioned. I felt like throwing up…but I guess someone was watching over me because I made it through. I did leave immediately thereafter, not sticking around for any of the parties or press interviews, I let Jasper and Emmett handle that.

"Okay…I tweeted the fans for you…its funny, you should read it. Your bus leaves tomorrow morning. Our first leg of this tour is out on the west coast, you'll like that, and you'll get to see the ocean."

Alice chatted more but I already tuned her out. It was starting all over again tomorrow…the touring…the sleepless nights…the pretending…

I should be glad that Alice focused most of her energies on me, and honestly…right now…I was really glad for that because at this time in my life I wouldn't have known up from down…

I just didn't want to do it anymore…any of it…

* * *

><p><strong>Please drop me a review and let me know how you like it...Hope to see you again soon!<strong>

**MBella**


	3. Tonight

**Happy New Year Ya'll! Hope 2012 brings you lots of good luck and many many fabulous fanfiction stories! :D Feels good to be able to bring in the New Year with you guys!**

**Song of the day... _Tonight_ by Sugarland  
><strong>

**Much love! Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em>I'm gonna walk away and let you go...<em>

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"We have about two hours before the driver picks us up. That's just enough time to talk to Nan, take a few pictures, and close up the house. You don't have to worry about Tanya, I found out her plane leaves at one, so she'll be gone before us…Edward? Edward? Are you listening to me?"

Alice was walking towards me, her smartphone in hand, tapping away at the screen to some random checklist she probably created just for today.

I was listening to Alice, in fact when she mentioned Tanya's name I could feel the hairs sticking up on the back of my neck. Tanya was upstairs right now, getting ready. She arrived here at the house about 4am, while it was still dark out, so that no one would notice. Right now, both boys were napping, at least I thought they were, which was good, that way there would be less chances of fussiness while Nan was here.

The house looked fairly empty, I mean all the furniture was there and everything, but there were no signs of it being lived in. It pretty much looked that way all the time, but Nan didn't have to know that. Our excuse was that I was leaving today, my tour was starting. Tanya was going to spend her time in New York, as always, no one expected her to take a newborn baby out on tour, and since her parents were from New York, everyone assumed that was the reason; her mother would be there to help her.

Nan Kelley was really the only one I allowed to interview us, GAC had exclusive rights to our baby's first photo, and in a few months People's Magazine Country Edition would be featuring a story on us. I was dreading that one even more…

I finally focused my gaze on Alice, who was standing in front of me, her phone still in hand, this little frown on her face.

"Is Tanya ready yet? She looks appropriate right?" It was just some random thing that popped into my head, I could care less how Tanya looked.

"Yes, she looks perfect, although she did complain about the boots, but she's wearing them. Jasper and Emmett are in the studio room, so if you need them, or want them to help with the interview, they're ready as well."

"Alright, let's get this over with…Is Collin awake yet? I'd like to see him before Nan gets here."

"Yes, he's awake now…he's playing in the studio with the guys. Brady is with Tanya, would you like to see him too?"

I knew what Alice was trying to do, she stressed the last sentence enough for me to catch on, and I guess I should be grateful for her, the way she tried to soothe things over all the time. But sometimes I just didn't feel like playing nice, I didn't want to pretend…I longed for something real…I just didn't know where to find it…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

…_I'm barely hanging on_…

That line just kept playing over and over in my head…all day long…it was set on repeat on my ipod because I just couldn't get enough of it, the melody…that _voice_…so full of longing…so full of love. It jumped out at me immediately when I heard it the first time. I understood why Jake took a liking to this music; it had captured me as well.

Today was my early shift at work, I was only there until lunchtime, so once the kids were happy and fed, I headed home. I spent a little time straightening up the living room, listening to that song over and over, memorizing all the words…

…_don't just assume I know_…

I sang along to the music, it was really beautiful, the flow…the rhythm. And that guitar…it was like magic, nothing like I ever heard before…smooth as silk, yet hot as fire.

Who was this guy? This Edward Cullen? How did he come up with such wonderful stuff?

The curiosity got the better of me, and I put down my duster and headed to the desktop computer. It was easy…apparently Google loved him…pages and pages of different links and articles popped up…all about Edward Cullen.

I clicked the first one…mostly out of impatience…

_Country Music's hottest star and wife announced the birth of their second son who they named Brady Paul Cullen. Brady joined the family just in time to see his daddy win CMA's Male vocalist of the year. Wife and actress, Tanya Denali skipped the awards show this year to care for her newborn son; her close friends said she watched the entire event at home with her boys, cheering her husband on. _

_You can catch a first glimpse of Brady on GAC this Friday, when Nan Kelley heads down to visit with the family._

_While the timing might not be ideal, Edward Cullen starts his yearlong tour next week, heading out to the West Coast for the first leg of the tour. Fans have been waiting patiently since he ended his last tour over six months ago._

"Wow…" I stared at a few random pictures, focusing my gaze at the handsome smiling man looking at me from the screen, a bold grey guitar in his hands. I looked at the woman standing next to him; she had her perfectly manicured hand on his shoulder, a sparkling diamond ring on her finger, and a megawatt smile on her face… "lucky…" I breathed, before clicking on the next link…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I couldn't take my anger out on Brady, he was just a baby, and he needed me…to be his father…I wouldn't take that away from him. So when I walked into Tanya's room, I was determined that I would push all my hurt and frustration aside, and be a good dad to Brady.

Tanya looked up at me startled, he eyes wide and round. She was sitting at her custom made vanity, I had it made by one of the finest wood craftsman here in Tennessee, it was one of a kind. I wondered if Tanya even realized that.

"Edward…hi." She still smiled at me, and even though it was probably a sincere smile, there was a look in her eyes…it never left her, every time she looked at me, I would see it there, this distant, hollow look…we were strangers, and we both knew it.

"Hello," I paused looking around her room; I hardly ever went in there, "Is Brady awake?"

"Yes, he is…he's in his bassinet, which is beautiful by the way…thank you…" her voice wavered just a little bit, "I mean, I assumed you purchased it for him…maybe Alice did…I'm not sure…"

"I had it made." I made my way over the bassinet, looking in. Brady was all swaddled up, gurgling happily. He reminded me of Collin, of how Collin looked when he was just born. It tugged at my heart.

"Oh…well…thank you Edward. It's perfect." Tanya turned back towards the large mirror in front of her, picking up a gold chain with a small cross attached to it; I'd given her that necklace right after our first anniversary, it stayed here in this room, hanging delicately on the jewelry tree on her vanity. Tanya only wore it when we were scheduled to attend events or interviews.

There was something about seeing her put that chain around her neck that set me off…we were still married…she was still my wife…and Brady was going to my son….mine.

"Does Brady have everything he needs?" I scooped him up from his bassinet, cradling him gently, walking over and standing behind Tanya. I stared directly into her eyes, the tone in my voice letting her know that I was dead serious, "In New York? In_ your_ apartment, does he have everything to be comfortable? Do you need anything, new nursery furniture, a rocking chair? More money?"

It wasn't long before I began earning more money than Tanya, and she didn't seem to mind the large monthly allowance deposited into her bank account each month. I wanted to make sure my son had everything he could possibly need.

"What? No, we're fine…he has everything…we're fine." She was always this careful in private, when it was just us two. She guarded everything that came out of her mouth, avoided any type of confrontation; because she would lose…we both knew that…she would lose.

I looked down into Brady's tiny face; his eyes looked back up at me…sparkling blue eyes. He looked like his mother, and despite it all, I could feel myself wanting to love him, wanting to protect him.

"You did good." The words just came out of my mouth, I didn't mean to say it out loud, "He's beautiful."

She almost frowned at me, Tanya I mean, her look was pure confusion, but she quickly covered it up with a small smile… "Thank you Edward."

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Jake wasn't in a foul mood when he got home. He tossed his work jacket over the side of the dining table chair instead of hanging it up like he did every day. He was smiling too, almost giggling.

"Well you look happy today." I couldn't help but smile back at him, his mood was contagious. "Work went well today?" I moved away from the computer to give him a kiss on the cheek, but instead he pulled me close to him, swinging me around so that we were face to face.

"I have good news for you." He grinned at me, giving me a quick peck on my lips. I could tell he couldn't wait to tell me something.

"What? What?" I was laughing with him now, more curious than anything to know what delicious news he was keeping from me.

"There's a friend of Uncle Embry's, he owns a shop, hauling lumber. Anyways, his business is booming, he asked Uncle Embry if he knew anyone who would be willing to help him out, he needs long haul drivers. Uncle Embry mentioned me. So, long story short, he offered me a job. A real good paying job, probably more than three times what I am making now…" Jake beamed at me, pausing mid sentence, waiting for me to respond.

"Really? Really? Where?" He was going too fast for me…

Jake just laughed, "His shop is a little over two hours away from here, but I'll be driving…well…everywhere!"

"Uh…" I wasn't sure how I felt about that, "Everywhere?"

"Don't worry babe, it's a set schedule. Three weeks on the road, two weeks home. You can even come with me if you want."

"I have to work…" Now it really set in…what Jake was saying. Three weeks on the road, that was such a long time. But he looked so happy, grinning from ear to ear; I didn't have the heart to complain. "I mean, you know I would love to go with you, but I have to work, and school. My term is almost over though, but I just put in my timesheet to work more hours…" I think I was rambling, but Jake didn't seem to mind.

"We'll work it out babe, you'll see. Besides…" his eyes suddenly started twinkling, like he had this wonderful hidden surprise inside him. "That's not the best part…"

"It's not?" I tilted my head to side, by now I was wary of any other great news; my heart was already pounding anxiously about what the future was going to hold, and not in a good way.

"He gave Uncle Embry some tickets, to a concert. He won them from a radio station promotion that his company sponsored, he doesn't care to go, and Uncle Embry said concerts are not his kind of thing, so he gave them to me. Get this Bella, two second row seats to see Edward Cullen play in Port Angeles, in three weeks!"

Now I was stunned…stunned and speechless…and incredibly, insanely excited…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

Tanya kept a firm grip on Brady throughout the entire interview. I guess she was nervous, or worried. But she was an actress and very good at what she did, no one was the wiser of her disposition.

Nan was wonderful and gracious as always, asking sweet lighthearted questions about our boys. Making conversation with Tanya about staying up all night with Brady, and how Collin was adjusting. They both cooed over the baby while I bounced Collin on my knee, making him laugh and clap.

"So how do you feel about leaving to go on tour? Leaving your sons behind?"

I already knew she was going to ask this question, I could see Alice peeking out from behind the freestanding fireplace, her eyes boring holes into me. But I was used to this now…I didn't fumble with my words anymore, or swallow nervously…I could look people right in the eyes and make them believe every word I said…

"It's going to be more than difficult, I can tell you that. Luckily this tour has just enough breaks in between sets so that I can be with my sons as much as possible. We're also fortunate that Tanya's family can be with her in New York while she's filming so the boys will be surrounded by people who love them."

Nan just smiled at me and gave out this small sigh, placing her hand on her chest as she turned to Tanya. "He's such a hands on daddy isn't he?"

Tanya clutched Brady closer to her, giving Nan a one of her trademark actress smiles, "Oh of course…I couldn't ask for anyone better. Edward Cullen is a fabulous father, my boys are lucky to have him in their lives."

"And of course he's a great husband too right?" I think Nan was trying to be funny, but it made Tanya bristle a little bit.

"He's better than great." Tanya's words were short, "He's perfect…"

Nan didn't even blink, Tanya had skillfully left the sarcasm out of her voice, but I didn't need to hear it to understand.

"So where does your tour take you first? Any place in particular you are looking forward to playing at?"

I could see Alice's fingers gripping the mantle of the fireplace tightly, she clearly knew what Tanya had just said, I knew I had to wrap this thing up soon or somebody was going to say something they would regret later.

"Well, were heading to the West Coast first. I think we play in California first…Fresno…San Diego…and then head up to Washington…I always like playing there…a lot of small towns, good people…it almost feels like home."

That seemed to satisfy Nan for the time being, and she had the camera man take a few family pictures before she left. She wished both Tanya and I good luck, gave both boys a quick squeeze, and then left, much to Alice's relief.

Tanya didn't talk to me anymore after that, within thirty minutes of Nan's departure, Tanya had packed up the boys things and left with her driver.

I stood in the middle of the great room for a few minutes after they were gone. The silence in the house was deafening once again. Even though I didn't want to go on tour this time around, I knew it would do me good. Get my mind off of things, keep me busy…help me forget. But for the longest time I couldn't shake the feeling…the one I got when I held Collin on my lap, Tanya sitting next to me cradling Brady, all of us smiling at the camera. That longing feeling of being complete…of having a family…having people who loved you just because you were you and nothing else. I wondered briefly if I would ever have that…

* * *

><p>I was quiet on the tour bus for most of the trip. Jasper and Emmett knew well enough to leave me alone. Our bus was big enough, and the entire back end was remodeled just for me, and even though I knew it probably would never happen, I had a small area created especially for my son, just in case…one day…he might be with me.<p>

I spent the better part strumming my guitar, trying out a few melodies that crowded my mind. It didn't help my mood that they were all slow and melancholy, or that the only words that seemed to fit the songs were words like _lost, hurt, regret_…

As we got closer to California I began to gaze out at the beautiful scenery that whizzed by, it was always a mixture of gorgeous landscape, a million and one vehicles, and such a wide variety of people. Everyone was always busy here…had something to do…someplace to go to.

A couple of short raps on my door interrupted my daydreaming and I turned away from the window and back down to my guitar, "Come in."

It was Emmett, which surprised me. He loved California, California had every imaginable car at his disposal here and he usually spent most of his time calling up different dealerships in search of something new to drive.

"Got a minute Eddie?" Emmett looked troubled, there were lines around his eyes that I hadn't noticed before, and he wasn't his usual happy go lucky self.

"Sure, come on in Em…sit down. What's up?" I shifted my guitar out of the way, focusing my attention on him.

He hesitated at first, sitting down on the sofa and wringing his hands together tightly before even looking at me.

"I have to tell you something…you probably won't like it…or maybe you already know…but I talked to Jasper…and we agreed that we should be the ones to tell you…" his voice tapered off quietly.

"What's wrong? Tell me what?" I leaned forward in my chair. He had my attention one hundred percent now.

Emmett finally looked up at me and sort of took a half breath, "I know you've been pretty unhappy…uh…about a lot of things lately…and it really shows. I don't think we've seen you smile…I mean really smile in a long time now…but what we found out…you need to know…just in case…you're hoping…" He didn't keep going, but I had just an inkling of what he might be trying to tell me.

"Tanya?" I cocked my head to the side, if this is what he wanted me know, I wanted to at least give him a clue that I wasn't as in the dark as he thought.

"You know?" His eyes searched mine briefly before he looked away quickly, "What do you know Eddie?"

"About Tanya?" I raised my eyebrows, "Well I know a lot of things…I know she doesn't live in New York _alone_…I've seen his clothes there…I know she has a separate bank account with him that she thinks I don't know about…I know Brady isn't mine, because I sure in the hell haven't slept with her in over a year…" I just shrugged.

Emmett's eyes were huge, he just kept staring at me in disbelief that I could say all this so calmly…without a hint of emotion.

"Eddie…we thought you didn't know that shit…I'm sorry."

I shrugged again, "It's not so much of a shock anymore…I've known for a while…I mean it's pretty obvious when I go visit Collin. His shit is everywhere…but mostly in her bedroom…she hasn't told me, of course, but I assume she knows I know…"

Em gave out this little cough, "So no talk of divorce?"

"She hasn't asked for one, and I'm not going to do it. Alice and Seth would kill me, divorce is taboo Em. I'm stuck with her, and as long as she keeps up the charade, we're fine. Her reputation is at stake too, she knows that."

"Fuck." Emmett looked mad now, he was swearing, and that was rare…very very rare for Em.

"Look, it's not a problem. She's fine with it, I'm fine with it. I'll be raising Brady; I made that clear to her. The media doesn't have a clue about any of this, they think everything is perfect and that's the way it's going to stay. Nothing…or _no one_ is going to change that…"

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I stared into my closet for the longest time, mostly wishing that some random piece of clothing would jump out at me and scream _Wear Me! I'm Country!_ Well that didn't happen. I had no idea what people wore to country music concerts, and unfortunately I didn't have the funds to just go out and buy a whole new outfit. I turned away from the closet in frustration, and headed for the phone, maybe Jessica had a few tips on something I could wear…

Jessica seemed to be more excited than me.

"Oh my god! You're going to see Edward Cullen! That is so amazing…he is so amazing! And hot! Have you seen his picture? Totally hot!"

I just laughed at her, offering her a can of Coke and ushering her to sit down at the table with me.

"I haven't really checked him out…" I lied, "I mostly like his songs…there are a few that are really great…I love hearing them…"

"Damn girl…you need to see his picture, he's amazing. Tight jeans, gorgeous green eyes, and that sexy grey hat that he always wears…totally drool worthy." Jessica already had this dreamy look on her face as she talked about Edward Cullen; I didn't want to admit that I had already figured that out for myself.

"Okay, so he's apparently gorgeous…so what do I wear? It's an outdoor concert…I have nothing…" I threw up my hands in defeat.

"Oh girl…we have got to get you looking good…something cute and flirty…maybe he'll smile at you, or shake your hand!" Jessica's excitement was back, "I heard that he gives away his hat at every concert, mostly to little kids, but sometimes to adults. You're sitting right up in the front right? Maybe he'll pick you!"

I just laughed at her again, "I bet there are going to be a million girls there who are prettier than me who'll catch his eye…and won't be there with their _husbands_…"

"Husbands…_shusbands_…who cares…husbands don't count at Edward Cullen concerts." But this time Jessica was laughing with me, and right there in mid-laugh, her eyes lit up, "Hey, don't you have that cute white dress? The one with the crochet hem? Do you still have that?"

I thought for a second… "You mean the one I wore to Jake's cousin's spring party? Yeah I have it…somewhere…but that dress was short…you remember how short it was…"

"Hell yeah I remember…that's the point." Jessica winked at me, "Come on, let's go find it."

Fifteen minutes later I was tugging at the hem of this pretty white dress. I bought that dress on a whim, it was a splurge for me, took up all my play money for that month. Jessica was looking at me the way a mother would look at her newborn.

"It's perfect…just perfect." She clapped, half bouncing up and down, "Now all we need are a few accessories and some rocking boots to go with it. You have to wear your hair down, ok Bella? Don't wear it in that freaking ponytail you always have…wear it down and curl the ends."

I just nodded at her, I hated wearing my hair down, it always got in my face and drooped over my eyes, I was continuously pushing my hair behind my ears whenever I wore it down.

"I think you're in luck too…when my cousin Emily came over she gave me these western boots because they didn't fit her…you wear a size seven right? I bet they will fit you perfect." Jessica was getting way too excited over my clothing and a simple concert, but I have to admit that tiny bubble of anticipation kept growing and growing as the days went by.

The boots fit just like Jessica said, and they were beyond comfortable, I wondered why I never tried on a pair before. I practiced curling my hair a few times until I was satisfied with the results, poking and prodding a few stray hairs into place. I stared at myself in the mirror for the longest time.

Why was I getting so overworked about going to a concert? I pushed some of my hair behind my ear by habit. I argued with myself, this imaginary soothing voice saying over in my head that it was because Jake and I hadn't been able to do anything fun in a long time, or because this would be one of the few things we would get to do together before he had to leave for his new job.

"Yeah…keep telling yourself that." I scowled at my reflection, turning away and heading for the living room. Enough of all this primping…it's not like Edward Cullen was going to notice me or anything…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

We had rehearsed most of the morning, and that went smoothly, but right now…with those bright white lights shining down on me, and all the screaming fans with their hands in the air…it felt amazing. I was on a high.

Every time I grinned down at the audience they went crazy, stretching their arms out to me, trying to get me to touch their hands. I never did, I had a bit of a phobia about touching too many strange people, or having them touch me. A lot of artists loved that part. One of my good pals, Keith Urban, would completely submerge himself right smack in the middle of his fans during his concerts. It would create complete chaos all around him and even with all his body guards around, the fans would still manage to grab and pull on him. Some of them would even get their hands in his hair. He loved it…all of it…he told me once that it made him feel real…alive, and that it made his concerts even all the more fun.

He was all about fun, that guy, and I admired him for it…was even a little bit jealous.

So this time around, while I didn't work up the nerve to get down into the ground level, I decided to treat my fans to something else that they would enjoy, something no other artist ever attempted, let them have some fun before I even stepped foot on stage.

I approached Alice and Seth with my idea even before we announced the tour. They loved it and ran with it, and because they were the best in the business, the headlines soon blazed with all kinds of exclusive peeks to Edward Cullen's upcoming tour.

It was like a carnival…or a fair…or a mixture of the two. We carefully selected only the perfect outdoor venues who held the space for this type of party. I was proud to have Ford sponsor my concerts and they funded everything. The booths and the rides, and even the staff needed to get this thing off the ground.

There was everything you could possible imagine there…food and snacks galore from cotton candy, candy apples, to tacos and burritos. There were games for all ages that were completely free to play; they gave away small fun items such as bumper stickers and magnets with my likeness. And of course, there were the rides…One was my favorite, it was a simulated race car ride, and just to make it fun, the fans could race one another all afternoon before the concert started and the person with best score would win the opportunity to meet me and the guys backstage after the concert.

It was instantly a bit hit, the reviews were off the charts, and after seeing all the amazed, happy faces when our first concert was over I knew that it would only get bigger as we kept touring.

It was the only bright spot on an otherwise not so thrilling life. I figured one day I would get the courage to do something like Keith did, but for now, what my fans didn't know, and no one yet realized was…that I actually did spend time out there with them, the fans. They just didn't recognize me, or my baseball cap, my tennis shoes, my shades.

You see, if I wasn't wearing my trademark items, I looked just like the next guy…nothing special about him. So I walked around the venues…stood next to strangers…smiled at little kids who would stare at me suspiciously. Sometimes it was the highlight of my day…especially when one or two little kids would recognize my face, they'd get all excited and nearly go crazy trying to get their parent's attention.

No one ever believed those little kids. The parents were too busy having a good time and would brush them off with a wave of their hand. Most of the time I would give those kids a smile and a wink, just to let them know they weren't crazy, that they saw things grown adults couldn't see, that they were wiser than almost everyone around them.

But right now, up on that stage, with the lights all around me, I felt like a million bucks, Emmett and Jasper playing hard next to me, our faces flashing on the big screens behind us. The music was loud and fast, I could see people singing along with me, they knew every word to my songs and no matter how many concerts I performed, every time I saw this, it would leave a lump in my throat.

Of course there were the girls…in the middle of the screamers there were always _those _girls. You could spot them easy, they were the ones wearing high heels, at an outdoor venue…they were the ones with bright red lipstick, even if it looked pretty on them I always wondered where those lips had been. And their clothes…always too tight…revealed too much…shameless and tasteless. Those girls tried to scream the loudest…fling themselves onto the stage…I could see it in their eyes, almost a desperation…that if they could just get one chance… just one…they could change my world, and theirs too.

Every now and then the thought would cross my mind…I could have any one of these girls…any one of them…do whatever I wanted with them, and discard them later, on a whim if it interested me. But the manners my parents had installed in me hung over my every move. Women were meant to be treated respectfully, and I was raised a proper Southern gentleman, it was in every breath I took…it was why there was no divorce…why I was going to raise another man's child…and probably why I let a woman who didn't love me…keep me…

* * *

><p>Both Jasper and Emmett were still on a high back at the bus. We were parked around the back of the venue, some of our semi-trucks that hauled our equipment parked specifically to block the public's view of the bus. A few of them already taken off, headed to our next venue. The ones that stayed behind, mostly for the big screens and computer systems, they were rarely successful in hiding us, the true fans always knew where to find us, and there was at least a group of about fifty people milling around the steel fence that separated us, from them.<p>

"Who needs a drink?" Alice was cheerfully pouring Corona's for the guys, it was their favorite unwinding beer, they requested it after every show we did.

"Me!" Emmett's voice boomed across the bus.

"I'll take one Angel…" Jasper held up his hand at his wife, blowing her an imaginary kiss.

Alice knew better than to offer me one. I didn't drink. I tried it once…when I turned twenty one…Jasper and Emmett dragged me off to this out of the way bar to celebrate. They weren't really that surprised that I hated the stuff…hated any kind of alcohol. I could sing about the stuff, ironically, but drink it…no thanks. Alice told me once, that little piece of randomness about me would drive the ladies wild, but I didn't believe her. At all my concerts I could see the girls with their beer bottles and plastic cups in their hands as they yelled my name, I had yet to come across anyone who admired a country star that didn't drink.

"Edward? What do you want? Coke? Juice? Water?" Alice was peering into the bus refrigerator; she had a seltzer water in her hands as she yelled at me.

"Give me one of those Alice." I gestured at the bottle in her hands. I was always thirsty after concerts, and sometimes it took hours before any of us could wind down, shake the thirst.

"Hell! Do you see all those people out there, guys?" Jasper was peering out the bus window. The fans couldn't see us looking at them through the tinted windows but we could see them clearly. We all crowded around him to see out, he was right; there were throngs of people, some calling out our names. Em chuckled, the scene before him amused him, and he took another swig from his beer.

"We should go out there and make their night."

Which of course got Jasper all riled up. "Now that would be totally cool."

"I think I'll pass," I took a swallow from my drink, turning away from the window, "I'm wiped, but ya'll can go on out there…make some people happy."

I don't know what time they all came back inside, but I did hear later from Alice that the mob of people almost tripled in size within minutes. I was glad I stayed in.

It had to be after two am when Alice rapped softly on my door. I could feel the engine grinding on the bus so I knew we were probably just about to pull out.

"You doing ok?" Her voice was soft, she was tired, by now we all were.

"Fine Alice, thanks, go get some sleep. Jasper back yet?" I was pretending to write, my leather book was open in front of me on my lap, but honestly, it had been weeks since I'd written more than two sentences.

"Yeah…both of them are back...they're already snoring. You should be too. We only have one day rest between this set. Did you say goodbye to California yet? Washington's next up. We should be there tomorrow."

"My goodbyes are said…" I joked, "Washington tomorrow huh? That should be a fun place."

"I think it's going to be way better than the last time we were here. Our attendance numbers have been doubling almost automatically. Ninety percent sure Washington is going to sell out for you." Alice was always full of numbers and facts…she made it look so easy all the time.

"Sounds cool. Where are we playing first?" I pushed the book away from me. I was done with it for tonight. I could start all the pretending again tomorrow.

"Port Angeles. We'll get there mid morning and the trucks should be there before the afternoon. The set up should be done by nightfall. The stage belongs to the venue so you can practice with their equipment until ours gets here. Our system truck isn't that far behind us, and the sound truck left hours ago so it should be there before we even get there."

"Ok cool. Thanks Alice. Port Angeles…tomorrow…got it. Now I'm going to bed. Sounds like tomorrow's going to be quite the busy day…"

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

"Come on, let's go babe. We're not going to find parking."

Jake was rushing me, trying to tear me away from my mirror. I knew I looked good but I felt overdone and silly.

"Wow babe, you look hot." Jake flashed me that dimpled grin and raised his eyebrows. It actually made me blush.

"You think?" I twirled around for him, thankful that the boots I wore wouldn't kill my feet tonight, they were so comfy.

"Hell yeah, I always liked that dress. Where'd you get those shoes?"

"They're Jessica's, but shhh don't tell her, I'm thinking of keeping them." I giggled, Jake just shook his head at me, gave out a little snort.

"Just buy yourself your own pair babe, I kinda like them on you." He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before pulling on my arm, "Now let's get out of here and go see Edward Cullen play. I heard there's a big carnival like thing going on right now on the grounds. The radio was saying this concert got sold out."

"Really? He's that famous huh?" I let Jake lead me out to our car. Of course Edward Cullen was that famous, if Jessica knew all about him already, that meant he was famous.

"Yeah. Let's go. My buddy told me there's a cool race car ride there and I want to try it out."

"Ok ok…" I sighed, however I looked right now, it was going to have to be good enough. "Let's go."

* * *

><p><strong>Did I leave you hanging? I hope I did! LOL May you all have a fabulous weekend! Love and hugs to you all!<strong>

**MBella**


	4. I Don't Want This Night to End

**Hello! Welcome back! Let's just dive right in, shall we?**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own all the country goodness. :)**

**Song of the day: _I Don't Want This Night to End_ by Luke Bryan**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>Forget all the regrets that are bound to follow...<br>**

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"Have you eaten yet? Chef Mike has the dining area all set up. The crew is already eating. Come on out of there and get some breakfast Edward." Alice's tone told me that I was going to have to crawl out of bed.

"Give me five…I'll be right there." I was awake anyways, just staring at the ceiling of the tour bus. We arrived in Port Angeles sometime around five in the morning, I felt the bus jerk to a stop, it woke me up and I hadn't been able to fall asleep again.

I spent the next few hours contemplating my life, my son's life. Would either of us ever have a normal life? Be a real family? The thought tossed and tumbled around in my brain, not letting me get any rest. Broken…we were broken, and since I couldn't sleep any longer, I began to fill the pages of my old leather notebook. Lines of a tired man and a lost girl…both separate, yet intertwined. I even left a copy for Jasper and Emmett to check out when they woke up. Who knows, maybe _Broken_ would be our next big hit.

I shook the last of my tiredness away as I made my way down the dim hallways located behind the stage. This was my home away from home, all the venues were different but each of them were the same in the sense that they each had dressing rooms, dining rooms, and lounging rooms situated behind the stage. This is where the musicians hung out during the day, so they wouldn't be so cooped up on a bus.

Our chef traveled with us. Mike was a good guy, a longtime friend of Emmett's, and after a brief stint at a well-known culinary school, he became a top notch chef. We hired him because he cooked pretty darn good food, and mostly because we trusted him.

Both Jasper and Emmett were already chowing down at one of the tables. And while Alice made sure we all ate, the girl herself could go all day just carrying around her water bottle. I hardly ever saw her eat, but darned if she had more energy than all of us put together.

"Did you get the biscuits?" Jasper was shoveling food into his mouth as I sat down, "Grab a couple, Mike covered them with apple butter this time, damned delicious…"

Emmett didn't say a word but I could tell he agreed when he didn't pause his eating and just grunted in agreement.

"I got one." I pushed the food around on my plate; I never had much of an appetite these days.

"Hell, I think I ate five…" Jasper snorted, wiping his mouth with his napkin, while Emmett grunted again. I just shook my head, knowing they were going to pay for that later…

"I read your song…the one you left by my sticks…" Emmett managed to get out a few words in between chewing.

"Oh yeah, me too, Em and I were talking about it earlier…it's white hot Eddie. How long have you been working on it?" Jasper put his fork down and looked at me expectantly.

"A few weeks," I lied, "What do you guys think? Should we cut it?"

"Hell yeah, we should…" Jasper nodded eagerly and picked up his fork again.

"I think we should do it a.s.a.p.…and not only cut it, but make a real hot video for it too…" Emmett pushed his plate away from him, tossing his napkin down and getting up from the table. "And this time Eddie, you need to be the star in the video…"

I always liked to walk around the grounds before any of the people got there, familiarize myself with the area. It was empty, the booths were all set up and ready to go, but it was still hours away before the workers were due to arrive.

The sun began to rise higher, and I knew it was going to be a bright sunny day. My favorite kind of day, and I wandered around a little more thinking about what Emmett said at breakfast, I hated starring in my own videos…I always liked to be the singer on the side, sort of speak, while the video's main characters acted out the story of the song. But I knew what Emmett was getting at…while the fans always liked my videos, none of the videos ever won anything, for just that reason, I was never really _in_ them…

Before I knew it, it was time to head back to run through a rehearsal or two…by the time we finished fine-tuning the second set we could hear the rustle and bustle going on throughout the grounds around us. It was almost time…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

It was surreal. Like nothing I've ever seen or imagined before, from the moment Jake and I stepped out of our car, to making our way through the front gates.

It was like being at a carnival, or a fair, our shoes leaving footprints pressed into the dirt floor as we walked. People were everywhere, and they all had this same excited look on their face as they walked by. I guess my own expression mirrored theirs.

I gripped Jake's hand tightly as we weaved in and out of the crowd. He seemed happy wandering from booth to booth, buying us both a cotton candy and trying his hand at a few games. I was more content to people watch.

These folks were fascinating. Every type, style, and form of a person had to be here, big burly guys in plaid shirts with stick thin women at their arm, groups of giggling girls who looked like they still belonged in high school, there were even little kids, all decked out in some form of country wear. You could see masses of western hats cruising through the crowds, and the boots all kicked up a little bit of dust as they strolled by.

The sun blazed down brightly on us, and I was immediately glad that Jessica insisted on me wearing my white dress. It kept me from overheating, and I didn't feel so out place wearing it, I mean some of the girls who passed me had even less on, but almost everyone wore boots, which I though was cool.

My curls bounced along my bare shoulders as we passed another vendor selling beer. I wanted to brush them off my arms, but forced myself not to mess with them.

"I think I'll have a beer." Jake made his way towards the end of the liquor line, "Are you thirsty? Do you want something to drink?"

"If they have any water, I'll have that." Beer was not my thing, it never had been. And while Jake finally made it to the window to order our drinks, I was distracted by a large crowd, not too far off, whooping and hollering. It looked to be a roped off area, next to some small trees. It sent a small shiver of anticipation along my spine; did they see something or_ someone_ interesting?

"What's going on over there?" Jake handed me my water, his eyes scanning the crowd before us.

"I don't know," I shrugged as casually as I could, "Want to go check it out?"

"Yeah, sure…come on." My heart skipped a beat as we headed toward the mass of people. There had to be something going on there right, I mean with all those people around hollering…I tried not to get ahead of Jake, but I was just so anxious to see…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"How's it looking out there Alice?" I peeked out over Alice's shoulder, my gaze falling out onto the crowd. We had been hanging out in the lounge when Alice decided she wanted to have a look out, I followed her out of boredom, we headed near the back pathway that connected the stage to the lounge room. A heavy black velvet curtain kept the crowd from being able to see us.

"Looks like a madhouse out there." Alice smiled brightly at me, she was pleased at the crowd, I could tell. "This is sold out for sure Edward."

"Well that's good right? That means we'll have a great time tonight." I tried to let some of Alice's enthusiasm surround me, but it wasn't really working. I peered out into the crowd again, my eyes passing over a group of giggly girls, some roughhousing guys, a few kids…

"It should be rockin' tonight." Alice moved a little more to the left, her hand pulling the black curtain back just a little more, giving me a better look.

It was hard to really focus on the people faces as they walking around…everyone was in motion, their bodies moving a mile a minute, all laughing and talking with one another, eating and drinking at the same time. They all looked like they were having a great time, their eyes all bright and shining, which made me proud and sad…because yet again, I didn't have anyone to really share this with.

_Because you're broken_…_broken and alone_…the voice in my head reminded me…

My eyes kept moving over the crowd, everyone was with someone, no one was alone. And then, like something out of a daydream, I saw her. She was standing all by herself, next to some small trees, I couldn't see her face, just her back, but that's all I needed to see. She was alone, and her aloneness beckoned to me.

"Hey, have you seen my cap? I feel like taking a little walk…" I looked behind me, back into the open door of my dressing room. I knew I brought it down from the bus.

"You're going into _this_ crowd? Are you sure Edward? It's packed down there; someone is going to spot you." Alice looked over her shoulder at me with a frown, she didn't look too happy with my decision.

"I won't go far…You see that crowd there, near those trees…" I pointed to the area where the race car simulator was set up, "All those people are into the driving, they won't pay any attention to me."

"Yeah well…don't go out further than that ok. I'll have some of the security stand by those concession stands on the opposite corner just in case. Fifteen minutes…max." Alice was all business, and it made me chuckle that she always had a plan…no matter what I wanted to do…she always had a plan.

"I promise…fifteen minutes." I was already grabbing my baseball cap, arranging it low on my forehead.

"Here, take your shades too." Alice tossed me my sunglasses right before I pushed back the curtain.

I wasn't worried at all moving through this crowd. No one ever really expects the star to be out mingling right in broad daylight, and this crowd was no different. Some of them even brushed right by my shoulder as they walked without so much as an _excuse me_.

A large group surrounded the simulated driver ride; I knew that would be a popular one. The line for it was long, but they all watched on small screens that were set up around it, keeping they eyes on the high scorers.

I knew better than to put myself in a position that I couldn't get out of, so I made my way over to the roped off area, around the back way, as close as I could get to the trees.

I can't tell you how many steps I took, or exactly how many people were standing across the way, or what they were all talking about. All I can say is that my eyes were glued on her. And honestly, all I could see was the back of her, but for some reason this girl called to me, the closer I got, the stronger the feeling was.

I watched these gorgeous waves of glimmering brown curls caress her back like a blinding waterfall. The sun kissed skin of her bare shoulders shimmered with each glowing ray. I was on autopilot now, my eyes locked onto the back of this girl. My brain battling furiously with the rest of my body, commanding me to stop, demanding that I not do anything that would create attention to myself. I completely ignored me…

I kept moving, kept on walking until I was standing right next to her, less than six inches away from her. I stared straight ahead for a few seconds, mostly to calm down, try to shake off whatever seemed to have possessed my body.

She didn't look at me, she was busy, her right hand up shielding her eyes from the sun as she watched the boisterous race car driving crowd across from us. It gave me the time I needed to command my brain to stop fucking complaining and say something to her.

"You having a good time?" That was as neutral a question I could think of.

She didn't move at first, didn't answer. And then I guess she realized I was talking to her. "What?" Her voice was puzzled; she moved her hand from her face and turned to me. She couldn't see my eyes through my shades, and I hadn't turned my head towards her. "Me?"

Her voice was beautiful…just beautiful, and out of the corner of my eye I could tell she was beautiful too. Her lips were still open slightly, and I'd be lying if the sight of that mouth didn't make my knees just a little bit weak. After a bit of hesitation, she finally answered me…

"Uh…yeah. I am. You?" She turned away from me then, and looked back out into the crowd, her eyes glancing quickly at the line. I knew then, whoever she came with had to be standing in that line. Hopefully just a girlfriend…or a cousin...

"I'm feeling good." I answered her honestly. I finally turned to face her; I wanted to see into her eyes, see what she really looked like. She turned her head back towards me, staring right into my shades, probably looking at her own reflection in them.

She studied me quietly for a moment, and I should have said something else…to keep the conversation going, but I was too busy getting lost in those gorgeous brown eyes, and those glossy lips, that I was ridiculously quiet. It was the flash of annoyance I saw across her face that jolted me back to reality, so I did something…something I'd never done before, at least not to the adults. I cocked my head down letting my shades slide lower onto the bridge of my nose, all while staring at her, hoping the twinkle in my eye would be all the clue she would need…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

It was just a dumb race car game, over by the trees. That's what everyone was crowded around, but it made Jake super excited and he immediately got in line for it. I knew it was going to take at least an hour before he got his turn. The sun was beating down on us with no shade in sight, and I dreaded standing there letting it melt my perfectly made up face.

"Why don't you go on over by the trees babe, no one is standing there…that way the sun won't bother you." I was so glad Jake didn't want me to stand by his side the entire time, so I nodded at him and made my way past the ropes across and around the back end towards a few smallish trees. They didn't provide a whole lot of shade, but it was definitely cooler that standing right in the direct path of the sun.

Shielding my eyes from the harsh light, I could see the drivers of the game reflected on the small screens hung around the posts, so for a few minutes I watched, smiling at some of their crazy antics as they tried to win first place.

I saw his shadow and felt his presence before he even said a word, one minute I could feel the warm sunshine on my back and the next it was gone.

"Are you having a good time?" His voice was deep and rich, it captured my attention immediately but my brain didn't register that he was talking to me, I mean he couldn't be talking to me, at least until it dawned on me that we were the only two people standing there.

"What?" I turned my head sharply in his direction, he wasn't looking at me, he was staring straight ahead, at least that's where I imagined he was looking, he was wearing this ridiculously huge pair of shades, so for a second, as I studied him, I thought I had just imagined him talking to me. But then his body shifted, turned slightly towards me, he was awfully close, I was sure I heard him speak, so mostly by instinct I answered him, somewhat…"Um…yeah. You?"

And then I found myself looking at my own reflection through the dark, black glass that covered his eyes.

"I'm feeling good." Geez his voice was so nice, it almost sounded familiar. And then reality hit me…here was a strange man talking to me…possibly hitting on me, I shouldn't be talking to him, I was just about to tell him to back off, but that's when he did it…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

If I had to count, I would say it took her about ten seconds before she recognized me. Those were the longest ten seconds of my life, because by second number three I was already agonizing that she really didn't know who I was.

But then those brown eyes got super large and round, her pink lips opened even more, and the only noise she made was this little _uhhh_ sound.

Flooded with relief I flashed her a smile…I couldn't stop smiling at her even if I wanted to, she was just so darn beautiful, I even let out a little chuckle at her reaction.

"You…You're…" she finally was able to form a few syllables, her hand frozen halfway in front of her, her eyes still enormous and stunned.

Mostly because I was feeling cocky, and completely enjoying that feeling, I pressed one finger silently to my lips, my eyes locked onto hers; assuring her she was right, yet reminding her not to let the entire venue know.

"Yes Ma'am, I am…" I nodded slightly, still smiling at her. I held out my hand, offering her a handshake, "And you are?"

"Edward?" Her head tilted to the side in pure confusion, tiny sparkles bounced off her hair as it caught the sunlight. Her words made me chuckle again.

"No… you can't be Edward…because that's me…_I'm Edward,"_ I reached out on my own and grabbed her immobile hand in mine, it was soft and smooth, and fit perfectly, "You are?" I tried again.

"Um…Oh…sorr…No. Um…Bella…I'm Bella…" she shook her head at me, fumbling over her words. I could feel her hand start to tremble in mine.

I should have let her hand go, that would have been the gentlemanly thing to do, instead I took my free hand and enclosed her hand in both of mine. The gesture was out of pure selfishness, although I made it look as if I was just reassuring her, I simply didn't want to let her go yet.

"Bella…" I continued to smile warmly at her, "That's a beautiful name…"

"Oh…" she said again, it was almost a sigh. A beautiful wishful sigh like _Oh_…

I would be lying if I didn't say that simple _Oh_ made me twitch in places I hadn't felt in years.

"I hope you're here to see…_me_?" Now I was just plain teasing her…messing with her head. Hell…I was acting just like Jasper used to, but this newfound feeling was screwing with my own head, lighting a fire within me that had never been lit.

Her hand trembled more, but she didn't pull away. She took a few short breaths and seemed to regain some of her composure. She studied me quietly for a few seconds and then a brilliant, sparkling smile overtook that perfect face…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Those shades slid down the bridge of his nose like something out of the movies, just low enough so I could see right into his eyes.

I stared mesmerized into those amazing pools of green for longer than I should have, not even the jolt that ran down my spine made me blink. It did send my brain into overdrive because suddenly I realized that I was staring right into Edward Cullen's eyes. A furious battle ensued within my body; there was no way Edward Cullen would be standing here next to me…smiling right at me…I had to be dreaming, or this was a damn good imposter…

But then he laughed…more of a chuckle really, and I heard it again…the familiarity of his voice. I knew then…I knew exactly who was standing in front of me…

"You…" I breathed, losing my breath with just that one word. Inside I was screaming…at the top of my lungs…_this is Edward Cullen…standing right here…right next to me…_

I think he could sense it…that I was about to lose it…because he did the most adorable thing…he leaned even closer to me and pressed one finger to his lips, still smiling. I could see some sort of mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he watched me.

My eyes were locked onto that finger pressed against his lips. I was completely frozen…star struck if you will. I couldn't even move when he held out his hand to me, the idiot I was…

He said something to me…I don't know what, my brain wasn't registering his words, his hand was still stretched out to me but the jolts running through my body kept me from moving an inch, and finally I managed to spit out the only thing that was ringing through my mind…

"Edward?"

He got a kick out of that, laughed some more at me, but I didn't care because before I could do anything else, all I could feel was the warmth of his hands as he took my own hand in his. His touch made me start to shake, I was glad he didn't let go or else I was going to need something to sit down on. The ringing in my ears died down enough so that I could register his next words.

"I'm Edward…" that deep silky voice filled my ears, "You are?"

Oh! He wanted to know my name…that's what he was asking me…my name. Wait…what was my name again?

"Um…Oh…sorr…No. Um…Bella…I'm Bella…" I'm positive I sounded all high pitched and squeaky, and must have blushed a million shades of red, but he kept right on smiling at me, not letting go of my shaking hand, squeezing it between his own in the most comforting way.

He told me my name was beautiful, the sound of his voice completely filled my ears, I could finally focus on that deep rich tone, he had a bit of an accent, a sweet southern accent that made me feel all warm and tingly, right down to my toes. My breath escaped me again in this whooshy Oh…

And then I heard something else in his voice…a new tone, even more silky and sexy, mixed with that accent, if he weren't still holding onto my hand I definitely would be melting right there in a little puddle at his feet.

Edward Cullen was most certainly flirting with me…asking me in this deliciously teasing tone if I was here to see him, his eyes were twinkling, a bright smile on his face. I thought for sure he could hear the pounding of my heart. I willed myself to breathe…in and out…in and out, still staring into those delicious eyes…he was just so amazing…so sweet…

Something snapped inside of me, I found myself responding to his playful tone, smiling up brightly at him.

"Of course I'm here to see _you_." I don't know how I found my voice…much less my girly, flirty voice…but there it was. I could hear it loud and clear.

And apparently so could Edward Cullen because he squeezed my hand just a little bit harder at my words and seemed at a loss of what to say.

It was my turn to chuckle. But once I found my voice, a million questions all danced around in my head, and I looked up at him in question, "Do you…_always_ do _this_?"

Edward's eyebrows rose slightly and he seemed to think about my words intently, still holding tightly to my hand. He suddenly waved one hand in front of him; spread it out towards the booths, and the crowds, and the air in general…

"_This_…I do…once in a while." He wouldn't take his eyes off mine, "But _this_…" he stressed his words carefully, bringing his hand back and covering mine completely again, "Only with _you_…"

"Ah ha…" I tried to laugh…tried to keep playing the game, but his eyes...and his hands...and his words were just making it too...damn...hard…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

Never, in my entire life, did a few short words make me as flustered as I was feeling now. I couldn't explain it…won't even try. All I knew was that I never wanted to let this girl's hand go…I wanted to keep it in mine, and fuck it…I wanted her to be mine.

But I knew my time was running out. I could see Alice's head poking out from behind that damn curtain, and from the way it was bobbing around I could tell she was steaming.

And make no doubt about it…I saw the ring on Bella's finger, the _wedding_ ring. Hell, I had a gold band on my finger that didn't mean one fucking thing. _Of course_ a woman as beautiful as her would be married…snatched up. I wasn't stupid, but those few short minutes I shared with her let me see my life in a whole different sense, and it gave it a whole different meaning.

So I racked my mind to find something, anything, that would get me another chance to spend time with Bella, married or not.

"So where are you sitting Bella? Will I be able to see you from the stage?" I was still flirting with her, and trying to show off, not to mention that I really wanted to know where she was going to be, not wanting to waste once second of precious time searching the crowd for her.

"I hope so." Her eyes were so bright, so captivating, "Second row…seat seven or something like that."

So I couldn't impress her with front row seats, which was my original plan. A flash of Alice's spiky hair caught my attention; I could see she was hopping around, waving her hands at me. It gave me an idea…

"Will you come with me?"

Her eyes got very wide again at my words, at least she didn't know what I was really thinking.

"I…I…" My request made her all flustered again; she didn't seem to know what to say. She glanced quickly across from us to the car racing crowd.

Worried that she might hesitate, I tried to ease her fears. "There's someone I'd like you to meet."

I was almost positive Bella was going to say no, she watched me carefully, I guess trying to figure out if she could put her trust in me. Some of the old doubt began creeping right back into my head, until she spoke…

"Ok." She smiled up at me again, allowing me to guide her right over to where Alice was hiding. I finally let her hand go but ghosted it along her back as we walked.

I could see Alice's eyes battling furiously with me as I brought Bella over, but nothing was going to stop me from accomplishing what I wanted to do.

"Bella, this is Alice. Alice is my personal assistant. Alice this is Bella…could you please see to it that Bella gets…" I turned and smiled again at the beauty beside me, "How many people are you here with, Bella?" I could see Alice's eyes flashing back and forth quickly between me and Bella, and I could see Bella studying Alice cautiously.

"One…just one…I mean two…uh…me and him…two."

I nodded warmly at Bella, acknowledging her answer, and turning back to Alice, "Could you see that Bella receives _two_ backstage passes for after the concert." It was a request, not a question.

Alice just raised one eyebrow at me, her eyes were burning with curiosity, but being the gracious friend she was, she turned to Bella and smiled at her, nodding her head in agreement with me, before turning around and heading quickly towards the equipment room where we kept all of that stuff.

Turning one last time to Bella and not being able to resist touching her, I let my hand rest on her arm, "It was a pleasure to meet you Miss Bella. I hope you enjoy the concert and maybe get to spend a little time with me afterwards. I'll be looking for you."

Bella didn't say anything to me; I hope it was just shock. I just kept looking into those promising brown eyes, hoping she could see everything I couldn't say. When Alice returned she carried two lanyards in her hand, the passes attached to the bottom of them.

"Alice will tell you everything you need to know. I have to go now. Enjoy the show." I felt my fingers tighten around her arm just briefly before finally letting her go.

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

The girl in standing in front of me kind of scared me. She just kept watching me really carefully as if I were going to bite her or something.

We both watched Edward walk away down some type of hallway and disappear around a corner. I was still shaking inside at actually meeting him…at talking to him…that I still really couldn't think straight.

"You're name is Bella?" The girl finally spoke. I looked back at her and nodded wondering if she was really going to give me the backstage passes or not, maybe she was trying to think of some kind of excuse. Maybe Edward was really a whack job and did this all the time…

"Well like Mr. Cullen said, I'm Alice. I'm his personal assistant, here are the passes; please don't lose them as they can't be replaced. You'll see several types of security during the show. Once the show ends, there'll be possibly four to five security guards wearing black polo shirts. Those guards belong to us, not the venue, and those are the guards you want to approach so that they can lead you backstage…" Alice paused briefly, and I kept on nodding at her so she could be sure that I understood her.

"A little bit out of the ordinary…I can't remember the last time I gave one of these out, if ever…he's never done this…" Now it sounded as if she were just talking to herself. She stretched out her hand to me…

"Well here you go…you have any questions?" The look in Alice's eyes seemed to be more curious than anything else.

"Thank you...uh…well…umm…what happens backstage?" I tilted my head to the side in wonder.

Alice just laughed at me, "I have no idea. Like I said…never happened before. When the radio stations give these things out, we take them on a tour of the back, and if Mr. Cullen feels like it, he might take a picture with one or two of them. How'd you recognize him anyways?"

"I…didn't. He came up to me, started talking to me…" I held on the passes tightly. I was getting the feeling this Alice girl didn't like me.

"He came up to _you_?" Her voice reached a new high, an accusing new high. "Well what did he say to you?"

"He asked me my name. That's all." I took a slow, tiny step back.

"Mr. Cullen wanted to know your name?" Alice said this very slowly, she seemed to be thinking about it for a moment, then her eyes rested on mine, and she smiled at me, "Mr. Cullen wanted to your name?" Her smile got brighter and brighter at me.

"Yes." I smiled back politely. This girl was weird; I better get out of here. I took another step backward, "Well…thank you…"

Alice laughed at me again, only this time, it sounded joyful, "You're welcome Bella…and I should be the one thanking you…Mr. Cullen wanted to know your name…" She was back to talking to herself, laughing…not even looking at me anymore…so I made a quick beeline out of there and heading back towards the race car driving game. I couldn't wait to show Jake what I had in my hands…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"Who was that?" Jasper was on me like white on rice the second I stepped back into the lounge.

"Her name is Bella." I was still smiling like an idiot, and I plopped myself down on one of the oversized chairs that faced the TV.

"Do we know her? I don't recognize her. Alice looked ready to pop when you didn't come back right away."

Jasper purposely stood in front of me, blocking my view.

"You don't know her, and I'm still getting to know her…" I mentally fought with myself right there…I wanted to tell him everything…how I felt, but something told me to keep quiet. To wait.

"What's that mean?" Jazz did this little hop in front of me, waving his hand around, "You're all still getting to know her? How do we all know her?"

"Her name is Bella?" Emmett had been sitting quietly in the corner playing solitaire the entire conversation, his words made both Jasper and I turn sharply towards him.

"Yes, Bella." I said her name again; I really liked saying her name.

"She was pretty." Emmett didn't take his eyes off his cards…he kept right on playing, "Her eyes are very nice…she looks just like the girl you sing about…the one in _Broken_…"

And suddenly I couldn't wait for this concert to be over…

* * *

><p><strong>Please please please (I'm begging here) drop me a review...I promise to reply to all of them!<strong>

**Hope to hear from you soon! Hugs!  
><strong>

**MBella**


	5. Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not

**Hello again everyone! Happy Friday! Don't forget to wear Green tomorrow! **

**Song of the day: Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not by Thompson Square  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, I own all the country goodness.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>And tomorrow...you won't believe it...<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I can't remember ever wanting to step out onto that stage so badly. My fingers flexed and stretched in anticipation of running out under the bright lights. I stood backstage, almost in the dark, trying to peek over the shoulders of the various crew workers who you could see were getting annoyed with me, they kept trying to step around me as they fiddled with the cameras, and sound wires, and all the other stuff that was crammed backstage. They didn't say anything to me, but kept starring at me with questioning eyes and confusion. I had never...ever...stood backstage before a concert..._ever_. I usually hung out in the lounge, fine tuning my guitar, or playing some mindless game on my cell phone...

I couldn't help it, I wanted to see her...see where she was at. See her face, see the excitement in hers eyes, and maybe the anticipation. I bet she was all lit up like a million twinkling stars. The urge overpowered any self control I possessed, I didn't even try to fight it.

So I kept hovering over the crew, trying to sidestep them politely, but not really. I think a few finally complained to Alice, because before I knew it, she was at my side, trying to coax me back to the lounge.

"Edward, what are you doing here? Come on, let's go back with Jasper and Emmett, they are practicing a few scales in the lounge." She looped her arm through mine, trying to pull me with her.

My body refused to budge from its spot, so Alice tugged harder.

I didn't want to leave, but in the back of my mind I knew I should get out of the way, the integrity of the show depended on this crew, they needed the space to work, I was compromising that.

So I let Alice lead me back, but not before turning my head around and looking behind me one last time, my eyes scanning the crowd, trying to focus on the blur of waving arms and masses of bodies that looked so far away. I knew the second row shouldn't be hard to find, but I guess I never really looked very hard at the crowds that came to watch me perform before, because everyone blended in together so easily, it was almost impossible to separate the sea of faces.

"It's okay Edward," Alice's voice broke through my thoughts as we walked back down the darkened hall to the lounge, "She's out there, I saw her...second row...front and center...when you walk out, you won't be able to miss her..." her voice got quiet as we took a few more steps.

My mind started racing, I'm not sure from excitement or from getting caught...either way, I couldn't form a thought in reply, but Alice didn't seem to mind my silence. Right before we opened the lounge door though, she turned to me,

"Just don't get all caught up in her and screw up the show." her voice held a slight teasing warning, "You're going to see her backstage afterwards..._right_?"

I let out a small chuckle, nodding my head, and pulling the door open, I didn't tell her what I was thinking...planning...but really...I had no idea how I was _not_ going to be able to get all caught up in her...hell...I think I already was...

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

The thumping of the music around me seemed to match my heartbeat. Everyone was on their feet, clapping and swaying to the music, me included. The atmosphere was completely contagious, and it felt so surreal, like an out of body experience.

I was really enjoying the opening act. A cute couple called Thompson Square, they sang the sweetest songs, and looked so perfect together. They bounced around the stage, engaging in the audience, encouraging us to have fun. I was...I really was...but...

I was just so anxious...to see _him_.

Jake stood next to me, his hands in the air, clapping to the music. He was so excited when I showed him the backstage passes, he couldn't believe that Edward Cullen was out mingling in the crowd, although he did say a few fans tweeted that they swore they had seen him walking the grounds, but the radio always claimed that to be a rumor.

It didn't seem to faze Jake that Edward had come up to me, he simply thought I was in the right place at the right time.

The roar of the crowd jerked me back to attention. Thompson Square was waving goodbye to us, and I knew it would be only minutes now before Edward would step out onto that stage.

I watched with childlike fascination as the workers quickly set up band equipment around the stage. There was even a rolling rack brought out to the far right of the stage that held at least seven or eight gleaming guitars. I briefly wondered if Edward was going to play every single one of those?

"Brace yourself." Jake shouted over the noise, "Everyone is going to go crazy."

We could almost feel the surge of the crowd behind us, just this electrical current running through all the people.

I nodded at him, feeling my body stiffen with anticipation, the hairs on the back of my neck tingling. I couldn't blame the crowd for going crazy, I felt like being a little crazy myself.

Everything went pitch black in the next second, you couldn't see anything, not even your hand in front of your face, the entire venue went dark. It made the crowd quiet down for a moment, but that's how long it lasted...a moment, because within seconds, a grey smokey mist began to swirl around our heads, and then a sudden bright, sharp light blinded us all at the same time, along with this thunderous booming sound. By the time our eyes could focus again, you could already hear the beginning's of Edward's music, the white lights shining directly on his bright green guitar, his long slim fingers, those tight jeans, immediately capturing everyone's attention.

At first all we could really see was his dark grey signature cowboy hat, it covered his face, since he was looking down at his hands. His button down plaid shirt had some sort of sequins or something on it, because whenever he turned his body to the side, you could literally see him shine.

The screaming was loud, so loud that it took me a few seconds to realize that I was screaming right along with everyone else...I couldn't help it... the minute the lights shone on Edward, I lost it. He just looked so amazing...so electric, his hands flew over the guitar in blazing speed, his head tilted just slightly down.

My hands rose in the air all on their own, I was already swaying to the familiar rhythms and beats, my face must have held the biggest smile. I was already thinking that this night couldn't get better, that I couldn't feel any happier than I was right now, but I thought too soon, because he suddenly lifted his head, his cowboy hat tilting upwards, he took a step forward getting close to the microphone, his mouth opening to greet us.

But then, without even searching, as if he already knew where I was, he looked straight at me...or at least that's what it felt like...it sent a shuddering white hot flame through my body, and then he grinned at me, this real broad, boy-like, grin and he yelled out...

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"Are ya all ready to have a good time tonight?" I let my accent really show in my voice as I shouted out to the crowd. I found her...she was where Alice said she would be...front and center, and I knew the minute I stepped out onto the stage that this was going to be one of the best concerts I would ever give, because tonight I was aiming to impress her...to thrill her...to get her so excited, that she wouldn't want to leave...

The crowd roared back at me in response. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face, I was on a high. I didn't take my eyes off of her. She was smiling back at me, her hands in the air. Her smile was so contagious, so sincere, that I practically struggled with myself at these newfound feelings. Just seeing her made me want to play harder, sing better, smile bigger...fuck, it was just so overwhelming.

"Thanks for coming on out and hanging with us tonight, Port Angeles!" I raised my guitar in the air with one hand making the crowd go crazy again.

But I couldn't keep fighting with myself any longer because Emmett was already banging his sticks together, shouting out, "One two three!"

Both Jasper and I flew into routine, moving all around the stage, motivating the crowd to stay on their feet. Switching sides so that everyone would have a chance to see us.

Jasper loved to tease the crowd, sometimes running back and forth with his hand stretched out, letting a few lucky fans touch him. And it just fueled the fire...kept the crowd on their toes.

We finished the set back to back, right in the center of the stage, and as the final notes of that first song fell over the audience, I looked at her again, she was still smiling at me, her eyes all bright, her hair tumbling around her shoulders.

There was something in the way she was looking at me...it made me catch my breath...that look. I hadn't seen someone look at me like that in so long. Her eyes were just so large, so beautiful, and so full of _pride_.

It really sent me into a whirlwind. I don't think I felt a step I took in the entire night. Every strum of my guitar was for her...every word of my songs was for her...every beat of my heart...was hers...

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

He commanded the stage and audience in a way I had never seen anyone do before. We were all hypnotized under his spell. I watched with awe as he and his bandmate moved all around the stage, they were totally rocking the house down. Even the male fans were yelling and cheering.

Every step he took, every gesture he made...every word out of his mouth, captivated me. It felt like a trance...some crazy fantasy dream, I couldn't shake it.

And what was even worse is that it felt like he was doing it all for me...his eyes, they always seemed to be catching mine, his body somehow always tilted in my direction, even when he was across the stage, and his lyrics...those were the hardest, because everything he said went directly to my heart.

I couldn't help it, or even try to stop it. I just kept right on watching him, right on admiring him...his talents...his beauty.

And he sang, song after song, with that deep amazing voice, as the minutes ticked by I found myself singing right along with him, feeling connected to him somehow, letting myself get lost in the music, in the sound of his voice, in his eyes.

His talents were beyond incredible. He played every single one of those guitars on the rack, often throwing his guitar picks out into the audience at random. I kept hoping he would throw one my way, but he never did. It didn't bother me though, I was completely content to stand there, to sing out-loud...never taking my eyes off of him.

I tried to memorize him as he ran back and forth along the stage...studying everything that I could see...even the smallest things. His whiskered jeans fit him like a glove in all the right places, making him look incredible. He wore a tan leather belt with this silver buckle that wasn't too flashy, in fact, he seemed so down to earth, as if he were just a regular guy.

My eyes would focus on his fingers, they were long and tan as they flew over his guitars. My gaze didn't miss the gold band on his left hand, it looked beautiful and was probably oh so expensive. It wasn't the only jewelry he wore. On his neck hung a simple chain with a silver type of dog tag style pendant. It didn't catch the light very well so I couldn't get a good look at it.

His shirt was button down, it was mostly grey but had these flecks of green running through it. His top three buttons were undone but you could only see his collarbone, nothing else, yet it still looked amazing on him, and absolutely perfect.

Of course his face was every girl's fantasy. Beautiful mesmerizing green eyes...perfect light tan skin...a jawline that my fingers itched to trace. He sported just a little bit of stubble on his chin, it made him look all man...rugged...exactly the way you would picture a tough country boy, but whenever he smiled...you could see it...the little boy in him...the twinkle in his eyes...the hint of mischievous in him.

It was his smile...that's was made him the complete package...and I'd be lying if I said that package wasn't gorgeous...

Time was going by too fast for me. Even though I knew I would see him backstage, I didn't want him to stop singing. I'd probably never get to see him sing live again, I just wanted him to keep going, keep being that wonderful person I saw on stage, I didn't wan't this night to end...

But eventually it had to...after two hours of amazing music, the audience could tell, and so could I, that our night was coming to an end by the first slow notes of Edward's number one love ballad.

He stood in the circle of a spotlight, all by himself, in the center of the stage. Just him and his guitar. Everything else was dark around him, dark around us, making him look like the only one in the world. He sang about falling in love...meeting the perfect girl...confessing his feelings for her...giving everything he had to her...

I could only just stand there, one hand placed over my heart as he sang, the emotion in his beautiful voice just swirling all around me. The ache in his words as he sang about losing her...I could feel my heart actually hurting...it was just all so much...so much feeling.

When he finally finished, he stood there quietly for a moment, looking down at the floor...in the circle of that spotlight...he seemed to be thinking...or maybe just catching his breath, I'm not sure...then he grabbed his microphone stand and placed it to one side, raising one hand in the air as if to say goodbye to us.

We were all cheering and clapping for him, me included. I wish he knew how proud I was...what I was feeling...

I didn't have much time to make sense of anything that happened next...it was almost as if I was watching it play out in slow motion, as a bystander...so unreal...

Edward walked right up to the edge of the stage and knelt down on one knee.

His actions set off complete chaos in the audience...it seemed as if all the fans scrambled in excitement, surging forward to get closer to the stage...to get to Edward.

The movement pushed me forward...literally. I could feel my arms spray out for balance, my body moving erratically as I got swept along with the crowd. Once I found my footing again, I looked up...

I must have looked a bit of a mess...my breathing heavy...I could feel wisps of my hair draping my forehead and cheeks, and I'm sure the look on my face was one of a woman completely dazed and even frightened...but I looked up...

Right into the eyes of the man kneeling before me...

He was looking right at me, a mixture of emotions seemed to flash across his face, and with all the screaming around me, the girls all flinging their arms out to him, I wondered it I was the only one who could see it there...see it in his eyes...it looked like worry...concern...even anguish...

But when our eyes locked...and I was still standing...surrounded by strangers...

He smiled...

There was that little boy again...he smiled...right at me...and stretched out his hand...in my direction.

The girls all around me tried to grab at him...at his hand, but he kept moving it out of their grasp...still reaching for me...

I'm sure I was shaking...and it felt like hours, but it must've been only seconds, I was finally stretching my arm out to him...reaching for him too.

His grip was firm, tight even...I didn't know what he was going to do. An insane thought flashed through my mind that he was literally going to pull me up on stage with him. But he didn't, he just held on tight until the people around us realized he had picked me...their arms finally falling away, they too were waiting to see what he was going to do.

I just kept my eyes on that smile...trying to keep my heart rate in check.

He didn't say anything to me...to the audience, all he did was reach up with his free hand and grab that beautiful grey hat off his head...

I could hear the cheering all around me, but I couldn't focus on it...

It was warm...as it encircled my head. It was warm from him wearing it all night as he sang...only now, it was on my head...on me...

He placed it gently on my head, giving my hand a squeeze as he did it.

My free hand automatically went straight up, reaching for the top of my head, protecting my new prized possession. No one tried to take it from me, but my instincts were to guard this gift with my life.

When he finally let go of my hand I was at loss for words...all I could do was mouth thank you...thank you...over and over again. My actions just made him smile bigger, and then with great flourish, he stood up, backed up a few steps over the middle of the stage again...and then, with a broad wave and bow, he said goodbye...and walked off the stage...

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I thought I was going to be anxious to get the singing over with...to get the concert over with...but I wasn't.

With every song I sang, I could see her...singing right along with me...and fuck if that didn't tear me up inside. She knew every word.._.every word_...and the way she was moving to the music, I could tell she was feeling it.

I kept singing...kept moving around...kept catching her eye. I already knew what I was going to do by the time we reached our last three songs. The idea popped into my head as I was throwing out guitar picks to the crowd.

One of my favorite things to do was throw out guitar picks. It was almost comical, the reaction it would bring out in the folks. Several of them would all huddle together, trying their damnedest to be the one to catch it, often toppling over one another.

I really wanted to throw one to her.._.really_, but I didn't...I couldn't, because I wouldn't be able to just stand there and watch those fans swarm all over her in their haste to catch the pick. I didn't want to ruin her evening in any way, so I somehow found the restraint to keep from throwing in her direction.

Still...it bugged me...so in the midst of singing, in the middle of the chorus, the idea came to me. I don't know how many country stars do this, I know several of them do, give away things at concerts.

I followed the steps of my good pal Brad Paisley, he always gives away the hat he wears during his concerts to one of the fans, usually a child or young teen that might be lucky enough to be in the front. Brad is smarter than me obviously, he plans this out real well, had Stetson design a cheaper version of his trademark white cowboy hat. Those are the hats he wears during concerts, his original designed hat is reserved for awards shows, or other non concert events.

But since my plan was coming off the top of my head, _literally_, Alice was just going to have to suck it up that I was going to hand over a two thousand dollar hat in a blink of an eye.

It wasn't easy, I tell you. It actually took me a few seconds to get my act together...work up the courage.

Like I said before, I always kept my distance between me and the fans. This was going to be different. I was going to put myself out there...and I hesitated...

But the pull to her was to great, and it overshadowed anything else I was feeling at the moment. So as I stood there in that small circle of light, right after my last song finished, I just kept taking these deep breaths, trying to prepare myself for the chaos that I knew was about to happen.

I pulled on my guitar strap, sliding the guitar so that it moved behind me, resting on my backside. I gripped the microphone stand probably harder than I should have and got it out of the way. The crowd was still clapping...they knew that was the last song. The sound felt wonderful in my ears, and that's what gave me the last push I needed. I raised my hand in the air as if to say thank you and goodbye.

And then I stepped forward, all the way to end of the stage, and knelt on one knee. The spotlight followed me, and since I was at the edge, the light shone on the audience's faces that were closest to me.

She was already looking up at me...all breathless and wide eyed. The crowd had swept her up in their excitement, took her by surprise, I could tell. It almost made me flinch, just the thought that she might have gotten hurt, but I shook that off as well as I could and reached for her, stretching my arm out into the fans, taking that risk...

The women were like vultures, all screaming and trying to grab at my arm and hand. I kept moving it out of their reach, still reaching for her, trying to tell her with my eyes that it was okay for her reach back, that this was for her.

It wasn't until I smiled at her that she understood. Her face suddenly brightened and she stretched her arm back at me, her beautiful soft fingers extending in my direction.

I held onto her tightly, squeezing her hand to let her know she needed to be ready, and the way she was clinging to my palm gave me the impression she knew something crazy was about to happen.

So without anymore hesitation I pulled my hat off my head and gently placed down over hers. We only had the spotlight shining down on us, but her smile could have lit up the entire venue. She raised her free hand and covered the hat on her head protectively. She looked just beautiful...completely amazing...her eyes all excited, she was mouthing t_hank you thank you_ standing there with my hat on her head, it made my heart leap just looking at her.

I didn't want any more attention drawn to her, didn't want her to get hurt. So I sprung back up on my feet, letting her go, and ran over to the center of the stage again, the spotlight following my every move, leaving her back in the darkness.

So that the crowd would take their eyes off of her, I raised my hand in the air again, capturing their attention, waving goodbye, giving them a bow of thanks, and walked off the stage...the cheering and clapping echoing behind me...reminding me that this was most definitely one of the greatest concerts I had ever given...

I handed the guitar I was wearing over to one of the crew, heading back towards the hallway.

"Wow..." That's all the Alice could get out as I brushed right by her, her eyes were flashing with a million questions, her hands up near her face, I didn't give her a chance to tell me anything else. I needed to get back to the lounge, needed to talk to Jasper and Emmett before I saw her again.

"Hell of a night man." Jasper looked really pleased, he was leaning against the far wall, a beer bottle in his hand.

"Yeah, it was cool," I glanced around the room. "Where's Em? I need to talk to you guys."

"What about?" Jasper took another swig from his drink, "Em's coming. You wanna head back to the bus?"

I shook my head, "No, I'm gonna meet some fans, I need you guys to do me a favor. A big favor."

Jasper raised his eyebrows at me in question, "You're gonna meet some fans?" He said this in disbelief, shaking his head a little, "what do you want us to do? Hold em back?"

I chuckled at him, heading for the small refrigerator and grabbing a water bottle, "No, there's no holding anyone back, I need you to occupy one of em...show them around a little bit."

Now Jasper frowned at me, "You want me to do what? Who's this? Alice doesn't want me hanging around with chicks after the shows...you know that."

"It's not a girl...isn't it Eddie?" Emmett's voice made it's appearance before he entered the room. He stood by the doorway watching us both with knowing eyes.

I half nodded, trying to think of the quickest way to make this all sound legit. Emmett didn't wait for me, he just strolled right into the room, raising his hand with a dismissing wave, he turned to look at Jasper, "Eddie needs us to show a fan around, I bet this guy would be interested in seeing our equipment...maybe tour the bus?"

It took Jasper a few seconds until the light went on in his eyes, he nearly choked on his beer when he got it, he turned to look at me with this great big assed grin, "Oh yeah Eddie...no problem...I see...don't worry, Em and I got this."

I just chuckled again, I wanted to tell them then...everything...but Alice chose that moment to walk in the room.

"Umm...what's going on here?" She looked around at all of us in suspicion, focusing on me, "Well? Nevermind, we have to deal with our backstage visitors in a few minutes. Andy from ground crew says he has them. Do you want me to bring them here?" Alice went on still staring at us in question, at least until she finally couldn't keep it to herself anymore...

"I can't believe you gave her your hat...I mean really...wow...you're lucky I always keep a backup in case we lose one or something...now I have to call in for another one...that's going to take at least a week to get here...are you planning on doing this from now on? If that's the case I need to get a contract redesigned..."

I picked up my hand trying to stop her before she got ahead of herself, "It's okay...Alice...it's okay, you don't need to do that. I'm not planning to make this a habit...I just wanted to try it, you know...just once..."

"Just once huh?" Alice wasn't buying it, her hands at her hips, "What are planning to tell the guy she came with?"

"I'm not planning to tell him anything..." I started, but Jasper cut in before I could finish.

"It's okay babe..." he reassured Alice, walking over to her and grabbing her hand, "Em and I can take care of this...why don't you go over to our dressing room and relax...this shouldn't take long."

Alice just frowned at him, "I think I should be here."

"No...you're tired...you already worked too hard tonight. We're just going to have our picture taken with a couple of fans, no big deal." Jasper was already ushering her out of the lounge. She went reluctantly, but not before turning around to point at me...

"You're not taking her to your dressing room, are you? You're not planning to sl..."

"No Alice..." I cut her off, "I'm _not_ going to do that." And I wasn't...but Alice's words had already created a scenario in my head, and the image of Bella draped across the sofa in my dressing room moaning lightly underneath me flashed across my brain. I tried to shake it off which Alice took for more confirmation that I wasn't going to sleep with her...

Jasper snorted, trying to hide his laugh, "Hell if that would ever happen..." he pulled Alice away down the hall...

* * *

><p>I was more nervous now than I was before the concert, checking myself on the wall mirror for the umpteenth time, trying to smooth down some of my crazy hat hair. I could hear the sounds of the hustle and bustle around me as the crew broke down the set...boxing it up, getting it ready to load. Andy was going to bring Bella in any minute, Jasper and Emmett were already out there with them...talking to them...and I hoped it would work.<p>

So I waited a little longer, shoving my hands in my pockets so I wouldn't fiddle mindlessly.

Finally Andy appeared at the doorway. "Mr. Cullen?"

I swung around to face him...he was alone.

"Yes?" I raised my eyebrows in question.

"Your guest...she's waiting for you..." he nodded at me.

"Thanks Andy...and she's...waiting..._alone_?" I cocked my head to the side.

"Yes of course," Andy looked really uncomfortable, and awfully curious, "Mr. Hale and Mr. McCarty took the other guest out back."

"Thank you Andy, that's all I need to know." I dismissed him before he could ask any questions.

I checked myself in the mirror one more time, taking in a deep breath. She was waiting for me in my dressing room, alone...just like I requested. And I needed her alone...if this was going to play out the way I hoped, she needed to be alone with me. Just me and her...so that I could talk to her...try to convince her...

And I didn't know how much convincing I was going to have to do, but I knew I didn't have a lot of time. Jasper and Em could only keep him for so long...so without anymore hesitation I walked out of the lounged and headed to my dressing room whispering a little prayer that this was going to work...because if it didn't...well...no, I wouldn't let myself even consider that it wouldn't work...it just had to...

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><p><strong>Alright ya' all, I will try my very damndest not to make you wait a month for the next chapter. I have already started work on it, promise.<strong>

**As always, I love hearing from you! Don't forget to review!  
><strong>

**Much love and hugs!**

**MBella**


	6. Keep Me in Mind

**Yay! I'm back early! I promised I wouldn't keep you waiting! :D**

**This is just the beginning folks, we're in for a wild ride after this...**

**Song of the day: _Keep Me in Mind_ by Zac Brown Band**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, I own all the country goodness.  
><strong>

**Enjoy!**

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><p><em><strong>Rock you strong in these arms of mine...<strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

"Please follow me..."

I walked behind this very large and burly guard down the dimly lit hallway, he strode briskly in front of me, turning his head to the side every now and then, checking to see if I was keeping up with him.

My stomach was in knots, mostly because I didn't know what to expect. Jake had gone off happily with two of the other members of Edward's band, he practically jumped up and down when the drummer asked him if he would like to go out to the back and actually play some of their instruments.

I was going to go along with them, but the other band member, the one who played the guitar next to Edward, told me to wait, that they could only take one person at a time back there.

I was immediately disappointed since I thought Edward would be back there for sure, but I nodded and smiled, urging Jake to go on ahead. Not that he needed encouraging, he totally left me in the dust, much to my chagrin.

So I stood there, next to this burly guard who wouldn't talk to me, although he kept looking at me out of the corner of his eye. Probably making sure I didn't try to steal anything...

Suddenly his walkie talkie thing, that he had attached to his belt, made this rapid beeping noise. He yanked it off his belt in a hurry and brought it to his ear, pressing one of the buttons and listening to it intently. Then without saying anything, he clipped it back to his belt and said,

"Please follow me..."

The hallways were quiet, I wondered where all the people were, where Edward was...

Finally the guard stopped at a plain paneled door, he took his keyring out of his pocket and slid one of the keys into the door lock. It opened easily, he swung the door out and stepped to the side, indicating that I could enter first.

The room was empty, just a large black suede sofa backed up along the far end of the wall, a really big mirror hanging over what looked like a desk. The desk was bare, nothing on top of it. I did see a flat panel screen tv hanging up near the ceiling, I had no idea why anyone would put it there, but I didn't question it.

I expected the guard to come inside with me, so when he began to close the door behind him, leaving me in there by myself, it startled me and I started walking back towards him.

"It's okay Miss..." The guard paused and brought up his hand to stop me, he nodded his head giving me a short, polite smile, "This is Mr. Cullen's dressing room, Mr. Cullen will be right in."

The words _dressing room _and _Mr. Cullen_ made me freeze in my tracks, the door closed swiftly, leaving me more nervous than I already was.

My mind began spinning with anxiety. I stood in the center of the room, both my hands were clasped tightly together, mostly in disbelief.

The only thing I could hear seemed to be the thumping of my heart as I glanced around the room with new eyes, knowing this was Edward's dressing room. I always imagined a star would have something quite more luxurious than what I was looking at.

It dawned on me that this was most likely just a generic dressing room, that every star who preformed here used this room.

Slowly I made my way over to the sofa and sat down carefully. At first I crossed my legs, smoothing my dress carefully over one knee, and then decided that was too relaxed and casual, so I uncrossed them, bringing my knees together and angling my legs in the same direction, placing my hands in my lap. This pose was a little easier to hold.

Then I just waited...and wondered...if anyone was ever going to walk through that door...and finally...after what seemed like forever...I heard the doorknob turn...

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

She was sitting on that sofa...the one I already fantasized her on...looking so demure...so innocent...and so devastatingly gorgeous. My hat was still resting on the top of her head, and I swear it looked better on her than it ever did on me.

She was looking down at her hands when I first walked in, but her head swayed up almost instantly, her eyes big and bright. It took all of my restraint not to just walk right up to her and pull her in my arms, bring my lips down over hers, just to feel her next to me.

Instead I smiled at her, "Miss Bella, I'm so happy you made it backstage. Did you enjoy the concert?"

Her smile was so alive, so alluring, I almost forgot what I was here for.

"It was amazing..." she breathed, her voice light and excited, "You were amazing..."

I just chuckled, letting her words of praise wash over me, "Thank you, it's the audience that brings that out in me." I walked over to the sofa but didn't sit down next to her, I needed to keep this friendly and professional...at least for now.

I pulled the folding chair that was leaning against the far corner of the sofa over so that I was directly across from her. I sat down casually, letting my elbows rest on my knees, leaning forward as if we were old friends.

"Oh!" Her hand suddenly flew to the top of her head, resting on my hat, "Thank you so much for the hat...really...I was...was...speechless...you're incredible...really."

I smiled again and nodded, "You're very welcome. It was my pleasure." I wanted to reach out and touch her bare knee, her white dress had some kind of fancy trim on the hem, it tortured me...called at me. Trying to avert my eyes, I lifted my head and ran my hand through my hair, she seemed fascinated by my movement, her eyes never leaving my hand.

"I have to ask..." I tried to lean back into my chair, but if felt too far away from her, so I kept right on leaning forward...leaning into her, "Are you from Port Angeles? Do you live here?"

Her eyes brightened and her head tilted to the side, I could see her body relaxing at such a simple question.

"No...I live nearby...small town...called Forks." She waited...waited to see if I knew anything about her town...I didn't.

"I love small towns." I kept the conversation going...it needed to start this way...stay this way, "I grew up in a small town myself."

"Really?" She was genuinely interested, I could hear it in her voice, "You did?"

I nodded at her, "My parents still live there, I go back and visit them often. I live in Nashville now."

"Wow..." she breathed softly.

"So what do you do in Forks Miss Bella? Let me guess...are you a model?" I teased. With her looks, it wouldn't have surprised me if she said yes.

She gave out a short laugh shaking her head no, her eyes were all lit up again with merriment, "A model?' She giggled, "Um...no. I'm a teacher...a preschool teacher..."

My heart leaped to my throat at her words, "A teacher?" I know she could hear the disbelief in my voice, I couldn't hide it...it took me by surprise...I expected her to say something else..._anything else_...I don't even know what...but the word teacher...it made absolute sense that this beautiful sweet, gem of a woman, would work with children. It was beyond precious to me...

"Yes..." she looked hesitant at first, at my tone, but she kept going, "I'm studying to become a real elementary teacher...that won't happen for a few years yet...but I love working with kids..."

I was infatuated with her, at who she was...what she did..."I can see it now..." I didn't even try to hide the pride in my voice, "I bet you're the most amazing teacher...those children are lucky...but really...are you _sure _you're not a model? Maybe in your free time?" I let it hang there...my last words.

She chucked at me again, "No...I promise, I'm not a model."

"That's too bad...because you'd be perfect..." Again, I let it hang...

"Perfect for what?" her head tilted to the side, I could see she was trying to figure it out, and I needed her to be confused...to stay confused, so that she would listen carefully to every word I was going to say next...

I decided it was now or never.

I leaned even closer to her, clasping my hands together and trying to put on the most serious expression I could, "I have a proposition for you Miss Bella...I know it's going to sound farfetched, but I promise you, it is real..."

She looked almost frightened at my words, so I quickly went on... "There's a song that I've been working on, with my band, it's almost complete...we'd like to make a video for it...but we need the right girl...one who could bring the story alive...and I think that girl is you...I _know_ that it's you..."

She didn't say a word, but her breath hitched and both her hands fell from her lap and gripped the sofa cushions tightly. I kept right on talking, didn't give her a chance to do anything but listen...

"Normally we hire out...professional actresses...women who have done this before...but I don't want to go that route with this song...this song is special to me, and I want the video to be unique...with someone real...someone just as special as this song, someone who hasn't done this time and time again..." I said all this slowly...carefully, watching her eyes.

She was so full of disbelief...frozen. I hadn't expected this...the frozen part...but it hit me...how real she was...any other woman would have already thrown themselves in my lap screaming yes...she _wasn't_...

"I'd like _you_...I'd like to offer the job to you...is that something you might be interested in?" My voice was firmer now...I was ready to argue with her if she turned me down.

"_Me_? But..hu...how?" She shook her head at me, her voice soft and full of doubt, "How would all this work?"

"It's not very complicated..." I tried to explain calmly, rationally, tried not to get too excited, get too ahead of myself, "You'd spend about two weeks with me...up in Nashville...we'd rehearse...and then film it...nothing too difficult." I kept watching her eyes...waiting for some kind of sign...

"I'm...uh...I..."

It was almost there...in her eyes...I could see it, I pressed further, "You would be paid of course..." I was using everything I had, anything I had, to make her say yes, "Paid very generously...you'd have a contract, and after the video comes out, hey, you might be famous." I smiled at her, teasing her just a little bit.

She laughed...and that beautiful laugh...it broke the ice, erased the tension from her face and eyes.

"When? When would this happen?" She leaned forward, not a lot, just slightly, but it was enough to send relief flooding through me.

"Probably not for a few weeks yet, a contract would be sent to you first, so you could look it over..." I paused, searching her face for a definite answer. She looked up at me, still doubtful, but clearly excited. "What do say Miss Bella?" I cocked my head to the side and stretched out my hand to her, "Can I welcome you on my team?"

And just like that, her face lit up...she sat up straighter, and flashed me this great big smile. "Oh..." she breathed, "This feels so unreal...but if this _is_ real, Mr. Cullen, I'd love to be on your team." Her hand trembled as she held it out to me.

"Please Miss Bella, call me Edward, Mr. Cullen is my father." Her hand was so warm, so soft... "And I assure you, this is _very_ _real_."

"Oh my gosh..." her body was bouncing a little bit now...on the sofa...it distracted me, and I couldn't help it anymore...

Still holding onto her hand I rose up from my chair, she followed suit, rising up next to me, looking up into my face with those round, sparkling eyes. She was so full life...energy...it took my breath away. I pulled on her hand gently, making her take a step towards me, she was already close...so close...

Her boot landed between of my boots...that bare sexy leg was nestled in the center of my own legs, I could feel it as it brushed by my jeans, almost making me groan out loud. She gave out this little _oh_ sound...it sounded the way someone would say excuse me...but it didn't thwart me from letting go of her hand, or spreading my arms out around her.

I know she mistook it for a congratulatory hug, or a thank you for coming hug...something like that...and I let her...because all I wanted at that moment was to savor the feeling of having this woman pressed against me...of feeling her arm glide up near my shoulder...of feeling the soft skin of her cheek brush against my own. I don't know if she noticed or not, and at the moment I didn't fucking care, I just lowered my head into the back of her neck...breathing in her scent, letting my hand touch the silkiness of her hair falling down her back. I savored it all...in that short moment.

I wanted to tighten that hug...let my hand run down her back and over her bottom...run my hands under that silky white dress and over her bare thighs, the urge was overwhelming.

Her body never relaxed in mine...I could feel her hand and arm around my shoulder one moment and then next it seemed to just be patting me stiffly...it sent me hurtling back to reality...further proof that she wasn't mine...

Our hug was brief...quick...and all it did was leave me wanting more...

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

This was a dream...definitely a dream. There was no way Edward Cullen would offer me a job in real life...no way...

But that beautiful image of a man didn't fade away before my eyes. He kept right on sitting across from me, smiling at me, telling me that he wanted me..._me._..to be in his video.

I was just stunned...completely stunned. I don't know how I found my voice to answer him...how I formed a single word in our entire conversation. I kept doubting myself...doubting what I was hearing, kept waiting for someone to jump out of the closet or something and yell, _just kidding_!

But then he started saying things like contract...and Nashville...and his team...I could feel this bizarre bubble of excitement well up inside me, and it was all I could do to contain it.

My mind raced over the possibilities...of how I would tell Jake...or my job...and then he said two weeks...two weeks wasn't very long...it would be like a vacation or something. Besides, Jake was going to take that driver job...he would probably be gone anyways.

All those thoughts tumbled and turned around and around in my head as Edward spoke, it didn't help matters that his adorable accent was even more pronounced when he talked than when he sang...or that he kept running his hand through his hair...he really did have the most beautiful hair...I had never seen him without a hat on, even in all those pictures on the internet...sexy, messy, just toppled out of bed from a night of sex hair...it distracted me to no end.

Finally he just waited for me to answer...just kept staring at me with those pretty green eyes, they danced playfully over my own, almost teasing me...

There was no way I could say no...not to those eyes. I'm not even sure I said yes...but then he was shaking my hand, standing up...I got the feeling that our conversation was over...I hoped I had said yes...

I was just so in shock...so bewildered, I could hardly hold myself steady, so when he pulled me forward I had to find my balance quickly, thrusting out my foot to keep me from falling right into him.

It didn't seem to faze him, how close I was to him...he was probably used to it, crazy women who threw themselves at him...I didn't want him to think I was like that, although I was this close to losing it, I tried to straighten myself up, the only sound out of my mouth was this awkward _oh_ sound, I was going to try to explain myself...excuse my clumsiness...but the impact of his body touching mine, as his arms encircled me, made my mind go blank and my knees weak...he just felt _so good_...so warm...

All I could do was breathe...just breathe, and hope that he couldn't feel the crazy beating of my heart.

His body was rock hard...I could feel it...the muscles on his shoulders and arms. My hand itched to slide over his shoulder, to wrap my fingers around the back of his neck. I don't know how I found the strength to just pat him awkwardly on his shoulder as he hugged me, I wanted to clutch him to me tightly, keep him right next to me, but I was just so out of it.

He let me go quickly...too quickly...and no matter what fantasy my mind could conjure, the reality of it was, that he was married...and so was I...

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

At first Alice was pissed...she wouldn't even talk to me the first two hours on the bus. I was actually grateful for that because I wanted to be left alone...so I could dwell in my thoughts, play everything that happened tonight over and over. Bella's face wouldn't leave my mind, and her smile kept flashing through my brain. I purposely pushed everything negative out, focusing only the fact that Bella had said yes to me...that no matter what, if nothing else, I would see her again...and hopefully soon...

That's what Alice was mad about...that I pulled in a complete stranger to our team without consulting her or anyone else...that I possibly put my career in jeopardy. She was probably on the phone right this minute with Seth...trying to figure out how to get out of this.

Luckily both Jasper and Emmett were on my side...I hadn't talked to them yet, about Bella, about how I felt, but they both seemed to sense that she was important to me, and they were sticking by me at the moment.

I spent the better part of bus ride fine tuning this plan in my mind...filling in any gaps that I overlooked. I don't know why, but I wanted to bring her into my life and show her everything...share with her, everything.

So little by little...as the hours slowly passed by...the plan formed...grew...and surpassed anything that I had ever imagined...by the time we reached our next venue, I knew exactly how I wanted this to play out...

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I wasn't sure how I was going to tell Jake...or even if he would believe me. I mean just the fact that Edward had offered me a job was so farfetched that it was practically imaginary.

I let him do all the talking on the drive home after the concert, he was really excited and chattered nonstop about how cool Edward's bandmates, Jasper and Emmett, were. How they showed him all around the grounds, and even played a few notes with him, letting him use Jasper's guitar.

I just nodded and smiled, tried not to interrupt by bursting out with my own news.

I still couldn't shake the doubt...that maybe I imagined all this...that Edward never really said those words...it was so hard to comprehend...that he wanted me..._me_.

"So," Jake finally glanced over at me, "What did you do backstage? Did you ever get to meet Edward Cullen and take a picture? Did he sign your hat?"

Jake's questions just sent my mind into a whirlwind...I was torn between just blurting out everything that happened, and cussing myself out because I _didn't_ get him to sign my hat, or even take a picture...

"I did get to meet him. It was so cool Jake, you're not going to believe it." I was choosing my words carefully, I wanted to get him excited for me...with me...

"Oh yeah? What happened?" He was smiling, still excited himself, at how his night turned out.

"Well that guard took me over to Edward...and Edward...he was so nice to me and friendly...he asked me about myself...and Jake, you're never going to believe what he asked me..."

And Jake didn't believe me at first...

"No way...you're pulling my leg." He shook his head at me chuckling.

"I'm not...it's true...he offered me a job..._me_...a job!" I bounced in my seat trying to convince him that I spoke the truth.

"Doing what? What does he want you to do?" Jake shrugged at me, still thinking I was trying to trick him.

"That's the crazy part," I began, "He says he wants me in his video...can you believe that?"

"His wha...?" Jake didn't take his eyes off the road, but I heard it, in his voice, he realized I wasn't kidding, "Video?"

"Yes!" I nearly clapped, I could see Jake trying blink back his amazement, I could understand completely why he remained speechless, "I know what you're thinking Jake...how can this be real...I mean, I realize he could have just been making everything up..._but_ he said he was going to send me a contract...so if it shows up, then we'll know it's real." I think I was trying to convince myself more than Jake.

"Well hey Bella, if Edward Cullen wants you to work for him, you aren't turning him down right?" Jake chuckled, "Especially if he's paying you a million dollars!" Now he laughed.

I just smacked him on the arm, laughing along with him...

But neither of us were laughing one week later when a cherry red Ford Mustang pulled up in our driveway. That girl...Edward's assistant, Alice something, and a strange man, stepped out carrying a really large bundle of papers, that's when we knew...that this was no joke.

The man, Seth Clearwater, did most of the talking...the girl, Alice, she just sat there at my dining room table and watched me with quiet, observing eyes.

It turns out I was wrong...Edward Cullen didn't want me to be in his video...he didn't want me for two weeks.

No, that's not what Edward Cullen wanted...

He wanted me for a year...to be in _all _of his videos...to spend at least two weeks, every other month, _with him_...in Nashville...or wherever he might be at the moment.

And the amount he was going to pay me...it was outrageous...a number beyond anything Jake and I could ever earn...even together. Jake was in a state of shock, he asked Seth numerous times if this number was true...and each time Seth would nod and smile at Jake and tell him this was just the beginning...

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"Did she sign it?" I looked up from my desk in earnest. I was back home, in my office. We had three days off between sets so I flew back home for a little rest. But there was no rest for me...I spent the better part of the day pacing the wooden floors of the house, wondering if Seth and Alice had been able to convince Bella and her husband to sign that contract.

I even told Seth to up the amount of money as high as he needed to go in order to convince them. Seth promised he would...

"Here," Alice tossed the papers onto my desk, "You can see for yourself..."

I stopped listening to her, already scanning through the pile, looking for the one that would contain her signature.

I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I saw it...her name...written in the most beautiful handwriting...Bella Swan. She had signed it.

I stood up briskly...mostly from excitement...and looked over at Alice, not being able to contain my smile. Alice just watched me for a moment, then she shook her head at me, giving me a worried look,

"Who is she Edward? What is it about her? I've never seen you act like this before."

I just kept right on smiling at Alice, "She's Bella Swan...and as of now, she's exclusively mine..."

"I sure hope you know what you're doing...because this feels like your playing with fire..." Alice placed her hands on her hips. I knew she wasn't happy with me, but I hoped that maybe once she got to know Bella, all this might change.

"I promise Alice, this will in no way jeopardize any of us...not me...you...or Bella. This will be strictly business."

"It sure doesn't feel that way." Alice huffed, turning away from me. "Is the song even finished? This girl is supposed to arrive in a week and a half to shoot a video for a song we haven't even cut yet...a song nobody's heard. Not to mention she's scheduled to arrive right when were going to be in the middle of our stop in Dallas. What are you planning to do with her then?"

I could understand why Alice was so wound up...so concerned...and I wished I could've eased her mind a bit...but that would mean telling her things I wasn't ready to share yet, so I just sort of shrugged at her, giving her this_ I don't know_ look.

"What is it about men that makes them act this way?" Alice threw up her hands in exasperation. "What am I going to do with you?"

She didn't bother to wait for an answer, she turned on her heels and began walking out of the room.

"Thanks Alice!" I called after her, "I owe you one."

"You owe me _way more_ than just one, Edward Cullen!" She called back without turning around, "And you better pray, no one in the media ever finds out about this!"

Even though Alice was right, about everything...I pretty much floated on air the rest of the day. While the song wasn't finished on paper, it was done in my head, and even though no one knew a thing about a video, not my usual director, or sound mixer, I could already see it...see exactly how I wanted it to play out...and the best thing about it...the thing that would make everyone excited...was that I wasn't just going to be the singer on the sidelines this time...no...I was _most definitely_ going to be _in_ this video...with Bella...

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I had no idea what to pack...I just tossed what I thought the best clothes I had, into my carryall last night, so I was pretty much ready to go.

Jake had left two days ago for his new job, he was so excited...about both our new jobs, he encouraged me to have as much fun as possible and enjoy myself. I think he was actually happy that he wasn't leaving me alone all the time...leaving me behind...that we were both starting new adventures, so to speak.

I was still really nervous when the service car arrived at my house to take me to the airport, I had no idea what to expect, and I was glad that I would have some time on the flight to Dallas to calm my nerves and just try to think.

The airport was busy as usual, and it took a bit of time before I made it past security and all the check points.

Much to my surprise or dread, when I finally arrived at the gate, I saw Alice standing there.

No one had told me she would be there. She spotted me easily and picked up her hand in greeting, waving me over to her.

"Hi." I sort of half waved to her, glancing around. We were the only two standing by the gate, and I wondered where all the other passengers were.

"Hi Bella. How are you?" Alice seemed much more friendly from the last two times I had met her. It threw me off, the friendly tone of her voice.

"I'm good...a little nervous..." I gave her a quick smile, and looked around again, "Am I too early?"

"Nope...you're right on time...come on, our gate is this way..." Her words just made me even more confused.

"We're the last ones?" Something wasn't right here...where were the other passengers...where were the flight attendants?

Alice just laughed, "We're the _only_ ones...come on...Mr. Cullen's plane is waiting for us."

I nearly froze, and I'm sure my mouth dropped open, "What? His plane?"

Alice seemed to get a kick out of my reaction, "You really are cute...he's right...come on Bella, he's waiting for us."

But instead of walking faster, I stopped in my tracks. This was already too much...I was going to get on Edward Cullen's plane...he was waiting for us. "You mean in Dallas? He's waiting for us in Dallas, right?"

By now Alice was taking a few steps towards me...closing the distance between us faster. She was smiling though...she looped her arm through mine and tugged me to walk along with her. "Yes...you're getting on Edward Cullen's personal plane...and no...he's not waiting for us in Dallas...he's waiting for you...on the plane..."

I'm sure Alice could see the panic on my face, and I know she could hear my gasp. "He's on the plane?" My words came out panicky and hurried, "But...but...I'm not ready yet..."

Alice just laughed some more, "It's okay...don't worry...he doesn't bite. Besides...he usually spends his plane rides working. He had a few days off before Dallas, so he flew home. Now he needs to catch up on his work. He might not even talk to you...so don't take it personal okay?"

I don't know if Alice just made me panic more...or if it was disappointment that flew through me...but whatever it was, I managed to make it through the tunnel and over to the plane.

The panic washed over me again at the last second, right as I was about to cross over through the doorway, I turned to Alice almost desperately, "Do I look okay?"

She seemed surprised at my outburst, and then giggled to herself. "You look fine...you're very pretty...I like your hair," she comforted me, then she reached into her purse and pulled out a small compact.

"Here," she dusted my nose with a tiny bit of powder, "perfect," she winked at me.

I saw him right away...I didn't even bother to look around the plane...he was sitting a couple of rows away, in a seat by the window, all by himself.

He was looking down at a binder that was sitting in his lap. I can't find the words...he looked...normal...and gorgeous of course...but completely normal. He was wearing plain old jeans and a black tee shirt. He wore a baseball cap on his head, much like the one I saw him with back at the concert. He was holding a pen in one hand, and seemed to be deep in thought.

Alice's words about him working and not even talking to me flashed through my brain, so I turned to her and asked her quickly, "Where should we sit?"

But she didn't answer me, she didn't have time to answer me, because Edward had looked up at both of us at that exact moment.

"Alice...Bella...I'm happy to see you again..." He was rising from his chair, placing his binder down on the seat next to his.

"Hey Ed...uh...Mr. Cullen, I just picked up Bella, would you like us to go on and sit in the back...I can brief her about everything..." Alice quickly corrected herself, and I got the feeling that she hardly ever called him Mr. Cullen.

"That's okay Alice...I know you have other work to attend to...I'll take care of Bella. Why don't you have a seat right here Bella." He pointed to the seat directly across from his.

The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering at full force as I sat down. There were only four chairs here, two and two...facing each other. I was going to have to sit facing Edward the entire flight.

"Thank you." I took a deep breath and sat down carefully, it was no use trying to act like I knew what I was doing, because I didn't.

The butterflies dived again when Alice headed to back by herself, leaving me and Edward alone. I fixed my eyes on the binder sitting next to Edward, pretending to be fascinated with it...but I was really just trying to calm down...trying to think of something to say.

Edward took care of that for me. He sat down across from me with ease, leaning forward in his seat. He had this great big smile on his face and his eyes twinkled at me as if he knew how nervous I was. He reached out and touched my knee with one finger, really brief...quick...and thrilling all the same.

"Thank you for coming," There was that adorable accent again, his touch and his voice sent my mind into a whirlwind, he kept on smiling...kept on talking... "I hope you'll have a great time hanging out with us for the next couple of weeks. I'm usually bored to tears on my plane rides back and forth, but I've been looking forward to this one...tell me about yourself Bella. I want to know everything..."

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I wished I could've been the one waiting for her at the airport gate, hell...I wanted to be in the service car that picked her up...but Alice was right, it might cause a commotion...or worse, scare her.

She already looked frightened when she stepped onto my plane. I had to force myself to keep staring down into my lap...good thing I had my binder with me or else I would've just looked fucking silly.

But even with that frightened look in her eyes...she looked absolutely radiant. Everything I remembered...it was still there...and it still affected me in the exact same way. The moment I set my eyes on her...I wanted her.

I had to force myself to pretend to look up and notice her and Alice standing there...I had to control the urge to jump out of my seat and walk up to her, give her a great big hug and thank her for signing those papers...thank her for changing my life.

I don't know if Alice was trying to keep her away from me or not, but I already knew I needed this woman sitting by my side.

She was nervous...I could tell, but she was tough. She sat down, took a deep breath, and looked up into my eyes. I couldn't control it any longer, I just had to touch her...make sure she was really there.

My hand stretched out, reaching for her before I could give it a second thought. I tried...really...I tried to keep my feelings in check...just gently touching her knee with the tip of my finger, letting it slide ever so lightly along her kneecap.

Just that touch alone made me hard...made me ache. It was all I could do not to yank her in my arms. This wasn't going to be easy.

I knew the plane ride wouldn't be anywhere near long enough so that I could get to know her better...there would never be enough time...I would learn that soon enough...the hours would pass too quickly...so would the days.

And those two weeks...fuck...they would never be long enough...give us enough time...give _me _enough time...

Yeah...I would learn that soon enough...

* * *

><p><strong>Okay...so who's ready to take this ride with me? Drop me a review and let me know! I promise you won't be disappointed.<strong>

**XOXO**

**MBella**


	7. Somebody Like You

**Yay! I'm back! I've resorted to writing in the middle of the night so I can finish up the chapters quicker, lol! I won't keep you waiting...**

**Song of the day:_ Somebody Like You_ by Keith Urban**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, I own all the hot country goodness.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>I'm gonna listen, to that voice of reason inside my head, telling me that we're no good...<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

She sat across from me with those wide brown eyes, watching my every move, her hands placed modestly in her lap. At first she wouldn't say much...answer my questions with a nod of her head, a small smile on her face, her cheeks blushing bright pink. I didn't press her, I'd guessed she would be nervous, and shy, her eyes would dart around the plane, looking for an escape whenever I asked her a new question. But slowly, as the minutes ticked by, she seemed to relax...to smile at me more...to trust me...

She was fascinating, and unbelievably adorable.

To help ease her into talking, I told her a bit about myself...a bit of how I grew up...about my love for music. I even shared with her some ideas I had about new songs. Her eyes seemed to devour my every word, and she listened to me intently, cocking her head to the side, not noticing when her hair would fall over her shoulders, brushing against her cheek.

When I showed her my leather binder, her eyes brightened and sparkled as if she saw a rare gem.

"All your songs are in there?" Her voice was full of wonder, and I was only too happy to share this with her.

"Most of them are...the complete collection is at the studio, and my songwriting team has a copy..." I held out the binder to her, smiling warmly, "Would you like to see it?"

She didn't answer right away, only looked at me all radiant and glowing, "Really? Can I?"

Her face and her voice could have easily brought me to my knees, "Yes of course. The last one...the one called _Broken_...that's the song you are going to be in..." I let the binder slide down onto her lap.

She held out her hands eagerly, but opened it carefully, her fingers gliding slowly down each page...just a featherlight touch...but it spoke volumes to me. She didn't flip through it quickly, like I thought she would...no...she savored it...studied it...not bothering to say anything, just letting her fingers touch my words...touch my thoughts.

When she reached the end...reached _Broken_...there was a change in her breathing, I could see it, her chest rose and fell quicker, and near the end of the song, she held her breath...slowly letting it escape her one word at a time. She seemed to be enraptured with my scribbles and hash marks, and her fingers ran softly over the tiny words along the margins...

That was the first time in my entire life that I got to see, with my own eyes, a reaction to my songs. She didn't know the melodies to _Broken_ yet...all it was to her, were words...but they were powerful enough to make her feel something, and all these emotions seemed to run across her face as she read...

I could feel it at that moment...falling...there was a long way down, and it would probably hurt...but it was already out of my hands...

When she was done and handed my binder back to me, her eyes bore into mine as if she had a million questions to ask me. I had to find someway to change the subject...because I knew I wouldn't be able to stay in control if we kept talking about me...or this song...

So I asked her the most basic questions. Things I already knew about her. I was not the patient type, I had her background checked out probably before she even made it home from the concert that night. I had to know everything I could about her, and I had to know it, _now_...

The file that came back about her was so thin...I thought for sure half her life had to be missing...but then I read it, and smiled through the whole thing.

Now I was hearing her talk about it, and sure enough...both matched up perfectly.

I learned that she lived in the same small town all her life, that she was an only child, that she still talked to her best friend all the time.

I learned that she excelled in school, got fabulous grades...was a perfect role model and a wonderful daughter...

I learned that she loved living in Forks, loved knowing everyone's name, loved taking care of their children at the preschool where she worked.

What the file didn't show me was that she was a beautiful, caring, and compassionate woman. She loved her family, her surroundings, her life...she believed in people easily, I could see the spark in her eyes as she told me about herself, and her little town.

Hearing about her childhood kept me spellbound, her words flowed so seamlessly, creating such a vivid picture in my head...each word she spoke left me wanting more..._needing_ more...

"Sometimes after school, Mrs Cutler would be waiting for us outside when we walked by her store...her and Mr. Cutler were the nicest couple in town, Mr. Cutler would be inside tending the store and she would be outside...sweeping or tidying up...she would always have a treat for us...an ice cream, or a candy bar...so later on, when we were older, as soon as the last bell rang, we would head on over to help her...unpack boxes of merchandise or stock the shelves for them. When she passed away a few years ago almost everyone n town attended her funeral. Now...it's just Mr. Cutler running the store...and even though we are all grown adults, we still show up at different times to see if he needs anything."

I could tell she cared a great deal about these people, her eyes shone brightly with affection as she continued to tell me about them. She had the same look as she told me about her parents...

"I talk to my mom almost everyday, and if we both can make the time, we go have lunch together on the weekends. She spends most of her time volunteering at the retirement home that my grandma once stayed at. I think it holds a lot of memories for her there..." Bella's voice trailed off then...I knew she was lost in thought at the moment...probably thinking about her grandmother.

I just watched her silently, enjoying be able to simply look at her...study her...

We were nearly in Dallas by then...she looked up at me finally..."Saturday's are the best...to visit with my mom...Jake always works on Saturdays..."

My head turned to her sharply. Hearing her say that name out loud jolted me back to reality...and I finally asked her the unspoken question that I'd been shoving to the back of my mind during our flight, I finally asked her about her husband...

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

It took me a while to find my senses. Every time I looked at Edward all my brain would do was holler at me that this was Edward Cullen, famous country music star, sitting in front of me.

I tried avoiding his eyes at first and answering his questions the quickest way possible.

He didn't seem to get annoyed with me...nope, not at all, in fact, the twinkle in his eyes shone brighter and brighter as the minutes ticked by, and his smile would always make my heart jump.

I'm not even aware when it happened...the shift from being completely apprehensive to talking to him as if I'd known him forever.

Maybe it was because he shared with me something I felt was so intimate...so private...I was positive my hands were shaking when he handed me that leather binder completely filled with his music...his words...

The second I opened it I lost myself in it. It was like reading his diary...his personal thoughts. There were words scratched out...and then put back in. There were complete lines and sentences with no endings...and out on the margins were all these lonely single words...simple tiny expressions that didn't seem to fit in anywhere, but yet conveyed the exact emotions of the songs, all the same.

But it wasn't until I read _Broken_...that left me with so many unanswered questions...about him...about his life.

My fingers seemed to burn as they slid over the page. Far off I could hear him tell me that this was song I was going to be in...and for the life of me, I couldn't understand why...

I could tell this song was going to be beautiful...and haunting...and full of love. I could almost hear the music for it...it was just the way the words flowed together, the way they rhymed. I knew this song would be an instant hit for him...because it already was for me...

Still...when I finished reading and looked back up into his eyes I thought I could see it...here was a man who had everything...but looking into his eyes...at that minute...gave me the sense that he felt he had nothing...

He broke our gaze quickly, and before I could ask him anything about his songs...his music...he shifted the conversation away back to me...to my life...

I hope I didn't bore him...as I talked...he didn't look bored, but I knew my life was as simple and dull as his was exciting and full...but that didn't seem to faze him.

So I talked...and talked...as soon it almost felt like I was talking to Jessica..._almost_...

And he wanted to know everything...so I told him about my childhood days, skipping rope at the park...my summers at the lake with my parents...sleeping over Jessica's house during my teen years...working with children at my job...and finally about me visiting my parents, having lunch with my mom. He never interrupted...never broke our gaze...seemed completely, genuinely interested.

"My family's my rock." I smiled at him, tilting my head a little bit, "Since I'm the only child, I always try to find time to spend with my mom. Taking her out to lunch...or shopping. The weekends are usually the best time for us, I work during the week and Mom volunteers at the retirement home my grandma used to stay at...Saturday's are the best...Jake always works on Saturdays..." My voice trailed off...for some reason saying Jake's name out loud sounded weird to my ears, making me uncomfortable all of a sudden.

Edward's smile didn't waver, nor did his body language change...but there was a flicker in his eye, a crash of emotion...or maybe I was just imagining it...but then he asked me...

"Jake is your husband? How long have you two been married?"

And I don't know why...but I didn't want to answer him...I didn't want to talk about Jake.

"Yes..." I forced myself to say politely..."He's my husband, we've been married almost six years..."

Edward still didn't move, he acknowledged my answer with a brief smile, "That's quite an accomplishment...six years..."

I didn't know if he was praising me or not, his voice had changed, not harsh or anything...just sort of flat, and my nervousness had returned, so I just smiled stiffly back at him, trying not to start fiddling with my hands.

"Thank you." My voice sounded like a whisper even though I knew it wasn't. I struggled to think of something else to say...something to change the subject...but my mind was blank.

"What does he do? Your husband?" The flatness to his tone was still there...it was completely perplexing me.

"He works for his uncle's lumber company...and well, he just got a new job...driving...truck driving...he hauls the lumber from place to place. He's somewhere out in Oregon this week..." I was rambling...I could hear it...

But Edward seemed to brighten at my words...he didn't say anything else...but he leaned back into his seat after that, and the affection returned in his voice... "Sounds like he's a hard working man..."

Again, I was thrown off at the tone of Edward's voice, "Yes...yes he is..." was all I could say.

This time it was my turn to break our gaze...I didn't know how to talk about Jake to Edward...how to describe my feelings for Jake...it just didn't feel right, so I glanced out the window, pretending to be interested in the bright blue sky...that's all I could see...just lots and lots of blue.

Edward stayed quiet, but I could still feel his eyes on me. I think he wanted to ask me more about my life...about my husband...but he didn't press further.

The quietness between us didn't last very long, almost on cue, Alice appeared standing at our side.

"Sorry to interrupt, but our plane will touch down in about twenty minutes. Our car is already waiting for us at the airport Mr. Cullen. You're scheduled to view the hotel first and then head for the venue for a rehearsal. There shouldn't be any delays."

Alice spoke in a polished and professional tone, looking at her the tablet in her hands the entire time, when neither Edward or I said anything to her in reply her head snapped up to look at us both...

"Oh screw this...Edward you have fifteen minutes to clean up your crap you have scattered all over these seats," her arms waved around her erratically, "We don't have time to waste...I got the rooms you asked for, and boy was that a hassle to do without raising eyebrows...so you can't linger there too long...I have to get Bella fitted...and no, you can't stay for that because you have rehearsal..." she said this all very fast and I didn't understand half of it...but Edward just grinned at her...like a boy being chastised by his mother...the lines around his eyes crinkled with merriment, and he looked over at me...

"Bella...this is Alice...the _real_ Alice...I don't believe you've met her yet." He chuckled, and just like that, we were all relaxed again.

"I think I like the real Alice," I smiled up at her, "she reminds me a lot of my best friend."

Alice gave out a little huff, but she was smiling back at us, "Whew...I thought I was going to have to call you Mr. Cullen forever...thank God Bella's cool..."

This time Edward laughed, and began gathering up his papers and binder, shoving everything into this black briefcase. Alice began clicking on her tablet turning away from us, "Oh and be ready for the heat...this is Dallas after all..."

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

It was hot all right...the minute we stepped off the plane you could feel the heat swarming over you like a blanket. I was grateful that our car was waiting just like Alice said it would be, but I was even more grateful that Alice did what I asked her to do and got a second car for herself.

We didn't have to walk far at all, just a few short paces, but even in that short distance I wanted to grab onto Bella's hand and lead her over to the vehicle that awaited us. It took willpower, but somehow I managed to stay in control.

The driver quickly opened the door and both Bella and I could feel the cool air from the air conditioner working in full force.

She slid in gracefully, her eyes, once again, full of awe at her surroundings. Finally I could sit next to her..._right_ next to her, my leg pressed fully against hers, I praised Ford silently for providing me with unlimited access to _any_, and _all_ of their vehicles.

"Wow..." Bella breathed, "This is beautiful."

"It's one of a kind." I let my hand slide over the rich dark leather of the seats, "Custom made."

"Just for you?" her head turned to me in wonder.

_Just for us_...I wanted to say. "Yes...just for me..."

"Oh..." she breathed again, "It even smells new." Her hand touched the inside of the door, her fingers grazing all the little buttons.

"I just got it...a few weeks ago. This is actually my first time in it...you like it?"

"Like it? How about love it?" Bella laughed, her voice excited...almost musical...

"Love is even better." I teased wanting to put my arm around the back of her seat.

"But where's Alice? Isn't she coming with us?" Bella looked up at me in question and then turned to the window, peering out.

"Alice always takes her own car. She has a few appointments to attend to, she'll be meeting up with us later."

"She's really _different_...has she always been your assistant?"

"Not always...she became Jasper's wife first, Jasper's my guitarist. It wasn't until after they got married that she took over controlling our lives." I joked, "But in all seriousness, Alice is the glue that holds our band together...she is extremely smart and talented, and knows her business. None of us would be where we are without Alice." I wanted Bella to understand the role Alice played in our lives, to understand why Alice would play a huge role in her own life too.

"That's incredible..." Bella eyes flew over my own as she processed all this information I was feeding her, "She's married to your guitarist...no wonder she's so comfortable around you."

"She's more than comfortable...she acts like my mother...ordering me and the guys around...she keeps us in line..." I chuckled.

"Is she like, your wife's best friend?"

The question hung there...almost making me choke...I didn't know how to answer that. While I had played out in my head everything I would ask Bella, and everything we might possibly discuss, never once did I imagine we would talk about Tanya. I don't know why...

"Best friend? Um...no...no she's not. Tanya's schedule doesn't allow time for that...I mean...my wife is very busy in New York...filming...and Alice...Alice is always here with us...they don't have much time to mingle...with their schedules and all..." I could hear my voice quiver at the mention of Tanya, and I wondered if Bella noticed that. She just nodded at my words, accepting them silently.

It left me flustered...and the next few minutes passed without conversation. I dwelled in my own thoughts, feeling a bit frustrated with myself...I thought I was so prepared for this...I realized that I would eventually have to talk about Tanya...and I dreaded it.

I didn't snap out of my funk until we reached the hotel. Normally I didn't stay at hotels during my tours, my bus fit my needs well enough, but now I had Bella, and I wanted to show off a little bit.

Alice once again had done her job excellently. There was no need for checking in...a doorman was waiting privately for our car at the back entrance. He knew immediately whom he was expecting and addressed us as so. With quick broad strides we were escorted through the luxurious hallways, our shoes tapping on the marbled floors. There was only one private elevator that would take us right up to our entrance...only one way up to the penthouse suites...

"Here you are Mr. Cullen..." the doorman didn't step out of the elevator, he didn't need to...the doors opened right out into the outer foyer of our rooms. There was no need for key codes or cards of any sort, my thumbprint was all it took to get the doors to open, and I knew that the doorman would not move from his position of guarding our elevator, or allow anyone to come up beside those I put on a secured list. Bella and I would be safe and alone here...

I was actually looking forward to this part...couldn't wait to see her face when I opened the door for her...

And I was right.

She was already looking at me with astonishment when I pressed my thumb above the lock on the double doors, but when they opened...that's when the gasp of amazement escaped her.

"Welcome to your home away from home Miss Bella." I waved my hand out in front of us. I stepped inside and she followed me, her eyes taking in everything before her.

It was perfect...both the suite and her reaction...just perfect.

"Let me show you around..." Again I wanted to reach for her hand, it was right there...this close. Yet still...I resisted, walking right up into the middle of the large living area... "This is your living room...it should be well equipped with everything you need to make you feel at home. The television is inside the wooden hutch over there...and both ends of this sofa here recline and rock..."

Her eyes were roaming everywhere...moving from chair to chair, and then back to me. I showed her the study area with her own desk and computer...the kitchen and bar area, stocked and filled with every possible drink known to man. She really loved the marble island that stood on carved, antique wooden legs and had a built in sink. Her face just looked so angelic...so trusting...

"And over here...behind these doors is your bedroom..." I briefly touched her arm, making it look like I was trying to capture her attention, I led her down some carpeted steps and pushed open one of the large brown wooden doors that held her sleeping quarters.

"Oh!" Her voice was high...full of awe and amazement. "This is so beautiful."

"I'm happy to hear that...I was hoping you would like it...it was designed for you." The last part just slipped out, I hadn't meant for her to know that yet.

"For me?" she spun around to face me, her smile flashing across her face.

"Well yes..." I was at lost for words at first...then decided to be honest, "Everything you see was flown in from Nashville...the furniture...the linens...the bed..."

"It's absolutely gorgeous...thank you Edward..."

She was flushed and happy, and walking right towards me, her sweet words still floating through my ears. When she reached me, she stopped, just for a second, and then slid one slender arm across my back, giving me sort of a sideways hug...a friendship hug...

I almost turned around...so that I would be facing her...so that I could feel the entire length of her body pressed to mine...I almost did...but I knew, if I wanted this to work, that I couldn't do that here...now...so I allowed her brief touch, tried to memorize the feel of her arm...resisted to urge to slide my own arm around her and bring her closer.

"You're welcome Bella...it's my pleasure." My voice sounded gruff...raw...so I pulled away quickly and ushered her back out of the room, "Let me show you the dining area...it's over here..."

She seemed content with my answer and was once again fascinated with the room around her. She touched the centerpiece on the table gently, her voice indicating that she loved the sweet smell of the tulips that were surrounded by an array of different flowers. The ran her hand over the mantle of the fireplace, marveling at the delicate carved design etched into the dark mahogany wood.

Finally she found herself standing in front of a single designed door. It blended into the wall beautifully, so it didn't stand out in any way, yet she found it...like I knew she would...

"Oh what's this one for? Is this a closet?" her hand rand up and down the white wood before resting on the brass doorknob.

"No..." I headed over to her, "No, that's not a closet."

"It's very pretty...even the doorknob has a bit of sparkle to it...maybe it's hiding an ironing board."

That made me chuckle... "There's no ironing board in here Bella, if you need anything to be pressed we'll just call for housekeeping service. They'll do anything you ask."

"They will? Even iron?" Her eyes had that childlike wonder in them again and I found myself reaching out for her, wanting to hold her in the worse way. Instead I let my hand close around the doorknob resting right below her hip.

"They'll iron...dry clean...provide room service...bring you flowers...whatever you'd like..." The knob turned in my hands and I let the door open, "They have strict orders to pamper you in every way...but if they don't leave you alone, you can always hide in here..."

"What's in there?" Her head was probably spinning by now...and that was good, because I didn't want to give her the wrong impression...even if it was the wrong impression...

"This is my room..." was all I said.

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Alice was talking on her cellphone and driving at the same time. I felt like I was in some kind of NASCAR race, zooming through the streets of Dallas watching it fly by my window in a blur, the colors all blending together like some crazed rainbow. It matched the chaos in my head.

"This is my room..." Edward said, and that's when the crazy started...at least in my world.

He didn't hesitate at all...just walked right into it, waiting for me to follow him.

Edward's room wasn't like anything I had ever seen before. It felt like I was stepping into a large grand house. His suite was beautiful, gorgeous, and masculine...just like him. You could see the the tiny hints of country, or Nashville, if you will, all around it. Just tiny glimpses...reminders of his home...

I don't even remember what I said anymore...I was on autopilot now...following him around like a lost puppy.

I could see a gorgeous sea green guitar resting against the large picture windows...beautiful canvassed prints, illustrating the wide open spaces of green grass and grand oak trees hung along the walls...and a noble red cherry wooden rocking chair was placed in the corner, draped with some kind of luxurious silky looking throw.

My brain kept right on spinning, and I found myself wanting to ask him why he was staying here with me...or if his other band members had a room here too. He was telling me something about this type of wood he liked...how it was easy to carve...but my mind was refusing to concentrate...it just kept going over and over how close we were going to be sleeping.

When Edward reached the end of his tour, he paused and faced me, his eyes searching mine for just a second, but he didn't give me any time to say anything, Alice was already calling him on his cellphone, telling him his car was waiting for him.

"I'll leave you here to look around...make yourself comfortable. Feel free to hang out here if you like this room better. I won't be back until very late tonight. I know Alice is taking you out for some fittings, if you get back before me you can roam around either suite..." his eyes kept right on staring into mine...almost as if they were asking me a silent question...

"Also Bella, the door...the one that connects our rooms...it locks...on both ends..." That's the last thing he said before he left.

* * *

><p>"Okay Bella...here we are...you ready to do some shopping?" Alice's voice jolted me out of my thoughts and I looked up at her in surprise.<p>

"Are we here yet?" I glanced around me, "Where are we?"

"My secret hideaway...and my favorite way to shop..." she giggled, "Come on, let's go."

The place arrived at looked like a very aged, glamorous home...elegant and comfortable...there was a tall man at the door who offered us champagne in beautiful crystal glasses when we walked in.

"Alice! How wonderful to see you!" An older, strikingly beautiful brunette woman seemed to appear from nowhere, her arms outstretched to Alice, a bright smile on her face.

"Miss Lauren! How are you gorgeous? I've missed you!" Alice seemed just as happy to see this Lauren as Lauren was to see her.

"It's been too long darling...now who's this beauty you have here? She's a stunner." Miss Lauren's eyes were friendly, and her personality was captivating, I found myself liking her instantly.

"This here is Bella Swan, she is a friend of Edward's and ours...she's going to be in our new video. We need to get her fitted." Alice smiled at me affectionately.

"Oh marvelous! I'll be happy to fit her. What kind of look are we going for? Exotic...she would model that look perfectly with those eyes...or maybe pure glamour, some pearls and fur?"

Alice just shook her head, and giggled at the horror that was probably crossing my face at the moment.

"No Miss Lauren...nothing like that...we're going for Country...pure Country. You see the legs on this girl? Well that's what we want to showcase, and all this wavy brown hair...I know you have something to make this girl just pop..." Alice winked at me, and it didn't make me feel any better.

"Oh wait." Miss Lauren studied me quietly for a moment, her eyes running over my face and hair, "Oh yes...he called me...told me what he wanted...and I have it...for you darling...it's all right here on the rolling racks next to the dressing room. Come with me."

"He what?" Alice was voicing out loud the exact thought I had rolling around in my head, but Miss Lauren didn't elaborate on Alice's question, she just nodded and smiled some more, ushering both us to follow her into the back.

When she said rolling racks my mind conjured up this image of two small racks, something you might have in your laundry room to dry clothes...my mind didn't conjure up the scene that I walked into...

There were at least five racks...if not more...each of them had to be over eight feet long, and packed full with clothing. Next to those racks were rows and rows of shoes...all kinds of shoes...heels, boots, sandals, but my favorite were the cowboy boots...

It took hours...and then more hours...to try all those clothes on. Alice vetoed over half of them faster than I could change into them. I was tired after fifteen minutes...but we kept on...there were dresses...and more dresses...then came the jeans...some too tight, some too loose...skinny leg...bootcut.

The shorts were next...I felt naked in a few of those shorts...but loved the ones with the fringe on the end, Alice loved them too. There were low cut blouses that would have put my reputation to shame back home in Forks, and then there were those sweet, light, billowy sleeved tops that seemed to drape over my frame, they were romantic and pretty, and Alice gave a thumbs up to those, much to my delight.

By the third hour the three of us were verging on exhaustion, and Miss Lauren called in the same tall man we saw at the door. He brought us glasses of chilled sparkling water, and tiny slivers of fresh fruit dipped in some sort of cream or yogurt. It was the perfect snack that seemed to revive us.

"Is all this for the video?" I took another sip of my water, I kid you not, this was the best water I had ever tasted.

"The what?" Alice frowned at me, "Video? You think this is for the video?" Then she burst out laughing... "Oh Bella...even I wouldn't go through all this trouble for the video. No silly...this is for you...just for you...to wear...while you're here with us...and then to keep I guess, Edward didn't tell me that part..." she tilted her head in thought.

I just stared at her stunned. "Me?" "Mine?"

"Yes." Alice chuckled again, "You...yours."

"She's adorable no?" Miss Lauren turned to Alice, the same look of delight on her face.

"Isn't she." Both ladies began talking as if I weren't in the room, "And you see the way she looks today...I can't wait to see the look on her face tomorrow..."

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"Did she like them? The clothes I mean?" I was heading back from rehearsal stretched out in the backseat, my phone pressed against my ear.

"I wish you could've seen her face Edward...she loved them...well most of them. Some of them...err...let's just say we don't know what you were thinking..."

I gave out a small chuckle at Alice's words, my mind trying picture Bella's face when she saw all the clothing.

"And those flowy summer dresses...you hit the jackpot with those...we kept all of them, every single one of em...because they looked good...no, not just good...they looked hot on her Edward...I'm not kidding."

"Really? All of them?" I tried desperately to remember which summer dresses I had picked out from Lauren's catalog.

"The girl has great legs...but I'm sure you noticed that already, and she's super sweet and fun. Miss Lauren took to Bella right away...and you know how rare that is for Miss Lauren. I was almost jealous, it took Lauren months before she would let me pick anything out from her designs..." I was hardly listening to Alice anymore, my car had arrived back at the hotel.

"Is everything set for tomorrow?" I asked hastily, reaching for the door handle, anxious to get out.

"Yup, all set."

"Great. Thanks Alice. Have a good night."

"You too Edward...and don't forget..._behave_..." She was teasing...but at the same time, serious.

"I will." I answered automatically, but I already knew, there would come a point where I wouldn't behave...wouldn't have the control to behave...I just didn't know when.

The entrance to my suite mirrored the entrance to Bella's suite, it was just a little further down the hall, and I walked into it quickly, tossing my leather jacket carelessly across one of the sofas. I wanted to see...completely ansty to see...if that door was opened...

When it came into my view, I could tell it was closed...and when I quietly turned the doorknob, careful not to disturb her...it was locked...

* * *

><p><strong>Anyone feel like reviewing today? Or how about a teaser? I'll share if you share. ;)<strong>

**XOXO  
><strong>

**MBella  
><strong>


	8. Let Me Down Easy

**I bet you thought I was gone forever huh? Nah...never gonna happen! LOL**

**Wishing you all a happy summer!**

**Song of the day: Billy Currington Let Me Down Easy**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>But tonight, I'm gonna love you like there's no tomorrow...<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I was in a foul mood. I shouldn't be...there was nothing really that would cause me to be so ill-tempered. I stood by one of the large white pillars that surrounded the set. The pillars weren't real marble, they were solely placed there for the video, so I didn't lean against them, even though I really wanted to.

The crew kept their distance...pretending to be engrossed with their camera wires and their invisible sound problems. Alice wasn't here yet...she would probably be pissed at me if she knew why I was acting so surly.

I tried to blame it on lack of sleep...I don't think I slept more than two hours last night, my brain searched for a logical explanation, purposely avoiding the real reason, but I already knew it...I just didn't want to say it out loud.

I sighed heavily, and pulled off my hat, running my free hand through my hair, wishing I brought my baseball cap with me...I was tired and cranky and...

It was because the door stayed shut...

_Locked._

All night long...and all morning. No matter how much I lingered near it, hoping for the slightest sound coming from the other end, resisting the urge to knock and call out her name...it stayed shut.

That white paneled door mocked me...tormented me with every minute that ticked by. I mentally scolded myself with each hour that passed. She had no reason to open that door...no reason to unlock it. Why should she? She didn't belong to me...and I didn't belong to her.

"Mr. Cullen?" One of my younger crew members approached me with apprehensive eyes. I looked down sharply at him, probably answering him more harshly than I should,

"Yes? What is it James?"

"Uh...our sound guy, Boss...he sent me over to tell you that your guitars are ready...if you want to test em...you don't have to..." he quickly picked up one hand and took a step back. His nervous expression sent a brief flash of empathy through me, and I forced myself to give him a friendly smile.

"Thanks James. I appreciate all your hard work. Tell Boss I'll head over to the guitars in a few minutes so we can sound check them. I just want to ring up Alice real quick." I began reaching for my cell phone.

My smile and kind tone put James at ease immediately, he grinned up at me in agreement, nodding his head, "Alice? I just saw her...with your model...they're over in the makeup trailer...if ya want to see her..."

I don't think I heard anything else he was saying...I was already taking long strides over to one of the few trailers parked near the left side of the set up, my boots making deep impressions in the fine dust-like sand that led to the walkway.

It was just my luck that Alice stepped out of the trailer before I could open the door. My hand was already outstretched, reaching for it.

I wanted to see her...see if she was all wide eyed and excited like I imagined her to be, or maybe she was tired...maybe she didn't get any sleep either. My brain suddenly forgot how upset I was supposed to be, since my heart had perked up at the mention of Bella's name.

Alice nearly collided with me as she exited the trailer, her cell pressed against her ear.

"Edward. What are you doing here? Boss needs you to go sound check your guitars. I'm talking to him right now. Bella won't be ready for another half hour or so..." Alice wouldn't take no for an answer, even though I tried to sidestep her, she kept right up with me, waving her hand up near my face when I tried to lie that I was looking for her.

"I was just about to call you..." I tried again to move around her.

"Yeah yeah yeah...save it." Alice hung up her phone, she could see right through me, "Come on, let's go...I promise you it'll be worth the wait. Bella's looking fabulous, we chatted a bit this morning...I hear you had a long night huh?" Her words jerked me to attention, I even stopped walking and turned to face her.

"You heard what?" I was about to narrow my eyes at her.

Instead, Alice laughed, "Bella told me how you took your time to show her around, and how much she loved her room, and how comfortable her bed was...how well she slept...did you sleep well too?" she winked at me.

"Are you assuming I was with her last night?" Now I really narrowed my eyes at her.

The teasing light in Alice's eyes quickly vanished and she blinked really fast, "Uh...well...I guess that's what I thought at first...but now _obviously_..."

"She's married Alice." I started walking again, heading towards the rolling cart that held my guitars.

"Yeah well...so are you..." Alice didn't let up, her voice changed...got more serious, "I'm not blind, I see that look in your eyes...besides...with all your requests, connecting doors..the clothes...I thought you..."

"You thought _wrong_..." I cut her off harshly, wrapping my fingers around the first guitar that I could reach, "I won't be treating her with anything but respect...and I most certainly won't be spending the night in her room..."

Alice suddenly glared at me, her eyes boring into mine. "A true southern gentleman." There was sarcasm in her tone, "That's right...that's who you are, everybody knows that. That's what keeps Seth happy...that's what keeps your band happy...that's even what keeps me happy...but what about you, Edward? Are you happy?"

She didn't bother to wait for my answer. She spun around in a huff and headed back towards Boss.

I was about to follow her and tell her just how damn happy I was, and to quit poking her nose into my business, when that trailer door flew open again.

Just the vision standing there in the doorway was enough to make me forget what the hell I was thinking...or feeling.

All I could do was stare.

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I couldn't believe I was looking at myself in the mirror. I felt like a completely different person.

The girl starring back at me was beautiful...stunning...drop dead gorgeous. I was afraid to touch anything for fear of messing up all the makeup artist's hard work.

"Well, what do you think Miss Bella?"

The makeup artist was a really sweet girl. She chatted with me nonstop all while working on me. There were times when I forgot what I was there for.

"Wow." I breathed, "Is that really me?"

"It sure is Ma'am...and you are beautiful. Mr. Cullen's going to be real happy to see you."

I turned to face her, trying to ignore that little jump, flip, thingy that my heart did at the sound of Edward's name, "You think so?"

"Oh yes Ma'am...I think he's going to take one look at you and be speechless." she giggled and I couldn't help myself, I joined in, feeling like a school girl.

"Well...I hope I don't mess it up." I drew a big breath and grabbed the door handle.

"Not to worry Ma'am...I'll be on hand if anything messes you up. There isn't supposed to be any wind today and the temperature won't rise for another hour or two...perfect conditions right now...but I'll be on hand...just in case." She smiled broadly at me, trying to reassure me. If only she knew what I really meant...

As soon as I stepped outside it was hard trying to act like I wasn't in complete fascination with everything around me. I mean the hotel had completely blocked off this absolute darling, fairy tale piece of land that fell before my eyes.

Everything was green and fresh and blooming...there were great big trees and pretty stone pathways. Large white pillars graced the cobblestone patio, and sweet smelling flowers grew in perfect bunches, embracing the entire yard in a rainbow of color.

I especially loved the beautiful wooden, swinging bench that hung from this large oak tree. It was completely bewitching and magical.

I glanced down briefly, making sure I wouldn't trip on the steps leading to the pathway, and carefully made my way along the cobblestone. My boots clicked almost daintily since I was nearly tip toeing, trying to keep myself presentable as possible. The wardrobe girl made me try on three different dresses before settling with this white cotton, summery dress. It was really beautiful with intricate stitching all along the bodice and some kind of glittery embroidery along the hem. I felt like a princess...a princess who had no idea what was going to be in store for her today.

My heart took another dive before I even made it to the end of the path. There standing near a large rolling rack of guitars was Edward.

He was holding one of his guitars in his left hand, his frame almost frozen. He was facing me, looking gorgeous as ever, his charcoal grey hat resting on his head. He was all in black today. Black jeans, black, short sleeved button down shirt, and these awesome black boots that I guessed had to have cost a million dollars...

But what made my heart go into a frenzy wasn't the way he was dressed, it was the way he was looking at me...

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

Fucking hell...

She was gorgeous...

Completely gorgeous...

And heading my way.

I forgot about everything...including the sound check that Boss and Alice were waiting for. I just took the guitar with me, holding it in my hand as I walked towards her. At that moment, I didn't fucking care what anybody thought, I had to go up to her.

She smiled at me when her eyes finally met mine, she'd been looking around her, taking in the scenery, unaware that I was completely mesmerized and frozen in place watching her.

"Edward! Good morning!" her voice was angelic, and excited. Her hair bounced around her shoulders with each step she took.

"Good morning. You look beautiful today." I stretched out my hand to her, my heart already telling me to pull her into my arms.

"Thank you!" She shook my hand, and my brain automatically forced myself to let her go. She tilted her head, still looking up at me, "Quite the transformation what a little makeup and a curling iron can do, no?" She spread her arms around her smiling.

I shook my head at her, "That only enhances what was already there...you're completely stunning...before...and after..." I was being honest, and her eyes lit up even more at my words.

"Thank you." She said again, only this time her hand reached out and touched my forearm. Her fingers wrapped around my arm, near my wrist, and squeezed gently, but it was enough to make something snap inside me, and I found myself grinning at her, sliding my arm up around her shoulder, almost like a friendly hug.

"Come on over here...I'm just about to tune my guitars. Would you like to see?" I began leading her back to the rolling rack, not letting her go.

"Yes, I would love to see. Do you tune_ all_ of them?" She didn't flinch, or pull away, but fell perfectly into step with me.

"Yes, all of them, it saves us time later...and I'm pretty sure we'll both be thankful for that in about three hours..."

She laughed with me, her lips parting in merriment, her body briefly leaning against mine...it was genuine, what she was feeling...I could tell.

* * *

><p>"Tyler, is the camera ready?" Alice was impatient, her hand shielding her eyes from the already rising sun, she was trying to get the attention of the large burly man standing next to her holding the video camera.<p>

But he was watching Edward and Bella, just like everyone else, not really sure if what he was seeing was real...but believing it all along. When Alice's sharp tone caught his attention, he turned to her briefly, and then quickly back to Edward and Bella, not wanting to miss anything, "Everything's ready to roll sweet thing..."

Alice watched in fascination as Edward slid his arm around Bella's shoulders, he looked relaxed and happy, "Then let's not waste any time...start filming right now...something tells me we don't want to miss one minute of these two..."

"You got it darling..."

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

The feeling...it was like standing in the middle of water, your body half afloat...lightweight...peaceful...serene. I wanted to close my eyes, but they refused to stop their starring at Edward's fingers. Those hands...so fluid...long lean fingers flying over the strings of his guitars...I had to keep shaking my head, trying to make my overactive imagination stop itself from envisioning what else those perfect hands could do.

And I was equally impressed with how he communicated with everyone around him, and how they responded. His words still commanded authority, but they were not harsh or demanding in any way. Edward was sincerely a nice guy; polite...friendly...honest. His crew responded in kind...even cracking jokes with him as they worked. It was like being at this great big family BBQ, everyone relaxed, having fun, enjoying themselves...

Every time Edward smiled...whether at me or one of his crew, I couldn't shake or deny that my heart pounded just a little bit harder, or that voice in the back of my head kept repeating over and over how wonderful he was...

Once the guitars were all tuned, Alice approached us, all smiles. This very large muscular man stood by her side, I couldn't see his face because he was holding this large video camera propped up on his shoulder.

"All right you two, it's time to get this show on the road. Come on Bella, I need to get you out in the meadow...you see that big piece of grass, that was put there just for us. That's where Jared needs you to be..."

Her words created a quick flutter in my stomach as I realized this was it...the real thing...I turned to Edward nervously, he was still smiling at me, those green eyes gave me the encouragement I needed, and I nodded and took a step towards Alice.

"This here is Tyler...he's one of our many cameramen, he'll just follow you around, try not to look at him, pretend he's not there. Jared, our director, will pretty much instruct you on what you need to do. It'll be easy, I promise." Alice's voice put me at ease a little, and even though I tried, it was hard to pretend that big huge camera guy was not standing right smack next to me, filming my every move...

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the scurry of Edward's crew, they were placing sound boxes and amplifiers in front of a plain white backdrop. They ushered Edward over and he began playing one of his guitars, his head tilted down...concentrating...completely into his music. Another cameraman was standing in front of him, filming.

The way he stood...and played, it was just all so amazing. This was his video, and I wanted it to be perfect...I wanted to be perfect..._for him_.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I think I was done in about five minutes. I pretended to play about four different guitars for the video, mouthing out the words to the song. My camera guy filmed me in front of this white canvas backdrop. Later, the editing guys would piece it all together, right now I was anxious to go see what Jared was telling Bella. They were out standing in the middle of the grass, she would listen to him intently, and then Tyler would film her for a few minutes. They even had her sit down in the grass, her hands playing with a few of the green strands.

She looked like an angel...all bright and beautiful...I decided I didn't want to disturb her, so I made my way over to this swinging bench, sitting down, letting my back rest against it, making it sway back and forth with my legs. I was content...just to watch her. She looked perfect...like she belonged there. This is what she was meant to do...be beautiful, treasured, and admired...and I so wanted to be a part of that. Every time she would smile at what Alice or Jared was telling her, I smiled too, and every time she laughed, her eyes would get all wide, making me chuckle too. This was the most comfortable and at ease that I had felt in years, it reminded me of the days I was still back home, surrounded by people who loved me...cared for me...

Some time later I could tell Jared was wrapping everything up, he shook Bella's hand, said a few words to Alice and then turned to Tyler. Alice and Bella chatted for a bit and then Alice turned her body towards me...pointing at me and nodding at Bella.

I sat up a little straighter when I saw Bella making her way over to me. Her pretty white dress flowed gracefully just above her knees. She gave me a bright smile when she reached me.

"Hi!" she half picked up her hand in greeting, "Do you mind a little company?"

"Of course not," I quickly patted the space next to me on the swing, "I'd love to have you join me. Did Jared tell you, if you were done for the day?"

"No," she sat down carefully, smoothing her dress in front of her, "He says we both have to go out there in about fifteen minutes. He wants to go inside...some video room...to see what he has so far...I don't know what he's going to make me do next." She laughed nervously.

"Maybe a little singing...a little dancing..." I joked, trying to help her relax. She giggled and leaned back into the swing, her head tilting upwards.

"This is the perfect time of day." I offered, feeling myself relax next to her, "Before the sun gets too bright...not a lot of people around...everything still...quiet..."

"Yes," she breathed, "I can feel it. It feels wonderful. So far everything has felt wonderful..." she turned her head to me, looking up at me with those gorgeous, round eyes. She was so close...and the urge to lean down to kiss her was weighing heavily on my shoulders. I didn't know where everyone had disappeared to, and I didn't care at the moment. She hadn't turned away from me, she was still looking into my eyes. I could feel the tingle of anticipation sweep though me, my body knew what it was about to do...

"Do you know what this reminds me of?" Bella's voice broke through my jumbled thoughts, and I didn't answer her right away.

She didn't seem to mind, my quietness, I guess she took it as me waiting for her to answer her own question, "When I was younger...still a little girl, I would get up early...before everyone was awake...and lay out in my backyard. My dad loves gardening, so I was always surrounded by grass and flowers and stuff...anyways...I would lay out there and watch the clouds float across the sky. Sometimes I thought, if you laid out there long enough, the clouds would tell you a story..." she paused then, her cheeks getting a brighter pink, she was either nervous again or embarrassed.

"I love watching the clouds..." I finally found my voice, I'd been captivated by her story...forgot about the want to kiss her, and intrigued by image of a young girl lying out in her backyard, surrounded by beauty, watching the clouds.

"You do?" The awe in her voice had returned, and so had her smile.

"I used to watch them too, when I was a boy. I still do...I mean, look up in the sky right now...do you see them? I always imagined them to be big white fluffs of cotton candy, like the kind you get at the fair..." I scooted just a bit closer to her and pointed at the sky. Her eyes followed my arm and finger, and she looked up, bright and excited.

I found myself leaning into her, my head nearly resting on her shoulder as I pointed out shape after shape, trying to make her laugh...loving the look on her face as she giggled at my words.

"I don't think that one looks like mermaid...it has more of a round shape to it..." she was laughing, looking up at the sky.

"How about a pregnant mermaid then?" I raised one eyebrow at her and she chuckled, pushing her shoulder into me.

"No silly, I don't think mermaid's get pregnant...at least I never heard about a mermaid getting pregnant."

"Okay...then, it's a baby whale..." I offered, hoping that Jared and Alice would never return.

She laughed again, shaking her head, finally turning to me. She had to look down at me this time, as I had slouched down in my seat in order to look up at the sky with her...her chin nearly touched her shoulder as she watched me.

"You're really nice." she said softly, and her eyes...there was something in them, I could see it.

"Thanks," I wasn't sure how to answer her, "I try to be...I'm just a regular guy...nothing special..."

"Oh no..." she stopped herself then, and reached up with her hand, almost as if she were going to touch my face, but instead, her fingertips touched the rim of my hat, "That's not true...everything about you is...special..."

"It's just the hat...amazing what a hat can do huh?" I grinned at her, lifting the hat off my head, repeating her own words from earlier this morning.

She smiled, she got it instantly, "The hat just enhances what was already there..." she kind of wrinkled her nose at me, teasing me, "Special...awesome...funny..."

"Handsome?" I half joked, and she laughed again.

"Most definitely handsome..." she nodded, and I couldn't help myself, my head was already turned to her, her pretty bare shoulder right in front of my eyes. I just let the tip of my nose brush against her arm, my eyes closing on their own.

I could hear her try to giggle again but it sounded more of a sigh than anything else...our bond was forming...whether it was friendship or something else, it was forming...right at that instant.

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

God this man was gorgeous...I just couldn't figure out why he was paying all this attention to me. Why his wife wasn't the one sitting here on this swing with him, telling him how great he was...watching him with the same pride that I was feeling...telling him how special he was, because he obviously didn't think so...but most of all, why she wasn't in his bed at night.

The night before had been long. I'm not sure I slept much. I know I spent the better part of the evening roaming around Edward's suite, looking for clues about what kind of man he was.

There was only one picture near his bed, placed on the side-table, near a pretty white lamp. The picture was of two little boys. One just an infant. Those were his sons, I could tell, and I studied that photo for the longest time. That photo was the only thing I could find about his family. There was nothing else.

I almost left the door open. I spent nearly an hour debating what kind of woman would I look like if I left the door open. It would clearly be an invitation...right? I was puzzled enough with everything that was happening around me...I certainly didn't want to give him the wrong impression...have him disappointed in me. So I closed that door and locked it. Sitting in my perfect little living room, all alone, watching that door, not sure what I waiting for? Trying to avoid that little bubble of hope that he would knock...and pushing down the disappointment when he didn't...

So here I was, with this gorgeous hunk of a man, sitting right next to me. I could feel his breath on my shoulder, his cheek almost resting against my arm. It was all too much for me...it made me want things...things I shouldn't want...

Yet I didn't know how to tell him to stop. I didn't really want him to stop, that little voice in the back of my head was actually encouraging me to lean down...to bring my face down to his...

And I might have...I really don't know. All I do know is, that right when my brain was about to make that decision, both of us could hear the bustle of laughing and joking as Edward's crew made their way back outside, past the double doors of the hotel. Everyone had returned, and they all joked with one another as they fiddled with their equipment once again.

I could see Tyler retrieving his video camera from the tripod it was resting on. He was unscrewing it from the bottom, in this fast twirling motion.

Alice looked happy and animated as usual, and I noticed that this time Edward's band-mates were with her.

Edward had suddenly sat straight up, his body moving away from mine as he looked towards the crew. He placed his hat back on his head as he watched them, not saying anything to me.

I wasn't sure if his sudden change had anything to do with me, or even if I should say anything, but I was relieved when we both saw Alice waving us over to her. Edward patted me briefly on my knee, "It looks like our time is up." His voice sounded hollow...almost raw.

"Yes..." I began to rise, my knees still a bit shaky, "It sure does..."

I liked Jasper and Emmett immediately. Jasper was funny and charming, Emmett was polite and well spoken. I could tell instantly why the three of them made a perfect team, they all complimented each other so well.

"So this is Miss Bella. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Eddie's been talking about you nonstop..." I had to really pay attention to Jasper's voice, his accent was so thick.

Emmett shook my hand and looked at me the way you would look at a newborn baby. He offered me a polite_, nice to meet you_, but I could see in his eyes that he was doing so much more than saying hello.

Alice told me the makeup girl was waiting for me again, just to do a quick touch up because we had to get back out in the grass and there was really only one more hour before the sun got to hot to be outdoors. So we left the guys and headed back to the trailer.

"How's everything going so far Bella? Are you liking it?"

"This is so crazy Alice," I really couldn't hide my feelings, "It's like living a dream..."

Alice just laughed, "You'll get used to it. I swear, some days I wake up with Jasper's smelly socks hanging over the towel rack and think to myself, yup...every girl's dream..."

We both chuckled as we entered the trailer...

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

My mood had improved immensely...and it was obvious. Jared was overexcited and on the verge of delirium during the last hour when neither Bella nor I complained as he shouted out directions for us to follow.

This was Jared's first time directing my video with me as one of the main characters, so he was having a field day with it.

Plus I fucking liked it because I got to hold Bella's hand...for the first time, and even though we were just supposed to be pretending...it sure felt real.

It was easy to get lost in the emotion of the song...there was a whole lotta love in it...and of course the heartbreak.

I personally liked the love part.

I didn't even tell Jared beforehand, what I wanted..._ahem_...thought he should do with us during the video. I let him run with it, and I could tell, it was going to be good.

And since I got to touch her, and hold her hand...I sure wasn't going to complain.

"All right Ed..." Jared was the only one who was allowed to call me Ed, "If you could just put your arm around our girl...your right arm...and kind of pull her close to you...that's it. And Sweet Pea..." that's what he'd taken a liking to calling Bella, and I wholeheartedly approved... "Don't look at him, keep looking straight ahead, like if ya'll are daydreaming..."

Both Bella and I moved around according to direction, sometimes not being able to help it, and burst out laughing, much to Jared's exasperated sighs.

Our moods went from playful to laughter to mock seriousness, and it was all fun. It wasn't until the end, one of the last scenes we were going to film, that I wasn't pretending anymore...and I don't think Bella was either.

Jared had sent us out into the middle of the grass over where the yellow wildflowers were growing. It was just us two and the directions Jared had given me were clear. I was suppose to pick Bella up, swing her around, and lower her down so that it looked like I was bringing her down to kiss me.

It was more torture than anything else...

I loved the picking her up part. She would always be smiling or laughing, he hair falling over her face. I loved the feel of her waist beneath my fingers, the feel of the pretty fabric of her dress. I loved that she would almost jump into my arms eagerly, bright with anticipation. Her hands on my shoulders. The sound of her laugh as I swung her around was better than any music I could ever create, and the way hair would feel as it brushed across my arms would just make me want to twirl her around more.

It was when I lowered her...watched her eyes and her face, how she would be this close to me...watch the way her mouth would open slightly, those pink lips soft and ready. Sometimes I could feel the faint whisper of her breath as it fell teasingly over my lips...I could already taste her.

And always...always at the last second, her eyes would grow so wide as they stared into mine...as if they were asking me, is this time going to be it? And each time I would lower her just a little bit closer to me, than the time before.

We did this four or five times...and every time Jared would yell _cut_ right before her nose could touch mine, and every time I swore I could see disappointment in her eyes.

My patience was wearing thin...

"Ok folks...last one, then we'll wrap it up for the day..." Jared wasn't talking so much to me or Bella, but more to the crew, so they could start breaking down the set. He motioned us to go on ahead and give it one more go.

I told myself to keep it professional...that I only had to do this one more time today...half bribing myself that if I got through this then maybe I would ask Bella if she would like to have lunch...we could go somewhere quiet...

When I caught her in my arms and lifted her up, her eyes were already locked onto mine. They were dark...almost questioning, as they peered into mine. Her hands were on my shoulders, shaking as her fingers clutched my shirt tightly.

As I lowered her I could see her lips part...almost moving, maybe trying to say something, I don't know if my muddled senses were even functioning properly. I could feel my blood rushing through me, sending my mind into overdrive. My hands tightening around her waist on their own accord...whatever it was in her eyes was on the verge of making me lose it...

I might have stayed in control...I might have been able to do this...but right as her nose was about to touch mine...right before I knew Jared would yell out cut...she did something...something different.

Her lips had already parted, and I heard it...a faint whisper... "_Edward..._" She said my name...it just escaped her...and her head tilted, not even an inch...just the tiniest of a tilt...but it was enough..._more_ than enough...and I don't think either one of us heard Jared yell cut.

I lowered her face down to mine, tilting my head in the opposite direction, finally feeling the softness of her lips...drinking her in like a drunken man, wrapping my arms around her as her feet touched the ground, pushing her hair away from her face, completely losing myself in her...in her kiss.

And it felt real.

So real, that I could feel her fingers wrap themselves around the back of my head...feel her body nestle perfectly into mine...feel the sweetness of her lips as she kissed me back.

She didn't pull away, she clutched me close to her, just as hard as I was holding her into me, and she kept right on kissing me...letting me kiss her...until maybe the fourth or fifth time we heard Jarod yell cut...

"All right all right!" He was walking towards us, his voice holding just a bit of bewilderment, "You can stop now Ed. That was perfect...a bit overdone...but we can fix that..." his voice trailed off.

I wanted to let Bella go slowly...softly...but I guess Jared's words and his presence startled her and she jerked herself away from me as if she touched fire. Her body turned away from me and she ran her hand through her hair, holding herself immobile for a few seconds.

Jared didn't say anything else...he kept watching me, waiting for me to say something. I found myself feeling torn between reassuring Bella, from I'm not sure what, to telling Jared to leave us alone.

"Thanks Jared," My voice was probably louder than normal, "you'll let me know when it's done in editing?"

"Uh...yeah, sure Ed...two days tops...I'll call you."

By now Alice had made her way over to Bella and a few of the crew were already around us, taking apart a few of the decorative pieces from the background.

"Edward, I'm going to take Bella back to the make up trailer and get her changed, we'll meet you down in the lounge for a late lunch okay. Are you still up to going to Billy's concert tonight? His manager called to confirm. Edward?"

It was all moving around me too fast...and whatever I thought I had seen or felt...I couldn't confirm it anymore...or even it ever existed.

"You can take Bella...I bet she would love to go with you..." Alice's words finally captured my attention, and I focused on her words, turning to her.

"Yes, of course..." I had gotten it under control again, "You can tell them yes, I'll be there...Billy puts on a fantastic show..." And I knew I shouldn't be wearing my heart on my sleeve anymore, so I started to make my way back towards those tall white pillars, picking my hand up...letting Alice know I was done.

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I made him angry.

He wouldn't even talk to me anymore.

He just turned and walked away.

It was all my fault.

And I felt miserable.

Alice tried to soothe it over. Made small talk with me as we walked over to the make up trailer, but by now I just wanted to cry...

It felt like everyone was looking at me differently...and I guess they should be...because now I was just like any other girl...just like all those other girls who threw themselves at Edward Cullen.

And to make matters worse...despite all the guilt and regret I knew I was going to carry for a long time...

Edward's kiss...

It was everything I ever dreamed of...and nothing like I ever experienced. It changed the way I looked at my life...the way I looked at everything...including Edward...

* * *

><p><strong>Have a happy wonderful weekend y'all! Be a darling and review for me... ;)<strong>

**XOXO  
><strong>

**MBella  
><strong>


	9. Come a Little Closer

**Hi Ya'll! This was officially the chapter that didn't want to end! It had more delays that I even want to talk about. But it's finally done and I'm ready to share it. I'm already halfway through the next one, so you all might have a surprise weekend! ;) **

**Song of the day: Come a Little Closer by Dierks Bentley  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own all the country goodness.  
><strong>

**Enjoy!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>We're like fire and gasoline...<br>**

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I was sure Alice could see it all over my face. The fear and hesitation. No matter what I said or did, I knew I couldn't hide it.

And it was driving me crazy inside too, I shouldn't be feeling this way, I was supposed to be acting...it wasn't real...shouldn't feel real...

But it did.

And not only did it hurt...it scared me too. What happened the day after only added to my hurt and confusion.

So here I was, wanting to curl up in a little ball on this beautiful rustic orange sofa, looking up at Alice, trying to keep my emotions under guard.

"So the car should be here around six. I'll give Edward a call before that to make sure he's ready. It's going to be super hot outside so do you want to wear one of your dresses or would you rather wear shorts?" Alice's voice was kind and lighthearted, and when I didn't answer her right away, I could see the concern flash across her eyes.

She took a few steps towards me before talking again. "What's wrong Bella? Are you feeling ok?"

I finally took a quick breath...hoping she wouldn't hear the tremor in my voice.

"I don't think I should go Alice. I don't think he wants me there." I said it...and that's what was eating me alive...Edward didn't want me...it shouldn't hurt, but it did...

Alice frowned at me, "Who doesn't want you there?" Her head tilted to the side for a few seconds until finally it struck her who I was talking about. "You mean Edward?" She said this in disbelief. "You think Edward doesn't want you _there_?"

I just nodded my head, trying to avoid looking over to that paneled door, wondering if he was on the other side.

"Uhhh..." Alice's face scrunched up in frustration, she seemed at loss for words, I just took that as more confirmation that I was right.

She stayed quiet for a while longer, half in thought, half studying me, until she finally shook her head, "Bella...Edward is more than happy have you in the video screening room. I know he's hard to read sometimes...and he was a bit quiet at the Billy's concert the other night, but you don't understand...there are some things...things that make it hard for him to talk..." her voice trailed off.

Now it was her turn to glance at the paneled door. Her words hadn't made me feel better, they just made me feel worse.

Billy Currington's concert was a disaster in my eyes. Edward didn't say one word to me the entire night, stayed deathly quiet...at least until Billy pulled him onstage with him.

That's when he came alive. You could see his entire personality change the second he stepped onto that platform. His eyes sparkled, his shoulders straightened, and his smile...there it was...that perfect package again. It threw me...sent my mind spinning out of control. I began to realize that he was in character...up on that stage. And if he was in character now, he probably was always in character up on stage, and around me...nothing had ever been about me...I should've known that.

Still...it was quite the sight to see...the crowd went nuts when they found out Edward was there. Just seeing him on the stage affected me as well. As hard as I tried to control it, my heart started racing and I craned my neck, trying to look over everyone, trying to keep my eyes on him.

He stood next to Billy and played his guitar to all of Billy's tunes. He made it look so easy, and every time he flashed the audience his smile, you could hear all the women shrieking. So with every minute that passed, and every scream I heard, I just kept sinking deeper and deeper into myself. I left with Alice and Jasper that night...Edward stayed behind...with Billy...

Alice gave out a sigh...throwing tiny glances my way, her eyes almost puzzled, finally she took another step towards me.

"Please trust me, he really is great. You just have to get to know him a little bit..." She seemed to give up then...of trying to convince me.

My brain was too much of a mess to even comprehend what she was saying. I didn't think Edward wanted me anywhere near him anymore...he'd gotten what he needed out of me. ..I wasn't special anymore, I was like all the others...I gave up arguing with Alice though...you see, deep down inside I really wanted to see him again. I spent the entire day alone yesterday. Edward was in a meeting...some kind of team meeting, with his writers or something. Alice left me a message on my phone, and that was pretty much it...I was alone, and it nearly drove me insane to be so close to him, yet so far away.

I finally lifted my head and met Alice's eyes. Did it really matter what I wore? Edward probably wouldn't look at me anyways...

"You can pick...if you really think he wants me there...whatever you pick is fine with me..." I half shrugged, wondering how I was going to control my feelings for the rest of the night.

Alice seemed to brighten at my words, she smiled at me and waved me up from the sofa. "Ok good. Come on, let's go look in your closet. I think a dress will be best. Something like you wore that morning when we filmed the video. You looked real good out there that day, I mean you made everything look real..."

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I was pacing again...across my suite, my boots pressing deep into the fibers of the white carpet.

I don't know how I made it through these last few days without seeing or talking to Bella, how I found the restraint not to knock at her door each night. I could tell at Billy's concert something was bothering her. Her eyes held a certain sadness to them and there was only two things I could think of that might have caused that sadness, the first one was my kiss, the second one...I kept pushing that one out of my mind, not even wanting to consider it.

When Alice brought Bella down to our car, I tried to greet her with a warm smile, I was still wrapped up in that amazing memory of her kiss, but she was avoiding my eyes at all cost. She kept her gaze tightly on Alice and Jasper, briefly acknowledging my presence with a small nod of her head.

Without trying to be to obvious, I studied her quietly on the ride to Billy's concert. I half hoped that she was wrapped up in the memory of our kiss, but she looked so uneasy...and just so sad. I tried to talk myself out taking the blame for her sadness, telling myself that it wasn't me...wasn't our kiss that was making her act this way, but that didn't make me feel any better, because if it wasn't me...then that meant it was _him_...that she was feeling homesick, and it was like a blow to my gut when the thought flashed through my mind that she might be missing her husband.

I wanted to wipe that thought from my head, and hers too if that's what she was thinking.

The rest of the night didn't go any better. Nothing I did, or tried to do, put the light back in her eyes, or make her smile. I was actually relieved when Billy called me out...invited me to share the stage with him. I thought for sure that would make her brighten up... I tried to catch her eye and smile at her...but she seemed to get lost in the bodies that were crowding the side of the stage...I never got to make eye contact with her. By the time Billy's concert was over, I felt like a deflated balloon...and she was already gone, had left with Alice, and I spent the rest of my night wallowing in my own misery...

When Alice told me the following morning that I wouldn't be seeing Bella at all...that I had a team meeting with my writers most of the morning, and a press conference that evening, I was slightly pissed at her, half complaining about her booking me for the entire day without so much of a lunch break. Alice just narrowed her eyes at me and told me to shut it...this certainly wasn't the first time my days were completely filled, and I better remember that these meetings had been planned months ago and there was no way to reschedule them.

I finally layed off of her, knowing she was right. It was the slowest day that I could remember, I couldn't even send Alice over to Bella to keep her company as Alice herself had to be at these meetings with me. By the time I made it back to my suite it was nearly one am, and I knew there was no way Bella would be awake then. It still took all my willpower not to knock at her door...

My pacing eventually slowed, and I found myself facing that paneled door once more...

I stared at it...and stared at it some more...studying the tiny lines and grooves that ran across it...looking for some kind of strength, or sign...anything that would tell me it was okay to knock...my brain battled furiously with my heart...

So what if she was missing her husband...so what if she was sad and homesick...she was here now...and so was I...and I should be doing everything in my power to make her want to stay...

I think I surprised myself, not actually believing I was raising my hand and hearing four short raps against that door...

She didn't answer it right away...the silence and the seconds ticked by loudly. I was just about to knock again, when the door suddenly swung open.

I could only focus on her eyes, I mean they hypnotized me...drew me in like a moth to flame. They were large and brown, and just so sincere. Those eyes simply cried out to mine, and I wanted to fall down to my knees and beg her to forgive me...if it was that inexcusable kiss...or homesickness...or anything that might be bothering her...I wanted it gone.

"I...I..." I think I was stuttering...hell...I know I was stuttering. Every time I laid eyes on this woman I was a faltering mess. No wonder she wanted nothing to do with me.

"Uh...hi." Her expression didn't change, there wasn't a smile either, but just hearing her voice...that sweet angelic voice...it was enough of a kick in the ass I needed.

"Bella...hello...how are you this morning? I'm sorry I missed you yesterday, I hope Alice explained my absence, and how sorry I was not being able to spend time with you..."

Her eyes grew a bit wider at my words, they seemed to be searching my own for a second, then shot down to the floor. "That's okay. Alice already stopped by, helped me get ready for today. She told me...you had meetings...uh...a lot of meetings..."

A small piece of her hair fell loose over her shoulder at her words and I finally took a second to take her in. She stood before me as beautiful as a bluebonnet, this pretty light blue dress showing off her silky shoulders and perfect legs. There was a dark blue sash tied around her waist, the ends of the bow just hanging by her hip...teasing me...my fingers wanted to grab at those ends in the worst way...just untie her...like a present.

"I'm sorry. Sometimes...things don't always go my way..." I was being honest, still distracted by her beauty, "I would have rathered cancelled those meetings, but I've learned over time...I have to do what's expected of me..."

I didn't know if I was making any sense to her...or even if she was listening, her head was still down, seemingly deep in thought. Finally, she tilted it to the side and then lifted her eyes to mine. There was no expression on her face, no emotion portrayed, I just kept looking into her eyes...wishing I could pull her a little closer to me...let all the other emotions wash away from us so that it would be just us two...standing there.

"You don't have to apologize to me..." she was finally talking...picking her hand up slowly, her eyes never leaving my face, "I'm the last person you should apologize to." I cocked my head to the side at her words...she was struggling with something...

"You're so..." she kept right on starring at me. "_Perfect_," She almost frowned, "Why are you so perfect?" her last words were a whisper, but I heard them clearly.

Those weren't words of praise...she wasn't putting me down either, her tone was clear...it was just a question...just confusion...she had some sort of puzzle in her mind that she was trying to sort out. If only she knew the mess that I held in mine.

"It's something everyone expects me to be...something I _have_ to be..." I half shrugged at her. How could I even begin to explain something to her what I couldn't even explain to myself.

"Well I'm not perfect..." she said with conviction, "and I don't expect you to be either...you don't have to be perfect...not with me..."

Her words sounded like an apology...a peace offering.

"Deal?" she held out her hand to me. I could only blink my eyes at her, still wrapped up in some sort of confused mess. There was no time to think about it, ask any more questions. Without realizing it, my hand was stretching out to hers, I could feel her soft fingers wrapping around mine, the palm of her hand trembling ever so slightly. It wasn't until she smiled at me that I found my voice,

"_Deal_, Miss Bella."

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

My hands were shaking so hard.

When I heard that knocking coming from the paneled door my first instinct was that it had to be Alice, no way Edward would knock at that door, that's the only reason why I pulled it open.

Seeing Edward's face standing on the other end sent a shockwave through me...it stunned me at first, and then hearing his voice, and that accent...my brain started racing, I didn't want to stand there like a fool. He was talking...it sounded like stuttering almost, but the chaos in my mind didn't let me focus on that. I said the first words that came to my head...

"Oh hi..." I was still gripped with fear, it didn't lessen any when I heard him trying to explain his absence yesterday...explain himself. The look in his eyes troubled me. My heart wanted to believe he was sincere...my brain told me otherwise.

I really just wanted things to go back to the way they were before, before his closeness made everything so hard. I wanted him to know I was sorry, and that I wouldn't be acting like a starstruck teenager anymore. It would be professional...all of it.

So when I held out my hand to his...offering him my apology...hoping he would understand what it meant, and take it...the relief I felt when he accepted was enough to give me the courage to move on.

I tried to ignore the prickly sensation running through my spine at his touch...I tried to ignore his beautiful smile...that darn sexy accent...

I just smiled back at him, hoping my own smile assured him that things were back to normal...back under control...

* * *

><p>The screening room looked exactly like a movie theater, just on a smaller scale.<p>

A big wall sized screen graced one end, and there were at least ten rows of chairs.

There were already people sitting there chatting, some of the faces I recognized from the video shoot, others I had never seen before.

I could see Alice sitting with Jasper and Emmett, the three of them laughing and talking with a man I didn't know.

I walked slightly behind Edward who was greeted with warm hellos from everyone around him. Our awkward conversation from earlier now behind us, Edward seemed much more at ease. He introduced me to more people than I could ever remember, and while they were all gracious and welcoming, their eye's all held the same question, "Who is this girl, and why is she here?"

"Let's sit down here Bella. Jared has pieced together a template of sorts with different clips of our shoot, this is just the first draft, it should give us a good idea the direction our video will take." He waved his hand in front of the seat he wanted me to sit in, still smiling and nodding at the various men and women making their way to the seats around us.

I just smiled at him and sat down quickly, feeling a little out of place. Alice caught my eye, she was sitting two rows down from us, and she waved at me brightly, giving me a thumbs up sign.

Jared was the only one who wasn't sitting around us, he was sitting up out in the back with the film projector guy, holding a microphone.

"Allrighty folks, this is what we have so far. I'm not going to lead you through it, I more interested in the feelings it evokes when you watch it for the first time. We'll talk about that after...Go ahead and start it."

I sat up a little straighter in my chair as the lights dimmed. Everything was dark for a few seconds and the chattering in the room faded away. The first bursts of light made the screen a bold white, and then, off in the distance you could barely make it out...it was us.

Me and Edward.

It's hard to describe...imagine those old black and white films, the ones where it looks like the screen is cracking and flickering, and the reels keep replaying the same still over and over...well that's how it started...

It completely captured my interest from the first shot of light I saw. There was no sound, no music...just images...and I tried to to do what Jared asked, tried to just tune into my feelings...

I was just deeply...hopelessly attracted to him...you could see it all over my face. From the moment I saw myself of screen right up until the very end...that's all I could see...and I'm sure everyone else in this room could too.

My heart raced through the entire thing...every movement...every smile...and there it was...splashed across the screen near the end when Edward was picking me up and swinging me around...my heart leaped to my throat, and I was dying to see our kiss...to focus on Edward's face right before he kissed me, wondering if I was going to see affection or contempt flash through his eyes.

Edward sat very still, his attention completely focused on the scenes before him. It was hard not to ponder what might be going through his mind...if he anticipated our kiss scene as much as I did. I never turned my head to look at him, but kept stealing these little sideways glances through the corner of my eye.

I kept trying to concentrate on the film...acutely aware of Edward's presence at the same time. His sudden movements completely distracted me from the final scenes near the end. He shifted in his seat, his arm moving lazily from his lap and let the armrest support his hand. That would have been fine except that my arm and hand were already there. It was all my heart needed at the moment...the sudden warm feeling of his skin brushing against mine, the weight of his palm and fingers slightly overlapping my own fingers. My eyes lost focus of the screen and everything became one big blur.

He didn't move his hand, and maybe from a third person's viewpoint it would have looked completely innocent and pure, but it sent waves and waves of emotion coursing through me, making me suck in my breath.

It took everything I had not to show any emotion, not to jerk my hand away. It took every ounce of courage to keep my eyes on that screen...my heart pounding loudly in my own ears...I nearly doubled over with emotion when I finally saw it up there...larger than life...Edward kissing me...

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I wanted to hug Jared...that's how much I loved the video. He did a damned good job on it. He created a love story like no other...he made it look sophisticated and artful...thundering with emotion...capturing a setting that portrayed beauty and joy...and most of all...love.

And she looked gorgeous up there...sweet and precious, yet raging with sass and fire at the same time. It created a lump in my throat the second I saw her on the big screen...it was exactly what I wanted.

I was so glad to be sharing this with her...to be able to create this with her. I walked into this screening room feeling twelve feet tall, wanting to show her off, introducing her to everyone who came up to me.

I also knew, just as soon as those lights dimmed, I wanted her close to me. It was all I could do, not to throw my arm around those pretty shoulders...or wrap my hand around hers...anything that would let me pretend she was mine.

I savored watching her on screen...the same way I savored having her sit next to me. I knew there were only a few days left before I had to let her get on that plane and leave...and when she left, all I wanted was for her to want to come back...to keep coming back to me...

Seeing her leap into my arms laughing sent me spinning out of control, I wanted to feel her like that again...her warmth...her happiness, so mostly out of instinct, I stretched out my arm, resting it against hers, feeling the softness of her skin, letting my hand cover hers ever so slightly. I wanted this to be private...just between me and her...while everyone watched us pretend to fall in love on the big screen...this was going to be just ours.

She didn't pull her hand away...she didn't move, or turn her head towards me, or shift in her seat...she kept her eyes glued to the screen as I let the palm of my hand cover her fingers.

And finally, I was kissing her...up on that screen...and you could hear everyone in the room let out their breath, whispering their heartfelt approval to the ending of the video.

That's when I turned my head to her.

And she was looking back at me...her eyes full and dark...her mouth open just a hint...

That fire was raging in me...just the same way it had been during the video shoot...it was coursing through me, jumbling my mind...taking over my heart. I didn't tear my eyes away from hers...all I could do was squeeze her hand, trying to let her know how much she meant to me...how much I needed her...how badly I wanted _more_...

When the lights finally came back on everyone burst into applause, turning in their seats to face me and shake my hand. I was still trying to get myself under control, smiling back at everyone, picking up my hand in thanks. Bella was smiling, her cheeks a bright pink, she looked embarrassed at all the attention.

Jared came bounding down the steps, the look in his eyes one of a proud papa. "So...what does everyone think? Ed?" he turned to me first, still enjoying the reaction from those around us.

"I think you deserve an Oscar, Jared." I winked at him, letting him know how pleased I was.

"Damn! You hit the jackpot with that one." Jasper was pounding him on the back, nodding his head in approval.

"It was good. _Real good._ Once the music is attached to it, we're all going to have to buy new suits cause this one's gonna rake in the awards." Em turned and looked over at Bella, his smile bright, "And we have you to thank Miss Bella, cause Eddie can't act worth a darn..."

* * *

><p>I didn't want to leave her.<p>

We'd walked from the car up to our suites relaxed and full from the dinner Jared had dragged us all to after the screening. They couldn't stop talking about it...how good it was...how everyone was going to love it...how it was going to sweep the awards for sure.

Alice told us the second she had it complete in her hands it would get leaked out to GAC and CMT.

Jasper joked he'd better clean off his fireplace mantle for the next award he was sure he was going to get.

Jared was already breathing down my neck, wanting to know what song I was planning of releasing next so that he could start sketching out the next video.

I just grinned at all of them, and kept trying to catch Bella's eye. Whenever she looked at me I would smile and wink at her...try to let her know how much they all loved her...how great she was. And I loved seeing her blush every time.

So when it was finally just us two...walking towards her door...I didn't want to leave her.

"So this is what it's like..." she watched me as I pushed open her door for her.

"What it's like?" I watched her walk pass her door, trying to figure out a way to invite myself in. I didn't have to, she gestured me to follow her with a wave of her hand.

"To be famous..." she smiled, slipping out of her heels and settling down like a too small angel on that big sofa, tucking her feet underneath her.

Her words made me chuckle and I just shrugged at her, shoving my hands in my jeans, not sure if I should sit down next to her or not.

"Can I ask you something?" she was still smiling but her words sent this little shiver of anticipation through me, "Do you mind? If we talk a little bit?"

"Of course not..." I made my way over to reclining chair closest to her and sat down, "You can ask me anything."

"Alice says she thinks the video will get released by next week, you think that's true?"

I'm not sure what Bella was hinting at but I answered her as honest as I could, "Yes, Alice is usually right about things like that. You'll probably see yourself on TV next week."

Bella nodded quietly, her eyes glancing around the room before finally resting on mine, "And uhh...how do you...how do you tell your wife? About the videos I mean..."

Her words left me speechless...stunned and speechless.

I guess she mistook my shock for misunderstanding so she kept trying to explain herself.

"I mean...does she ever mind...the videos...how they look? I'm asking because...uhh...I'm going to have to tell Ja...my...uhh..."

And then I understood...what she was getting at. What her dilemma was. I tried not to let it anger me...her question was genuine...

"Tanya understands completely why every song needs a good video. She understands the importance of that." I was trying to keep my voice neutral...and still friendly.

"She never gets...uh..._mad_?"

"No she doesn't...she knows it's not...that we're not..." I didn't even want to say it...couldn't say it.

But Bella breathed a sigh of relief at my words, "It's just acting. That's what I'm telling Jake...it's just acting."

"Do you think he'll be angry?" my sudden curiosity got the better of me, I needed to know.

"Uh...I don't think so. I mean he's obviously seen music videos before...he knows how a lot of them go. I think he'll just be...surprised that's all." Her voice held doubt...it comforted and alarmed me at the same time.

"As long as he's not angry. As for the element of surprise, I can have Alice send you the video before it gets released, that way, the two of you can watch it privately." Just like we did, I thought.

"That would be nice. Thank you. I think that would make it easier...for him, I mean."

I was starting to see red. I did not want to make anything easier for this man or any other man in Bella's life. What I really wanted was to change the subject.

"Well there shouldn't be any problems with the next one." I offered matter of factly.

"The next one? You mean you already know?"

"Sure do." I smiled at her, loving the way her eyes would grow wide with awe.

"Well what's it about? Do I get to be in this one too?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way." I teased, trying to make her forget _him_, "The first one is serious...captures the heart. The second one...is to make them laugh."

"Laugh?" Her eyes grew even wider, tinged with suspicion, "Should I be worried?"

"Only if wearing coveralls and holding a pitchfork worries you Miss Bella." I tried not to chuckle, but she saw right through me...picking up one of the throw pillows next to her on the sofa and flinging it at me.

"Edward Cullen...you better not!" her voiced cracked with merriment, her eyes bright once again.

But it was the sound of her saying my name...it got me each and every time, sent my country heart leaping to my throat. "Are you saying no to the coveralls? Or just the pitchfork?" I kept trying to joke, but all I really wanted to do was jump up from my chair and pull her in my arms...

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

These were the times that I was pretty sure I was seeing the real Edward. The man Edward, not the country star. His eyes were so alive, his smile so big, and just the way he chuckled at me...so real.

He threw his hands up to block the pillow from landing on his head, it bounced of one of those broad shoulders and plopped over the armrest to the floor.

"I'm saying no to both!" I giggled, reaching for the second pillow to throw. "There has to be something better than coveralls...how about a pretty red dress? And instead of a pitchfork, I should be holding a lasso...and lassoing you!"

Edward laughed some more, this time catching the second pillow mid flight and tossing it back to me much more gently than I was throwing it to him.

"Lassoing me ehh pretty lady. Do you think I just let any woman lasso me?"

If I wasn't trying to get out of the pillow's way I would think he was flirting with me again. "I think I would be good at it too!" I declared, chucking the pillow once again in his direction.

"That's without question." He said matter of factly, sending the pillow back flying near my ear.

My brain suddenly went on high alert, but the tossing of the pillow was making it easy for me to keep playing this game, I actually wanted to keep doing it...to hear him say those things to me... "I'm sure you're not hard to catch at all..." I teased, letting my words hide behind the flying pillow.

Only this time he caught it, and didn't send it back. "Once you catch it, it's for keeps...you don't let it go."

Now there was nothing for me to hide behind, and he was watching me...holding onto that pillow...watching me.

"Ever?" I cocked my head to the side.

"Not ever." He shook his head, "Let me know when you're ready for a lesson."

This time when he tossed the pillow I didn't even attempt to catch it, and it landed in my lap.

"You'll be the teacher? You know how to do this?" I was sure we weren't talking about lassoing anymore, I was still dying to know his answer.

"I've never taught anyone how to do it...you'd be the first..." And even though I know I shouldn't be...I was extremely excited to hear those words.

"Well then...if we want this next video to look good, you'd better start those lessons Mr. Cullen..."

"My calender's clear tomorrow..." his voice was so silky smooth again...how I missed hearing that.

"Tomorrow?" I clutched the pillow to my body not wanting him to know how much his words affected me. "You mean here?"

"Tomorrow," he said, "This is Texas, after all..."

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I was looking forward to this morning all night long. I wasn't hard to find the perfect place to take her to. I wanted this to be fun for her, I didn't want her sweltering out in the hot sun, so this place would be the spot.

"Oh wow...it's so pretty!" Bella was more than animated looking out the window as our car drove up the long driveways of Don Strange Ranch.

"It's a great place..." I watched her expressions change with a broad smile, "This is where my buddy Blake and Miranda got married."

"What? On my God! Really? They got married here?" Now she was bouncing in her seat, taking in the scenery with new eyes.

"They sure did. And it was a blast. The music, the food, and you could literally swim in all the whiskey that was available." I chuckled.

"Were you here? Did you come?" Now she turned to me, leaning closer, still full of excitement.

"Yes Ma'am, I was here. Watched Blake drink more than any normal man should." I joked.

"Oh wow!" Then she wrinkled her nose at me, "Do you drink? I don't drink...it doesn't settle well with me. I once took a sip...I mean this teeny tiny sip of Jessica's beer and I was sooo sick. Yuck! It was awful. Never again..."

I think I just starred at her with my mouth open for a few seconds. She even stopped bouncing around and gave me this worried look, "That was the wrong thing to say wasn't it? You probably love drinking. I'm sorry I said that..."

"No...no...that's not it at all..." I was still just looking at her...still reeling from the shock that this incredible woman before me didn't drink...she was...just like me...

"Of course you drink...you even have a song about drinking...I'm sorry, I just forgot. Forget I said anything...so, what's your favorite drink?" she was trying to soothe things over but all I wanted to do is hug her.

"Bella. It's okay...perfectly okay." We were already pulling up to the large red wood ranch, "I know us country boys have a reputation for loving our alcohol...but for me, that's all it is...just a reputation...I don't actually drink the stuff. I'm not fond of it either...but that'll be our little secret okay?"

My words made her completely immobile, and she blinked at me as she was processing all this information.

"You don't like it either?" She tilted her head to the side.

"Not one bit. The whole singing and drinking thing...that's just part of the act."

"I can't imagine...I would've never guessed..."

"That's Alice, doing her job. No one ever guesses." I said with a wink.

Bella leaned back into her seat, still watching me, she was smiling now though, and her tone was back to playful, "What else don't I know about you Edward Cullen?"

But the driver was already opening our door to let us out.

* * *

><p>"First thing you need to know. No one calls it a lasso...this is a rope." I handed her the stiff nylon rope with a smile.<p>

"A rope?" she took if from my hands letting her fingers graze along all the little fibers.

"And when you catch something, you are roping...not lassoing...the only people who use the words lasso and lassoing are the city folks." I chuckled at her, watching her pretend to be offended.

"I'm not a city girl." Her eyes shot to mine briefly and then back down to her hands.

"I know that." I watched her, "I knew that the second I laid eyes on you."

"Really?" There was just a hint of playful sarcasm in her tone, "How did you know?"

"You knew all the words to my songs..." And I wasn't joking, "I saw you singing them...I knew no way a city girl would know the words to any of my songs."

That threw her off guard for a second, she didn't seem sure what to say, but then she smiled at me... "I don't even like the city...it's so big and noisy..."

"See..." I confirmed, "Small town girl at heart...doesn't like the city...doesn't drink...teaches small children...the perfect girl standing right here in front of me..." I spread my hands out around me.

Bella just giggled at me, turning the rope over in her hands, sliding her fingers across it one last time. She finally looked straight into my eyes, shaking the rope in her hands a little bit... "So how do I catch..._you_?"

* * *

><p><strong>You don't know how much I missed ya'll these last few weeks. Drop me a line and tell me how you're doing. Hope I didn't lose any of ya.<strong>

**XOXO  
><strong>

**MBella  
><strong>


	10. Don't You Wanna Stay

** Welcome Back! Sending warm hellos to everyone! Let's keep this baby going shall we?**

**Song of the day: Don't You Wanna Stay by Jason Aldean and Kelly Clarkson  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own all the Country goodness.  
><strong>

**Enjoy!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Baby when we're good, you know we're great...<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

The flight home was so long. I tried to close my eyes, leaning my head against the back of my chair, but sleep wouldn't come. My mind raced with all the memories it accumulated over the last two weeks. It replayed every smile, every touch, and it lingered over that kiss more that it should have.

I think the most fun I had were the roping lessons, or lack of them. We spent an hour, the most, on the actual lesson. I felt free here…it was just us two, and we were Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, just regular people. The better part of the day was even more magical, walking around the ranch grounds. Edward showed me all kinds of wonderful things…the petting zoo…the barn…and these majestic longhorn bulls.

We ate lunch there too, and the food was fabulous. There were halved avocados filled with bacon and other toppings, golden battered shrimp on a skewer, delicious chicken with mushrooms. It was all so beyond anything I had ever tasted.

After the sun began setting, that's when he led me down this small dirt path, away from the rest of the grounds. It was here that he seemed to open up a little bit about himself. It was almost as if the rustic scenery around him put him more at ease…made him feel at home.

His stories fascinated me…and the light in his eyes was undeniable…

"My high school was pretty small…maybe about two hundred kids. Since we lived way out in the middle of nowhere, we all knew each since we were babies. I didn't play any type of music till I was eight years old. My grandfather gave me his old guitar for Christmas that year. I actually didn't want it at first…"

I walked along next to him trying to imagine him as a young boy. I could almost see it, the messy mop of dark hair…those smiling green eyes…that mischievous grin…"You're grandfather played?" I asked looking up at him, still lost in the pictures in my mind.

"Yes he did…he learned how to play when he was just a boy…he always believed every child should know how to play something…_anything_…because once you possessed a talent like that…no one could ever take it away from you…it would be yours forever…" Edward adjusted his baseball cap over the top of his head again, turning it around, wearing it backwards…somehow making it look even more adorable on him.

"You're grandfather sounds like a very smart man." I smiled, wishing I could reach up and touch his jaw…"Did he teach you how to write songs too?"

"No…I learned that on my own. My journal was my first writing tool…I guess in the beginning I wrote about what I thought other people might like to hear…now I write about me…"

Everything he said…every story he told me, just drew me closer to him. The more I learned about him, the harder it was to find a flaw…he was like a diamond…_flawless_…

Our last evening together Edward explained why he wouldn't be flying out with me home…that his next concert was closer to the eastern end of the US, not anywhere near Washington. We were going in opposite directions.

It was harder than I thought…saying goodbye. My heart literally hurt, but I tried to ignore it best I could. I wasn't supposed to feel this way.

We both stood outside the penthouse door…the doorman already had taken my bags down to the service car. I didn't want to walk away…from anything…

Edward seemed just as torn, he kept looking over to the door and back to me, his beautiful eyes so serious, "I'll get in touch with you just as soon as were ready for the next video…I'm aiming for four to five weeks from now. I'll be in Vegas then…I think you'll have fun there. You ever been to Vegas, Miss Bella?"

"No. I shook my head; I could hardly contain my excitement at the thought of being in Vegas with Edward.

"A lot to see and do…but us country folk are pretty tame there. You'll be amazed at all the talent you see in Vegas…it's overflowing…but there's beauty too…you'll fit right in…" And the look in his eyes…it just tore at me.

I wanted to fling my arms around him and hold him tight, whisper in his ear that I couldn't wait…but instead I just held out my hand and thanked him for all he'd done for me. Told him to have a great next concert…

The second I slipped inside the service car everything seemed to slow down…I wanted to be excited about Vegas, but first I had to get through the flight home…the release of this video…and Jake.

Jake hadn't returned from his latest haul yet. I touched down at the airport alone. I was grateful for that, it gave me just a little bit more time to contain my thoughts…contain my feelings.

Over and over in my head I tried to figure out how I was going to present this video to Jake…how I was going to describe my experience, how I was going to hide my feelings…

When I walked back into my little house I felt like an entirely different person. The kitchen seemed too small…my living room old and shabby…even my bed…it just looked so different.

My world had changed, and I had changed with it.

I was restless at first…going through all the rooms of my house looking for something to do with my time. No matter what I did, I couldn't take my mind off of Edward.

There was one other thing that happened in front of that penthouse door…reflexively, my hand closed over the two items Edward had given me.

"This here is your new cell phone. It has everybody's numbers in it, including mine. It's supposed to be work related but I'm planning on using it to keep in touch with you. You can call any of us, anytime…Alice…Jasper…Em… me…we're all on there…"

The other item he presented to me much more delicately, as if he realized how wrong it could possibly look…

"This is a little bit different. It's mandatory issued…we all have one…Alice uses it the most…your card is unlimited in funding…you can use it for company and personal use…consider it a perk if you will. You'll find out that Alice often will call you at the very last minute requesting you to have a certain piece of clothing or accessory in your possession for an event or video shoot, that's when you'll be glad you have this. There are no restrictions…you can use it for anything…lunch…go to a movie…shopping…"

I could only nod my head, my mind spinning from it all. The credit card already had my name on it, and when he placed it in my hand, I could tell he was placing his trust in there too.

Jake was due home the next morning so I spent one more night alone, in my bed, not sure what tomorrow was going to bring.

The dreams I had that night were all about Edward, the dreams were like pictures floating all around me…showing me his warmth and smile…the way he would tilt his head to the side and chuckle…the way his hand brushed over mine…and I woke up the next morning as troubled as I had been the night before.

I began to get real restless hours before Jake was to arrive. I was sure Jake was going to walk through our front door, take one look at me and know…_just know_…and that caused me more anxiety as the minutes ticked away.

But when he finally pulled up, he breezed through the front door all smiles, tossing his bag down near the table and headed straight for me.

"Bella!" He stretched his arms around me, "I missed you!"

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

This was fucking torture. I hated it…fucking hated it, and I could tell everyone around me hated it too, because I was just fucking horrible. And the only person who could change my temper was hundreds of miles away.

"You have five freakin' minutes before you have to get out on that stage…put your hat on!" Alice was this close to losing it with me. I didn't even have my first guitar ready…_hell_; I didn't even know where my hat was.

"Where is it? Who has my fucking hat?" I just glared at Alice, waiting for my hat to magically appear.

"No one has your fucking hat Edward. It's hanging where it always hangs, now pull it together and come on!"

Not even being on the stage made me feel better. I was a mess…I even flubbed the lyrics to my songs twice. Thankfully the crowd didn't really care and just cheered me on anyways, thinking I was just goofing off with them. Jasper kept looking at me with worried eyes and he danced all around that stage more than normal, making sure the crowd stayed entertained.

I was so fucking glad when it was over and I was back on my bus, heading for the next venue. All it meant to me was that it was another day I could cross off my calendar…another day closer to when Bella would return.

On the eighth day Alice snapped. I had made her job harder than usual, she kept having to clean up after me…the flubbed lyrics…the late concert starts…the lack communication I had with my fans through Twitter and whatnot. She had enough of it.

"What the hell is going on? You can't keep doing this Edward…there's still weeks before she comes back. The video is going to be released tomorrow…_tomorrow_! And all anyone is going to be talking about is your damned flubbed lines and your late concert starts. It has to stop…think about it…if you want Bella to be a star, you better had shape up because no one is going to care about her if you are acting like an ass."

I guess that's what I really needed to hear. Alice knew I would never put Bella second…

"I know Alice…you're right. I'm sorry. This is just so fucking hard. Tell me what I need to do…I'll do anything…"

"I already took care of Twitter for you…it's full of mystery and fun, kinda teasing…about the video release…that'll keep em on their toes. As for the singing, I had Seth tell the press you were just tired, a little under the weather. But you can't keep doing it ok. On the bright side, I have a surprise for you." She smiled brightly at me, capturing my attention immediately.

"Surprise? What surprise?" I wouldn't even let myself go there…the fantasy of Bella walking into the room…it would be such a letdown.

"She just wanted to thank you…for sending her the video early. She sent you this…" Alice tossed me a flash drive, it flew through the air and I caught it easily, "You can watch it later…right now I need you to hurry up and finish getting dressed. We go on in an hour."

I don't think I even waited for Alice to walk out of the room, I was already plugging that baby into my laptop, anxious to know what she said…what she did…

She was beautiful…and all smiles.

"Hi Edward! Alice helped me make this for you. I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you, and thank you so much for sending me out the video. It was so amazing to watch, and with the music…_your music_…you really outdid yourself. I can't wait to see you again…" My heart leaped at the sight of her and I grinned at the screen like a lovesick fool, just before she waved bye, she giggled…that perfect angelic laugh… "And your twitter…it's so cute and funny…you have a new follower…" she winked.

And then she was gone…but it was enough…to get me through tonight, because the whole world would see her tomorrow…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Jake hated it…I could see it in his eyes. He actually looked away at the end, his gaze shifting to somewhere over our computer screen.

I tried the best way I could to explain it to him. He didn't know that the second I got that video in my email inbox, I watched it over and over, all by myself. And every time I saw it, I loved it even more. Edward's music just made it a hundred times better. Jared made a few changes to it…it was slightly different from what we saw in the screening room, but it still made my skin tingle and my heart jump. Edward looked devastatingly gorgeous in it, and once you actually saw him singing…it was just…swoon.

But Jake didn't care for it. I didn't think he would, since he critiqued it right from the beginning…

"Is that you?" He squinted at the screen, "That doesn't even look like you. Who did that to your hair?"

I tried to keep my voice as neutral as possible, "Well it's not really supposed to be me, Bella, it's supposed to be a character…" I didn't know how else to explain to him that emotionally, the girl he was looking at wasn't the same girl sitting next to him right now.

"Why are you dressed like that? Did they _want_ you to look eighteen?" He burrowed his eyebrows together in a frown.

"It's just a character…" I said again wanting to get up from my chair and walk away, I couldn't enjoy watching it...not with Jake.

And in the end, he stayed deathly quiet…not moving…starring at the spot on the wall above the computer without a word. Finally, he moved up from his chair, pushing it back roughly…

"I like the music." That's all he would say, "At least you're getting paid…"

* * *

><p>Alice called me frequently.<p>

Edward did not.

I loved talking to Alice, she would tell me the funny stories of the band as they moved from venue to venue. She said Edward lost his train of thought in Florida and totally flubbed his lyrics, Jasper complained that they didn't have enough time to go to Disneyworld, and gasp, that Em met a girl…a real pretty girl named Rose, who was making him crazy.

She also gave me advice; on what to do once our video went viral. I assured her that no one in this town would probably care, but she just laughed and told me to get ready for the ride.

I spent more and more time looking forward to our talks and less time worrying about my schooling or job. I even breathed a sigh of relief when Jake left once again on his long hauls.

Alice and I began making plans for Vegas. While time wasn't passing very fast at all, Alice kept me busy planning my wardrobe for every single event she could think of.

"You definitely need a little black dress…not just any black dress…a real sexy one. I'm going to send you a couple of links through your email, buy at least two…three would be best, you don't want to be seen in the same dress twice."

"What do I need a sexy dress for?" I asked, wondering if it was for some sort of event that was planned…maybe, Edward's plan…

"Every gal in Vegas needs a sexy black dress Bella…" Alice chirped over the phone, "I guarantee you people are going to notice you there…"

I didn't tell her that I highly doubted that…people would notice Edward, that I was sure of…no one would notice me…

I always wanted to ask her about Edward, wondered if he talked about me…or missed me at all, if he looked forward to Vegas as much as I did. I guess I thought it would make me sound too bold or needy or something.

"Tomorrow's the big day. I already know CMT will be airing it at 8:30am, their production guy has a crush on me and he told me everything." Alice laughed into the phone, "GAC doesn't know that yet, their airing it at 9am, and they think they are first, so it's going to be quite the surprise."

"You're making me nervous Alice. I can't remember when I've been this nervous. Is Edward nervous?" The last part just slipped out. I just needed to say his name out loud.

"I think he's more nervous _for_ you…and that he can't be there to protect you from the mobs of fans you are going to have. Bella…has he called you yet?"

"No." I didn't know what else to say.

"_The hell_…" Alice was mumbling to herself, "no wonder he's been such a mess. I'll fix that for you."

"You'll what?" I questioned, not too sure what she was going on about.

"He's going out of his freaking mind over here. He totally needs to call you. I'm going to kick his ass the second I see him!" Her words were just adding to my confusion…but they excited me at the same time.

"Okay." I half laughed into the phone.

"Alright…it's late. Go to bed Bella, I'll have Edward call you in the morning, 8:30am, don't forget!" her voice, once again, cheerful and animated.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"You haven't called the poor girl. What are you waiting for? The biggest moment of her life is about to happen and she's all alone. You damn better well call her before 8:30."

Alice was lecturing me again, but I didn't mind at all. She was giving me the perfect excuse…to call Bella, which was partly why I was so angry…I missed hearing her voice, but never could figure out a good enough excuse to call her.

The country music world was all abuzz. Rumors and whispers were going round about a brand new video; it was going to take everyone by surprise, and the artist who was in it…a total treat for his fans.

I was loving it. I had tweeted enough hints that my fans were blowing up my twitter feed, my website page, and Facebook. The radio kept playing _Broken_ and it had flown right up into the top twenty in just the one week it was released. I couldn't remember the last time everyone was so worked up over a song, and I was damned pleased that it was my song…Bella's song.

So at 8:05 am, I gave Bella a call.

"Hello?" Her voice sounded heavenly to my ears.

"Hello beautiful." I couldn't help myself, "Are you ready for your big day?" I found it easier to say how I felt when she wasn't actually standing right in front of me.

"Edward! Hi! I'm so nervous. Are you nervous?" There was just a little shake to her voice, but it still sounded perfect, and sent a shiver down my spine.

"I'm excited, for everyone to finally see _you._ You're perfect in it, you shouldn't be nervous at all."

She just giggled, and then gave a small sigh, "It's so nice to hear your voice. How have you been?"

"I've been…okay." I paused into the phone. What I really wanted to say was: _I missed you baby…Vegas can't come fast enough. _

Instead I said, "We left Florida today…heading back toward the West Coast. When we finally hit Vegas, we're playing at Mandalay Bay, I'm going sing_ Broken_ there live, our video is going to come out in the background."

"Oh…" The pitch in her voice suddenly went high; "You just made me more nervous." She laughed.

"Don't be…you're stunning. Are you ready? Just a few more minutes." I half teased her, enjoying these precious moments I had with her. It was just us two…about to share something incredible…together.

"I'm ready. I have the channel on." Her voice shook a little more. CMT was already announcing the surprise premier.

We stayed silent for the three minutes as it aired. I tried watching it with new eyes, trying to see it for the first time like everyone else. It was still hot; she was still breathtakingly gorgeous in it. I knew everyone was going to be talking about her…

"That was Edward Cullen's new single, _Broken_. The talk of Nashville right now folks is how fast this single is climbing up the charts, and here's the million dollar question everyone's asking…who's that pretty brown haired girl in the video? And is she single?" Evan Farmer's smiling face flew across the screen, he fell for it just like I thought he would, and I was immensely glad CMT got a hold of the video first.

"You see…" I hoped Bella could hear the pride in my voice, "You see…they all want to know who _you_ are. They could care less about me…"

Bella half laughed on the other side of the phone, I could hear her breathing, and her sigh of relief. "At least it's over." She whispered.

"It's only just starting, Miss Bella." I replied.

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

If anyone ever told me that three minutes could change your life, I wouldn't have believed them.

Now, I did.

I couldn't even walk into Mr. Cutler's store without everyone starring and whispering, pointing at me as they hid behind the rows of soft drinks, or bags of chips.

And this wasn't even a country music area. But gossip spreads fast; there were two co-workers from my preschool who heard from a friend that they saw me on TV. Another lady from town heard from her cousin who happened to live in the South that, that Forks was the place that Edward Cullen's video girl was from…

I began to feel more and more out of place, at home…at school…and at work. I spent most of my time mentally checking off the days until I would get back on that plane, and back into Edward's life.

Jake would come and go. When he was gone I would relax…spend my hours browsing online, reading every article I could find about Edward. When Jake came home, my days would shift…I always tried to revert back to the Bella I was before…but it was hard.

There were brief moments at home where everything would feel normal. Jake and I would have dinner together at our dining room table and talk about normal stuff, his work…the places he visited, and the people he met…where the next place he would be driving out to. He didn't worry so much about money anymore…he didn't have to, but the worry lines never left his face. I avoided talking about Edward, or the video, or country music altogether, and Jake wouldn't say his name.

But the days came closer to when I had to leave again, so I hesitantly brought it up one morning…

"My flight leaves in two days." I tried to say this as casually as possible. We were eating breakfast. I made pancakes with blueberries…I knew Jake loved those…

Jake looked up from his plate sharply, a small frown on his face, "Where did you say you were going this time?"

"Nevada…Las Vegas." I hoped he wouldn't put up a fuss about that.

"I bet that'll be fun." There was sarcasm in his voice, I could hear it. He pushed his plate away from him, looking up at me again, "There won't be any kissing in this one you think? I wasn't too fond of having him kiss you."

That was the first time I heard Jake talk about the kiss. "I'm not sure…" I quickly went on, "I don't think so. Besides, it wasn't real…" I tried to stall… "It just looked real, but it really wasn't."

"Real or not real…I didn't care for it." He stood from the table, leaving half his food behind. "I have to leave after lunch, I'll just pack a sandwich. When it's time for you to go, be careful, and give me a call when you get there." His words were heavily guarded and I struggled with my guilt, knowing he had every right to say what he did.

But the morning of my flight, I couldn't stop smiling. I literally breezed through the airport, looking for Alice, anxious to board Edward's plane and see him.

Alice was easy to spot. She jumped and squealed when she saw me, and I greeted her like a long lost friend.

"I missed you!"

"Oh Bella, we all missed you so much! You wouldn't believe how much your absence was felt."

We walked through the gates and towards the doorway. Alice kept right on chatting, "Edward was a total bear, I wanted to strangle him. And I had to deal with this Rose girl all by myself; she's awful Bella, just wait and see. I don't know what Em sees in her…"

I kept nodding and smiling at Alice but all I wanted to do was bust through those plane doors where I knew Edward would be waiting.

"I can't wait til we hit Vegas…I always love going there…I booked the spa at Mandalay Bay…the morning of Edward's concert. He'll be at rehearsal anyways. Their spa is awesome…you're going to love being pampered. They have the best seaweed wrap…"

But I wasn't listening to her anymore…we were on the plane and all I could see was Edward's gorgeous, smiling face. He was standing up near the isle, his tee shirt untucked and his baseball cap backwards again. A chuckle escaped him when our eyes met…I wasn't thinking…I couldn't help myself…the last five weeks had been so long…I could feel the grin break across my face and I half skipped down the isle towards him. I don't know what he expected but I hoped he wasn't unhappy when I threw my arms around him and hugged him tight.

He just laughed and hugged me back, his arms lifting me up slightly off the ground.

We both could hear Alice's giggles as she brushed by us, throwing her arms in the air, mumbling to herself, "At least there'll be some peace around here now…"

"Bella! How are ya beautiful!"

And it was wonderful to hear his voice again… and see his eyes…his smile…and that accent…it was like I was home…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

It was pure bliss, having her nestled in my arms. She completely took me by surprise with her hug, made me feel weak and powerful at the same time. I didn't hesitate one second to pull her closer to me and lift her off the floor, breathe in her scent and feel her body pressed against mine. For that split second we were acting like long lost lovers being reunited again, and I reveled in it.

"Edward…" she was all smiles, looking up at me with those big brown eyes of hers, "It's so good to be back."

"Are you ready for Vegas, Miss Bella? I promise no coveralls or pitchfork." I said with a wink.

She just laughed some more, looking completely happy and content. All my worry and doubts that she might not return, vanished, replaced with excitement and the thrill of sharing a new adventure with her.

"I'm ready." She bounced on her tiptoes, her hair swinging around her shoulders, "I'm more than ready."

Our flight was quick and comfortable, both of us taking turns chatting about our long weeks, our work, the incredible success of our video. Everyone was still talking about it…_Broken_ climbed the charts steadily and finally made number one. The video hit number one weeks ago and it still lingered there, week after week, beating out the other videos.

Vegas was all lit up when we arrived in the late evening. Our driver weaved through the strip; there were mobs of people walking along the sidewalks, some spilling out into the streets. Bella's eyes grew wider and wider as she took in the sights before her.

"This is one of my favorite places to play." I leaned closer to her, half whispering in her ear.

"It is? Why?" She turned slightly to me, still not taking her eyes off the grand sights before her.

"This is the only place I feel like a rock star." I joked. She turned to me with a startled gasp and then bumped my shoulder with a laugh.

"A _roping_ rock star…I can see it now." She teased, glancing once again out the window, "Is it just my imagination, or do you see those half naked women out there too?" she questioned.

"Those women are quite conservative compared to what you are going to see later." I was still chuckling, "But don't worry, we don't mingle with them."

Bella was still fascinated with her surroundings when we arrived at our hotel. There was one thing I really liked about Vegas…it was the one place where I could walk around, even in broad daylight, and no one ever bothered me.

So I took her right through the casino…past the blackjack tables and all the slot machines. Her eyes looked like silver dollars, and I don't think I even saw her blink. My heart was literally floating on air…

The best kept secret of Mandalay Bay are the exclusive private penthouse rooms owned by Four Seasons on the top three floors, and to my delight and sheer luck, the only penthouse that was available to me was the family penthouse…four bedroom…three bath…with a shared living and dining room. Bella and I would be able to see much more of each other here.

Bella was chatting happily on our elevator ride up, she was telling me about one of her preschool boys who's mother always dressed him in western wear. Her story made me smile inside because I knew she was seeing the world in a whole different way now.

"The cutest thing is his little belt buckle. I mean it actually looks too big for him, too heavy, I'm afraid he's going to tip over…" she giggled and smiled at me when I chuckled with her.

"What do you think his Mom would say if you showed up with genuine cowboy hat for this little guy? Or maybe some spurs?"

"From you?" She looked up at me wide eyed, "If it's from you, I think his Mom just might faint…"

I chuckled again, wanting to pull her closer to me, "Well we can't have fainting going on in preschool…that just won't do…"

Bella's laugh was cut short when the elevator doors whirred open and there before us was pure luxury that only the Four Seasons could offer.

"Is this where we're going to be staying?" she breathed, stopping short in her tracks…her hand flying up near her throat.

"Yes Ma'am…our room is the one furthest right…this way…" I tried to lead her, taking a step and a half, but she was still frozen in place. I paused, and turned slightly, looking back at her. "Come on Miss Bella…this way…"

She still didn't move. "Oh…" was all she could say, and I gave in to the overwhelming urge that flew through me, taking that half a step back and reaching out for her hand.

When our hands touched, her eyes flew to mine still tinged with shock, but her fingers closed around my hand tightly, and she let me lead her to our door. It was only paces away but it made me feel like a new man…like I was _her_ man…and there was no better feeling in the world…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I'm pretty sure my heart stopped. What I was looking at…it had to be a dream…this couldn't be real.

It was like stepping into a living garden…lush greenery everywhere…huge crystal chandeliers glistening like diamonds…a blooming array of colorful flowers…marble floors…gold lined walls and ceilings…granite buffets offering every drink and delicacy imaginable.

There were a few handsomely dressed men and women lingering about, chatting quietly. They had a regal air to them, and I'm guessing all that sparkling jewelry the women were wearing was definitely real…

Edward's warm hand jolted me out of my stunned state. I looked up at him in surprise and shock…but still instinctually held onto his hand. This place was way out of my league.

The room he led us to was just as gorgeous. Edward didn't let go of my hand until he led me all the way into the living room. He turned to me and smiled.

"Do you like it?" his beautiful eyes were searching mine, waiting for an answer. I could only nod my head at him. He chuckled.

"Do you need to sit down? Or would you like to look around?"

I just nodded some more.

His laugh lingered in the air and finally I found my voice.

"Is this where we're staying?" I began to glance around me, looking at the intricate paintings that hung near the fireplace.

"Yes it is," Edward smiled some more at me, "this is the family suite, lots of room for us both…"

His words began to sink into my brain…

"Room for us both? Is it like the one in Texas? A door?" I wasn't sure if he was saying what I thought he was saying…

"A little different," he took a couple of steps towards me, "the right wing holds your bedroom suite, the left wing holds mine…this here, is the common area…we'll share it…"

"Share it?" I raised my eyebrows uncertainly; I could feel my hands start to shake.

"I hope that's okay with you. This was the only room available for us…It's really quite large…" he stopped right in front of me, looking down at me with those eyes…it sent my brain spinning, "We'll be able to work together better, and then maybe, if you'd like to, we could share a few dinners here…"

I was willing my face to smile back at him, I don't know if I was or not…he was standing so close, I could smell his cologne…rugged, earthy, and just delicious.

"Alice will be stopping by quite a bit…we won't always be alone…" his voice trailed off and I could see he was waiting for me to say something.

"Umm…I…this is beautiful," I picked up both hands, swinging them around me, "I think, it's perfect." I finally looked back up into those eyes, my heart thumping a mile a minute.

He seemed to let out his breath then, and reached out and touched my hand briefly, "Come on…let me show you your room."

With each room I just felt more and more in awe…stunned…it was all so beautiful…so personal…so private. My imagination was spiraling out of control…pretending that this was our home…our brand new home. It set my nerves on end and sent waves of guilt flowing through me. But it still didn't stop me from following Edward around…watching how easily he moved from room to room…how happy he looked…how his eyes would shine as he talked, and how every now and then, he would reach out and touch my hand.

That's how I knew this was real…

And that little voice in the back of my head…it kept whispering to me…telling me that somehow…someway…things were going to change here in this place…in Vegas…I just wasn't sure how...but I knew they were…and I knew that I wouldn't be able to stop them…stop _him_…

* * *

><p><strong>Stay with me everybody...I won't make you wait much longer... ;)<strong>

**XOXO  
><strong>

**MBella  
><strong>


	11. Get Your Shine On

**Hello out there! Hope I'm not talking to myself! Happy to be back. **

**Moving on...  
><strong>

**Song of the day: Get Your Shine On by Florida Georgia Line. I "steal" some of the lyrics to this song in this chapter...I'm not a songwriter, it was easier this way. :)  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I wish I owned Luke Bryan (who's mentioned here. :P) I own all the other country goodness.  
><strong>

**Enjoy!  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>Rock you strong in these arms of mine...<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I admit it…I imagined our first night together to turn out a bit differently than it really did. I was thoroughly pleased at Bella's initial reaction to our suite, that bright look in her eyes, her sparkling smile breaking across her face as she took in her surroundings.

She looked perfect standing there all bright and beautiful, shining in only the way she knew how.

But what I didn't expect was the sudden shyness to her demeanor, or the way her eyes shifted, avoiding my own. She made an excuse and hid away in her room for the next two hours while I paced and worried back in mine. We only exchanged half a dozen words before her face flushed a deep rose, and then she was gone. Was I pushing her too far…too fast?

The thought tortured me as the minutes ticked by, and by the end of the first hour you could already see the dent in the fibers of the carpet my boots created.

Finally, I grabbed the only thing that could soothe me…besides Bella. My fingers wrapped around the smooth wood, and I pushed open my bedroom door making my way over the common living room. I settled down on one the soft leather sofas, propping my guitar on my lap, and began to strum a few notes.

It was random…a few strokes of _Broken_…but mostly I played the chords to my next single…keeping it slow…steady…merging them together, creating a whole new melody…they floated through the air, like whispers…circling across the room before fading away.

I'm pretty sure it was the music that made Bella step into the foyer. One second it was empty, the next; the most beautiful vision was standing before me, her head tilted to one side…just listening.

She looked lost in it…lost in the deep chords…in the notes that I could almost see swirling around her head. It was all the encouragement and inspiration I needed to keep playing…keep trying to draw her to me…

And it worked.

She stood there for a few moments more before she quietly made her way across the room and sat down gently on the other end of the sofa, careful as not to disturb me.

I wouldn't look her way at first…I was afraid if I did, it would make her stop…make her turn away. So I kept my eyes glued to my fingers, not really focusing on them, nor listening to my music. I was completely tuned into _her_… her presence…her breathing. Every one of my senses was on high alert, trying to gauge her mood…wondering if she liked what she heard.

When I was finally convinced that she was there to stay, I restrained the quickness of my fingers…drew out the notes a little longer before slowing them down until they couldn't be heard any further.

"That was beautiful," she breathed, her eyes shining with admiration. She sat sideways, her bare feet tucked underneath her.

"Thank you." I let my eyes rest on hers, trying not to get lost in them…in her.

"Are you working on something new?" Her eyes moved quickly over mine, then down to my hands.

"A little bit…just fine tuning a few things." I shifted slightly in my seat, wanting to lean into her in the worst way, "I guess I'm just searching for inspiration right now. I never know when it's gonna hit me…it just does…"

She nodded then…as if she understood, resting her elbow on the back of the sofa, she seemed to take a quick breath, and looked right into my eyes, "Inspiration. It must be these great big life-changing events that inspire you huh? Like getting married? Having babies?" Her voice trailed off a bit, and maybe the mention of marriage should have made me uncomfortable, but for some reason, it didn't right then.

I should have told her that the song she just heard was written because of her…because of the way I saw her…that she was the greatest inspiration a man could ask for…

"A lot of singers write about those major life events," I gave her a half grin, sliding my guitar a little lower onto my lap, "Sometimes I write about them too, but I like to write about different things…things that _shine_…things that are real…things nobody ever thinks about…sometimes the little things are all the inspiration I need."

I could tell her smile was real, and she moved in her seat, just a tiny bit closer to me. "Does Vegas inspire you?" She asked, her long fingers sprayed out on the leather cushion, sliding over it absentmindedly, "Do you find things that inspire you here, Edward?"

_I found you_…I wanted to answer…_You inspire me here, baby_…"Vegas probably has a whole lot of elements that can create inspiration, but right now, I can only think of one." I told her, as truthfully as I could.

She didn't answer me then. Just watched me silently before reaching up and pushing some of her hair off of her face. Just the sight of her doing that nearly made me groan.

"And when you think of it…what happens? Does it just come to you?" Curiosity was written all over her face, "The lyrics? The music?"

I wanted to chuckle…and confess…so badly. "Words are words…they don't mean anything unless you can feel them. The best songs…no matter what they might be about…all make you feel something." I wanted to stretch my hand along the back of the sofa to meet hers, just to touch her…to feel her.

"You're _so good_ at that." Her words sent a shuddering jolt down my spine. "Every time I hear you sing…it's just so…so…touching…" her voice lowered some, but she was still watching me, waiting…

I didn't want to _say_ thank you…I wanted to _show_ her…so I pulled my guitar up once more, loving the smile that broke across her face, softly singing a few lyrics to _Broken_, finally letting myself get lost in her eyes. They were so full and round, growing wider with each word…just dancing and shining…telling me a story of promise and hope.

When I finished, I had such a crazy urge to just push that guitar off my lap and onto the floor…to reach out and pull her right onto me…to tell her what I was feeling.

"She's so lucky…" Bella was shaking her head at me, putting one hand over her heart as she spoke.

I stopped short, "What?" I blinked, unsure what she was trying to say, still fighting the urge to kiss her, "Who?"

"Your wife…" Bella nodded once more, her eyes still boring into mine, "She can listen to you sing any time she wants…it must be…so incredible…to be your wife, I mean…"

I just sat there stunned…so taken aback by what I was hearing. A million emotions flying through me…If only she really knew…what it was like…I knew I couldn't keep Bella in the dark any longer. "Tanya doesn't care for my music," I said matter of factly, still trying to push back the surprise, "She's never been fond of the country sound. She hardly listens to it…"

Now it was Bella's turn to blink, her eyes growing wide…and I swore I saw coldness sweep along them as she gasped with disbelief, "She doesn't like it?" The pitch in her voice went very high.

"Not really." I shook my head, carefully keeping my feelings for Tanya from bubbling to the surface.

"But…but…why not? I mean it's so beautiful…and you're so…I mean…" She was at loss for words, struggling to understand, yet not being able to.

"Music is a matter of preference." I stuck to facts…not wanting to create sympathy, still keeping my secret carefully guarded. "Tanya never listened to country music before she met me, and she never listened to it after…she just has different tastes, that's all."

"But doesn't she know…I mean, aren't your songs about her? The ones about love, how can she not adore them?" I could hear the frustration in her voice, and fuck I wanted to tell her then…

"Not a great many things or people are the inspiration to my songs Bella." I placed my guitar down next to my side, letting it rest against the sofa. I wanted to tell her that Tanya never inspired me…never…not even once. "My son inspires me…my parents inspire me…my love for the outdoors inspires me…" I stopped. If I continued it was all going to come out…and I just didn't know if Bella was ready for that yet.

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

My mind was spinning, and my heart was torn. I just sat there in frozen disbelief listening to Edward tell me without a trace of emotion in his voice, that his wife didn't like his music. That she didn't inspire him…wasn't a part of his wonderful gift.

It made me ache in a way I never felt before, and a tiny seed of anger formed in the pit of my stomach at the same time. Did this woman not know the rare beauty of the man sitting across from me? How could she not even attempt to care about his music?

"But not your wife?" I asked him, half wondering why this conversation was making me so angry.

I walked into that penthouse more nervous than I'd ever been before. Not knowing what was going to happen in that room…seeing that look in Edward's eyes as he stood there in front of me explaining that we were going to be in this suite together. It sent shills of expectation and waves of guilt down my spine at the same time.

It worried me…not so much what Edward might want from me…but the fact that I was beginning to doubt myself…doubt how much control I had left…

So I gave him this flimsy excuse about needing to change and went to my room to hide. I paced the floor, my heart filled with anxiety, trying to sort out what was running through my head. This was getting more and more difficult every time I saw him.

I half made up my mind to keep my distance this time around…not let him get to close. But a few simple sounds coming from the living room jumbled my thoughts and turned me around without me even realizing it.

It was beautiful…what I was listening to…just beautiful. Tiny, haunting notes teasing my ears with the most heart wrenching melody.

When I reached the foyer I stopped and just listened to him play. He didn't see me; he was concentrating, looking down at his hands, his baseball cap placed backwards on his head.

He looked gorgeous…and so serious. I started to wonder if the music I was hearing was something that he was working on. I swore I could hear bits of _Broken_ in there, but there were other things too…stuff I never heard before.

It was like a magnet…the pull…with every sound that hit me, it just made me want to be that much closer to him, so after a few seconds I found myself moving towards him, trying to find the perfect spot so I could just sit there and watch him.

He kept right on playing, and it almost felt like he knew what he was doing to me…the way his songs called to me. My heart felt like it would burst.

But all that changed when we started talking, and when I found out that his own wife didn't appreciate the gift that he had…it created a torrid of anger in me that I didn't even know I possessed.

He didn't seemed phased by it at all…by the fact that his wife didn't listen to his songs, but there was something in his eyes…something that made that little voice in the back of my head whisper to me that there was more to this story…more that he was carefully keeping out…

"I'm sorry." I shook my head, still trying to understand, "I can't imagine anyone not loving your music…especially someone so close to you…"

Edward just shrugged, "I'm sure there are millions of people who don't listen to me…or even care…"

"Well I'm not one of them." I could hear the determination in my own voice. I wanted him to know… "I love it…listening to it…learning how you create it…and when I see you sing…you just…you just _shine_ Edward…"

And the look he gave me, after I said that…it was all I could do to stop myself from crawling into his lap…

Our evening was cut short then, he began receiving phone calls from various people…Alice…Jared…and a few others. I could tell they were going to keep him busy…tried not to listen in on his end of the conversation, but he didn't seem to mind…didn't move from his spot, seemed to enjoy sitting next to me while he discussed business.

I learned from listening that the next day we were going to do some kind of press photo thing. That a variety of singers were going to be there too…It was a music festival or something like that, going on here in Vegas.

I could tell it was going to be big, just by the sound of Edward's voice…the way it rose and fell…the way his accent would get really deep. He seemed awfully excited about it.

The longer I heard him talk, the more determined I grew. Maybe his wife didn't appreciate him…want to share any of this with him…

But I _did_…

I was part of his team, and I decided right at that moment I was going to do everything possible to show him how much I supported him…how much I looked forward to everything he was teaching me…how much I cared…

So I forced myself to face my fears…and fight that shyness that always seemed to follow me, and I vowed to be everything he needed…

* * *

><p>"Come on…hurry…hurry…" Alice was rushing me along, trying to get me to catch up to her, her heels making these rapid little clicking noises as she hurried herself around the corner. She didn't realize I couldn't walk very fast, much less run, in these heels.<p>

"Alice, wait…I'm trying." My arms were sprayed out for balance, and I'm sure I looked like a loon. I struggled to keep up with her, concentrating mainly on not falling down. My focus was on my feet, but every few seconds I would glance up to make sure Alice was still in my line of sight.

Alice, of course, looked stunning as she flew down the velvet hallways of the casino; she had on this deep red dress and jet-black, glittering, six-inch heels.

"Edward's gonna kill me if I don't get you there on time…he's scheduled to hit the press area in thirty seconds…Jasper's waiting…" she was panting, but still quickened her strides even more. "I hope they're running behind…"

I was already worried that I was going to look like an exhausted mess once I reached Edward, but I was just as determined as Alice to make it on time. It only seemed fair, since she had invested so much of her time and energy on me earlier…

Alice knew_ everyone_ at the Mandalay Bay spa, and they were more than happy to assist her in any way…including schooling me in the proper way to pose for photographs, having my hair and make-up done, and the ever-exclusive catwalk technique. It was tiring and thrilling all at the same time.

"_Thrust your right foot out a little bit. That's it…okay; now give it a little twist. There. If you put one hand on your hip, it'll show off your curves more. Don't forget to smile!"_

I was concentrating so hard, and listening so intensely to each instruction that I hardly noticed Alice until her high pitched voice rose over the room…

"Oh my gosh, Bella. We need to get dressed! I totally lost track of the time."

That's when things got hectic. I was squeezed into this form fitting black dress with lace stitching along the arms. It was really gorgeous, a little too short for my taste, but compared to what I'd been seeing in Vegas, this was pretty tame.

It was the shoes that were threatening to kill me. Don't get me wrong…these shoes rocked…a touch of black lace, a touch of silvery sparkle…even though I was wearing them throughout my instruction, my poor feet never seen a pair like this before, much less walked around in one, and I cursed myself for not being able to practice in them longer.

Still, I kept on hurrying after Alice.

The hallways got shorter…less wavy, as we got closer, but the small scatters of people got thicker and thicker, until it was suddenly packed with no room to move.

I feared I would lose sight of Alice, but in an instant she turned away from the crowd and raised her hand, indicating for me to follow her past some yellow tape and a burly guard who I guessed recognized her and allowed her through.

"Whew!" She turned and grinned at me, "I think we're safe. Go on…I'll be right behind you with Jasper…Edward's over there…past the red rope. He's waiting for you…"

She waved me on, and even though my heart started hammering, I kept right on walking past her and towards the red rope.

I saw him before he saw me.

And the sight of him took my breath away…not that I had much left. He was standing there, one hand in his pocket. He just _shone_…looked so handsome, yet still rugged and earthy at the same time. His jeans were a much darker wash, still whiskered but almost black with just a hint of sheen, and he had on this incredible dark navy sport jacket…it must have been custom made just for him because it fit him like a glove, made his shoulders look amazing. You could still see his black leather cuff; he wore on his wrist, peaking out from his sleeves and the tarnished silver chain he liked to wear hanging from his belt loops. He was all cowboy, but a beautiful…gorgeous cowboy…

I was just about to call out to him…wave to him _Hi_…but he turned, right as I was bringing up my hand…reaching out for him…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

My heart stopped…just stopped…

I completely forgot that I was next in line to walk the red carpet…to stand in front of at least a hundred or more photographers…even Emmitt and Jasper were stunned.

Bella looked amazing. Strikingly…glamorously…beautiful and demurely radiant all at the same time, wearing this perfect little black dress. Her legs looked miles long and her hair bounced all along her shoulders as she moved.

"_Wow_." That's the only thing that escaped me…the only word flashing through my head. Her hand was stretched out to me, her eyes wide with delight, her smile bright. It was just one of the most captivating visions my eyes had ever seen, and I reached right back for her…those fucking cameras could wait.

"Miss Bella…wow…you look…just wow…" I didn't even know what to say to her, but I knew I wanted to show her off…show the world this beautiful woman at my side.

She giggled at me, taking a few more steps until she was standing next to me. We didn't have time to exchange any further conversation because we were up next. I really wanted to grab hold of her hand, entwine my fingers with hers, and let the press take a million pictures of us together…

But I knew better…

So instead, I gave her my arm…held it out to her…let her loop her arm through mine. Emmett offered her his arm as well, the gentleman that he was… Jasper was only a half step behind us, his arm around Alice.

She smiled happily, giving both Emmett and me warm glances, and let us both escort her out. The flashbulbs started going off before we even reached the end of the red carpet. I didn't have to remind myself to smile…it came naturally…instantly…but I could tell Bella was nervous, her fingers gripped my arm tightly, and I pulled my arm closer to my body, bringing her more into me. Her body relaxed somewhat and Emmett let her go graciously, but her hand never left my arm. She gave me a quick nervous glance, her eyes holding a tiny bit of fear, then just as quickly she seemed to shake it off, she turned her body slightly so that it was facing me…placed her free hand on her hip, and smiled brightly for the cameras.

I was so darn proud of her…I mean really proud…despite her nervousness, she was handling the photographers like a pro, and they were totally eating it up. I doubt any one of them was focusing their cameras on me or on the guys…every camera I glanced at was aimed straight at her. And I didn't blame them at all.

Before we even walked off the carpet I was already daydreaming about how cool this festival was going to be. Every year_ I Heart Radio _holds their music festival in Vegas, I always loved going to it. Every genre of music is invited, and it is here that I get to chat with other guitar greats like Joe Walsh or John Mayer. And since I'm here I usually schedule a concert or two…mostly for the fans.

But this one was going to be exceptional…I could feel it…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

The evening flew by in a flurry of activity. I hardly had time to blink; everything was spinning by so fast. All I could do was hang on to Edward's arm and smile. And to be honest, I didn't mind that one bit.

He looked really happy and proud too. Everyone he ran into would congratulate him on the success of _Broken_, and then the video. Eventually their gaze would fall on me, their mouths would drop open…they'd point at me and look back at Edward like "_this is her?"_

Edward would smile this very broad, boisterous smile and nod. They would all greet me graciously, shaking my hand, offering me congratulations as well.

I felt like a movie star or something. I think most of them thought I was an actress or model, and it didn't take long before I started to feel this seed of confidence grow inside me. I wasn't afraid to smile or shake hands with anyone…no one seemed to look down on me. I guess they wouldn't dare with Edward around.

I stuck by his side, taking his arm whenever he offered it to me, trying my darnest to make him proud.

"How are you doing Miss Bella?" He finally had a free moment and I could feel his warm breath on my ear. I tilted my head up to him and smiled.

"This is incredible Edward." I let my fingers tighten around his arm, "I could get used to this."

Edward chuckled, his eyes dancing with delight, "So could I…" was all he got out before yet another eager person begged for his attention.

Still, as the hours wore on Edward never let me go. His arm stayed securely in place, escorting me from crowd to crowd. I think we posed for a million pictures, and mingled with several hundred people.

A little before midnight Alice pulled me to the side, ushered me off to the ladies room.

"Enjoying Vegas so far?" She grinned at me, reaching into her sequined clutch and pulling out a small compact.

"I'm loving it." I giggled, letting her touch up my makeup, "But my poor feet are on fire…how do you stand it?"

"It's a matter of tolerance…the more you walk in them, the longer you can stand it. I've been doing this for years. It also helps to use drugs…"

"Drugs?" My voice fell, "You're kidding right?"

Alice just burst out laughing at the worry that I'm sure was all over my face. "Not those kind of drugs silly. The good kind…I always carry Advil with me. Helps me stand the pain a little longer. Here…take two."

"Whew…thank you. I was worried there for a bit." I half laughed. Alice just rolled her eyes at me, still laughing.

"There…I promise they will help. So how's Edward? He looks completely happy tonight. I haven't seem him this excited about _I Heart Radio_ in years…He's usually bored here." Alice pulled out a small lipstick and turned toward the large mirrors.

"Edward is great, he's such a gentleman. He's introducing me to all kinds of people. I met Eric Church and Luke Bryan…and some other guys too…so cool." I think I was rambling…I was talking so fast, my voice completely full of excitement.

Alice giggled again, "Yeah I saw when you were talking to Luke. Luke is a hottie. Edward couldn't stop glaring at him. But damn did you see the ass on that man…"

I just laughed, completely agreeing with her.

"Alright, let's get back out there." Alice began heading for the door, waving me along, "Before Edward busts a gut at me for keeping you so long…I better remind him not to stay up too late. We start filming tomorrow and he's scheduled for two performances for _I Heart Radio_, not to mention his own concert…"

"Filming is tomorrow?" I quickly followed Alice out. "Do you know what this video is going to be about? Edward is keeping it this huge secret…he won't tell me anything except that it's going to be funny."

Alice stopped in her tracks and spun around to face me. "Funny? You sure he didn't just mean fun? He didn't tell you the song?" She tilted her head to the side slightly.

"No…not a thing…he's keeps teasing me that I am going to have to dress silly for this one or something like that." I shrugged, giving Alice a half smile.

"Oh honey…that man is something else." Alice threw her hands in the air, "I don't know what he has up his sleeve, but Bella, this song...it's going to be his second released single off his new album…there's nothing funny about it…he wrote right after he met you…and it's called _Shine_…"

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

Jared was loving this one…it was easy…simple. We were in one small room…one camera man…a handful of crew members waiting in the back in case he needed them, but I didn't think he would.

There weren't even any props…the only thing the crew set up a few hours before were all the twinkling lights. There were hundreds and hundreds of them, all hanging from ceiling and running down the white walls. The only other thing we would need was the glitter…lots and lots of glitter…

The song was Shine. I wrote just hours after meeting Bella for the first time, back in my bus still basking in the memories of her smile, her eyes, the way she just lit up.

_Shine_ wasn't a ballad…nothing slow about it…in fact it had a bit of an up tempo rhythm, almost a touch of pop in there. It was light and sexy with just enough hints that it played on the words, telling her exactly what I wished I could do with her if I ever had the chance.

It also allowed me to showcase my guitar skills and there was a fifteen second bridge in there where my guitar was all you heard.

"Alright Ed, go ahead and step on up there." Jared pointed to the round white pedestal placed in the center of the room.

I placed one boot on the pedestal and hopped on up, positioning my guitar strap more comfortably on my shoulder, and adjusting my hat. One of the crew hit the switch that turned on all the lights at once, it was almost blinding. I played a couple of chords…getting into the rhythm, we were all waiting for Bella to make an entrance, and finally the adjacent door opened and she walked in.

That smile…and those eyes…she completely outshone the lights in every way. She turned slowly all around, taking in her surroundings. She spotted me on the pedestal after a few seconds and practically skipped over to me.

Jared was please…I could tell…he didn't say anything to us, to me. He stood almost hidden in the far corner, he made eye contact with me quickly, waving his hand, indicating that he wanted me to keep playing…didn't want Bella to know he was already filming this…

I nodded slightly, never missing a beat. Bella was standing right below me, her head level to my knees. The silver glitter that was scattered all over the floor stuck to her bare feet, sending tiny sparkles up all around her ankles like a small cloud.

My heart was already thudding rapidly as I played…she wasn't even dressed up this time…just wearing a pair of cut off dark blue jeans and white tank top, her silver belt hanging low on her hips…but still, she looked like a million bucks, and fuck did she shine.

I kept on playing, letting my heart take over the music, pouring everything I felt into that provoking beat…singing the words of that song in the most suggestive manner my southern accent would allow me to.

Her smile got brighter and brighter as she listened, and little by little I could see her body beginning to move…begin to sway with the beat, her head shifting back and forth making her hair bob across her shoulders and brush against her cheeks.

"Dance…" I mouthed to her, urging her along, wanting her to give in. I pulled on the strings of the guitar a little harder, sending four intimate harmonies up out into the air, swirling all around her.

And it worked…she felt it…got lost in it, brought her hands up high, her hips rocking back. I nearly lost it when she tilted her chin up and closed her eyes, her mouth opening slightly. Her body was moving…it was just me and her, the white lights all around us, the glitter at our feet spaying little bursts of light. Every now and then Jared would have the crew toss out more glitter around us, making it stick to Bella's skin and my clothes.

I don't know how long I played…how long we stayed that way but I never got tired of it. Never got tired of telling her how I felt…of watching her dance right at my feet…of seeing her _shine_…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

"No shoes?" I glanced around me warily, "There's not a pitchfork in here, is there?"

I was dressed plain…just plain old blue cutoff jeans and the most basic white tank top you could think of. The only detail to the entire outfit was the silver buckle attached to this silver chain belt. It just hung on a slant on my hips, no one bothered to put it through the belt loops. So when Alice told me I wasn't going to wear shoes I began to worry.

"You don't need them. And no, there's no pitchfork." She giggled.

"I don't see how Edward is going to like this…" I threw my hands in the air, still unconvinced.

"Just trust me…" Alice began pushing me out of the tiny dressing room, "I hear music…go on out there…"

With a reluctant scowl I let her shove me out the door and into the whitest, brightest room I'd ever seen. There was tiny white Christmas lights strung everywhere…the ceiling, the walls, even falling over the doorway like a curtain. I forgot my disappointment with my wardrobe, mystified at all the twinkling beauty around me.

I glanced all around, wondering what kind of winter wonderland I'd just walked into. When my brain finally stopped buzzing my senses allowed me to focus on the sexiest beat swirling around the room, it immediately captured my attention and my eyes began searching out where it was coming from.

When I found it, I was star struck all over again. Edward was standing on this round white pedestal dressed all in grey right up to the tip of his hat, holding his guitar, his head tilted down, playing and moving to those sensual sounds he was producing. He dripped of sex appeal and it was all I could do to just keep breathing at the moment.

I took a few random steps towards him, a tickling sand like feeling brushing over my toes making me glance down quickly. It was glitter…sparkling silver glitter scattered all over the floor being kicked up by my strides and dancing all around me. It was so pretty, reminding me of all those birthday parties I had as a small girl. I looked back up at Edward in delight, when the words to his song began filtering past my ears…

"_Don't stop girl, you know I love it when you get your ... shine on!  
>'Cause you and me be rocking all night long!"<em>

And he kept going…singing right to me…telling me through his song what he was thinking, and the longer I listened to it, the more it grew on me. It was the same melody he'd been playing back at our suite…but this was faster and so much more suggestive.

I could feel my body start to respond…my head and shoulders swaying to the rhythm… moving to the beat, forgetting that there were other people in the room. I just slid right up to him and watched him play…hanging onto every word.

Edward was right…a song didn't mean anything unless you could feel it. And hell did I feel this one. It coursed through me like a raging stream…steamy…hot…urgent…

For the first time in my life I forgot everything I stood for…forgot who I was. All I could feel was that electrifying chemistry that was being created by the two of us…it exploded in me with frenzy. I wanted this man…any way I could have him…any way he would let me…I wanted him…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

Somewhere in the middle of the whole thing the look in Bella's eyes changed, grew wider…darker. Those pink lips didn't look so innocent anymore; they were calling to me…urging me on. Her hands were sliding up and down near her hips and thighs as she danced making me glad my guitar was covering up the obvious evidence to my feelings.

I wanted to pull her up there with me, shove my guitar behind me and let my hands roam over her body, down her waist…up her spine…across her bottom. It just fueled my hard on even more. I didn't even bother to look at my hands, keeping my eyes locked to that gorgeous face, seeing all the little specks of glitter fall around us like misty rain.

The atmosphere between us was so charged…flowing…that I was sorely disappointed when Jared suddenly stepped up clapping enthusiastically, his face ginning wider than I'd ever seen it.

"That was great Ed!" he moved up next to Bella offering her a great big smile as well, "Sweet Pea, you definitely did your job here…I could not be more happy with it."

Bella seemed a bit lost at his words, trying to smile at him, blinking with confusion, "What? You mean…uh…was that it?"

Jared just grinned at her some more nodding. "Didn't have the chance to tell you, but you're a natural…no complaints here."

Her head swung around to face me, her chin tilting upward, "That's going to be the video?" Her voice was high, and her cheeks began turning a bright shade of pink.

I hopped down from the pedestal, pushing my guitar behind me, "It was perfect Miss Bella…you were perfect…" I reached out and touched her arm trying to assure her that this was everything we were going to need.

"But…I didn't do anything…nobody told me what to do…" she glanced back at Jared, her face filled with worry.

Jared just chuckled, shaking his head. He gave her an affectionate glace and then turned to me, "Sweet Pea is worried Ed…go take this beautiful girl out on the town and show her a good time…I need to start working on the editing but I reckon I don't need to do much with this one…"

I would've hugged him then, but I knew he didn't like that stuff, so I just tipped my hat at him, "Yes Sir."

Bella was just staring at me…a bit of disbelief still lingering in her eyes, "Let's go Miss Bella…I don't know about you but I've worked up a mighty appetite."

She just blinked at me, glitter still sticking to cheeks and nestled in her hair. "Should I change first?" She shook her head a little bit, sending sparkles all around her.

"No need to…you look perfect just the way you are." I grinned, and this time when I reached for her hand, it was natural…there was no second guessing…no pausing…her fingers closed through mine tightly and I led her back to her dressing room so she could find her shoes.

* * *

><p>There were endless possibilities of where to take her here in sin city…there was full luxury restaurants or casual cafe's…I didn't want to her to feel underdressed or under watchful eyes…I wanted her to relax…find that chemistry between us again.<p>

So we went off the strip…not to far…just out of the main street and the crowds. Slid into one of my favorite diners. It had a family friendly setting with red checkered tablecloths and bright yellow booths. This place had the best milkshakes ever and I entertained the idea of sharing one with Bella.

"Oh look at this…so cute." Bella returned to her bright happy self when we entered, turning to look at me with excited eyes.

I never let go of her hand…not when we left the set…in our car ride over…or here at the diner…I kept a firm grip, so glad I was in Vegas where the paparazzi could care less about stars like me and I could do what I pleased here.

Bella never pulled her hand away…she fell into step easily with me, letting me guide her, holding onto me tightly.

Maybe we hadn't talked about it yet…but I was sure it would happen soon…we weren't fighting that attraction so much here…it was unspoken…but it was there, and I knew it would only get stronger as the days passed.

I almost couldn't wait…

* * *

><p><strong>I'm typing as you read...I promise!<strong>

**I have a question for ya'll, can I ask how you found this story? Did it get rec'd somewhere? Did you stumble upon it? I'd love to go thank anyone who's rec'ing!  
><strong>

**And just a tease: I think it's time we all get to visualize our country star in something other than jeans...don't you? ;) Next chapter...it's time to get all hot and bothered. ;)  
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**XOXO  
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**MBella  
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	12. Your Man

**Hi Ya'll! Hope your having a fabulous work week...but if you're not...here's a little something to get you all hot and bothered. :D  
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**Song of the day: Your Man by Josh Turner  
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**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own all the other country goodness.  
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**Enjoy!  
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><p><strong>We only bring each other tears and sorrow...<strong>

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I purposely didn't tell Bella that I put a hold on the private pool, told the hotel I wanted to reserve it, didn't want anyone else to have access to it, not the public…not even the employees.

No one knew I did that, except Alice, and only because I needed her help. She raised her eyebrows at me but didn't say anything about my request. I think she was slowly beginning to accept what was eventually going to happen, I'm not sure if she liked it or not, but since she didn't heckle me about it, I sure as hell didn't say anything to her.

I was anxious to take Bella there, to let the water wash away the hustle and bustle of our busy day. It had been a whirlwind of activity; masses of people attended the _I Heart Radio_ festival so I didn't have much time to spend with Bella alone. She was there with me for the whole thing looking beautiful and so eager, which only fueled my want to be alone with her.

When it was my turn to perform, she stood at the side of the stage her eyes all bright and alive, waving her hands in the air to the music. My ego swelled at the sight of her…and I couldn't stop grinning.

My performances were not that long, only a few minutes each, but when I sang _Broken_ the audience went nuts…half were singing along, the others screaming wildly. I could hardly hear myself, even with my earpiece; it was so crazy, but definitely rewarding, and when I glanced over at Bella the smile on her face made this whole thing worthwhile.

After that, we both got swept up in the chaos backstage, running into more artists, reporters, and songwriters than I can remember…we were talking music and concerts and different venues…we all agreed on one thing though…how fast the night was going for all of us.

So after all that crazy winded down, my heart started begging again for some time alone with Bella…someplace where I could relax…where I didn't have to worry about the watchful eyes of Alice or anyone else.

It was close to midnight when we arrived back at our suite, Bella looked exhausted, but that happy glow still surrounded her.

"I hope I didn't tire you out Miss Bella, would you like something to drink?" I wanted to keep her from heading to her room just yet. Didn't want her to see what was lying on top of her bed.

"No thank you Edward, I'm fine…not that tired, I'm still so wound up." Her words played perfectly into what I was going to suggest next.

"I know what you mean, I'm a little tense myself." I rubbed my upper arm near my shoulder, feigning soreness. "Sometimes holding that guitar all day can wear a man out." My words instantly created worry in her eyes, and I pushed down that tiny twinge of guilt that threatened to invade my mind at what I was about to do.

"Are you okay? Does it hurt?" She took a few steps towards me stretching out her hand near my shoulder but hesitating in touching me.

"Just a little sore is all, hopefully I'll be okay for the concert tomorrow," I grabbed my hat off my head and tossed it casually over to the sofa, rubbing my shoulder again, "Usually a good soak in the hot tub does wonders, but there weren't any more suites available with the hot tub…" I lied.

"Well…what about the hotel pool? Doesn't it have a hot tub? Maybe you can use that one." She was trying to take care of me…it made the guilt a little bit harder to swallow.

"Alice doesn't like me using the hotel pools…she won't let me go there unless I have someone with me…just in case I need them to send for security or something like that. I'll just have to deal with the pain…" I shrugged turning around, avoiding looking into Bella's eyes.

"I'll go with you." This time she touched the back of my shoulder gently, unaware of the jolt that ran down my spine at her touch, thinking I was merely flinching in pain, "It looks like it's painful Edward, let's go the pool…I won't leave your side. I didn't bring a suit with me but I promise I'll sit there, use one of the chairs maybe."

"That's mighty nice of you, but I can't let you do that Miss Bella. It's not very gentlemanly of me to ask you to go to one of the most luxurious pools in Vegas and not be able to enjoy the water..." I turned around to face her, "Not fair of me to be able to relax while you have to sit there and watch…I'll just deal with the pain…take a couple of Tylenol…" Now I really was feeling guilty, the look on her face, she was so concerned…her eyes bore into mine filled with worry, shaking her head no at me. I fought back against the guilt, going right to point to make this move along faster, "Oh, by the way Miss Bella, Alice called me earlier, said she dropped off a few new things for you…there's a package on your bed I think. I'm just gonna grab a glass of water, let me know what she brought you…" I started walking away from her again.

It worked perfectly, she gave out this little sigh sound, spinning around, still muttering under her breath about how I needed to take care of myself and she wished I would just let her go, even without a suit.

I almost chuckled…almost.

When I heard her voice coming from her bedroom I knew she had opened that package…and I also knew what she found inside it too…

"Edward! Edward wait…you'll never believe what Alice brought me! It's a swimsuit! Well there's all kinds of other things in there too, but there's a swimsuit…a blue one!…"

She was back, fluttering around the living room like a vibrant butterfly swinging that _tiny_… two-piece bikini… up around her head as she spoke, and I couldn't wait to see it on her…

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I could see it in him as he walked…he was slower to move around, and when I reached out and touched him, he flinched in pain.

It tortured me…to see him so hurt, so tired. If I had some kind of superhuman strength, I would've dragged him to the pool myself…never mind I didn't even know where it was…

I nearly begged him to let me take him…I wanted to see his eyes bright and beautiful again…not tinged with ache.

But he was stubborn…something about being a gentleman, which I didn't buy for one second. I gave up then, Edward refused to budge…acting like a typical man saying he would just deal with it, not listening to a word I said.

I was on the verge of calling Alice; maybe she had a suit I could borrow. I wasn't even thinking that her suits would most likely be too small; I was ready to squeeze into anything.

Still rubbing his shoulder, Edward mentioned that Alice had been here already, leaving some stuff for me…I don't even know what for, but I perked up when he said that…now I could go to my room and call her, I could pretend I was going to go see what she brought me…perfect excuse.

A large, white, simple shopping bag rested on my bed, near my pillows. I hadn't the slightest clue what could be inside, but when I got closer, my eyes focused on the dark black lettering, the circling rope symbol around it.

Prada…it was a Prada shopping bag. With a small gasp I pulled open the white braded handles…I'd never set foot in one of their stores before but I knew whatever was in here was going to be so so expensive…

There was some kind of white sheer cover up or something…it had these tiny glistening pearl white beads near the neckline and a tie at the waist. I just tossed it on the bed thinking it was some kind of fancy lingerie that Alice was trying to get me into, but then I pulled out these heeled sandals…kinda like beach sandals…_glamorous_ beach sandals.

That's when I started to get excited. I bet Alice was planning on taking me back to the spa…she'd mentioned something about us maybe doing a mud bath or some other oddball beauty method that'd she'd done before. If luck was on my side hopefully there was a swimsuit in there.

There most definitely was.

Alice somehow managed to pick out the teeniest…tiniest…barely having any fabric swimsuit that I ever laid eyes on. I wouldn't be caught dead in something so revealing, but I was still so full of worry about Edward's shoulder that I jumped back from my bed in a delighted bound, swimsuit in hand and made a beeline for the living room, anxious to show him what I had found.

Edward was just as surprised as I was when I told him Alice brought me a swimsuit. I tried to explain that it probably was for our appointment at the spa the next day, but he was in so much pain he didn't say much.

"Now we can go to the hot tub…you can relax your shoulder, it'll make you feel better." I thrust out the swimsuit towards him nodding my head.

"Are you sure Miss Bella? I don't want to drag you anywhere if you're tired." Edward eyed my suit quickly before resting his gaze on me.

I brushed him off with a wave of my hand, "Let me just go change…I'm lucky, there was a cover up in there too."

"Uh…okay Miss Bella. I'll grab my stuff…meet you back here in a couple of minutes." He was still holding his shoulder but not rubbing it anymore. I hoped he was feeling a bit better. I knew the hot water would be a huge help.

Back in my room, my cheeks wouldn't go back to their normal color. Standing in front of the mirror reality began sinking in…I was going to have to go parade myself like this in front of Edward, wearing practically nothing. The cover up was a lie…it didn't "cover up" anything…the material was so sheer you could see right through it, every inch of my skin was exposed. And those sandals…I felt a bit silly wearing them, they almost looked like heels, like something a model would wear on a runway.

I most definitely did not want to walk around a casino dressed like this. I paced a little bit…before I went back out into the living room. I knew I wasn't going to be able to look Edward in the eye in this getup…Alice was going to hear from me later, that's for sure.

Taking a deep breath, I gave myself one last look in the mirror, wishing I didn't have such a boyish figure…cursing my body for not having more curves or bigger boobs, at least my stomach was flat…that had to count for something right?

There was nothing to hide behind walking out into that living room, so I fixed my gaze onto one of those fancy hanging portraits that graced the fireplace and headed for the sofa. Maybe sitting down would hide some body parts better…

I don't think I even made it five steps in. Edward was already there, his bare back towards me. He was looking out the huge skyline window…the view all ablaze with flashing neon signs and twinkling Vegas lights.

I had to remind myself to keep breathing. The sight before me was breathtaking, and I'm not talking about the Vegas lights either. Every inch of Edward's bare back was rippling with pure muscle and flawless skin. He looked like a god, just pure heaven…but then he turned around, and I realized that I hadn't been looking at heaven yet because heaven definitely had to be somewhere below his ribcage…somewhere where that beautiful skin stopped showing and his low slung swim trunks started…oh yeah…it was in _there_, all right.

He looked startled to see me, like he'd been daydreaming or something and I surprised him. He opened his mouth but didn't say a thing; maybe he was still in too much pain.

"I don't know what Alice was thinking…" I fumbled over my words trying to explain my clothing…or lack of it… "It was the only swimsuit in there though. I'll definitely look for a one piece tomorrow…"

Edward still didn't say anything…just kept starring at me, seemingly frozen in place, that is, until he tilted his head a little bit. I'm sure I started to blush when I caught his eyes roving over my body, but hey, what could I say…I was just doing to same thing to his backside not two seconds ago.

"Do you think they'll let us out dressed like this?" I started rambling again…saying anything that came to mind to avoid looking at those swim trunks, and what was hiding behind them…it was easy to see that Edward was um…well endowed…

"What?" Edward finally blinked, shifting a bit awkwardly from foot to foot.

"This isn't what I usually wear to go swimming." I avoided his eyes starting to feel a little naked at the way he was starring at me.

"There's no way I'm letting you out of this room wearing that." Edward's voice was gruff; he blinked again, shaking his head. He walked over to one of the many hall closets and opened it up grabbing two big white fluffy robes with the hotel crest on them. "Here Miss Bella." He kept himself at an arm's distance, stretching his hand out and giving me the robe.

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

Oh fuck.

I hadn't thought this through.

Didn't think about the physical effect Bella's presence was going to have on me.

She was taking forever and a day to come out of her bedroom. I almost came to the conclusion that she changed her mind, wasn't going to come back. I stared out into the Vegas night sky…it was all lit up, didn't matter that the clock already struck midnight…the party was just starting down there.

Apparently it was starting up here in my trunks too when Bella walked back into the room. I just held my breath, standing there looking at her.

She was a vision. An absolute stunning, near naked vision, and I willed my body not to betray me.

I don't even know what she was telling me, she was talking but all I could see was this delicate, exquisite treat waiting to be devoured. The bikini I purchased, or had Alice purchase, was leaving nothing to the imagination, and the cover up didn't hide one single curve that Bella possessed.

Her body was magnificent. Beyond gorgeous. Beautiful round breasts that swelled slightly, big enough to peek out from her bikini top yet not so huge that they spilled over. Her hips filled out her bottoms perfectly, and the blue color of the suit just sparkled against her light skin.

I shifted my feet, trying to hide my obvious turn on. My brain raced rapidly, torn between finding something to stand behind to hide my erection, and finding something to cover her up with, because there was no way I was letting her out of this room dressed like that.

She had the same idea, questioning if the casino allowed its guests to walk around in their swimsuits. I was betting they would when they got a glimpse of Bella's body. That's what jolted me from my stunned state and making me grab two robes from the hall closet, for the both of us. I didn't want to get too close to her just yet, my blood was still rushing to places other than my brain, and I knew if I touched her, even just her hand, I'd probably explode.

She looked a bit self-conscious as she took the robe, but thanked me graciously, wrapping it around her body and hugging it tightly to her.

Once our robes were on I knew I had to get us out of that room or things were going to happen that I wasn't going to have any control over. I ushered her out the door and over to the private elevator. We rode in silence, up to the highest floor. There wasn't anything on this floor except the private pool, and you really had to pull some serious strings to reserve this pool because it was like walking into paradise.

I'd only been here one other time, years ago when Toby Keith hosted a party here. That was a wild night, booze, music and naked women…I think I lasted thirty minutes max before bowing out and heading back to my room.

The lights were low when we entered. There was a glass patio type setting that you first walked into. You had to move down further, along a small hallway before coming upon another door. That was the real door to the pool.

I managed to calm down a bit during that short walk, so when we reached the glass patio I reached for Bella's hand, leading her down that hallway and over to the solid tan door.

I knew it would take her a minute to get over her surroundings. Her eyes were so wide they didn't even blink. She took in the Olympic sized pool…the bubbling hot tub…the granite bar that took up an entire wall. Her hands fell limply to her side in disbelief when I pulled out two of the biggest, softest towels from this cherry wooden cabinet for us to use.

"Would you like to try the pool first? It's heated." I offered, giving her a small smile, shaking off my robe and tossing it over one of the white ceramic chairs.

"Umm…sure…if you want to." Her voice still sounded stunned and her gaze fell to my chest, making me thank all that guitar playing I did that helped me stay in shape.

"Ladies first." I waved my hand in front of her, gesturing at the wide steps that led right into the water.

Her eyes finally moved, following my hand and then back up to my face. Very slowly and carefully she untied her robe, not realizing the effect she was having on me, slipping out of her shoes at the same time.

I was trying not to grunt, but damn it was hard. She gave me one last self-conscious glance and then spun around heading for the pool steps.

"Oh, it's so warm." The water was right under her breasts and she closed her eyes in pure pleasure.

_That_ made me groan.

Her eyes snapped open in worry at the sound, and she picked up her hand. "Is it hurting again?"

If only she knew where it really was hurting.

I waded into the water, moving up next to her, "Just a little. Not that bad." I was using every bit of self-control I had not slide my hands around her waist.

"You like to swim?" she tilted that pretty little head to the side, those brown eyes watching me.

I nodded my head, "I love to swim. Been swimming since I was three years old. Had a creek a little ways behind my parents house…swam in there every chance I could."

She smiled at me, bobbing a little in the water. It was making her breasts bounce, distracting me to no end.

"I love to swim too. My parent's didn't have a pool or anything, but every summer all the kids would hang out at the community pool. We had a lot of fun there." Her hands floated back and forth in front her, making little ripples in the water.

"There's a pool back at my house." I tried to focus on her eyes, "I ought to take you there one day. I bet you'd like it."

"I can't even imagine being at your house…"

Bella's eyes grew bright with wonder and I wished I could've shared with her how many times I already pictured her there…at my house…in my bed…

"When I get another couple of weeks off I'll fly you out there. Show you around. Ever ride a horse Miss Bella?" I moved closer to her…in the water. It was a subconscious act, my body just couldn't stay away…it wanted to feel her heat.

"A horse? No. I don't think I've ever even seen a real live horse before." She was bouncing more now and my hands were reaching for her…stretching out. I tried hard to control it, snapping out of it at the last minute and rubbing my own shoulder to keep my hands busy.

She eyed me worriedly and then glanced over to the hot tub. "Come on Edward, let's go over to the hot tub now. Did I ever tell you I can give a really mean massage? I used give my dad massages all the time, and when I want to, I can make a grown man cry."

Fuck, she was teasing but it was affecting me all over again, making me shift in the water, trying to adjust myself without being noticed. I just followed her out, not being able to say anything, swallowing hard when her perfectly round, wet bottom came into view as she exited the pool.

Inside the hot tub she gestured me to sit in front of her, sitting herself on the higher step so that once again her breasts were right above the water.

I figure it would help calm my body down not facing her, but I was wrong…there would be no calming down for me. She slid those soft hands up my back and over my shoulders, her fingers making small circles on my skin. It felt heavenly, and it was all I could do not to gasp outloud.

"Try to relax." Her voice was warm and soft in my ear, "I can feel how tense you are, it must really hurt."

I just hung my head down and closed my eyes, giving in to that voice…to those hands. She was like magic, moving her fingertips up the back of my neck, behind my ears, and down my shoulders over and over again, making these little humming noises as she worked.

It sent my imagination into overdrive and all I could see behind my closed eyes was her underneath me, humming in pleasure as I explored every inch of that glorious body, thrusting into her over and over again. It made me so hard I wasn't even trying to hide it anymore. Luckily she couldn't see it from where she sat.

The minutes ticked by and neither of us said another word, we didn't have to. The silence between us was so charged and full…we were communicating in different ways and I didn't want it to stop.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when her hands slipped up over my shoulders past my neck and sliding down the front of my chest. She had to lean forward to do that and I could feel her breasts rubbing up and down on my back.

That made me groan out loud…and practically come.

"Am I hurting you?" she whispered, sliding her hands back up to my shoulders.

I just shook my head slowly, "No," that was all I could grunt out; my hands were gripping that cement step with all my strength, my body straining painfully against my trunks.

She didn't move her body away. It stayed pressed up against my back, the water bubbling up between us.

"Does it feel good?" she whispered again letting her nails scrape slightly along my skin, making me suck in my breath.

"Yes Ma'am…" I murmured as her hands traveled back up my neck and into my hair. I wouldn't let myself open my eyes…I knew if I did, the little control I had left would be gone.

She kept working on me…taking me to new heights with every stroke…every touch, and all I could do was sit there with my head down, trying to keep my heart in check.

I could feel her breasts bounce and slide along my back as she moved…feel her legs and thighs graze my arms whenever she shifted her body. My brain buzzed with desire and my body throbbed with need, I didn't want to wait any longer.

"Okay," Bella's soft voice broke the silence between us, "How do you feel now? Better?" Her hands dropped away from my shoulders…she was waiting for an answer.

I finally lifted my head; thankful the water was helping hold up my shaking body, and turned around to face her.

I'm sure she could see it all over my face…I wasn't trying to hide it…wasn't going to deny it…my eyes were hooded and dark, my breathing heavy. She was looking back at me almost the same way, pressing those perfect pink lips together tightly.

"Thank you…" I half grumbled, my voice dripping with desire, and I leaned into her, my hands reaching out and gripping the back of the step she was leaning against. The tips of her breasts teased my chest and I felt her hands slide up my arms.

Her eyes grew wide and her mouth opened. It welcomed me in…the warmth of her body…the feel of her hands…I couldn't wait to touch her…to taste her…to make love to her…

She turned her head at the last second, squeezing her eyes shut with small gasp-like sob. That sound shook me right to my core…thundered in my ears. My lips rested against the soft skin of her cheek, guilt and despair coursing through me. We didn't move for a second…just stayed frozen that way our hearts and souls touching but miles apart at the same time. I just kept taking in these big breaths of air, struggling to apologize, and trying to control the remorse.

"I'm sorry." Her voice cracked, she hadn't opened her eyes.

Her apology jolted me from my wretched state, and I pushed back with my hands, careful not to touch her.

"No." I answered forcefully, trying to get her to look at me. "Bella. No. You shouldn't be sorry. _I _should be sorry. _I am_ sorry."

"It was my fault…" she shook her head, looking at me finally with wounded eyes, "I mean the way I was…the way I'm dressed…" her voice trailed off.

"_No baby_…" I whispered, her words just caused my heart to ache further, "It's not your fault…you didn't do anything wrong…It's all me…I take all the blame…" She just kept shaking her head at me, probably not listening to anything I was saying, and I knew that I would never try to do something like this to her again…

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I was being greedy…enjoying this too much. Edward's skin felt so hot underneath my fingers…I let my hands roam over every hard muscle…every groove and dip, touching the back of his neck and even letting my fingers tangle in his hair.

He just grunted and groaned…it fueled me…excited me…made me want more. I could already feel my own body respond to his verbal pleasure, my breasts grew hard, crying out for attention, and that burning warmth flooded between my legs, making me wish I could grind my thighs together to ease the ache.

I even teased him…or tried to…I didn't know if it worked or not, but I pressed my breasts to his back, letting my hands run down his chest…using that as my unspoken excuse, trying to release some of that thirst I had for him.

And he let me…let me do whatever I wanted…just closed his eyes, hanging his head down giving me silent permission.

Oh, how I wanted this man. I just didn't want to touch him on the outside…I wanted to capture his heart too. Make him want me the same way I wanted him. That little voice inside me kept telling me this wasn't just lust, but I was so afraid that's all it was for him.

I might be with him now, but I wasn't his wife…I was somebody else's wife, and when he turned around to face me his eyes dark with desire…it was like a slap in the face…that none of this would ever be permanent…that I would always have to leave…leave him…so that he could be with _her_…his wife…

This kiss would've been real. We wouldn't be able to say we were just acting…that it was all for a video…no, it would've been real, and there would be no denying it later. No denying it to each other…no denying it to our spouses.

I guess that's what tore the sob out of me…and the apology. I should have never allowed myself to be put into this situation, should never have allowed him to get so close. It was my fault…all of it.

I could only look into those beautiful green eyes filled with anguish and ask him to forgive me. Couldn't blame him if he didn't. Wondering if he was going let me leave this time and not want me back.

He held out his hand to me…to help me out of the water, and I let him…let him slip the robe over my shoulders too.

And it tore at me…all night long…that this amazing man still treated me with nothing but gentleness…kindness…even when I threw it in his face…

The thought made me toss and turn all night long…giving me no rest…no peace.

When daylight finally peeked through the curtains I made my way into the living room, trying not to relive the night before, straining my ears for the slightest sound coming from his side of the suite…there was none.

I wondered if Alice was still planning to take me to the spa, or if my visit to Vegas was suddenly going to be cut short.

I didn't have much time to ponder over that because it was Alice who knocked on the door.

"Bella." Her voice held worry, "How are you this morning? Did Edward tell you he left?"

"He left?" A large lump formed in my throat at her words, I shook my head, "I haven't seen him since last night."

Alice glanced around the room uneasily. "Ugh! I don't know how to tell you this…" she shook her head at me, clearly upset, "He isn't coming back here…at least not today. I got a call early this morning at some godforsaken hour…I had to wake him up and get him out of here. His concert is tonight…" she just kept shaking her head at me.

"He doesn't have to go…" I picked up my hand stopping her from telling me what I already knew, "I'll go Alice…I can catch a plane…right now. Tell him to come back…I won't bother him anymore, I promise…"

Alice just starred at me, confusion tinting her eyes. She shook her head rapidly at me making this little humph sound. "What are you talking about Bella? Where will you go? Edward would kill me if he thought I made you go anywhere…"

Her words just sent a circle of turmoil to my already hurting heart. "Tell him I'm sorry…and that it was my fault…"

Alice wrinkled her nose at me, "But it's not your fault. What makes you think it's your fault that Tanya's here?"

I could only stare at Alice, my entire body flooding with shock…shock and apprehension, "What did you say?" I tried to stop my hands from trembling but they had a mind of their own.

Alice was already suspecting that we'd been talking about two different things. "What happened last night Bella? Both you and Edward looked perfectly happy at the _I Heart Radio_ concert. Did something happen after? Edward looked pretty distraught this morning when I dragged him out of here, and that was_ before_ I told him Tanya was here. He told me to make sure you were okay…to not let you leave…"

I spun around, not wanting Alice to see the tears that threatened to fall, "Nothing happened…we didn't do anything…we're…we're fine…"

Alice didn't say a word…at least not until I turned back around to face her, she just closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then looked straight at me, " Well whatever you _didn't_ do, it affected him as well…and I guess that's none of my business…but now that Tanya's here I have to make it my business. Edward's back at his bus…well actually he's at rehearsal…" Alice shook her head a little, "I don't know why Tanya is here yet…her plane touched down a while ago but she's yet to show up…she's probably out shopping or something. In either case, I'm here to let you know that…so most likely, she'll be backstage at the concert tonight…and if she decides to stay, she be with him for the rest of the festival."

I didn't know what to say…how to react…this was all spinning out of control and going way to fast for me. I just let Alice take total control, and she did…helping me get dressed…reassuring me that we were still going to the spa…telling me with a hint of animosity in her voice not to worry about Tanya, she would make sure I looked stunning tonight, and I got the feeling that Alice didn't like Tanya…and I was already pretty sure I wasn't going to either…

Vegas was nothing like I imagined it would be…

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><p><strong>You didn't think it was going to be this easy did you? ;)<strong>

**I know it tortures you to wait (that's part of the fun LOL), but I swear if you hang with me, I'll make it worth the while...;)  
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**XOXO  
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**MBella  
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	13. Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye

**Hi! Hello! And How are y'all doing? Wishing you and your loved ones a wonderful Holiday season!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own all the country goodness.**

**Song of the day: Kiss Tomorrow Goodbye by Luke Bryan**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Tomorrow, I'm gonna listen<br>To that voice of reason inside my head telling me that we're no good...**

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Alice was strangely quiet the entire morning. The only time she came to life would be when her phone rang; even then, the worry wouldn't leave her eyes. She wouldn't talk in front of me either; she would whisk herself away to a private corner and whisper urgently to her unknown caller. Every time she returned, she would'nt share anything with me, and I didn't ask, for fear it would be Edward telling her to get me out of Vegas.

I guess I was acting the same way…quiet…distant…lost in my own turmoil. Nothing could soothe me…not the mud bath…not the facial…or the fancy air brushed makeup that Alice had the spa do for me. I didn't even get excited when Alice pulled out this gorgeous sea blue dress that she said cost over a thousand dollars.

All I could think about was Edward…

He probably hated me…wished he never met me. And I couldn't blame him. I sort of hated myself…hated that I turned away from him…hated that guilt that wouldn't let me go.

"Come on Bella…we have one hour before the concert starts and I need to tell you a few things before we get there…" Alice's voice sounded really troubled, and it snapped me out of my trance, she just barely met my eyes before looking away, "Let's head on over to the concert arena."

I could sense this wasn't going to be good…I was dreading it…

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

This day was going to hell in a handbasket. I single handedly fucked things up and now there was no way to fix em…at least not with Tanya here.

Even though it was rare for Tanya to show up at one of my venues unannounced, she sometimes did it when her agent would suggest she needed a little bit of publicity. Most times she called Alice or Seth beforehand, but for some unknown reason she didn't last night.

It didn't really matter that she hadn't called. Seth kept careful tabs on her at all times. He was savvy…he always knew where she was…he also watched a few other key people whose whereabouts needed to be known twenty-four seven. So he knew exactly when she boarded the plane to Vegas before that plane even took off, he also knew we had to be smart…that meant getting me out of the penthouse and back into my bus, despite my protests.

Alice kept me up to date throughout the day on Tanya's whereabouts…I really could care less that Tanya was out having lunch with Emeril Lagasse at his restaurant, or buying a boatload of designer clothes over at Gucci…all I really wanted to know was if Bella was doing okay.

"There isn't any indication that she's out here for a publicity stunt…we know her agent didn't send her…she spent most of the morning out shopping…she hasn't called us at all so we still aren't supposed to know she's here. My best guess is she's planning to just show up at the concert unannounced…" I was only half listening to Alice…standing on the edge of the wooden stage, staring out into the empty concert arena. Alice kept going on and on… "I'm keeping Bella with me, maybe put her in a VIP skybox…not sure yet, I'm still working on that…"

The mention of Bella's name jerked me to attention and I cut Alice off in mid-sentence, "Bella…how is she? Where is she?"

I didn't have the time or the patience to skirt around the issue with Alice, to bother to try to hide my feelings. "She's okay…a little quiet. We're at the spa…I'm trying to get her to relax but I'm pretty sure that's hopeless. I got the dress you sent her…you picked out a great color…it's going to look so good on her…"

"I don't want her in the skyboxes…" I cut Alice off again in haste, absentmindedly fingering the small black velvet box in my pocket. "I want her backstage. I don't care if Tanya's back there…" I began pacing back and forth, waving silently at Jasper and Emmett, urging them to take a break from rehearsal.

"You don't think that's too much of a gamble?" Alice's voice rose slightly.

"No I don't. She's the star of the video…she deserves to be backstage. I want her _there,_ Alice." I wasn't going to back down and Alice knew it.

"Okay…okay…I'll have her backstage. But you can't be all over her…_promise me_ Edward…"

"I won't…I promise…" I lied, frowning into the phone with frustration, "I have to go…call me when Tanya finally announces she's here."

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Meeting Tanya Denali was nothing like I expected, and no amount of preparation from Alice could have ever gotten me ready for when I actually came face to face with her.

Even though the mirror was telling me I looked beautiful, I wasn't feeling beautiful at all.

The dressing rooms of the Mandalay Bay arena were absolutely gorgeous, with crushed velvet sofas and a granite bar stocked with different bottles of water and alcohol. None of it impressed me; I was too far gone into the depths of my own misery. The make up artist stood slightly behind me, her powder brush in hand waiting for me to let her do the final touch ups, I wanted to just wave her away, I knew Edward was out there somewhere and it was eating me alive.

Alice wouldn't let me sit down in the dress I was wearing, so I just stood there surrendering to the make up and the powder brushes, as she drilled me with instructions.

"Bella…the first thing that you'll probably notice…what _everyone_ first notices…is that Tanya won't talk to you…she doesn't talk to _anyone_ except Seth and Edward." Alice's voice was carefully guarded with just a touch of sarcasm, her eyes wouldn't rest on mine, "She'll talk to_ me_ if she has too…and sometimes I force her too…cause I can. But for you…I think we should just avoid her okay?"

I just blinked at Alice, more confused than anything…this certainly didn't sound like the Alice I knew.

"And she usually has a few people with her all the time…her bodyguards…" Alice rolled her eyes, making air quotation marks with her fingers and shaking her head. "Don't talk to them either…"

I finally snapped out of my immobile trance, waving my hand around, trying not disturb my perfectly made up hair, taking a step back from make up artist… "I'm not planning to talk to her Alice…what about Edward?"

That's what I really wanted to know…would I be able to talk to him? Should I even bother after last night?

"Edward?" Alice frowned slightly, finally looking at me, "Well sure…of course you can…I mean I doubt he's going to ignore you…"

I think my questions threw Alice off track because she almost jumped when her phone began ringing then. I turned around, glancing back into the wall mirror, trying to take a few deep breaths. The woman looking back at me was polished and radiant…I wished I could feel that way on the inside too…because all I was feeling inside, was broken and torn.

"Okay, it's all ready…let's go…" Alice urged me over and began heading for the door.

It was time to go.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"Her car is_ here_ Edward…parked…she's in the casino somewhere, keep your eye out. Are you ready to go on yet? Bella and I are coming now. I'll keep her over behind the crew…we'll see you after the concert." There was tension in Alice's voice; I could hear it, even with the all the noise the sound system was making around me. I was already highly irritated, my teeth clenched, and I had a raging headache.

"You know what Alice," I know she could hear the ire in my tone, "I could care less where Tanya is…or even if she's going to show. Bring Bella out here, _not_ behind the crew…I want to see her before I go onstage. _Now_ Alice."

"Alright Edward…_alright_…we're coming! We'll meet you at the left side of the stage instead…there's more space there. _Geez_…where was _this_ guy I'm hearing, two years ago?"

I almost chuckled, my hand automatically searching for that black velvet box again. I grabbed it out of my pocket and opened it. This was going to be my peace offering…my apology.

The sapphire blue teardrop necklace glistened under the white room lights. It was elegant and simple, and I knew it would look stunning on Bella.

With a satisfied glance in the mirror, I spun on my heels and rounded the corner away from my dressing room, grabbing my hat on my way out. If there was any luck on my side tonight I would be able to see Bella for a few minutes…to apologize for everything that happened last night, and today too.

No one paid me any attention as I made my way over to the left stage area. We usually kept our extra lighting equipment, some microphone stands, and other stuff here on the this corner, you really couldn't access the stage from here, unless you stepped over the amps, but you would be able to see everything, including much of the audience, which is why I suspected Alice chose this side.

I brushed past a few large crates and some extra wound up cords…pushing the amps over with my foot, making a small path that would lead to the stage.

The lights were a little dimmer here, but I kept scanning as far back as I could…looking for her.

My eyes fell on Bella first. She looked like an angel…just soft and beautiful. Her hair was all pinned up except for a few stray ringlets that framed her face. The dress she wore showed off her shoulders and hit right above her knees…showing just enough skin to make you look twice.

I think she was looking for me too; her eyes flew over the entire area rapidly until they finally locked onto mine.

I hoped she could feel the same jolt shooting down her spine that I was feeling as we stared at each other, feel that same instant magnetic pull that made my body tremble…that ordered my feet to start heading her way.

I tried to give her a smile, as I stepped towards her, a real sincere smile, tilting my head down a little bit, acknowledging her presence…her beauty.

Her eyes brightened at that, growing a bit wide, her lips parting in the shyest of a smile.

It sent instant relief flowing through me…maybe she didn't hate me…maybe I would be forgiven.

"Edward!"

I smiled bigger at her, thinking it was her that called out my name, but when both Bella and Alice stopped in their tracks at the same time, the startled looks on their faces identical as they stared past me, I _knew_...and it killed me to know…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

She called _his_ name but she was looking right at me.

Her voice was all high and bright, dripping with sweetness, but it didn't match the look in her eyes…or the way she stood.

_She_ wasn't smiling…at least not until he turned around to face her.

I could feel the smile that I had just given Edward slowly slide off my face, my body stiffening in shock and pain. I don't know where she came from…it was like she was hiding in the shadows just waiting for me to come through that hallway…looking for that perfect moment to make her entrance.

And she sure did, breaking into the biggest, sparkling smile I'd ever seen when Edward turned around, throwing her arms wide around those broad shoulders and hugging him close to her. Pressing those perfect red lips to his cheek.

I wish I could tell you that Edward didn't hug her back…that he pulled away from her and turned back to me.

But he didn't.

His arms slid around her too, and I could tell he tilted his head down into her neck at the same time.

The sight before me just sent my mind spinning and heart falling.

I know it shouldn't have…but it just hurt…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I don't know what kind of game Tanya was trying to play but I saw that camera guy still slightly hidden behind the light boxes before he stepped out into our view.

I can't even remember the last time Tanya even touched me, and now here she was, wrapping her hands around my neck and kissing my cheek.

I wanted to shove her away roughly, tell her to get the fuck off of me.

But there was no way I could do that.

Cause I could see him…his face partially hidden behind his camera as he took a few shots.

It angered me to no end, and I'm pretty sure Tanya could feel my fingers digging into her waist tightly, keeping her from pressing completely up to my body. I was no longer hers, and I wanted her to know that.

"I hope I didn't give you a heart attack darling…but I was really missing you." Her voice dripped with affection as she looked up at me with eager, loving eyes. She really was a damned good actress.

She finally let her arms fall away from me, taking a half step back. "People magazine are here with me. They are interviewing me…our family. It just got announced that I'm up for an Emmy, and I thought…what better place than Vegas. I think I had to ask a million of your helpers before one of them told me where you were."

Her voice stayed steady…bright. She turned around quickly and waved over the camera guy who finally stepped into the light, bringing his camera down and heading up to us with a polite smile.

He extended his hand to me when he reached Tanya. "This is Shawn, my photographer. He's really good. He'll be following me around for a bit, maybe he can take some photos of your concert. It'll be fun!"

I shook Shawn's hand roughly, ignoring his hello. I was already suspicious enough of the display in front of me, so I just eyed him steadily until he diverted his eyes, shifting his feet, looking down at Tanya.

"So," she kept right on talking, still all smiles, briefly pressing her palm onto my chest, "Do you have a few minutes darling? Or do you have to go onstage right now?"

"I don't have a few minutes." I stepped back slightly, trying to get away from her hand; I wanted to lower the aggravation in my voice but didn't do a very good job at it. "I don't have _a few seconds_…I need to talk to…_to Alice_…and my crew…" I waved my hand behind me, "You can wait in a dressing room."

"Oh no…" Tanya smiled brightly at me once again, not giving up, stretching her arm out and resting her hand on mine. "I don't want to wait in your dressing room…I want to see _my husband_ sing!"

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I just stood there, my heart somewhere by my knees.

All the makeup and fancy dresses in the world couldn't help me. I was no match for this absolute stunning woman smiling next to Edward.

I mean she was gorgeous…a tall, regal woman with the perfect hourglass figure.

She had on this stark white, crisp pantsuit that made her look professional but glamorous at the same time. Her hair looked naturally wavy, it was long and blonde with chestnut highlights that flowed down her back, it simply shone and made her blue eyes just pop.

She looked like the perfect match for Edward, with this megawatt white, radiant smile. She stood effortlessly in these six inch sequined heels that added all more the glamour to her.

I felt so dumpy and stringy standing there next to Alice.

It didn't matter how much they tried to fix me up…I would never look as good as her.

Alice stood completely rigid in her spot, her lips pressed together tightly. She didn't say a word, and I couldn't read her expression, but I sure could feel the hostility radiating off of her. I wondered briefly why Alice didn't like Tanya, but then Tanya opened her mouth again…and I quickly figured it out…

It was all about her.

Every word she said. Everything she talked about…_her_ tv show…_her _accomplishments…_her _life, nothing about Edward…or his show. She didn't even acknowledge Alice's presence.

The air around me grew thicker as the seconds ticked by.

One of Edward's crew across the stage was already waving rapidly, pointing to a make believe watch on his wrist, indicating that Edward had to go now. I still couldn't see Edward's face, but his body seemed completely tuned to his wife. My stomach turned every time she touched him, and her voice just seemed to grow louder and louder. I knew I wouldn't be able to stand there and watch much longer.

Finally, I turned to Alice, hoping she wouldn't see the pain in my eyes. "Alice, can we go?" My voice cracked with every word and I knew she heard it cause she took a really quick breath and nodded at me, grabbing at my hand and ushering me in the opposite direction.

"Alice, wait!" His voice sounded so rough…so foreign.

I didn't turn around, but Alice did. She let go of my hand and took a slow, half step back towards them.

_"Yes?"_ I'm sure every one of us could hear the anger in that simple yes.

"We still have to go over…a couple of things…" his tone was strained, and I was sure my ears were deceiving me when I thought I heard a touch of pain mixed in there.

"_You're busy. You don't have time Edward, you have to get onstage." _Again, Alice let the sarcasm flow…along with the anger.

"I'm done here." Now this time it was clear…a strong, hard order. His words made me turn my head to the side, I wanted to see him…look in his eyes…try and see what place I might hold in his heart.

I never got that chance.

Her voice filled the room again, loud and bright…and deadly serious. "Alice, what Edward wants you to do is make sure _I _have the best spot backstage to watch him sing. He knows how much I love his music. Shawn needs access too, he needs to be able to take some good pictures." I could hear her heels clicking as she walked across the wooden floor, making me half turn in anxiety.

She looped her arm through Alice's, holding on tightly, not letting Alice pull away. Her eyes flashed with an ominous warning and Alice stopped her struggle, glancing first at Edward's frozen form, then at the cameraman who was right at Tanya's heels.

With a yielding sigh Alice stared with frustration at Tanya, then suddenly she did a complete turn around and tried to yank Tanya past me as fast as she could, she jerked on Tanya's arm, pulling Tanya by surprise. Tanya let out a small yelp, nearly tripping, throwing out her free hand for balance.

"I know just the spot to put you Tanya. You'll have the perfect view. An _amazing_ view...You'll get to see everything that happens…I mean _everything."_ Alice's voice went extremely high…dripping with fake sincerity…mimicking Tanya's earlier.

I was a bit stunned. Not sure what to do.

Edward suddenly came to life and he took a few steps towards us, even though he should have been onstage already.

My eyes met his once again, causing my breath to hitch. He looked so torn as he watched me…his eyes full of anguish and apology. I wanted to believe that apology was for me…that the look in his eyes was for me. I nearly reached out for him, picking up my trembling hand and tilting my head in despair.

But Tanya was far to good at this, she knew exactly what she was doing. She paused right as Alice was trying to pull her past me, planting her feet firmly on the ground, making sure she filled my entire view with her presence. Her blue eyes stared me down with disdain and a hint of challenge. "Isn't your little friend coming?" she asked Alice, still looking at me with one eyebrow raised. "No." Alice tried to pull on her again, "Isabella Swan stays right here…she's part of the crew." Tanya gave out this little huff, "Since when does the crew get all dressed up?" Her nose wrinkled slightly. "Since they're the star in the video they do…" Alice was matching Tanya punch for punch. "This is the _star_?" Tanya didn't even flinch, she just narrowed her eyes enough for me to see, "I guess it was a low budget video." She muttered under her breath before Alice finally got her to move.

Nothing in my brain made sense. Once Tanya was out of my way, Edward was no longer standing backstage. He had been pulled away by the stage crew and was now out there in the midst of screaming fans.

My heart beat rapidly as I wondered what to do with myself. My eyes drifted around the room hopelessly, mostly looking for a place to hide, a way out.

I could hear the cheering crowd filling my ears, Edward's adorable accented voice echoing around the room, and without realizing it I was walking in that direction…my heart leading the way. I stopped right at the edge…standing next to one of the extra microphone stands, looking out into the crowd first before raising my head to look at Edward.

My heart leapt…there he was, guitar in his hands, strumming away, his gaze completely concentrated on his fingers as they flew over the strings. He always looked so amazing this way, and tonight was no different.

Despite everything I was struggling with, I was always awestruck to see him perform, to see him shine up there.

And the longer I stood there watching him, the more my heart ached. It ached for him…for everything I couldn't have…would never have.

I don't know if he sensed me watching him, or maybe the tiny sparkles of my dress caught his eye, but he turned my way at that moment, his hat tilting up so that I could see those beautiful green eyes. They seemed to look right into my soul…deep…searching.

My heart was overflowing, his look was completely overwhelming any sensible thought I could possibly form.

It was at that moment that it hit me…I suddenly wanted him to how I felt about him…wishing I could tell him…_show_ him… My head tilted to the side by instinct and my hand somehow made it up to my heart. I just smiled at him…a small heartfelt smile. It held everything my heart had been trying to hide for so long.

He seemed to blink in surprise at my expression, but that only lasted for a second before he smiled back at me. His eyes sparkled, and his body seemed to stand taller. His smile nearly knocked me over; it was that adorable mischievous little boy smile…the one that never failed to make me feel weak in the knees.

He seemed to come alive after that, as if my smile gave him some kind of relief…some kind of courage. His eyes started shining again and he sang with more emotion than I could remember.

The crowd loved it, of course, screaming and cheering…singing along with him. I didn't even feel the minutes tick by…my eyes were constantly locked to him…watching him perform…still finding myself completely amazed and star struck with him.

Edward kept right on smiling at me…sometimes making me feel he was singing to me. He moved all around the stage, his eyes catching mine, making my heart swoon every time.

I was probably reading too much into those short, quick glances, the look in his eyes as he sang. My heart wanted to believe so badly that they were more than just friendly gestures…and I was totally ignoring the warnings my brain was shooting at me.

I wanted this… I wanted to get lost in his eyes…in his heart. I wanted it so bad that I thought I was dreaming when he suddenly extended his hand towards me, waving me over…urging me to get out onstage with him.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

This was going to be her moment.

_Hers._

Bella's moment.

I wasn't going to let Tanya take this away from her.

I was going to finally fulfill this one fantasy that I had about Bella from the second I laid eyes on her.

"I have a special surprise for y'all tonight!" I shouted out into the crowd.

They roared back at me in approval, their hands all waving in the air.

"Help me welcome a very special lady on stage…y'all recognize her…my beautiful co-star from _Broken_…"

I don't think she'd been listening to me because her eyes grew all wide and scared when she realized I was reaching for her…urging her to step out onto the stage with me. I took a few steps towards her, extending my hand.

The crowd went ecstatic…screaming even louder in their excitement.

Bella didn't move, at least not until I was nearly upon her. Her hand finally reached back for me and she took a small step forward. I just kept right on smiling at her, enclosing her trembling hand in mine, reassuring her it would be okay.

One of the crew had placed a stool in the center of the stage and I led her to it, helping her climb up and sit down.

The rest of the band was already softly playing the beginning melody to _Broken_, and behind us, on the big screen, the first flickering's of our video came to life.

The audience loved it.

Their cheers grew even louder, and the clapping was unmistakable that it was for Bella.

I just grinned proudly at her, letting her hand go, and began strumming my guitar.

I think it was that second she realized what was happening around her because she broke out into the most beautiful smile, clasping her hands together in awe and disbelief, laughing to herself when she heard the whistles and cheers that were just for her.

I didn't leave her side the entire song. I just stood right there next to her and sang my heart out.

I sang about beauty and love…trial and triumph…the past and the future. And I meant every word…every syllable.

My heart was hers…whether she accepted it or not…whether this would ever work out or not…it was hers.

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I don't think I've ever heard _Broken_ sound so beautiful before.

Every word sounded so heartfelt…so clear. My mind spun and my heart ached…it just rose and fell over me the way no other song had, and with every phrase…every chord…my heart knew how it felt about this man standing next to me…I could no longer hide it.

He stood right next to me, facing the audience, his words capturing everyone's attention.

As much as I wanted to look out there, watch their faces as they sang along, I couldn't tear my eyes away from Edward. His fingers flew over the guitar as if they had a mind of their own, so fluid and beautiful. I was hypnotized…by his talent…his words…by _him_.

The screaming didn't stop…not even when the song was over, or when he shouted out to the crowd how much he loved them…when he said my name out loud, waving his hand in front of me, "Miss Isabella Swan everyone!"

My heart skipped when I heard him say that, it just sounded so beautiful…so perfect.

He helped me off the stool, squeezing my hand as he did that, and led me back to the same spot I had been standing before.

I knew he had to get back onstage, there were still more songs to sing, so when I was safely deposited backstage again, I turned to him, feeling him let go of my hand, and smiled.

"Thank you baby." That's all he whispered, but it meant the world to me.

I didn't know what to expect when the concert was over. Alice was nowhere to be seen and Edward had been whisked away back to his dressing room by the crew.

I just stood quietly backstage, watching with solemn eyes as the rest of the team broke down the set.

My heart felt full at the moment and I kept trying to avoid thinking about Tanya…and how she was probably back at Edward's dressing room…with him.

I pondered this for a few minutes, finally glancing down at myself. I might as well try to find my way back to my dressing room to change. No sense in staying dressed like this.

The hallways were dim as I passed through, I had to turn and backtrack twice because everything looked the same to me, I was grateful when I spotted one of the crew who pointed me in the right direction.

My dressing room wasn't labeled…and it was nowhere near Edward's, so I knew I wouldn't be seeing him nearby.

I closed the door behind me tightly and walked on over the mirror, starring at my reflection for the longest time.

Coming face to face with Edward's wife had given me a whole new perspective on things, and that little voice in the back of my head started lecturing me…warning me that I better get myself in order…tell my heart to behave…figure out my priorities.

My brain was smart enough to know that I had a wonderful man at home…a man who loved me…a man I didn't have to share.

But what neither my brain or that little voice didn't understand was, that even though I knew better…even though I already realized that if I kept going down this path, it would only lead to a lot of broken hearts…it wasn't enough to stop this tiny seed of love and hope from growing in my heart.

And I didn't know if I could just walk away from it.

Maybe it was time for me to give it all up…to go home and forget that I ever met Edward Cullen. To pretend none of this had ever happened to me. I probably should…it was clear that Edward's wife loved him. They had a home…they had children.

The thoughts tore at me, making me squeeze my eyes shut to hold back the sob that threatened to erupt.

I didn't hear the door open, or even know anyone was there in the room with me, until I heard my name.

"Miss Bella?"

And that beautiful accent…it just washed over me…feather light...yet strong enough to knock me over.

I spun around more in surprise than anything else.

Edward stood there, a rugged handsome cowboy…wearing those perfectly tight jeans, that dark grey collared shirt, his hat still resting on his head.

"I don't have a lot of time…" his eyes bore into mine, begging me to understand, "I have to go back…I just wanted to see you…to tell you…" He was struggling with his words, not making much sense at all, but it was the sound of his voice…so distraught and full of anguish, I could already feel the pull of my heart…urging me to go to him.

I fought against it, taking these big gulps of air…telling myself to stay strong.

"You were great out there…" Edward's voice grew clearer as he spoke, and his eyes wouldn't leave their hold on me. "_I_…the audience…loved you…"

I just kept standing there, wishing his words wouldn't have such an affect on me…it was all I could do not to beg him to stay.

"Bella…" he took another step towards me, his voice cracking just a little bit, "There's a lot of stuff that's probably going to happen in the next few hours…the next few days…and I'm not going to be able to explain any of it…but before it happens, and just in case you get on that plane without saying goodbye…I wanted to give you this…"

I didn't see it at first, the black box in his hand. I was too busy watching his eyes and listening to the tremor in his voice.

He opened the box and held it out to me, waiting for me to notice…to respond.

The gasp that escaped me took me by surprise, sent waves of emotion coursing through my veins.

My hands flew up wanting to cover my face, but my eyes stayed glued to that beautiful glistening blue stone nestled beneath the black velvet.

It sparkled as he moved towards me, and when he lifted the necklace out of the box I could see two tiny white diamonds attached to the sapphire stone.

I stood frozen in shock as his trembling fingers fumbled with the clasp, my breath escaping in jagged spurts when I felt his hands brush lightly across my neck.

"It's for you to remember me by…" the gruffness to his voice threw me further into the turmoil I was already in. It sounded so raw…so final.

My heart was hanging by a thread…my body still immobile.

I didn't even know where to begin…to thank him…to say goodbye?

He watched me carefully for a moment, reaching out and touching the necklace one last time; I could feel the warmth of his fingers near my collarbone.

"It looks beautiful…just like you…" he turned away quickly, as if those words hurt him, and walked back to the door.

He didn't open it right away.

His body stayed silently still. I could see his shoulders rise and fall with his breathing.

Seeing his hand rest on the doorknob shook me…everything inside me was screaming that this was goodbye…that I wasn't going to see him again.

If I had to leave…if I was going to leave…there's was only one thing I needed to do…without regret…

I didn't listen to my brain this time. I just blurted out "Wait!" and literally flew across the room and into his arms.

The force of my body made us both slam into the door…but neither of us seemed to feel the impact.

My arms wrapped around his neck and I pulled him down to me, tilting my head to the side, trying to memorize every second…every feeling that coursed through me.

He didn't pull back at all. His arms moved around my waist, pulling me roughly to him while his lips found mine hungrily. His grip was tight…possessive… and I could hear the half grunt, half moan as he slid his tongue into my mouth.

I let my hands slide down the back of his shirt, feeling every tense muscle, every brief movement as he flexed and pulled me closer to his body. The way his tongue danced and played over mine just sent this deep, searing, hot flame flow through me, and I pushed my tongue back at his…urging him on, not holding anything back.

His hands moved from my waist up my spine and then back down again, teasing me…torturing me. They tangled up in my hair, pulling out some of the little pins that were holding up my curls, I could feel my hair fall free against my cheek and he moaned again when his hand brushed along the back of my head, my hair swaying through his fingertips.

My breathing quickened when I felt his hands free themselves from my hair and slide in a downward motion…past my shoulder blades…trailing down my spine…going lower still until they came to a questioning pause right above the curve of my bottom.

I wanted to feel him…feel his hands roam in places that wanted him the most…that needed him the most.

My back arched slightly and I thrust my tongue harder into his mouth giving him silent permission, much like the permission he had given me back at the pool the night before.

He almost took it.

His fingers flexed. I could feel them beneath the silky material of my dress. The heat of his hands was driving me crazy, and by out of pure uncontrollable want my own hands found themselves traveling down the front of his shirt, lingering near the small snaps.

He let out another grunt, kissing me harder, and the next few seconds flew in the blink of an eye.

His right hand pressed into my bottom and slid right down into my thigh, squeezing along the way. I managed to pull open the first snap on his shirt, gasping in surprise and pleasure at the feel of his hand. It took another ten seconds before either one of us could hear the alarm in Alice's voice as she pounded at the door.

"Bella! Are you in there? Please open the door Bella!" her voice invaded my senses and I tried to block it out…block out any fraction of reality.

Edward grunted again, and this time it sounded out of annoyance. His body began to stiffen in my arms and I could feel my own do the same.

We both slowly became more and more aware of what was around us, than what was inside us.

He was breathing just as hard as I was and he pressed his forehead to mine, closing his eyes, seemingly trying to get a hold of himself.

I was trying to do the same. Still clutching onto him, but slowly letting him go all the same, not giving into the panic that I knew would come when he'd step back, and out of my life.

"Bella! Is Edward with you? Bella?" Alice's voice rose higher in alarm.

It caused both Edward and I to let go at the same time.

"I'm…I'm in here Alice." My voice shook terribly, and I glanced up into Edward's eyes. They were already filled with pain again as he looked back at me…they almost seemed to be pleading with me.

"Please open the door Bella. Is Edward in there?" Alice's voice seemed more calm now, and she lowered it to almost a whisper.

"Ye…yes." I was sure she could hear the defeat in my tone as I finally tore my eyes away from the one man who was beginning to mean everything to me, and pulled open the door for Alice.

Alice looked at both of us with alarm; her eyes were wider than I'd ever seen them before. She looked at me first, then Edward, and I'm sure she was putting it all together in her head.

"Thank you Bella…" she began softly, giving me an apologetic glance.

Her voice changed though when she turned to Edward, it wasn't harsh, just full of sympathy and fear, "I'm sorry Edward…you have to go back…you can't be in here. There are all kinds of press waiting for you and Tanya. She brought a corral of people over there and you know how that goes…"

I didn't say anything and Edward nodded his head slightly, the silence after Alice's words was deafening.

Everything after that played out in slow motion…agonizing…painful…slow motion.

And I had a front row seat of it all.

Tanya never left Vegas.

She stayed right by Edward's side the entire time.

So I got to see firsthand.

All the red carpet pictures they took together…_smiling_.

All the hand holding…the kisses on the cheek…the way she would cling to his arm.

And he never let her go…through the entire thing.

The last three days in Vegas were pure torture for me.

I tried my best to keep a pleasant face, not to show any emotion. But every night it took all my strength not to cry my eyes out, knowing he was sharing a bed with her…something he would never share with me.

Alice took me to the airport on my last day in Vegas.

I was flying back on a commercial airline as Tanya and Edward were flying back in his plane to Nashville together.

Alice was quiet the entire way, her eyes looked so tired, as if she hadn't any sleep.

The last thing she said, before I passed the security check, was a somber, "The video for _Shine_ is going to be released in three weeks. We wanted to get it out there right away so that it would fall on the heels of _Broken_…and…the nominations…for the ACM's…those are going to be announced any day now. We're almost positive _Broken_ is going to sweep those. I'll let you know."

I didn't answer her, just nodded numbly, trying to hold onto my last shred of dignity.

It didn't matter anymore.

Nothing mattered anymore.

And I just wanted to go home…

* * *

><p><strong>Sometimes things hurt before they get better...and they will get better...just don't leave me. <strong>

**XOXO**

**MBella**


	14. Stay

**Hi ya'll! Hope the weekend is going great for ya! I got some stuff to say.**

**First you need to find a nice comfortable spot...a place where you won't be interrupted for a while, cause this chapter is long. I mean real long. Over 19,000 words long...:O**

**My usual average chapter is somewhere around 6,000 words, but before you start to panic, this isn't the end. It's just that there was no way to cut this...everything you read here has to be like this, read in one shot, I couldn't break it up anywhere and the crazy woman in me needs it to be perfect...just right.**

**Ok, so that said. You've found your spot, right? You're ready, right? As you read, you need to hang on...I'll talk with you more at the bottom, cause I'm pretty sure you're gonna need to hear from me again at that point. :D**

**So now you're really ready. Remember, no interruptions!**

**Song of the day: **_**Stay**_** by Sugarland**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, I own all the country goodness.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>When we're good you know we're great...<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I couldn't function.

At all…

Couldn't eat.

Couldn't sleep.

It took all my willpower to get out of bed in the morning…to brush my teeth…my hair.

It didn't matter what I wore to work…didn't matter who I talked to. I just wanted to curl up in a ball on my sofa and let the T.V. take my mind off the huge hole cutting into my heart.

My body physically hurt. Every movement, no matter how minimal, just sent waves of pain shooting through me.

And the worst thing…

Jake.

I couldn't even look him in the eyes anymore.

I half tip toed around him at home, hoping I looked normal but I know he noticed…I know everybody noticed.

He didn't ask me about my demeanor…didn't ask me how Vegas went or if I filmed another video. He never said the name Edward Cullen out loud, or where I got that sapphire necklace that hung around my neck. He just kept moving around me…going about his routine the same old way…watching me with silent eyes but never reaching out for me.

I was actually relieved he didn't. I wouldn't have been able to handle it. Probably would have burst into tears.

I felt weak for the first time in my life…and I hated it.

The first two weeks back at home I hung onto the phone Edward gave me for dear life, hoping he or Alice would call, but the phone stayed silent, wreaking havoc on my already fragile heart.

I checked my email regularly, my eyes searching frantically for something from Alice…_anything_…hoping beyond hope I would hear from her, but it always stayed empty.

So little by little I came upon the realization that this was it. It was over…gone…despite what my heart cried out for every day, he was gone.

Still, as time passed, the days never got any better. I just went through the motions like some heartbroken zombie, not missing a beat in my old routine but not really caring about anything.

I should've been thankful that my heart hadn't been more invested…that I hadn't given Edward more. I tried to reason with myself…whisper to myself that I should be considered lucky. But deep down inside, I knew…

I wished I had given him _everything_…every part of me, because now I was just a shell of my former self, with nothing to show for it.

By the time the third and fourth week rolled around, I no longer expected to hear from Alice, and most definitely not from Edward. I avoided the country music channels on my television at all costs; it just hurt too much to see Edward's beautiful face singing on that screen. It was tough, not giving in to the burning curiosity of watching the new video, knowing it premiered without a phone call or acknowledgement from Edward.

What I couldn't avoid was the radio. Jake always had the radio on when he was home, he still loved listening to _The Highway_ country music channel on our satellite radio, so I heard _Shine_ being played over and over again, the DJ announcing that Edward Cullen was up for a surprising six ACM's, including Video of the Year.

My heart soared when I heard that, and then dived when the memories of Edward's kiss, the feel of his hands, sent another pang of hurt swirling over me.

Finally, out of desperation, I threw myself into reorganizing every closet in the house. Throwing out huge garbage bags filled to the top with stuff Jake and I no longer used.

Jake helped me haul the bags out to the curb for pick up, commenting that I had done a good job, and for some reason his words just drowned me in guilt.

The next evening he brought home dinner from our favorite Chinese place as a surprise. Even though I didn't have much of an appetite I tried my best to smile and thank him, sit across from him and pretend to eat. We chatted casually, and it was nice to see Jake smile again, even if everything on my end was forced.

It seemed like I was pretending a lot these days…and three nights later I was really put to the test when after we had gone to bed, the lights completely off, I felt Jake's hand slide gently over my waist and down my thigh.

The shock of his hand made my eyes snap open and a knot form in my stomach. I knew I couldn't turn down his advances, he was still my husband, and he still had needs.

He wasn't rough or controlling…he'd never been that way, he was soft and kind, and to my overwhelming guilty relief, he was quick.

I tried to respond…to let my body feel…but it was impossible. Every time I closed my eyes, I could only see one man, so I nearly held my breath the entire time, hoping that one day I could be the wife Jake needed again.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I was so fucking pissed it wasn't even funny.

Tanya was lucky she made it out of Vegas alive, and it was all due to Alice stepping in every other second to make sure we both stayed in line.

When Alice told me she had sent Bella home all by herself without giving me a chance to say goodbye, on a commercial flight no less, I was ready to call everything off and hop on the next flight after her.

Once the radio festival and my concerts were over, Tanya suddenly left just as quietly as she appeared, flying out sometime in the middle of the night without a moments notice.

"You can't go after Bella, Edward." The exhaustion in Alice's voice fell on deaf ears, nor did it wipe the frown off my face. I just wanted to get out of Vegas as fast as possible. Still, Alice moved in front of me, her hands on her hips, "This was a close enough call, and we need to get a little bit smarter if…if we're going to keep this up. We are keeping it up, _right_?"

Her words jerked me to attention and I just stared at her, trying to see if she was talking about what I thought she was.

"I mean…_nobody_ wants you to stop seeing Bella. Not Jasper, not Emmett, not even me. We all see the difference in you…how _happy_ you are, and you deserve that Edward, you really do." Alice glanced around her carefully before lowering her voice, "But it's taboo…it's against everything we're supposed to stand for…everything _you_ stand for…and it could ruin you."

I felt like a deflated balloon, an emotional mess, I knew she was right…it could ruin me.

While affairs and divorces weren't rare in the country world, they were always very well hidden. Protected by the agents and record labels themselves.

The media almost never figures out who is sleeping with whom in the country music scene, but on the rare occasions they do come across a tasty morsel…it always ends up in disaster. LeAnn Rimes was one of the well-known victims of the media screwing her over, publishing her affair all over the world. While it happened years ago, she was still struggling today to clean up her image, and her musical career never fully recovered.

"Well what do you suggest I do Alice? Let Tanya ruin my fucking life? It's already fucked up; I've already given her everything. Should I let her take Bella away from me too? I don't want to do that…" I pressed my eyes closed trying to steady my nerves.

"No. No…we aren't going to let Tanya do that…_that's_ why we have to be smart. Look Edward, there's only one reason I can think of why Tanya came to Vegas, and that was because she's already guessing exactly why Bella is suddenly everywhere you are. She's guessing Bella is more than just a video girl. She tried to catch you here…to gain the upper hand. We can't ever let her have the upper hand. And there's only one way to make sure that never happens…" Alice shook her head, her eyes deadly serious.

"One way?" I cocked my head to the side. Alice knew what she was talking about; it was obvious why Tanya suddenly showed up in Vegas, with a photographer no less.

"I think first you need to hang low…at least for a little while. Keep Bella out of the limelight. And then you need to figure out if you're ready to do this, because there won't be any turning back." Alice's words sent a prickle of anticipation shoot down my back; there was finally…_finally_…someone who understood, who was on my side.

"And then there's the hardest part…" Alice took a breath, giving me a wary smile.

"What's the hardest part?" I asked her, but I think I already knew what she was going to say…and to tell you the truth; I think I was going to agree with her.

"You have to make sure Bella wants this too, and if she does, you have to tell her the truth…about your life, about your marriage…about everything…" she shrugged.

It took all my willpower.

Not to call Bella.

To lie low.

I hated it. Bella consumed my every waking thought…my every dream. Her beautiful smile and bright eyes constantly swirled in my head. And the heat of her kiss, the way she wrapped her arms around me…it just played over and over in my brain, not giving me any rest.

I flew to the next venue, missing Bella every step of the way. Tried my damnedest to keep up the charade of a country music superstar having the time of his life. I made my required appearances for the release of the video _Shine_.

Those were the most difficult. Watching Bella on the big screen, dancing around me, sparkling like a diamond…reminding me of everything I wanted…everything I missed. Wishing she could be here to share this with me.

Alice didn't let me call Bella when the video premiered. It was the complete opposite of how we shared _Broken_. _Shine _came out on a Monday morning and I watched it sitting solemnly in the back of my bus, all by myself, wondering if Bella was watching it somewhere all by herself.

It was another hit. I knew it would be. I knew everything Bella touched would sparkle and shine just like her. The news was buzzing that Edward Cullen finally found his niche in videos…finally conquered his one weakness.

If only they really knew…

Jasper and Emmett were jumping out of their seats when the ACM nominations were announced. We were up for six, including Video of the Year, a category we'd never been nominated for, so they were pretty ramped up about it.

My gut told me _Shine_ would follow that same direction, it was just that pure physical attraction that both Bella and I shared on film…I knew it reached the fans, sent the message of the song right through their hearts.

What I didn't know was if Bella and I would ever make another video again. What Alice said to me back in Vegas was still taking up all my free thoughts. I would have to tell Bella the truth…about my life…about everything…and hope that she would still want to be a part of it. I was going to have to take that risk…all or nothing.

And each day that I crossed off my calendar just filled me with a sense of dread. For every day that we were apart, put more and more empty space between us, pushing her that much closer to her husband.

The thought did torture me…wondering how she spent her days, and agonizing how she spent her nights. If she thought of me at all, if she missed me, or worse, if she hated me. I would purposely throw myself into my music whenever the thought of her with her husband even remotely entered my mind. Just knowing that he had her…all of her…whenever he wanted, was more than enough to send me over the edge, and I took it out on every single one of my guitars.

It never went away.

The suffocating longing, the stifling fear…they nearly consumed me in the weeks that passed. I was more than relieved when I found myself with a two-week reprieve from my tour. With nothing more to do than attend the nomination party back home in Nashville. Maybe being at home would do me some good, and when I finally walked through my front door looking around all this lonely space, it dawned on me exactly what I had to do here.

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

"How was your afternoon Babe?"

Jake was in a good mood. He shook off his work coat and came from behind me, giving me a brief hug, startling me from my daydream.

"It was fine." I gave him a small smile and turned quickly back to the dishes in the sink, hoping my eyes hadn't given me away _who_ I had been daydreaming about, "I took a walk; it's a beautiful day out there. I didn't want to be cooped up in the house."

"Sure is…the sun is out in full force. It's going to make me regret this next long haul I have to leave on." Jake grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on the counter and reached for the mail with his free hand.

"You're leaving?" I stopped mid scrub and turned to him with a small frown. The thought of being all alone in this house was making me panic.

I know Jake mistook my words, my tone, thinking that I didn't want him to leave because I would miss him, "I gotta go for two weeks babe, maybe three. Making my way to sunny California this time." He smiled at me, probably glad that he had gotten some kind of emotional reaction out of me.

"Three weeks…" I could feel the floor give under me, and I gripped the sink for balance. I wouldn't be able to function by myself for the three weeks; with nothing to distract me from Edward, my own mind would torture me until I'd go crazy with emotion.

Jake eyed me quickly, his hand slowly losing hold on the envelope he had been looking at. It floated back down onto the counter. "If it bothers you, you can come with me." This time his words were guarded, his voice steady, trying to hide the hope that still somehow still could be heard.

My mind spun…once again torn with guilt…spending three weeks holed up in such close quarters with Jake didn't appeal to me in any way…but I feared it would be no different than roaming aimlessly in my house, trying to avoid thinking of Edward.

I tried to shake my head, giving Jake what I hoped, was a reassuring smile, "It's okay, really. I'm suppose to meet up with Jessica on the weekend anyways…I _promised _her…"

"Yeah sure. Not a problem. I'm not leaving 'til tomorrow morning." He cut me off, his tone flat, his hand already in the air. He turned his back to me before I could say anything else.

I didn't feel relief at his words…just anxiety…dread. There would be nothing to stop those haunting thoughts of Edward now…nothing to break up those brief periods of longing that still swallowed me during the day. It would be just my grief and me, with nothing in between.

The first few hours after Jake left the next morning were the worst ones. I tried to keep myself busy…cleaned and re-cleaned the kitchen, arranged all the pictures over the fireplace, dusted the cupboards. Nothing needed cleaning really; I had kept the house spotless in the last few weeks, more than I ever had.

When there was nothing else to be done, I tossed my dusting rag into the empty laundry basket and plopped myself down on the sofa. I debated whether to call Jessica or not, I knew if I did call her she would want to know all the details of my so called glamorous life being in Edward Cullen's videos, I would most likely not be able to talk about him without my heart giving me away, so I hesitated, wishing I had some other escape.

Out of habit, I reached up and touched the necklace Edward given me. I never took it off, didn't have the heart to let it go yet, so it stayed hanging around my neck…a glistening reminder of the man I could never have.

As much as my heart and brain fought with each other, I already knew my heart would win. If Edward ever wanted me back in his life again I wouldn't be able to say _no, _it was just physically impossible. It would always be yes for him.

Just knowing that made me restless…even angry at myself. I should be stronger…but I wasn't.

The short raps at my door shook me from my thoughts and I pushed back the ache, getting up to answer the door.

It was a Fed Ex guy, holding a box. He smiled and handed it to me, wishing me a good day before leaving. I thought it was for Jake at first, Uncle Ember sometimes sent paperwork and other documents Jake would need to sign for his hauls, but when I turned the box over I saw that it was addressed to me.

Even though the box was fairly large, when I opened it, there were only two papers inside, one larger than the other.

With a small frown I glanced down at the larger one. It looked like some sort of agenda or time frame, it had today's date on the top, and the first indicated time started at five pm with the words _Service Car_ next to it.

The world suddenly shifted underneath me as my eyes flew over the page, all I could see were words like _Boarding_ and _Flight_ popping out at me like red-hot firecrackers.

With trembling hands I reached for the smaller paper trying not to let that delirious bubble of hope to build inside me, but it burst forth when I saw that the second paper was a boarding pass for Edward's plane…to Nashville.

The next few hours passed in a flurry of activity. I showered and changed, finally showing some signs of life. My cheeks were flushed, my eyes bright once again. I was so excited and so scared at the same time. My heartbeat just kept getting faster and faster as every hour ticked by, and when the service car finally arrived, my entire body was shaking with anticipation.

"Bella!" Alice's was grabbing me in a huge bear hug and I hugged her back fiercely. The airport was bustling with activity, people hurrying about their way, it felt so good to be alive all of a sudden.

"Alice! I missed you."

"God, this has been the longest month ever! I'm so glad to see you. I didn't know if you would come or not with such a short notice. I was keeping my fingers crossed the whole time." Alice looked as beautiful as ever, her voice bubbly and excited.

"The ticket said Nashville. I figured it was important." I gave her the first excuse I could think of, knowing she could probably see right through me.

"Come on, let's get on the plane. It's just going to be you and me. Edward's already home. Don't be disappointed okay. There's some stuff we need to talk about anyways."

Her words sent sudden anxiety flowing through me and the thought that maybe Edward had nothing to do with this crossed my mind. "Does…does he know? That I'm coming?" my steps had slowed down as we crossed over to board.

"Oh yeah…he knows…" Alice half giggled, trying to reassure me, "He's jumping out of his skin back home. I didn't let him come. First I want to talk to you without him interrupting every two seconds. And second, there's some stuff he has to do before the nomination party, so I have him pretty busy right now."

"Nomination party?" I turned to Alice in question, "what's that?"

"Oh, you're gonna love it. It's hosted at the Opry. No media, and no fans, just artists. We all sit around and talk and eat, and just be real. It's in two days."

"Two days?" My voice rose in alarm and Alice giggled again waving me to sit down next to her.

"Don't panic, I have the perfect little number for you to wear. Edward hasn't seen it, I picked it out, and it's perfect." I could hear the excitement in her voice, it was contagious, and I knew I was smiling at her, "But before we get into all that I have to apologize to you Bella, for the ways things went in Vegas. I know it really hurt you; it hurt me to see you that way. I hated that I couldn't do anything to change that. And I'm really sorry that I didn't call you, while you were home. I was so busy with the video release and the media and everything; I just never could find the right time."

"It's okay Alice, I understand…" I tried cut in, holding up my hand, she didn't need to apologize to me.

"No Bella, it's not okay, and it felt really wrong to keep you in the dark, to treat you like we did. You're a part of our team and from now on you're going to be involved in everything, I hope."

My head tilted on it's own at her words, trying to make sense of what she was telling me. I didn't know how to answer her so I just accepted her apology and offered her my own in return.

She seemed to breath easier after that, chatting the rest of the way about the nomination party, our dresses, and the other videos that were also nominated for video of the year.

"Edward's not excited about Entertainer of the Year at all this year. He gets nominated every year, so he's used to that nomination. But this is his first Video of the Year nomination; we're all so pumped up about it. Jasper told me that if we win we have to send you anywhere you want to go, as a thank you, even if you want to go to the moon!"

Our laughter filled the plane, and I promised Alice that the moon was not one of the places I always dreamed of going.

When the plane touched down and we exited, another service car was waiting for us…well, more so, waiting for me…

"It'll take you where you're going to be staying. I need to head down to Jared's studio for some paperwork that needs to be picked up. I'll meet up with you later on…maybe in the morning or sometime later, so we can try on your dress, make sure it fits perfect, okay? Keep your phone handy."

"Okay…thank you Alice." I didn't ask her the question that was already burning a hole through my pocket; I didn't ask her if I would be seeing Edward tonight…if he even knew where I would be staying.

I never been to Nashville before, and knowing I was here in the same town where Edward lived made me scoot up near the window, trying to take in all the sights that I saw passing by as the car whizzed along. It was already late evening but the streets were still busy, people walking leisurely on the sidewalks. The service car drove past what looked like downtown…cute little restaurants and clubs all bursting at the seams with activity.

We still kept driving…soon, there were fewer lights, and then little by little, the buildings began to thin out. The car turned left through some neighborhoods…the houses were dark, people were probably already sleeping. Once we passed a large green park and what seemed to be a baseball field, we came upon what looked like the business section of Nashville perhaps…tall office buildings…large hotels…I started to guess that this is where I would be staying…in one of those hotels.

But the car never pulled into any of the hotels…the wheels moved over the pavement at a steady pace…at least another half hour or so. The roads narrowed and began to curve more. We went up and down some small hills and then larger ones. I no longer saw houses, or hotels, or really much of anything other than trees.

I was calm at first, but of course the dark road and spooky looking trees began to create scenarios in my suspicious mind where I was met with a murderous death at the hands of the service car driver.

It was short lived though, because not minutes after that crazy thought popped into my head, the car suddenly swung around another curve, and I could see that we were traveling up a long winding pathway or driveway of some sort. I nearly had my nose pressed up against the glass trying to see where the path led. New visions of a large grand hotel flew across my thoughts and I wondered if Edward would be there to greet me.

I guess because my mind was so set on arriving at a hotel my eyes automatically expected to see it when the car finally came to a stop, just feet away from a large log cabin designed building.

The driver didn't say anything to me, just walked around the car and opened my door. I slid out still looking up in awe at such majestic architecture in front of me. Cobblestone steps led up to these two extremely huge double wooden doors with brass handles, partially framed by gorgeous etched, stained glass windows. Light blazed brightly behind those windows, reflecting tiny colors all around it, and I was amazed that such a beautiful creation was out here hidden away from everything.

I turned to the driver, an older gentleman, thanking him for the drive and feeling a bit foolish that I had ever thought he might want to murder me. He just nodded and waved his hand towards the cobblestone steps.

That's when those two wooden doors opened.

My world shifted once more when my eyes finally focused. There was no doorman standing there, or hotel clerk…

No…the only thing I saw were those whiskered jeans and brown rugged boots, that navy blue tee shirt that showed off muscular arms and tan skin, and when my eyes finally rested on the baseball cap and little boy grin…I suddenly knew exactly where I was…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I thought I was going to be nervous, expected my heart to be racing…but when I saw her step out of the car and look up at my house with those wide brown eyes all lit up like a million stars...my sapphire necklace that I given her still hanging around her neck…I knew then, that this was the right thing…the right way to do this.

She'd already taken a step before she froze, and I could tell by her expression exactly when she realized that she was standing in front of my house.

I think I skipped both cobblestone steps in my haste to make it to her before she had the chance to panic and flee. I waved to the driver, signaling he was dismissed, still moving quickly so that I was already standing next to her by the time she turned her head towards the already retreating driver.

I expected some resistance. Thought I would have to do some convincing and reassuring before she would come inside, but luck was smiling at me tonight.

"Welcome to Nashville. Beautiful night, isn't it Miss Bella?" I cocked my head to the side smiling down at her, trying to keep my shaking hands stuffed into my jean pockets.

"Edward…is this…a…house? Yours? Yes, it's beautiful night…" She stuttered a little bit, still too much in shock, but there was a smile…a small one.

"This is my house…please, come inside." I reached for her small carry on bag and waved one hand up towards the house. I was being very careful not to touch her…not wanting to scare her away.

She gave me a bigger smile then, looking back up to my house and back to me, but it quickly disappeared with her next words, "Thank you. It looks beautiful. Is this where you…_your family_ lives?"

"This is where _I_ live." I didn't want to start all of my explaining out here, without having set one foot in the house yet, but I understood her hesitation, the thought that maybe Tanya was inside just waiting to pounce. "Sometimes my son comes to visit me here…but mostly, he lives in New York…with his mother…with Tanya."

She eyed me quietly at first, her mouth opening as if she wanted to ask more questions, but then she blinked, and I guess she changed her mind.

"Please won't you come inside? I have some sweet tea if you're thirsty." I wanted to reach out for her arm…to guide her up the steps and inside, but I knew we were starting all over from this point, I knew better than to touch her.

"Thank…thank you." She was still trying to figure me out…figure it all out, but it didn't stop me from breathing a great big sigh of relief when I finally got her inside the front door.

I placed her bag down in the foyer next to the wooden buffet that held a few pictures of my parents and of my son. Bella studied those quickly before tearing her eyes away…looking all around her, the wooden carved chandelier…the red bricks that framed off one side of the wall…twig branches that stood over six feet tall in bold ceramic vase near the corner…never focusing on any one thing for more than a few seconds.

"A lot of this stuff is hand made…" I offered, trying to keep up with curiosity I saw in her eyes, "By people who live here in town…some of it custom, one of a kind."

"It's…all so…wow." She breathed, her cheeks flushed, her eyes wide with wonder. "I've never seen anything so beautiful…so wonderful."

I'm pretty sure I grinned at her. She was just too darn adorable when she was awestruck, and her words…while she didn't say a whole lot, the way her mouth dropped open and that breathless tone, it was the reaction I always imagined I would see from the woman who would share my life with me, when I showed her _our_ house.

"Would you like to see the living room? The sweet tea is in there." I nodded at her, hoping I could get her to come further inside, hoping she would start trusting me again.

"Uh yes…of course…thank you." Her voice sounded so entrancing, echoing across the room in the smallest whisper, filling in all that empty, lonely space in an instant.

I knew the wooden spiral staircase was going to be the first thing she would notice when we walked into the living room…I didn't want her stunned speechless for hours tonight…didn't want the shock value to wear her out, so I mentioned it before she could actually see it…

"There were two young fellows into wood carving when this house was being built, they were still in school…architect school…they needed a place to show off their creativity, and I liked their ideas…I liked _them_…so I hired 'em, two young kids, not the fancy New York architects that Alice suggested. They built me a staircase that leads up to all three levels of the house…and I think they did a damn good job too…"

"There are three levels…" but her words were cut off by her gasp, she finally saw it.

"I'll brag about those two boys to anyone who'll listen to me." I chuckled, more at her reaction than anything else, "Well, they're not boys anymore…they're men now, and self made millionaires."

She turned to me with this delighted look, shaking her head a little bit, "You are…you are just so_ nice_." She said with pride.

It shook me…sent my heart thundering and my chest swelling, I always felt it…when she said things like that to me…that she could see inside me…the real me…

"The world's a lot happier when everyone is nice." I grinned at her again, mentally holding myself back from moving too fast, this night was designed to be about talking…explaining…and honesty. Those things had to happen first.

She nodded at me, following me past the staircase and over to the stone fireplace. "These stones were taken from my parent's house…in West Virginia. I had them placed around the fireplace…they reach all the way to the ceiling. When I was a boy I would spend an insane amount of time climbing over these stones across from the lake where I lived. There were hundreds of them. It was weird cause those were the only stones you could see for miles, all piled on top of one another. I would climb all the way to the top pretending I was a superhero or something like that…"

She giggled quietly and reached out to touch one of them, her fingers gliding over the smooth rock slowly. Her eyes had a faraway look to them as she did that, it caused a lump to form in my throat, that look in her eyes, as if she could already see my past.

"It's absolutely stunning…" she breathed, "A fireplace made for a true superhero…" her eyes danced over mine in childlike fascination, making me a million times more satisfied that I brought her here.

I was breathing a little easier now. She looked genuinely happy to be here, didn't look like she wanted to run away or hide. Since I was feeling more confident, I pulled her attention away from the fireplace and over to a single wooden guitar mounted up on the wall…all by itself.

"Is this yours?" She leaned forward, bringing her head very close the guitar as to inspect it.

"Yes it's mine. It was my first one…my grandfather's. This is the guitar he gave me for Christmas when I was eight years old…"

"This is the one?" She turned to me excitedly and then back to the guitar, "You told me about that…that your grandfather taught you how to play."

"Yeah…he taught me how to play this very one. Tried to teach me Jingle Bells that very Christmas Eve." I chuckled, half remembering how disappointed I felt opening that guitar and how much it also changed my life.

She studied it for a quiet minute longer and then turned to me seriously and said,

"I bet Christmas is amazing here…"

And I could tell she had been picturing all along what she thought this house must hold…a million sentimental memories… memories, that in reality, had never even been created.

"There's never been a Christmas here…" my heart was suddenly beating hard, more out of anxiety than anything else. I didn't want her to imagine me sharing this house with anyone but her…I didn't want her to picture Tanya here. "Come on over and make yourself comfortable. Have some tea." I moved quickly past the guitar and down to the leather couches, giving her no choice but to follow me.

"You've never had Christmas here? Christmas Eve?" I could hear her voice behind me all full of confusion and puzzlement.

"Never even a tree…" I shrugged, grabbing the pitcher of tea and pouring us each a glass.

"Oh…" she paused for a second and sat down with a small frown, trying to figure it out, she accepted the glass I offered her with a thankful smile, and kept quiet until her eyes lit up suddenly, "Oh I see…you must all go somewhere for Christmas then…maybe out of the country…some exotic place? With your family?" She nodded brightly at me, satisfied with her own answer.

"I spent the last two Christmas's at my parent's house in West Virginia." I put my glass down without even drinking it, "It was just us three…my Mama, my Dad, and me. Tanya and Collin had Christmas in New York with her family. I flew down to New York maybe two weeks after to give my son his gifts."

I kept watching her eyes, seeing her head start to shake _no_ all on its own, her glass suspended halfway to her mouth.

"So there's never been a Christmas here." I continued, wishing I could blurt this out a whole lot faster. "I always imagined what it would look like…to have a Christmas here…a big ten foot tall Douglas Fir tree right there in the corner…colored lights going across all those wooden beams on the ceiling…maybe some stockings hanging over the fireplace. But it's never happened…"

"Why not? That doesn't make any sense…" Bella's voice was filled with frustration now, and stunned disbelief, tinted with a hint of anger, "She couldn't get away? From her movies or something?"

"Tanya could do whatever she wanted." And I was finally letting it all out. "She didn't want to come here for Christmas or any other holiday. She hates it here…hates this house…hates the country…the music…and I'm pretty sure she hates me too."

The only thing you could hear after that was Bella's gasp. It had been easier to say it than I thought. And once those words were out of my mouth, the weight that I had been carrying around with me all these years broke away as I sat in front of the only woman I would ever share this story with.

"She isn't a bad person…when I met her, she was actually very nice. I'm sure she still is nice. My agent thought she would be a good match for me. She wasn't the movie star she is now…just a small actress at the time, just like I was still a new up and coming musician…I think I only owned one guitar at the time, besides my grandfather's…" I half chuckled; getting lost in the memory, trying to show Bella it didn't hurt anymore. "There wasn't a big romance…wasn't love at first sight. We were set up on a blind date…we got along…we each needed a partner for our careers…thought we could make it work. And we did…for about a year."

I finally took a sip of my tea, giving Bella the chance to process all this new information. She still hadn't put her glass down, or even blinked, so I wanted to make sure she had the time she needed so she could make sense of this all. She stared at me in silence for several seconds, waiting for more. When I didn't continue, she finally blinked rapidly…her breathing leveled out, and she set her glass down with a shaky hand.

I knew she would have a million questions, so once I saw that she regrouped, I kept up with my story.

"Right after our son Collin was born she was offered several large movie roles around the same time my own career took off. She was filming in different states and my tour kept growing and growing…new places…new venues. There were times we didn't see or talk to each other for weeks, even months. Seth, my agent, found out first…that there was a man…living with her in New York. And while it should have been a crushing blow to me…it actually wasn't…I half expected it, I mean there wasn't anything left to our marriage…we weren't even friends. I just pushed it off to the back of my mind…threw myself in my tour and my music. Went to visit my son whenever I had the chance. She's never kept Collin away from me…not ever…"

Bella's tea was forgotten. Her eyes were locked to mine, her entire being focused on my words. I knew my story was affecting her, I could see it in her breathing…how it would quicken and fall with small short breaths. She waited patiently…somehow knowing that she didn't have to ask me anything…that I would tell her everything…willingly.

"We probably should have divorced then…maybe it wouldn't have affected our careers as bad as we imagined it would…maybe we would have recovered and bounced back easier at the time, but both Seth and Alice were dead set against it. It would hurt me, they said…_ruin me_. There are values…and morals…that country fans hold true...those same values and morals, they expect it from us singers too…divorce isn't one of them. Neither Seth nor Alice wanted to take that chance, not when I was finally breaking through on the big scene…the sellout arenas and stadiums. And to be completely honest…I didn't want to take that chance either…nor did Tanya. So we left it like that…like an unspoken agreement. Stopped talking to one another and let our agents do the talking for us. She comes here when her presence is required…when an event is media worthy…just like the radio festival. Seth usually arranges it…and a few times a year I'll attend a couple of her film premiers…award shows…it used to be easy…I thought I had my life together…but one day I woke up and realized I didn't…I was…"

Without even knowing it, I stopped talking; taking off my baseball cap in pure nervousness and fiddling with it before placing it back on my head again. This first part had been easy but now everything was going to get more difficult…because now I had to tell her…why that all changed…why it suddenly wasn't good enough anymore…the entire reason why she was sitting here in my house…

My mouth was dry…even with the tea, and I tried to think of the best way to start my next sentence.

She made it easy for me…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

"You were _Broken_…" That's all I could think of, and the words escaped me before I could take them back.

Edward didn't look startled when I whispered that to him, he actually nodded at me…his eyes widening that I understood so quickly...I'm not sure if I was actually understanding everything but it just clicked at that moment…the lyrics to _Broken _and the story he was telling me now…

"_Broken_…yeah…yeah I was. I don't think I even knew that, until then. You see Miss Bella; behind the singer…behind the so-called star…I'm still a simple country boy. I still want to ride my horses down those dirt roads out there, and fish in the lake that's behind this house. I want to walk through that front door and have the woman of my dreams be glad to see me. I want to climb in my truck and go to the drive-in with her. And on those hot summer days…the ones where the heat is almost unbearable… I want us to cool off under the water hose and then pull her up onto my tractor and take us out to the middle of the cornfield for a picnic. I want all that _first_…and then I want to sing…"

Everything he was saying…I could see it…envision it in my mind, it was so close…so real…as if he were talking about me…_about us_. His eyes never left mine, his voice stayed true and steady. Even though I could hear the raw hurt in it…the vulnerability…he kept telling me his story.

"I knew I was pretty unhappy with the ways things were going but I still didn't say anything. I realized it wasn't just my career on the line but the careers and lives of a whole lot of people who all depended on me, people who I actually loved, so I just kept my mouth shut about it. And I might have stayed that way…except that Tanya got pregnant again…"

That sent a shudder down my spine and I tried not to let my emotions show but he saw them anyways…my eyes must have given me away. He picked up one hand slowly, sort of in a stop fashion, nodding a little bit.

"Tanya got pregnant again, but the thing was…that little baby…wasn't mine…"

Everything in the room was spinning now. I couldn't stop it. Edward's spoken words were soft but they were booming in my head, ringing through my ears. I literally had to close my eyes to keep from falling over…to keep from crying out. I'm sure he knew this revelation was going to shock me because he stopped, I could hear him shifting in his seat and the sound of ice clinking in his glass as he took another drink of his tea.

"Not yours?" I half whispered. Maybe his words should've made me happy…relieved that he didn't father another child with Tanya…but there was no room for that…all I could do was ache…ache for him and all the pain he had to have endured.

"I haven't shared a bed with Tanya since Collin was eight months old. I think she tried to keep her pregnancy a secret at first, but some tabloid managed to snap a picture of her, it was obvious looking at her stomach that something was up. I heard it from Seth when she was about four months along…she did call me to tell me eventually…but I heard it from Seth first. And since there was nothing juicy or shady to report, the media made it sound like a happy announcement, congratulating us both. I didn't have a whole lot of time to think it over, I had to either come clean or accept it fast. Of course Seth convinced me to accept it. Telling me it wouldn't change anything…just make the fans love us a whole lot more…"

I was suddenly glad I could grip the glass of ice tea in my hands. I held onto it so tightly my skin was nearly white. I couldn't make out any of my emotions…shock, rage, and sadness. I wasn't sure how much more I could handle. Edward seemed to notice that, I saw brief glimpses of concern flash across his eyes as he spoke.

"Don't get me wrong. No one was forcing me to do anything I didn't want to do. I might not have been happy with my choices, but I thought I was doing what was best for my crew, and me, and maybe even what was best for Tanya. I don't push Brady away…he's not my biological son, but I'll be a part of his life as long as he lets me…"

Edward slid his glass away from him and I could sense that this part of the conversation was over. I know my brain was buzzing with more questions than I could even comprehend, but I stayed silent, trying to calm my nerves, trying to give him space, or time, or whatever he needed. I think the biggest thing of all, that I wanted to know, was why he was telling all this to _me_? Why me?

"So what you saw in Vegas…" Edward looked up at me, straightening up his shoulders a little bit, "was Tanya reminding me in her own way, of our agreement…"

I didn't know how to answer him…what to say, so I just nodded my head quietly, still trying to adjust.

"Everything I'm telling you now…still doesn't make up for the way I treated you in Vegas. I'm sorry Miss Bella. You didn't deserve what you went through in Vegas…not with Tanya…and not with me…"

I knew he was talking about the kiss. The real kiss, not the half attempt in the pool, and it bothered me. Out of everything, I didn't want him to apologize for that kiss, or regret that it ever happened. I watched his eyes carefully, trying to find the right words that would make him understand that I didn't regret it…and neither should he.

"I didn't understand a lot of what was happening around me in Vegas…" I tried to answer as honestly as I could, "but I know how _I_ felt…and I know that you're a great man, and you wouldn't do anything to hurt me…on purpose…"

I didn't know if I was making any sense, or if he understood what I was trying to say, but he smiled at me again…that little boy smile. It made me feel better…made me feel like everything would be okay.

"I haven't been a good host, you have to forgive me." He tilted his head to the side; his voice had changed…back to calm and friendly…teasing even… "I haven't shown you the rest of the house…or asked if you're hungry. You're the first person I've ever brought here, besides reporters, so I'm a little bit rusty."

It was my turn to smile. His words made me feel so special; he had such a unique way of doing that…making me feel special.

"You're a perfect host. You shouldn't worry." I shook my head at him, not wanting him to feel guilty.

"Not perfect. Far from it. But if you let me…I'll show you all sixteen rooms…and if you like them…I'll let you sleep in any one of them of your choosing…strictly platonic…" he held up both hands in a surrendering fashion.

I could see what he was trying to do…how he was trying to make up for everything…sort of like a clean slate.

Maybe…if we both tried…we could do this…be friends. Fight off the physical attraction. I gave him a nod and big smile… "Your house has _sixteen_ rooms?" I said with astonishment.

He chuckled at me, rising from his seat, "Seven bedrooms…four bath…soundproof studio…theater…gourmet kitchen…formal dining room…living room…come on I'll show you…and if you decide to stay, I'll take you horseback riding in the morning…"

When I opened my eyes the next day I half expected to be back in my old bed, in my house, back in Forks. It must have been a dream…a glorious, glorious dream. But no…it was real…walking from room to room with Edward, listening to all his little jokes and funny stories as he showed me around his house. Hearing the delight in his voice when I nearly squealed with glee at the sight of his master bathroom, the deep laughter that made his eyes crinkle when I tried on several of the oversize headphones he had in his sound studio, making me look like Minnie Mouse.

I picked the smallest, prettiest bedroom he had…to sleep in…and it wasn't really small at all. The bedroom itself had to be the size of my entire kitchen and living room back home. It had it's own bathroom with a whirlpool tub, and a shower that looked like it had a dozen different shower heads attached to it. The room itself was decorated in this beautiful burgundy reddish tone with sand white wood furniture and motorized retracting wooden blinds. Light colored pillows graced the queen-sized bed and similar smaller pillows rested on this long lounge chair underneath the big picture window.

We stayed up until sometime around four in the morning…him telling me stories about each room and me ogling over the beauty of everything. I never felt tired…noticed how quickly the hours were flying until both of us saw the time flashing on his Mac computer he had in the studio.

"I told you I was a bad host." He said with much chagrin, "I've kept you up past midnight…I don't know where my manners are."

I just laughed out loud, trying to joke back, wanting to make him laugh just like he was making me… "I stay up past midnight lots of times…Christmas Eve…New Years eve…ummm…St. Patricks day…"

His laughter filled the room again and I laughed with him. It made my heart jump a little bit, and I could feel the pull towards him, but I tried to ignore that…tried to focus just on the happy feelings, not the emotional ones.

"St. Patrick's Day…I bet that's a wild one for you..." He teased, and then he got just a little bit more serious, "but I do feel badly that I've kept you up so late. Please, _please _feel free to stay here, I understand if you're not comfortable with that…I can call for a car for you, or just drive you to a hotel myself…"

I didn't want to leave. I felt safe here…and happy. I was really enjoying seeing him this way…in his own house.

"You said I could use _any_ room in this house right…if I decide to stay?" He knew I was teasing right away…and what decision I already made. I let it show in my voice and my smile.

"Any room Miss Bella…You say it, and it's yours…" he grinned back at me.

I contemplated picking Edward's room…to be funny…but quickly decided that it might not come out as funny…send the wrong message to him. Edward's room was located on the third level and it took up nearly the entire floor. There were no other bedrooms up there.

So I picked the pretty burgundy one.

Still…it was surreal to wake up to, and I rubbed my eyes more than once to make sure it was real.

My phone said it was almost eleven am and I wondered if I should shower and change or wander out in my pajamas to see what Edward was up to. Vanity won out and I'm sure I took the fastest shower known to man, not even getting to play with all the shower heads and spray jets while I showered.

I remembered the mention of horses from the night before so I threw on my most comfortable jeans and one of the long sleeve plaid shirts that Alice picked out for me from our shopping trip with Miss Lauren.

Hoping I looked appropriate, I made my way to the spiral staircase, marveling at it all over again as my hand slid along the wooden bannister. At the bottom I could tell right away that the living room was empty, but the sounds of things rattling and sliding made me spin around and head in the opposite direction towards the kitchen.

Edward's kitchen was truly grand, and really well hidden. At first glance it didn't look like the average kitchen at all. You didn't see a refrigerator or a dishwasher…the only thing really giving it away was the huge, and I mean huge, stove that took up over one half of the entire far wall. You could see the double sink too, it was a creamy white color and made of ceramic or some type of stone, but it didn't stand out as much as the stove did.

All the other appliances blended in, covered with the same woodwork that the cabinets were made of, so it looked really majestic…shining, gleaming redwood everywhere. A kitchen fit for a king.

Edward was in there…looking perfectly content, standing at the center island, pouring two large glasses of orange juice. He looked up when he noticed me walking in.

"Good Morning Miss Bella…did you sleep well? Are you hungry? I hope you are because I made you breakfast."

That sweet southern voice almost made me dizzy…made me want to just skip right over to him like a little girl.

"You made breakfast? For me?" My brain was scolding me…telling me to stop being so rude…to wish him a good morning and thank him for letting me sleep there, but I was too stunned when he moved away from the island and all I saw was something that looked like a feast back there…several plates with pancakes stacked up on them like small towers.

He was nodding at me, still all smiles, "Yes for you. You hungry?"

Then he pointed at the stools that were on the other end of the island, urging me to sit down. He placed a couple of plates of pancakes in front me, settling across from me on the other stool. I didn't have the heart to tell him I really only ate toast or a bowl of cereal for breakfast.

"Did you make this?" Again my dumb brain and its rudeness emerged…maybe it was from having less than eight hours of sleep or something…

"Sure did Ma'am..." I think he was trying not to chuckle. I must have sounded ridiculous.

"You cook?" I really was dumb, wasn't I?

"I cook…I fish…I hunt…_and_ I sing…" this time he really chuckled, winking at me too.

That made me blush.

"I'm sorry…I guess I just…I don't know…" My words were all jumbled up, I wanted to apologize for being rude, and thank him for being so kind…for being so nice…for being _him_…

"Eat up, Miss Bella. Horseback riding is hard work and it builds an appetite. I don't want you to lose your strength." He handed me a fork and I stared at it warily, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

"Thank you Edward…it looks delicious." I glanced down at my plate, mentally trying to decide how I was going to eat all of those pancakes.

"They're blueberry. The pancakes. My favorite." Edward grinned at me, seemingly pleased with himself.

He ate his food with much gusto, talking a little bit about how he knew how to cook other dishes as well…that his Mama taught him when he was a teenager, made sure he would always know how to take care of himself. I knew instantly that his mother had to be a remarkable person…because her son turned out remarkable as well.

To my surprise the pancakes were just heavenly, rich in flavor and practically melting in my mouth as I ate.

"These are amazing." I said between bites. I already eaten three pancakes and was working on my fourth.

Edward somehow managed to devour his stack in minutes so he was watching me with this blissful look on his face, and I forced myself to believe that it must be the food that was making him look this way.

"Thanks. I don't think I've ever made these for anyone before except my Mama." He crumpled his napkin, tossing it casually on top of his empty plate.

I swallowed down the last bite, once again trying to keep my heart in place at his words. Was he purposely trying to make this difficult for me?

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I truly had to be living in a fantasy…my fantasy…because I had the woman of my dreams sleeping in my house at night, and walking into my kitchen in the morning. She looked like an angel sitting across from me, her hair still a little bit wet from her shower. I had keep fighting with myself not to reach out and touch her…pull her into my arms.

And the girl could eat. I was proud as a peacock when I saw her enjoying her food so much, food that I made, just for her. It was everything I dreamed about…happening right here…for real.

I was trying real hard to be a gentleman. Keep the teasing minimal…tried not to flirt with her. It wasn't easy I tell you. I slipped up every now and then, winking at her, showing off a little bit. And she would blush…those cheeks turning that sweet pinkish color…all it did was fuel me…make me want to do it more.

I promised myself I wouldn't touch her…wouldn't cross the line with her. I figured if anything was meant to be…meant to happen…it would all on it's own. I didn't need to rush it, or force it. So I told myself to just relax…enjoy her presence, her smile, her existence…cause I never knew when it might all just disappear.

I took her out over to the left far end of my house, over to the land where I kept my horses. They were my pride and joy, all three of them.

"This here is Beauty. She's mine." I stroked Beauty's mane as I showed her to Bella. Bella's eyes were the widest I'd ever seen as she stood there in front of the stalls.

"So magnificent." She breathed, once again full of awe, "I can see why you call her that."

"She was my first horse. I'm biased when it comes to her." I gave Bella a half grin and moved to next stall. "These two are Snowflake and Tank. They're brother and sister. I got 'em both at the same time."

"They are so cute." Bella clapped, stepping closer so she could see Tank, he was hanging further in the back, his black coat completely opposite of the white his sister had.

"Tank is shy…but Snowflake is a real spitfire, you'll like her, I know." I reached out and gave Snowflake a few strokes. The horse gave a half snort at my touch, her usual greeting.

"Oh." Bella looked at me worriedly, "Does she bite?"

I chuckled, "No Ma'am…no biting allowed here. That's her hello. Say hello to Snowflake, she's sweet as a peach…even though she acts like she's not."

Bella glanced back at the white horse, stretching her arm out slowly, letting her fingertips touch right near Snowflake's forehead. "Hello pretty horsey…hello Snowflake."

Little did she know that Snowflake absolutely loved getting stroked along her forehead, so when the horse gave out this happy nicker sound and bobbed her head trying to get closer to Bella's hand, Bella sucked in her breath and looked at me in pure delight at the horse's reaction.

"She likes you." I offered, "She's saying hello back."

"I think she is." Bella's smile wouldn't leave her face. And she kept right on smiling when I took her out to the track and showed her how to direct Snowflake around using her rein.

I found out Bella was a serious learner. She listened intently when I talked to her about the right way to mount and how to tell a horse to walk and stop. When Bella was brave enough to actually ride on Snowflake, I pointed out the stirrup and reminded her to use her left foot, never letting go of Snowflake's rein, and I walked with her until I felt sure she could do it on her own.

We spent all afternoon out there, and by the time the sun was beginning to set Bella and Snowflake had become fast friends.

I'd never seen Snowflake so happy. That darn horse took to Bella like water, she trotted all around the track tossing her white mane around like some kind of fashion model, nickering and bobbing her head whenever Bella stroked her. I was almost jealous.

I don't think Bella wanted to leave Snowflake when I suggested we go back inside and wash up for dinner. I don't think Snowflake wanted Bella to leave either, because that horse nudged me harder than she ever had when I tried to take her back to her stall.

That whole day left me with a sense of fulfillment I never experienced before, felt better than anything I'd done in my whole life. Better than receiving any award or selling out any concert. And it scared me too…cause every time I looked at her…every time I saw Bella smile or laugh, all I could think about was she was married…she was tied to someone else, and there was nothing I could do about it, no way to change it. It was a terrifying thought, and made it that much harder for me keep my hands off her; cause all I wanted to do…was hang onto her tight.

"This is the second best thing I know how to make." I bragged, placing the dish of grilled, smoking, baby back ribs on the table.

"Oh wow," Bella breathed in, half closing her eyes, "They smell delicious."

And they probably were, except I didn't taste a thing. I ate everything on my plate but spent the whole time getting lost in Bella's stories, got to meet her as a child, picture how her life went, cause she told me about the time she lost her first tooth and cried when she found the tooth fairy would take it away…the carnival her parents always took her to where she won a giant stuffed monkey...when she got lost in the snow during one winter and her dad had the entire town out looking for her…her little league baseball team, and their championship win. I was mesmerized…imaging her in pigtails and tutu dresses.

Her stories got shorter when she talked about her teenage years, and when she finally reached the part where she met her husband, she skirted around a lot of the details, trying to reach the end quickly, but all that did was make me more curious.

"High school sweethearts?" I forced myself to keep a neutral voice. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable because I needed to know about him. Wanted to know if he really made her happy.

"Yeah…sort of…" She'd eaten everything on her plate too, but still fiddled with her napkin, not looking at me.

"Kinda like a fairytale romance?" I kept pushing her along…wondering what he did that captured her heart…wondered if he was worthy.

"No…nothing like that. More like childhood friends. I've known him since I was five years old." She gave me a brief glance and a half smile, her eyes were guarded, I could tell.

"Big wedding?" I kept my words short thinking the less I said, the less the emotion would show in them.

"Small. Tiny, actually. Maybe forty…fifty people."

A quick vision of Bella in white wedding gown flashed across my mind. It made my heart skip a beat, and I waited a few seconds before talking again.

"No kids?" That thought had crossed my mind more than once. From the day I met Bella I could already picture sweet little baby faces of the children I would move heaven and earth for, if I could have them with her.

"No…we talked about that…said we should wait. Until I finished school…until he had a better job…more money…uhhh…" her voice trailed off and she took a sip of her water nervously, "I don't think we will…" she finally looked me in the eyes when she said that, and I knew my fucking brain was reading way to much into that look.

"What do you guys do for fun?" What I really wanted to ask was _Do you have more fun with him, than you do with me?_

"I guess the usual stuff…when we were dating we'd hang out at the mall with our friends…or at the pool. After we got married, we stopped that… just stayed home…watched t.v." she chuckled, but it was forced.

I stayed quiet then…it was starting to burn…in the pit of my stomach, I was picturing them…and it hurt.

She was staring down at her plate, her hair falling over one shoulder, tickling near her cheek when she tilted her head and looked back up at me, this serious look on her face…almost sad.

"You know…sometimes I think he wants to do more…with his life. Wants to see what else is out there in this great big world…but he can't…cause he has me…and all the bills…and the house. He's tied to it I guess…"

And that was enough. I couldn't stand to hear anymore. Because if she was trying to say that she wasn't enough for him…that he didn't treasure her the way he should…I was gonna snap.

I diverted the conversation after that…offered to take her out to get ice cream. She accepted, and even though I shouldn't have, I took her in my truck. My Ford F 450 that I never let anyone step foot in…not Jasper…not Emmett…not Alice, but I let _her_…I couldn't wait to see her slide across that leather bench and right up next to me.

We rode along the quiet streets, passing the trees and houses until we were right in the middle of downtown. The old fashioned ice cream parlor was the best place here to get one of those really big cones piled high with more ice cream than you could eat in a sitting.

Bella was bouncing like little girl when she saw all the different flavors, the huge sugar cones they used. She kept giggling when almost everyone in the parlor greeted me by name.

"Hey Edward!"

"Hi Edward!"

They waved and smiled, and I smiled back, but they left me alone…they always did. They'd gotten used to seeing me around doing normal things like buy ice cream. It amused her though…made me chuckle too.

So we got our cones and scooted on back to the truck. I drove out to this great big field where I knew the wildflowers grew. There were yellow ones out there right now, and they almost sparkled under the moonlight.

It was the most fun I had in a long…long time…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Alice showed up at Edward's house early the next morning. There was no breakfast this time…no time for anything. Alice was trying to rush me…get me out the door quick. We had a million things to do so we could be ready for the nomination party that night.

Edward waved us bye at the front door, telling Alice not to overdo it, and he would see us later on.

I wanted to stay longer…with him in his house. It was like our own little escape, our own little world there, and I didn't want anyone to penetrate it.

"So…" Alice gave me a curious smile the second the driver pulled away from the house, "How are you doing? Everything going okay?"

"Yeah…" I felt like a giggling teenager, sharing secrets, "I'm actually pretty great."

"So…is everything out in the open? Is it all out?" Alice leaned closer to me, a great big smile spreading across her face.

"Ummm…I think so…" I looked at her, wrinkling my nose, "Are you talking about Tanya?"

"Uh huh…did he tell you?" She nodded, half smirking at the mention of Tanya's name.

"That she lives with some guy, and has a baby by him…" I raised my eyebrows, questioning if that's what she was talking about.

"Uh huh…and did he tell you the other stuff?" She smiled even bigger this time, like she knew this wonderful, juicy secret.

"He told me other stuff…but that was the most shocking." I tilted my head to side, wondering what she was talking about.

"So did ya talk about uhhh…feelings and stuff?" Her voice was getting higher now, and she was practically bouncing in her seat.

"Well yeah…he said he was hurt and all…" I shrugged, wondering why she was so animated about this.

She gave out this little humph at my words and narrowed her eyes, "You guys didn't…didn't share _other_ _stuff_…_other feelings_?"

Now I was getting frustrated, "What are you talking about Alice? What other stuff? He apologized for the way he treated me in Vegas…is that what you mean?"

She slumped back in her seat clearly disappointed at my words, waving her hand at me, "Never mind…"

"What? What are trying to say?" I pressed.

"It's nothing…I thought he might have told you something else…nothing bad…" She bounced back up quickly pretending to smooth some imaginary wrinkle on her perfectly pressed pants.

I did hear her mutter under her breath; _What is he freaking waiting for_…before she changed the subject and started telling me more about the nomination party…

"Everyone should be really kicked back here…you don't have to be perfect or super polite or anything like that. We all sit around and joke…make silly toasts…dance…don't be scared okay?"

But I was nervous…scared. I was going to walk into a room full of country stars…lots of country stars…I actually felt sick to my stomach, but Alice was all giggly and bright, pushing the doors open with a great big smile on her face.

It was like walking into a dance club or something…completely carefree and noisy, and looking around me at what everyone was wearing…I was so glad I didn't put up too much fuss when Alice showed me the dress she wanted me to wear.

"Alice…that dress doesn't look appropriate." I narrowed my eyes at her, placing my hands on my hips.

Alice was trying to pour me into this tiny sparkling silver dress…a dress that barely made it over my thighs and dipped so low in the back, I was sure you would be able to see my bare ass easily.

"Stop hyperventilating…I have something that goes on underneath…" Alice just rolled her eyes at me, pushing back some random clothing that was hanging on this rolling rack in our dressing room. She lifted out something that looked like lacy underwear to me.

"What's that? Is that supposed to be a slip?" I was already shaking my head at her…vetoing her choice.

"Yes…it's a slip…it might not look like much but I promise you that it will keep your girls held up high and your ass rocking." She giggled at me, thrusting it out to me. "Try it on…come on…this is the only thing for you to wear…you have no choice."

I just scowled at Alice knowing I wouldn't stand a chance against her and grabbed both garments, hiding myself away behind the curtain to change.

I have to admit…

Alice knew her stuff.

The dress was amazing. Hell…the slip was amazing all by itself. It was a shimmery white color made of total lace and fit super snug. It molded to my body perfectly and gave this illusion of beautiful curves everywhere. When I slid the silver dress over it, I could already tell the combination was going to be stunning. The silver dress hung more loose along my body but the curves were still there, and even though the dress was cut out so low down my back, it tightened up over my bottom. It also attached easily to the lacy slip with these tiny little clasps that were well hidden. I didn't feel naked; I wouldn't have to worry about an x rated peep show either.

"Smoking hot." Alice ginned at me, giving me a thumbs up when I emerged from behind the curtain. "This is gonna be fun to watch."

"What is?" I was trying to balance against the wall while stepping into my heels, "Me falling on my face in these shoes?" I joked.

Alice just laughed at me and shook her head, "No…his face…his reaction…oh this is gonna be fun alright."

I'm sure she was talking about Edward and I just wrinkled my nose at her, tried not to let her words excite me.

So here I stood seeing all these women…some of them stars, all wearing these gorgeous, glitzy, blingy, dresses…walking around holding glasses of champagne or other drinks in their hands. I looked around me gladder than anything that I was wearing this dress, it seemed like the more you sparkled, the more you got noticed.

And I got noticed.

Edward's serious expression filled my view not ten seconds after Alice and I walked in. He was looking down at me with nothing less than shock on his face. I even shot Alice a worried glance at his reaction, but all she did was burst out laughing, even clapping a little bit…half skipping away to look for Jasper…leaving me to my own defenses for the night.

"Miss Bella?"

Now I really was worried. Maybe Edward didn't even recognize me.

"It's me Edward." I tried to give him my friendliest smile, picking up my hand a little bit.

"_Holy_…" and that's all he said before stepping even closer to me, his arm shot out across my shoulders…but before he could touch me he jerked his hand away awkwardly, this choking noise coming from his throat, his hand flailing wildly behind me…he'd seen the back of my dress now…

It was almost comical. I wanted to laugh, but I was finally looking at him too, and he looked sharp…gorgeous, handsome, rugged and tough. He was wearing what looked like a tuxedo jacket with some satin stitching along the seams. His black jeans gave him this strong, virile look. I'd never seen him look this good, so while he was having some kind of panic attack over my dress…I was checking him out…

Not one second of that night went by where he left my side…he was practically breathing down my neck the entire time, his arm constantly bumping mine cause he was so close. He never held my hand or put his arm around me. I thought he was…I was so sure he would…but he didn't.

I know inside I was disappointed about that…a little bit let down. I guess the dress didn't do its job. At least not with Edward…

I think it did manage to capture some other men's interest because several different guys I didn't know approached Edward…made small talk with him and then immediately turned to me, giving me their full attention, asking me about the videos and who my agent was…if I was interested in doing other music videos besides Edwards.

I never really answered them, got the chance to answer them because Edward would always cut in then…going as far and putting his body between me and the guy…shielding me from their view and bluntly informing them that I was not available to do other videos that I exclusively his. Maybe I should've felt insulted but I was actually super proud…that Edward was going around calling me his. If only it could be that way in our personal life too.

There was one guy who seemed particularly stubborn…tried to stare Edward down when Edward stepped in between us. I think he said his name was Brantley but with all the noise around me, I wasn't sure. Edward had to tell him twice to back off but this Brantley guy wouldn't back down. I thought for a second they were actually going to come to blows but Edward was above that. It was the only time I felt Edward's hand on my arm, and he led me away, walking us over to Jasper and Emmett. Brantley didn't follow us, and I was really glad. I chalked it up to maybe he already had too much to drink, from the looks of the way some of these people were acting, I knew quiet a few of them were well into a drunken stupor.

I was glad that no one else approached us after that. Edward seemed to calm down once it was back to just being him and me. I tried to lighten the mood…make him smile again.

"Do you guys ask for each others autographs?" I teased, "Cause I think that little guy over there is dying to ask you for yours."

Edward looked up at me in surprise and then smiled, "Where? What guy?"

"Him over there…standing behind the lady in the red dress." I tilted my head to the side…a bit in the direction of the boy, not wanting to point.

"The one with the light colored hair…wearing the green tie?" Edward craned his neck to peek over his shoulder.

"Yeah him… he keeps looking over at you all excited or something." I half giggled, happy to see the light back in Edward's eyes.

"I know who that is…that's Hunter Hayes…he's pretty new to the scene but from everything I hear, he's quiet talented. Great musician and writer…knows how to play several instruments."

Being the wonderful man he was, Edward turned himself around, actively seeking out the young man, making eye contact with him and waving him over.

I could tell right away that this boy was in shock and completely excited about meeting Edward. They chatted for a few minutes and I overheard Edward invite the boy over to his studio one day…they could play together…for fun.

It practically made my heart melt; he was just so gracious…to everyone. Well…except the ones who tried to talk to me…

A few hours later, when the party was winding down and some of the stars already left, I excused myself to the ladies room, my bladder been complaining for some time now and I couldn't hold it any longer. Edward walked with me to the ladies room but before we reached the corner where the hall began another good guitar playing friend of his, Keith Urban, sidetracked him. They struck up a lively conversation while I smiled and nodded and tried not to dance in place until I finally touched Edward's arm gently, telling him I would be right back.

He looked at me and smiled, giving me a nod that he would be right there in a moment.

A few other ladies were in there but I locked myself away quickly without even looking at them.

I think I took maybe six…seven minutes max in there. Did my business…straightened out my dress…washed my hands. The bathroom was empty by the time I came out of the stall so I took my time.

I pushed open the door to leave, not really expecting to see Edward standing there, surely he would still be talking to his friends, so when I nearly collided into a male figure standing there, it took me by surprise.

"Oh! I'm sorry. Excuse me." I stepped back in alarm, almost falling into the door in my haste to get out of the way.

"It's alright darlin'…no harm done…" his voice was slurred and slow but that didn't bother me so much…no…what bothered me was the look in his eyes and the smirk on his lips as he watched me.

He took a heavy step towards me and I saw the beer bottle he was holding in his hand. He smirked again when he saw me back up further against the door.

"Don't be afraid darlin'…don't ya know who I am?"

I just gave him a half nod; my instincts were telling me not to trust him. "I think your name is Brantley…"

"That's right darlin'" His accent was really thick and I wasn't sure if it was due to the alcohol or not.

He moved closer to me again, I could already smell his breath as he talked. My hand was pressed up behind me, ready to escape back into the ladies room if I had to.

"I saw you in my buddy Edward's video…and _damn girl_…you're super hot. Ya sure ya not interested in coming on over with me…my videos are way hotter…and I can promise ya a hell of a lotta side benefits…" Now he really was in my face…this close…and my stomach twisted in knots, half in fear, half in disgust.

I shook my head at him, pushing the door open behind me, taking a step back. I'd be safe in here…til Edward came.

I didn't move fast enough I guess. He reached out faster than I could get out of his way and latched onto my wrist with his free hand. He didn't pull me to him like I thought he was going to, no…he was clever…he pushed on my arm, forcing the both of us back into the bathroom…shoving me up against the wall right next to the paper towel holder.

My mouth opened to scream but nothing came out except this breathless little yelp. I could feel his hands pinning me to the wall, he dropped his beer bottle, but I didn't hear it hit the floor, I only felt these little shards of glass pellet my feet as they bounced and shattered into a million pieces.

"Now come on darlin'…don't be like that…I'm a real good guy…promise…" his guffawing laugh sure didn't make him sound like he was good guy…at all.

"Please…" I tried to bring up my hands…to fend him off, but he held my arms too tight, I couldn't move them… "Let me go…"

He just laughed some more and pressed his body right up to me, bringing his face down, shoving one of his boots between my heels trying to force my legs apart with his knee.

I really started to panic now. He was way stronger than me and no matter which way I tried to turn my head, he was just as quick to follow with his own.

Terror and nausea hit me at the same time. I could taste the sickly sweetness of the alcohol as he forced his tongue inside my mouth. He let one of my wrists free but that didn't mean I could fight him off…I tried to…hitting and pushing with all the force I had, but it didn't even make him flinch.

My brain was screaming inside…horrible ringing in my ears, and it only escalated when I felt his free hand suddenly jerk and slide from my waist were it came to a stop right under my breast.

My arm flailed around his shoulder near his neck…I was trying to make it to his face, maybe scratch him…anything…

The next few seconds felt like hours…my entire body was struggling in terror…I couldn't even breathe.

His hand moved up roughly and his fingers closed around my breast like a vise. I was fighting so hard my knees started to buckle and the wrist he was still gripping started to burn.

He wouldn't let me move…kept me pinned there for what seemed like an eternity. I kept fighting him…trying to use my entire body to push him away, but it didn't make one single difference.

I could feel my body start to shut down…it couldn't defend itself, so it was just going to try and block it out…go numb. I think he felt that…I think he'd done this before, so he knew exactly what would happen, cause I felt him grin against my lips, and I was sure I was going to throw up.

I still don't remember much about the next couple of hours. All I know is one second I was pressed tight to the wall, and the next I was sprawled out on the floor of the bathroom. I could hear the yelling…and the punches…and I saw all the blood…

"Get off of her! Get the fuck off of her!" Edward had burst through the door with a crazed look in his eye. I remember feeling Brantley literally being yanked away from me with such force it caused me spill forward and tumble to the floor.

It was still terrifying seeing these men attack each other like some kind of beasts. Edward threw Brantley up against the mirrors and they cracked instantly like something out of a horror film.

A couple of the stall doors fell crookedly on their hinges from the force of the bodies as they collided into them.

It didn't stop until all the noise and commotion caused people to run over.

Everything was blurry after that. I saw lots of strong arms pulling the two men apart. Alice's face came into my line of sight, she was on the floor with me, gasping and nearly crying, asking me over and over if I was okay. There was some more yelling, the bathroom was filled with people…complete chaos.

And then I saw him…he was on his knees, in front of me…right next to me. The second I looked into those devastated green eyes I lost it…sobbing uncontrollably.

"Bella! His voice held such an intense fear, "Are you okay baby? Did he hurt you? Please? Bella?"

His arms were around me, I could feel them shaking as he held me. I just sobbed against him, pressing my face into his chest, trying to erase the memory of those sickly hands all over me.

Alice was shouting…telling everyone to get out…telling Jasper to go get our car…threatening that whoever the hell took Brantley better put him in hiding because she was sending Jasper and Emmett to kick his ass…

Edward's arms were warm. My body finally began feeling again. He was holding me against his chest, moving back and forth in a cradling fashion, his arms wrapped around me as much as they could, not squeezing me to tight to hurt or cause fear, but just right to feel safe.

My tears finally stopped, and my ears began to focus on Edward's breathing…it was all ragged and spotty, he just kept rocking me back and forth, these little whimpering sounds coming from his throat.

"Edward, the cars here." I could hear Alice, nervous and quiet in the background, a little bit of a scuffling sound, then silence again.

Edward shifted, moving his legs, stroking my back as he did that. "Bella? You okay baby? You want to go home?" His voice was raw and soft; he took these little gasps when I finally lifted my face to him. "He hurt you…" his voice broke, he reached out and touched the corner of my mouth with his fingertips, his eyes held so much hurt but were so full of anger at the same time.

I didn't know my lip was cut…I hadn't felt it happen, but when Edward touched me, I felt the burn…in fact I was beginning to feel the burning soreness everywhere in my body. I nodded my head at Edward, letting him know that I wanted to go home…I wanted to get out as fast as I could.

He helped me up so carefully, supporting my body with his, putting both arms around me to keep me steady. My heels were gone…I didn't know where they went, nor did I care…I just took a few wobbly steps, my hands gripping Edward's arms for support.

Alice was at the bathroom door holding it open for us; she noticed my bruised face and my bare feet, her eyes brimming with pain. "Edward…she shouldn't walk…I don't think she…"

Edward just looked at Alice then at me, leaning down and scooping me up in one swift motion. He held me to him, whispering "It's okay baby," before moving down the hallway towards the back exits where the car was waiting.

At the house he placed me gently down on the sofa, covering me with this thick, fluffy blanket. He made me take some aspirin for the pain, hovering over me for a few minutes until he sat down next to me, finding my hand underneath the blanket and holding onto it.

I was still a bit out of it…still in shock. I just leaned my head back into the sofa and shut my eyes. The warmth of Edward's hand soothed me like a lullaby and I'm sure it was only minutes before I fell asleep.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I would have killed him.

That's how mad I was, how much rage was flowing through me. The bastard was lucky Keith and a few other guys came into that bathroom and pulled me off of him when they did, cause I wouldn't have stopped until he was dead.

I saw where he had his hands…I knew what he was about to do. Fury exploded everywhere inside of me, and it took four guys to pull me off of him.

The rage didn't stop until I saw Bella. She was sprawled out on the cold floor, her arm covering up half her face as if she was shielding herself from her attacker still. The sight sent chills down my spine and I was by her side in an instant, the anger gone, replaced by intense heartbreak and distress. I just pulled her into my arms, cradling her, wishing I could erase whatever she just went through…cursing myself for leaving her alone…I should have never left her…

I could tell she was emotionally drained by the time I took her home. I couldn't even get her up the stairs to her room and I was afraid to keep carrying her…afraid that it might be hurting her somehow.

So I placed her down on the sofa, trying to make her as comfortable as possible, whispering to her that she was okay now…she was going to be okay.

She didn't hear me…she was still in shock. Her head looped back within minutes and she fell into a restless sleep.

I didn't move from her side. Just held onto her hand and prayed to God that she would be okay…that if He just let her be okay, I would send her home…never make her come back…go through anything like that again.

I sat like that for five hours…wide awake…tormenting thoughts about where I saw those hands fondling her…the terror in her eyes…her arm swinging wildly against him but fruitless in stopping him. I could hear her gasping for breath…the scream getting caught in her throat. It haunted me…and I knew I would never forget that look in her eyes, ever.

The sun was already halfway up in the sky when Bella stirred. She let out this soft moan and her head shook slowly from side to side. Her eyes finally opened and she blinked a couple of times, looking disjointedly around her.

Then it hit…the memories I guess, cause she let out this terrified gasp and shot straight up in her seat, her eyes wild with fear.

"It's okay baby…you're okay. You're safe now…you're home." I kept my voice low and soft, trying to soothe her…keep from scaring her. She just looked at me with this crazed look, her breathing rapid, and I kept on whispering to her, stroking her hand, making sure she kept hearing my voice.

Her eyes finally focused…they searched my face quickly and her mouth opened, "Edward?" her voice was thick and raw and full of fear.

"Shhh…I'm here baby…it's okay…" I whispered to her, moving my head closer, keeping my eyes locked to hers.

She seemed to calm down once she realized where she was…that she was no longer back at that awful place.

I didn't want to leave her, so I just grabbed one of the small bottles of water I always kept stocked in what was supposed to be a liquor cabinet, from the corner of the room and moved back to her side.

She drank a few sips of water, the color finally returning to her face. It took her a few more minutes of taking deep breaths before I finally saw her looking more like herself. She leaned forward, looking at me, reaching out with her hand…

"Thank you…" she said in a shaky voice, "For finding me…for helping me…I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't found me…"

Well I _did know_ what would've happened, and that was something that was going to haunt me for the rest of my life.

"I'm just glad you're okay." I told her, shaking my head.

"I was trying to get away…but I couldn't…he was holding on so tight…I…"

"No baby…stop…please…" I didn't want her to relive it…_I _didn't want to relive it…the guilt would be too much for me to handle.

Instead I just made her sit back…try to rest some more. We could talk later. And she did…she was still so tired. She reached for me this time, grabbing onto my hand and holding on tight...when she fell asleep, my eyes felt so heavy that so did I…just for a couple of hours…right there on the sofa next to her, holding her hand.

When I opened my eyes again the hazy light filtering through the windows told me it was almost nighttime. Bella was still sleeping soundly, her breathing steady. I just watched her for a while…she was beautiful when she slept, her dark eyelashes standing out against the pink of her skin. I could hardly breath…just so full of attachment towards this woman…so full of the want to take care of her.

I figured she would be hungry when she woke, so I used this time to warm her up some soup. Nothing fancy or too heavy, and by the time I'd placed it on the tray along with a cup of hot tea and a napkin, she was stirring again.

She smiled at me gratefully, when I offered it to her, picking up her spoon, and pushing her blanket back.

She ate in silence and I didn't mind…just seeing her doing something as normal as eating was filling me with relief. She would be okay. When she was done, she spent several minutes looking down…deep in thought…before raising her head back to me again. There was something different in her eyes now…I wasn't sure it if was fear, or pain…strangely, it looked more like…a burning affection.

"Would you like some more?" I extended my hand to her and rose halfway in my seat, getting ready to head back to the kitchen if she asked for more.

"No, no thank you. It was good…I'm okay." Her voice sounded strong…and her eyes were still looking at me that same way.

"Okay…I'm glad…" I reached for her tray instead, taking it off her lap and placing it over on the coffee table. That look was affecting me, but I was fighting it…telling myself this wasn't the time or place.

"What I'd really like to do is change…out of this…" she looked down into her lap and then up at me.

"Of course…of course. Do you want help? Up the stairs I mean…" I fumbled over my words a bit…I was just full of anxiety at the moment, trying to do everything just right…trying to be perfect.

"Yes please…" she rose on shaky legs and I supported her the best way I could, taking each step slowly, letting her lean on me if she needed to.

She seemed much stronger now…was able to take the steps easier than I thought. She still let me slide my arm around her, and held onto me the entire way.

We reached her door and I pushed it open for her, switching on the dimming light, flooding the room with a just a soft enough glow.

I stayed at the door and watched her take a few more steps on her own, she managed to do that with no problems, reaching the end of her bed where her bag lay.

"If you need anything…anything at all…please call me…I'll be right outside your door." I reached for the doorknob, intending to close the door…give her privacy to change when her voice suddenly broke across the room, steadfast and firm.

"Edward…" she turned her head to the side to look back at me.

"Yes Ma'am?" I paused in mid-motion, my hand still resting on the doorknob.

"Can you…_stay_?" her voice didn't waver…wasn't shaking. No…I'm pretty sure that was just me…

"Pardon?" I know I heard her…I just couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Stay…with me…_please_?" the pitch in her voice rose when she said the word please…it was that sudden and intimate change to her voice that sent a piercing jolt right through me.

My hand lost its strength on the doorknob, slipping quietly to my side. I know I had a confused look on my face…hesitated in saying anything…because the tone she was using…it was playing with my mind…wreaking havoc on my heart.

She turned all the way around to face me…still looking devastatingly gorgeous in that shimmery dress…and the look on her face…it tore at my emotions in the worst way

"_Please_…" she pleaded again… "I don't want to be alone…not tonight…"

So with a thundering heart I somehow found the ability to walk towards her…to the woman I knew I was already in love with…

I stopped when I reached her…didn't do anything…waited for her tell me what to do next…cause I honestly couldn't think straight at the moment…

She looked up at me with those wide brown eyes…they were whispering to me…telling me I was right…she wanted this…"Thank you." She whispered, reaching out and placing her hand on my arm. That simple touch was enough to make my mind spin.

Her hand slid slowly down my arm until it met mine, and her soft fingers closed around my hand, bringing it up towards her, placing my hand gently at her waist. I just kept watching her…not taking my eyes off hers…let her lead…half wondering if this was real.

She did the same thing quietly with my other hand, her eyes never leaving their hold over mine…moving her hands off mine and carefully placing them on the top of my shirt, sliding them up my chest until they rested at my collar.

I know I was holding my breath…I know because I was starting to feel dizzy…dizzy with hunger…for more.

Her fingers played with the first button on my shirt, touching it gently, sliding over it a couple of times before she finally pulled it open. She grasped both ends of the collar of my shirt with each hand and drew me to her…tilting her chin up so that her face would meet mine.

That kiss exploded between us. The second my lips met hers everything in my body screamed out for more. I was sinking into her kiss, fighting so hard to stay gentle…my hands rested light at her waist, but they really wanted to pull her close to my body, to run up her bare back…feel her skin. But I didn't…I stayed steady…focused on how silky smooth her mouth felt…careful not hurt her near her torn lip…feeling the warmth of her tongue mingling with mine.

Her kiss stayed that way at first…delicate…light…but it was still full of passion…still teasing me in the worst way.

When she pulled back her eyes still held that same look in them, she wasn't wavering from it. She glanced once over to the bed and then back at me…and I knew what she was asking…what she was telling me.

I was positive of it when her hands moved up near her shoulders and she slowly slipped the straps of her dress down…unclasping these invisible clips like magic, and pushing her dress down until all that was left…was a glimmering pile of fabric at our feet.

Whatever she was wearing underneath that dress looked just as amazing on her. A shimmery, lacy little thing that hugged her in all the right places, it made my fingers flex in anticipation…my heart skip a little bit…I wanted to feel her so bad.

She took one tiny step…just a small one…towards me, reaching out again and taking my hand…carefully…gently. She brought my hand up, right up near her heart…near her breast, and I know she saw it in my eyes…besides the desire…the question in them…was she sure she wanted this?

I didn't want to second guess…didn't want her to second guess either, but before I could even ask her, she took my hand and put it right there…right above near her heart…covering half her breast. I could feel her warm skin beneath the lace…the softness mingling with lace…the permissions she was giving me…the look in her eyes…

It all hit me at the same time and I stopped holding back. I just gathered her up in my arms, lowered my lips to hers, and gently leaned us both back until we were lying down on the bed.

I could feel her hands moving up my shoulders, her bare leg bending so it nestled close to mine; she kept holding me tightly to her, kissing me like no other woman done before.

My hands made quick work of pulling off my shirt and shaking off my jeans…I couldn't wait to feel her bare skin slide next to mine…feel her hands and fingers on me.

And they were. Moving across my chest…down towards my waist…the only sound I made was that half gasp when her hand dipped underneath my boxers and wrapped around me.

I was a man possessed…I let my hands roam…touching and feeling every delicate part of her body, moving over her…my lips sliding down her neck while my fingers set her body free of that lace, pulling off the only that was left between me and her. She gasped and moaned in pleasure as I continued to explore every inch of her body with my mouth…kissing and nipping along the way, using my hands to keep her next to me…letting her feel how hard she was making me.

She was supple, soft, and so willing…responding with such emotion to my mouth and hands, it just roared inside me like a fire…like a never ending thirst…I couldn't quench it.

I would never put her in harms way…put myself in harms way and she watched with silent eyes as I slid on the condom. When I finally rolled over, holding myself above her with my arms, leveling at her entrance, I paused…giving her one last chance to stop if she wanted to, and needing one last spoken or unspoken permission from her if I was to keep going.

Her eyes were dark with desire, her hair spilled out over the pillow. She shifted her body upwards, those pink lips parting as she did that. "Please Edward…" she whispered softly, and that was all the permission I needed.

I moved slowly…keeping my eyes locked on hers as I entered her a little at a time. She was hot and wet and felt so good…pulling me in…letting me connect with her in the most intimate way, and when I was finally fully inside of her, I lowered myself closer, capturing her lips in a kiss…finding her hands and entwining my fingers with hers as I thrust into her over and over again.

The breaths coming from her rose and fell with each stroke, and I could feel every nerve tingling inside my own body. I wanted to make this last…wanted to take forever if I could…just keeping this steady pace, trying to control my breathing…telling myself to try to remember everything I was feeling at this moment because she might never be mine again.

But I couldn't control it any longer when I saw it in her eyes. She was ready…on the edge…her hands were squeezing mine so hard, I knew…

And I wanted to meet her there. So I quickened my pace…gave into my feelings…she finally sucked in her breath and I could feel the tightening of her body around mine…it set me off and I spilled everything I had in that last thrust.

We stayed that way…breathing heavy…staring at each other for the longest time, communicating without talking…just feeling. She didn't move when I finally slid out of her, just placed her hand on my chest, looking up into my eyes. I wanted to stay connected to her…show her she was safe somehow…that this didn't have to end…so I grabbed the covers and yanked them over us, wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her to me so her body snuggled comfortably right next to mine.

She closed her eyes and smiled…this sweet, innocent, content smile…resting her cheek on my chest, her fingers spread out over my heart. I played with her hair, letting my fingers glide through it, pushing it away from her face.

I decided right then I wasn't going to let her go. I was going to do everything in my power to keep her with me. I wouldn't destroy her home life…force her to choose…no…that would be my punishment…the penance I would pay for making this choice…I would have to share her, no matter how much it hurt, no matter how much I would hate it…

And believe me…

I learned to hate it…really…really…soon…

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><p><strong>Okay...hope ya'll are still with me. <strong>

**I just want to tell you a couple more things. **

**One: I love Brantley Gilbert...I, in no way, want you think otherwise. I just needed a name and wanted it to feel real...so I'm apologizing if it made anyone mad. **

**Two: It's hard to talk about adultery. I know it's a subject that strikes a nerve for many. While cheating is ugly and cruel, I'm trying to approach it as delicately as I can. People are faced with these kinds of choices every single day and some of them make a choice that has the potential to hurt others...that's real life...I'm trying to be real. Personally I don't approve of adultery...as a writer it was quite the challenge to make it happen, and I did it the best way I could.**

**Last: We still have a ways to go...there's a lot more to come. Maybe no more 19,000 words chapters though. LOL This one drained me...alot.**

**If anyone wants to talk to me...discuss this, I'll be off and on Twitter throughout the weekend. Feel free to tweet me, pm me, or leave a (hopefully not a screaming, hateful, makes me cry) review. I respect you all and will do my very best to answer anything without giving away the story.**

**Thanks for hanging with me. Hope I see ya'll next chapter!**

**XOXO**

**MBella**


	15. Give It All We Got Tonight

**Hey Ya'll! Hope everyone is doing great! I missed you! **

**So did I give you enough time to recover from the last chapter? ;)**

**Yeah, I think I did...**

**Song of the day: _Give It All We Got Tonight_ by Mr. George Strait**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own all the Country goodness.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>But tonight I'm gonna give it one last try...<strong>

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I kept waiting for the remorse.

Or the shame.

Or even fear…pulsing, haunted memories of being hurt and attacked, but that didn't linger long, it seemed to have faded away…a distant memory whose existence was created only as a turning point.

The regret never came…

From the moment I woke, still nestled blissfully in the warmth of Edward's arms, right up until those final minutes before I stepped off the plane, the only thing I felt was peace. My heart and my mind were finally in sync…telling me that I was in the right place…with the right person…

I finally felt complete.

The sun was peeking through the wooden blinds of the room, sending tiny beams of light bouncing off the walls, filling the air with a hazy glow.

I knew it was probably close to lunchtime when I finally stirred, my eyes fluttered open briefly, still lost in the dreams of glorious slumber. As I slowly woke up, my brain buzzed to life, and all the memories of the last two nights flooded my thoughts.

That attack changed me. And while it was a terrible thing to have lived through, it made me see everything around me differently, that life wasn't always so black and white, and that there were no guarantees for tomorrow.

My mind just suddenly became so clear when I saw Edward holding that tray in front me last night. Trying so hard to take care of me, his eyes so full of worry and fear. Never in my life had a man looked at me the way he did…or did everything in his power to surround me with beauty and awe. My heart finally had enough. It needed him…wanted him…

The first thing my eyes focused on was a beautifully sculpted bare chest, rippling with pure muscle. My cheek was resting against it…I could feel his warm skin and hear the beating of his heart; it was rapid and strong. It sent little prickles of expectation shooting through me, and my body became very aware of how close…and how naked…we both were.

Careful not to disturb him, I lifted my chin slightly to look up into his face. He was already awake…those green eyes looking down at me so seriously, I wasn't sure what he was thinking, and I tried not to panic when the thought that maybe _he_ was filled with remorse rang through my head.

"Good mornin' Beautiful." His voice was bare…raw and husky, thick with his accent, and he moved some of my hair, tucking it away behind my ear. Those words just swam around my heart, making me forget my made up panic, and I smiled at him…a little bit embarrassed that he'd been watching me sleep.

"Good Morning." My voice was just as coarse…heavy with emotion…and I couldn't hide it even if I tried.

His arm shifted slightly, and he moved his hand away from my hair and let it travel slowly down my back, stopping near my waist. It sent goose bumps all along my arms and legs.

"You feeling okay? Sleep well?" His mouth was right near my forehead, I could feel his warm breath float across the top of my head, and after I nodded at him in reply, he leaned closer and pressed his lips to the skin above my eyes, engulfing me in his presence and warmth.

I let my hand spread out over his chest, closing my eyes and inviting his kiss. This just felt so good, I could feel his fingers pressing into my waist, that alone made me want to arch my body against him…encourage him to keep going.

He gave out a tiny murmur; it almost sounded like a sigh, and gripped my closer to him for a second before pulling away…moving his upper body so that we were level…face to face.

"I want you Beautiful…" his eyes searched mine carefully, and I wanted to stop listening…just reach out and pull him to me instead. If he wanted me…he could have me. But he kept talking, and I realized that he was telling me something very important…perhaps the most important words I would ever hear from him… "You are the most amazing woman I've ever met…and I'm really happy that you're in my life. I want to keep you here…with me, for as long as I can. I know you have to go back…I would never do anything to hurt you…make you choose…I'll respect the life you lead when you're not with me, but when you are, I'll do everything I can to make you happy…"

His fingers stroked gently along the skin at my waist as he spoke, the seriousness in his eyes never leaving. And in this moment I could tell, he meant what he said, he understood the risks…and he was willing to take them anyways…

I didn't have to think twice. It wasn't like those soap operas you see on tv where everyone pauses dramatically before those heartfelt speeches…where they have to stop and wonder if this was the right thing for them to do. I knew it before he even finished talking…I probably knew it from the moment I looked into his green eyes back at his very first concert.

"I'm here. When you want me…when you need me. I won't ever ask for anything more, or make _you_ choose. I would never let you risk your career…never…" And I was saying it plain as day. Something I never imagined in my entire life I would do…become someone's mistress…so candidly…giving myself away so easily, but I did…because any other choice would leave me alone…without him…and I couldn't bare to live like that.

He gave me a small smile…one that didn't quite reach his eyes, and brought his forehead down to mine, his eyelids fluttering close. He was struggling…I could tell.

I didn't want him to fight with my choice…it was mine, and I made it. Nothing was going to make me change my mind, I didn't even want him to think about it, so I just lifted my hand and wrapped my arm around the back of his head pulling his face to me, trying to make him get lost in my kiss.

His kisses were amazing. The way those lips brushed over mine, the sweetness in it mixed with that vigorous hunger…his tongue slipping in, tasting and teasing me. It was easy to give into the want…and I stopped thinking about everything else except this handsome cowboy in my arms.

Last night had gone by far too quickly…I didn't get the chance to explore this man like I did now. Didn't realize how turned on I got when I heard his grunts and groans. Realize how thick and perfect he felt in my hand, and that low grumble that would escape him every time I squeezed. The longer my mouth moved down his neck and across his chest, the faster the sweet country boy charm left him…leaving behind nothing but a raw, passionate man who moved over me so skillfully…stripping away any last defense that either of us might have.

He entered me…filling me more than I ever experienced, more than the one and only man I ever been with…more than Jake. His body molded to mine with such uniqueness as if he were made just for me. I could feel his muscles twitching in his arms and chest as he thrust…see the tiny beads of sweat form on his brow…the way his mouth opened with small gasps. He always watched me while he moved…his eyes full of desire and affection. That look alone probably had the ability to make me come. I would stare into those green eyes and get so lost in them…and that burning ache would begin to swell in the pit of my stomach and travel with such heat between my legs, making me arch my hips to try and meet his thrusts…to try and sate that thirst.

I didn't have to work at it…try to build up arousal. It came so naturally with him…just by touching him…kissing him…so easy. I never knew lovemaking could be like this…didn't know how I would ever be able to go back to living without it.

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I watched her…for the longest time. Watched the way the wavy streams of sunlight would bounce off her hair…the way she would smile in her sleep…or the tiny freckles she had dotted along her bare shoulder. I was also acutely aware of how hard she was making me, even when she was doing nothing more than sleeping.

And then there was the guilt. I tried to push it to the back of my mind, but still, it lingered. All kinds of thoughts battled for space in my brain…had I taken advantage of her in her fragile state? Risked everything for one night?

I knew that I would be able to live with myself…after doing this…but I couldn't bear it if she hated herself when she woke up…if she wished, even for one second, that this never happened.

Those sweet, beautiful eyes finally opened, and I watched her come to life, raising her head to look up at me. By instinct, I reached up and moved some hair off of her face, hoping we wouldn't lose today, what we found last night.

"Good Mornin' Beautiful…" I wanted to say more but I was literally overwhelmed by those deep brown eyes, my words caught in my throat, showing my emotions more than they should.

She answered me, and I strained my ears, trying to hear if there was fear or remorse in her tone. There wasn't any…just pure honey in her voice…sweet…rich…

It set my body on the edge, and my hands had a mind of their own, traveling down the curve of her shoulder…the dip in her back…resting at her waist, trying to control the urge to keep going.

"Are you feeling okay? Sleep well?" I should have asked her right then if she was okay with me still holding her…if she was okay with _us_…but I didn't want to face it just yet, if she said no. I wanted to hold her a little bit longer…feel her next to me…kiss her again…

My body was still fighting…it wanted her hands on me…wanted her mouth on mine…wanted to be buried deep inside her…

It was all I could do to press a small kiss on her forehead, tried to show her I really did care. She reacted to that…her hand moved to my chest and she seemed to snuggle closer to me…I could feel her breasts press softly near my rib cage. It nearly tore a groan from my throat, and I could feel my fingers start to dig into her waist, bringing her closer to me.

I knew I had to be honest with her…starting right now…before either of us moved one step further. So with overwhelming desire, and halting hesitation, I pulled away from her…moving my body down so that I could look into her eyes.

"I want you Beautiful…" I kept my voice steady, my eyes locked to hers, making it clear that I wanted to make love to her again. But more than that, I wanted her to know how important she was to me…wanted her to know how much I valued her, and that I would move heaven and earth to make sure our secret would stay safe. I would never throw it in her face, or threaten to tell her husband…never interfere with their lives, or make her choose between him and me. I also wanted her to know that whenever she was with me, I would do everything in my power to make her feel beautiful and special…to show her the world in a whole new way…

She watched me quietly as I spoke, her eyes searching mine while she took a quick breath. She didn't hesitate at all in answering me…telling me that that she would be here for _me_…any time I wanted her. That she would risk her whole life…for _me_. And she would ask for nothing in return…not the fame I'm sure she knew she would have if we were a public couple…or the money…nothing…she asked for nothing.

And it tore at me.

Instead of feeling relief at her words, I struggled to swallow the feeling that I was letting her down…turning her into something that would be marked with shame instead of the glistening star I knew she should be.

She could probably see it in my eyes, but she didn't let me wallow in it. She just pulled me down to her, wrapping those slender arms around my neck and pressing her body into mine. She lips still felt every bit as good as they did last night, and it set my body on fire the moment we touched.

I didn't think it would be possible, but this time felt even better than the last. She was sliding her body up and down mine, her nails scraping against my skin leaving these pink trails down my arms. Her warm mouth found it's way up my neck and right behind my ear, tearing an unexpected moan from my throat.

And when she wrapped her hand around me, pumping along my sensitive skin, I just bucked my hips into her hand, and she would squeeze back as if she knew how badly I wanted her.

It was always hard to stay in control once I was inside of her. I had to fight this wild animalistic urge to come…tell my brain to slow down and breathe…to make it last. She didn't make it any easier for me…her eyes would stay locked to mine and those pink lips would part in desperation. Her hips would tease and taunt me, trying to match my every thrust, and with each push I could feel myself going deeper and deeper…heading closer to the edge all while trying to pull away from it.

Her body felt amazing around me when she came. A low gasp would escape her throat, her fingers would dig into my back…it felt like every muscle she had would convulse around me…pulling me in harder…taking me higher…and it never failed to make me come with her.

This woman here was everything I always imagined I would fall in love with, and I knew I would forever curse myself for not meeting her first…

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><p>I don't think we left my house at all in those next seven days. We spent the entire time getting to know more about each other…sharing stories…laughing…<p>

I just loved watching her hang out in my bedroom with me wearing nothing but my T-shirt…her eyes all bright as I told her more about myself.

I was a man possessed, trying to make her laugh every chance I got, just so I could see that smile. Didn't hesitate to pull her in my arms anytime I felt like it. And she looked happy…snuggling up to me while we watched old movies in my theater…standing on her tiptoes to kiss me on the cheek while I cooked us dinner…sitting there on one of the stools in my studio with nothing but admiration in her eyes as she watched me work, her hair all tousled and messy from us making love earlier.

It was all just some perfect dream. I just hoped neither of us would ever have to wake up…

"You ever afraid of anything Edward?" We were sitting in my studio when she asked me that. I was just playing around with my guitar, giving it a few turns and spins…all kinds of inspirational thoughts running through my head. Her question took me by surprise, and I stopped what I was doing to look at her.

"Afraid?" I pondered for a second, "That's a hard one…umm…_everything_?" I half joked…but at the moment, I was afraid…afraid of losing her…and that really _was_ everything.

She just laughed and shook her head at me, her eyes all bright and sparkling, "No silly…you can't be afraid of everything, just one thing. Are you afraid of just one thing?"

I cocked my head to the side at her words, still trying to be a little funny, "Bears?"

She giggled again, "Well yeah…bears…me too." And then she got a bit more serious, "I'm afraid of getting lost…and spiders." She added as an afterthought.

"Getting lost? Is that because you got lost when you were a little girl?" I was intrigued with this new piece of information…this new little tidbit about her.

"Yeah…probably. Ever since then, I hate not knowing where I am…or not knowing where I'm going to lend up…new places always scare me, sometimes I feel like I can't breathe."

I contemplated that for a second before offering her one of my own fears. "I'm afraid of my audiences."

"What?" she sat up straighter, her eyes full of question.

"I'm afraid to touch them. Just some crazy fear that they won't let me go, that I'll wind up being pulled into the crowd and jumped on…" I shrugged, "Sounds dumb, I know."

She shook her head at me, "That doesn't sound dumb at all…" She tilted her head to side, studying me quietly, "I would've never guessed. I mean…when I see you out there, you look so confident…so commanding. I can't imagine you being afraid of anyone."

"I don't know why…I'm not really that social…pretty private in real life. Sometimes I look out into those crowds and all I can think of is that all those people…they _want_ something from me…a part of me…and I'm just not ready to give it." I almost couldn't believe I was telling her this, something I'd never told anybody before, not even my parents knew this. But she made it easy for me to share…I actually wanted her to know.

"Maybe you just don't see yourself like other people see you, because I think your audiences, they look up to you…and I don't blame them, because I think you're pretty great myself." Her smile just lit up the room, and I had to put my guitar down and lean over to kiss her.

"I think you might be the only one…." I said softly into her lips. She just smiled brighter and placed her hand up near my cheek.

"I'm not the only one…" She said pulling back just a little bit so that she could see my eyes, "I'm just the lucky one…"

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I felt like a princess living in a castle. Edward doted on me hand and foot, making me laugh with all his sweet and funny jokes…his silly stories. I loved hearing the teasing tone in his voice…the way he would tilt his head to the side in mock seriousness before winking at me.

He never seemed to get tired of hugging me or pulling me in his arms. I loved being twirled around in his arms, in the circle of his warmth. I couldn't imagine a man more perfect than this. I knew he had his faults…we all had faults…but this man standing in front of me…he really was remarkable.

I found myself talking to him about things that I never even talked to Jake about. Little things about myself that always seemed so unimportant to share with anyone…but I shared them with him.

And he listened too. Not just halfheartedly either…he always stopped whatever he was doing and gave me his full attention, making me feel like he really wanted to hear what I was saying.

The more we talked, the more little things began making sense. He told me about his fear of his audiences…the reason why he would never touch them. His story just sent me back spinning in time and I remembered watching his struggle back at his concert before he walked to the edge of the stage and knelt down. I remembered the look in his eyes and the way he kept moving his hand away from all the screaming fans.

To me, his fear made perfect sense, he was human, lots of people might be afraid of those crowds…some might never even have the courage to step on a stage, much less perform out there. But to him, it was some kind of failure, something that should have been easy for him. I could tell he didn't see it…see how special he was…maybe nobody ever told him that, so I decided that it would be me…I would always remind him of how great he was…always.

The day before we were set to leave Nashville, he took me out to the lake behind his house. It was really pretty there. Lots of green grass and colorful little flowers blanketed the hillside. The water was this gorgeous deep blue color that flowed and bubbled up along the rocks as it made its way down the stream. Edward threw down this soft grey quilt across the grass and led me over to the water.

We got close enough so that he could show me how to use his fishing rod. I fished _once_ back in Forks…when I went camping with my parents and a few of their friends. I didn't think I would ever want to do it again. Fishing was hard. It didn't seem possible that he could teach me to fling a weight off a wire string, holding a stick, without hurting someone in the process.

Edward, of course, thought this was hilarious.

"Umm…Miss Bella, you don't throw the entire rod into the water. That scares the fish…"

I just rolled my eyes at him, trying not to get my shoes wet as I pulled the fishing rod out of the water for what felt like the hundredth time.

He chuckled again reaching for me, "Come here baby, let me help you."

He stood behind me, sliding both hands around my waist and down my arms before helping me guide my hands over the heavy wood. "Your left hand will do most of the work, you just slide your finger here over that little trigger button, back and forth…you don't let go…this is the the hand that stays put…grip the rod tight…squeeze it, if you have to…"

His words sure didn't sound like he was talking about fishing, and I could already feel my heartbeat start to quicken.

"My left hand?" I was merely repeating his words, trying to hide how he was affecting me.

"That's right Ma'am…your left hand. Your right hand slides up here…a little higher…this is the hand that moves…up and down…" he pulled on my arms guiding me through the motions of throwing a fishing line.

"And when do I let it go?" I turned my head slightly, I could see the outline of his face out of the corner of my eye…he was this close to me.

He just chuckled again, planting a soft kiss to my nose. "You don't let it go baby…you hang onto it. The line will release as soon as you press that button."

Geez I was almost dizzy now, and the way he was holding me…just pure provocation.

It took three more tries before I actually remembered to press that button while swinging the pole around at the same time. I watched my lure spin crazily in the air and plop down into the water, sinking slowly until it disappeared.

"Oh!" I gasped, turning to Edward in delight, "Did you see that? It made it. It went in!"

He grinned at me with a soft chuckle and hugged me tightly, my back pressing into his chest, his chin resting on my shoulder. "See baby…you can do anything."

"Look, look…now we can catch a fish." I nodded eagerly, "How long do you think it'll take?"

Edward pressed his lips together trying to hold back a laugh I'm sure, "Uhh…might be a long wait baby…the fish don't come that close to shore where your lure landed. They usually hang out further back."

I wrinkled my nose at him, turning in his arms, "Just how further back do they like to hang? We haven't got all day you know…"

His laughter echoed across the water and I let myself giggle with him, happy that I could make him laugh…he looked perfectly content, standing there in his baseball cap and jeans. He didn't look anything like a famous country star…just a regular guy…just _my_ guy.

He reached out and took the pole from my hands, winding up the wire with this little hand crank thing. "Let me show you Beautiful, I know exactly where they like to hang…"

God if I had a camera now, I would be taking a million pictures, because he looked so amazing as he threw that fishing line into the water. His entire body flexed and pulsed, his shoulders looked miles wide and you could see the outline of the muscles in his legs through his jeans. The grip he had on the rod actually made me jealous. I couldn't take my eyes off of him even when the lure went soaring through the air, almost halfway across the lake.

He turned and winked at me once the lure hit the water, "See baby…what do you think about that throw?"

"Hmmm…" I placed my hands on my hips giving him a little frown, "I don't know…I didn't like it…not far enough…"

I don't think he was expecting that answer because the grin faded a little from his face, and he glanced back at the water, and then at me again. "Not far enough?" His mouth stayed open a bit in disbelief.

"Nope." I shook my head; "I think I need to watch you do it again…and then, maybe _again _after that…"

He was just about to complain when it hit him…his words got all jumbled up and his face was a cross between amusement and outrage.

He took a few steps back towards me pretending to throw his fishing pole down to grass in exasperation, a mischievous grin on his face… "Oh you thought it wasn't far enough, huh? You wanna see me do it again, huh? I think maybe you just want to check me out…" he reached out and pulled me to him even though I had turned to try and get away. We were both laughing, and he picked me up in his arms spinning around and headed back for the water.

"You wanna see how far I can throw?" he teased.

"No! No! You wouldn't dare…" I tried to bury my face in his shoulder, my fingers gripping him tightly as he waded into the water…shoes, jeans, and all…

"Oh, you're daring me now. Tsk tsk…small town girl like you should know better than to dare a country boy…"

"Ok…ok…I'm sorry! I won't do it again…please put me down…pretty please…" I begged, still holding on tight.

"I don't know pretty lady…I think I might have to teach you a lesson…"

"Please, please…don't put me in the water…" I burrowed my face in his neck trying to suppress my giggles, "It'll scare the fish!"

The sound of his laughter filled my ears and made my heart skip happily, he just hugged me tighter and moved me around to face him, holding me up with those strong arms so I wouldn't get my feet wet, and lowered his head to mine.

His kiss melted my heart…I could feel my body relax against his, my arms moving around his neck as I kissed him back. When his kisses got more serious…more demanding, it didn't matter that I could feel the water lapping over my sandals, getting the hem of my jeans wet…all that mattered was returning that desire I felt in his kiss…of showing him that I wanted him too.

He moved us both out of the water slowly, and when we reached the bank, he let me go, his hands making quick work with the zipper of my jeans and pulling the soft flannel top down off my shoulders.

My hands pulled open the snaps of his shirt at the same time, and I fumbled with the buckle of his belt with my fingers.

"Having trouble?" he teased against my lips, his hands had already found their way to the clasp of my bra, and he opened it easily.

I gave him a half grunt still trying to figure that darn buckle out, "This thing is huge…how do you get it open?"

And he was laughing again…kissing me harder…helping me undo the buckle and kicking off his jeans…lowering us both down until we lying on the soft material of the blanket…filling me entirely and moving ever so slowly until I thought I would burst. My nails dug into his back…my hips rose to meet his…my back arched. We just kept moving together until we both found it…until it exploded between us at the same time.

We stayed out there until the sun set. It made the water look beautiful, glistening and sparkling like tiny diamonds all across the blue. I looked back into that handsome, sexy face across from me, and I knew that I belonged here.

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

We boarded my plane early the next morning. It was hard. I was holding onto her hand so tight the entire way. My brain just kept repeating over and over that there were only hours left…and then minutes…

And just as fast as she came… she would be gone.

She looked just as distraught as I felt. Trying to make small talk…giving me these sweet wavering smiles that would only make my heart ache all the more.

She was going home…and I was heading out again…Louisiana was next on my tour, and while it usually was a rowdy good time for the guys and my crew, I wasn't looking forward to this one at all. It didn't matter that I had to fly all the way out to Washington to drop her off, and then all the way back…if it bought me a few more hours with her, that was all the incentive I needed.

In fact, I was already missing that perfect little paradise that we'd found back at my house. I wasn't ready to let that go, didn't know what I was going to do with myself for the next few weeks, how to keep from going crazy without her.

I told her that I would see her in about three weeks. That she would love seeing Oklahoma City with me. That place had everything. Bustling downtown with lots to see and do…you'd never believe that it also had these wide open plains and valleys that looked miles and miles long, all coated with the greenest grass you'd ever see.

She seemed excited about that, and I could tell that her smile was finally real then.

But neither of us was smiling when the plane touched down…when we knew that our time together had come to an end.

Even though I wanted to, I knew I couldn't walk her down to the terminal…there would be too many people. We would have to say goodbye right here.

She didn't say much…just leaned forward in her chair and pressed a kiss to my cheek, her fingers softly sliding down near my jaw as she did that. My heart was already hurting…already missing her.

I did my best to keep things light…to try to look positive, make it seem like this wasn't going to be hard at all…that we could do this forever if we had too.

"I'll see you in Oklahoma City, Beautiful…" I nuzzled into her neck one last time.

"Yes," her voice wavered, and then she pulled her head back to look at me with those brown eyes, "I'll be there."

She didn't turn around to look at me again until she reached the doorway…she paused there, her hand resting on the door frame, and tilted her head in my direction.

"Take care Edward." She said, before turning again and walking out the door.

And just like that…I was alone again…

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><p><strong>This won't be an easy ride...for neither of them.<strong>

**Stick with me...**

**I promise I won't make you cry too much.**

**MBella**


	16. Anywhere With You

**Hi Ya'll!**

**Good to see you again! I have to tell you, I've never been so excited than I was when I saw all those notices telling me so many new readers were favoring my story. Welcome! **

**I also want to thank Mathisson the ff author of _Diapers, Diplomas, and Deadbeat Dads_ for rec'ing my fic over on her story. She is awesome!**

**Song of the day: Anywhere With You by Jake Owen**

**Disclaimer: SM Owns Twilight. I own all the country goodness.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I guess I expected things to be different now.

Thought my life would somehow feel more whole…that the feeling would stay with me wherever I went.

Instead, that same old emptiness…that same old choking was back with a vengeance.

And it was even more difficult now than it was before, because now I was haunted with dreams…dreams of those beautiful brown eyes searching deeply into mine, those perfect pink lips moaning with desire, those soft sweet hands sliding over my shoulders.

I couldn't shake those images from my brain. They lingered there…taunting me to no end.

So in order to avoid them, I threw myself into my music. Spent my energy rehearsing with the guys and focusing on performing my best at my concerts.

Despite how well I was received everywhere I went, how flawless each performance was, it was easy to see that something was missing.

Alice was my lifeline…and I thanked my lucky stars over and over that she was on my side. She spent more time than she should have, making sure I was always ready for any event. She kept me up to date on everything, so that no matter where I went, I always had the proper thing to say, whether it be funny or serious. She even went out of her way on the evenings of each of my concerts to make sure I heard from Bella, and while it may have been just a few words before stepping out onto that stage, it provided that instant pick me up, that sometimes was exactly what I needed to make it through the night.

It was somewhere in the middle of New Orleans that Jasper and Emmett cornered me in my dressing room, determined as all hell to figure out what the relationship was between Bella and I.

"Alice won't spill it. She's more loyal to you than she is to me, and I'm her damn husband…" Jasper was really only joking. I was positive Alice told him everything…at least everything she knew.

"What do you want to know?" I tried to shrug them both off. Honestly, inside I was eager to share it with them, these two guys were my best friends and I trusted them…

"Miss Bella…She's really sweet…and beautiful. You aren't going to hurt her, are you?" Em didn't bother to skirt around the issue, and I was glad, he never was one to be shy about anything.

"I'd rather lose my career than do anything to hurt her." I met Em's eyes to show him I was telling the truth.

"We all like her Eddie…Alice goes on and on about how great she is," Jasper settled himself next to Em, grabbing a handful of almonds that were resting in a little bowl on the coffee table, "And it's really easy to see how good she is for ya…how you act around her…you really like her, don't you? It's like night and day, Eddie. One minute you're moping around, whining about this and that, and then she walks into the room, and you light up and start prancing around and stuff…" He flung his arms around in a ballerina fashion, mocking me…but I didn't mind.

"Yeah…I like her a lot." Even though I wanted to tell them everything, I held back from blurting out the whole story, at least until I knew what they were getting at.

"Is it serious?" Em ignored Jasper's failing arms, scooting over away from him a little bit, "She's married, right?"

"She's married." It actually hurt to say that out loud. I wished I didn't have to say it…wished I _never_ had to say it.

"Has it gone further than just videos?" Em kept his voice emotionless, he probably thought I wouldn't tell them anything if they judged me, but really, I couldn't hold it in much longer anyways.

"It's quite a bit further than just videos." I raised my head to his, letting him know just how much further it was.

Em's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but it took Jasper several seconds before he processed what I'd just said.

"Hell Eddie, you slept with her?" Jasper half snorted, his expression ranging from pure shock to complete pride.

I didn't answer that question. I figured I made that perfectly clear already. Em nodded his head quietly, tilting his head to the side, thinking about it a little more before he spoke again.

"She's okay with it? You're okay with it? You're gonna keep it a secret?" He was asking questions, but I'm pretty sure he already knew all the answers.

"We both agreed it would be better that way. And she's okay with it, so am I…I don't have much other choice."

Jasper eyed me steadily; he was finally putting together just how serious I really was, he frowned at me, stopping midchew to lecture me…"You like her…she likes you…I don't know why we need to tip toe around this whole thing. Just divorce Tanya; Eddie…it's not like it'll break her heart or anything. You can get Bella to leave her husband; I'm guessing she would. Why are we making all of this so fucking complicated?"

"Cause it _is_ fucking complicated." I focused my attention on Jasper, trying to keep the frustration out of my voice, trying not to let on that I really wished it could be that easy, "First, if I divorced Tanya, it could screw up all our careers…even yours. We could lose everything, and I have too many people who depend on me…the entire crew. I couldn't live with myself if my own fucking mistakes cost them to be out of a job. And second, Bella's never once mentioned that she wants to leave her husband…that she wants out of her marriage…"

They both stared at me quietly, Jasper shaking his head in defeat, and Em giving me this small frown.

"Besides…" I continued on, "We already agreed…we're going to keep this quiet…I'm not going to interfere with her married life, and she isn't going to in mine…" Every word coming out my mouth was seamless, but inside…those words were breaking me…because I already knew…deep down inside…I already knew…

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

At home, all I really wanted was to be alone.

I wanted to curl up on the sofa with a book, or watch mindless television.

I wanted to drown my mind with so many other things it wouldn't have the chance to think about Edward, or Jake.

But it was Jake who filled my every waking space.

From the moment I walked through my front door, he clung to my side…not leaving me for one minute, chatting about how much he missed me, and going on and on about things that happened to him at work. He didn't ask me anything about my own trip, or bring up Edward's name in any way. He just kept right on talking, telling me about this great idea he had, the two of us going on a small getaway, nothing fancy…maybe spend the night in Port Angeles, go out to dinner, catch a movie.

Simple stuff really.

And maybe a year ago that would have gotten me all excited…a change up from our regular routine. But this time it just annoyed me…his presence stifled me…and my own guilt was constantly in front of my face.

I was putting on such an act that I could probably match Tanya's performances. I smiled and nodded at each little thing that Jake said. Tried to mimic the enthusiasm I heard in his voice, and crinkle my eyes with false merriment whenever he said anything funny.

It was like talking to a stranger now. The man sitting next to me…I didn't want to share anything with him anymore, and I didn't dare mention my attack for fear he wouldn't let me leave anymore.

I sat there and watched him as he chatted, my expression one of an active listener…but inside I was just studying him…trying to remember what it was that made me want him. He was a stranger to me now, and I wondered just how long he had been a stranger…tried to pinpoint the moment when I no longer really knew him anymore.

Nothing he said genuinely captured my interest, but I asked him questions about his adventures…trying to ease the guilt. It wouldn't go away…it grew and grew every time I looked into his eyes… it consumed me in every way. But it was also what forced me to keep pretending…to keep smiling. It kept me there in that house…there in that bed.

In my mind I fought with myself, with my heart, over and over again. Every moment of the day, the memories of Edward and the way he took care of me after I was attacked…the way he smiled and held me in his arms…the way he made love to me… those images would play out in slow motion, invading my brain at the most inappropriate times, sometimes right in the middle of Jake talking to me. I had to shove those memories to the back of my mind, force them to leave my heart alone, because otherwise, I wouldn't be able to last one more minute in that house with Jake.

And it nearly killed me.

Because I honestly couldn't leave Jake, he really didn't deserve to have his life turned upside down just because mine was. In my head, misguided as it may seem, cynical as it may sound, I couldn't hurt him or destroy his life as he knew it. This was going to be my burden to carry and live with…

I was tied to Jake, only I didn't really see him as a husband anymore…more like a really good friend…a friend I wished I didn't have to sleep with.

That was the hardest part, the nights when Jake would reach for me, and it seemed like he was reaching for me every night.

My stomach would toss and turn. My body would ache to pull away. My heart and hands wanted nothing to do with this. But I did it anyways…what other choice did I have?

It was my own dirty little secret, and I hated it. Hated that it had to be called a secret…hated that I had no other way out…hated that I was tied to it so.

Sometimes I wondered if I was actually fooling Jake. If he really thought I was the same Bella he'd always known…the same Bella he married. There were times when I would catch him watching me…studying me when he thought I wasn't looking. His eyes seemed to be focused on me but his mind looked like he was a million miles away.

It just kept moving like this…day in and day out. I did everything I was supposed to. I cooked, I cleaned, did the laundry, went to work. Placed supper in front of my husband every night, and breakfast on his table every morning. I did all this with only _one_ man on my mind…counting down the days until I could be with _him_ again.

The only bright spots were those precious few minutes when I would lock myself away in the bathroom, phone in hand, and listen to that sweet southern accent on the other end of the line.

It was Alice who always called me, so Jake never heard me say Edward's name out loud, but she would only chat with me for several seconds before giving her phone to Edward. We usually talked right before his concerts, or some scheduled appearances. I would remind him of how great he was and that there were hundreds of people out there so excited to see him.

It was only those nights…the one's I got to talk to Edward…that I would sleep through the night…

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"She's where?" I looked down at my cell phone in surprise, stopping mid walk across the wooden stage. The ringing of my cell interrupted rehearsal, Jasper and Em were standing near the corner by the sound box, pretending to be engrossed in their own conversation, but I knew they were both trying their damnest to listen to me.

"Yeah she's here…and she's being really nice about it too. I don't know what's up, but she says she wants to go over there and talk to you. Maybe she knows Bella's coming tomorrow…" Alice's voice was completely serious and overflowing with suspicion.

My mind started racing, my entire body stiffening at Alice's words. "You can send her out here. I'll talk to her…" I started walking across the stage, half shaking my head in disbelief, Tanya was going to try and make this difficult every step of the way, I just knew it.

"Okay, I'll let her go in a second…uhh…Edward…I don't know why, but she brought the boys…"

Those words made me freeze, practically trip over my own two feet. "My sons? My son is here?"

"Yeah, and the nanny isn't here. I don't know why either."

"Send her out here now Alice. Are my boys okay?"

"They look fine. Happy. Okay, I waved her through, she'll be out there in a minute…"

I spun around quickly and made a beeline for the stage entrance. Something must be wrong…some type of emergency. Tanya never traveled with the boys unless she was going on a vacation, and _that_ I would know about ahead of time. By the time I reached the entrance I could see her. She looked perfectly content, cradling Brady in one arm and holding Collin's hand in the other.

"Edward! I'm so glad I was able to find you darling." She gave me this great big smile as she approached me, making me a million times more confused and concerned than I already was.

"Is everything okay? Are the boys okay? What are you doing here?" I couldn't hold back my worry, but the look in Tanya's eyes was one of pure delight, and a little seed of doubt began to form in my mind.

"Everything is just fine. The boys are perfectly okay…well Collin might be ready for his nap, but otherwise just fine…" Tanya's smile looked real, but I had seen that smile enough times now to know the difference.

"I'm glad you're all fine." I eyed Tanya steadily for a second and then reached down and scooped Collin up. He giggled and threw his arms around me, hugging me tight. I gave him a big squeeze and rubbed his back, I really missed him.

"How's my boy? Look how much you've grown cowboy…almost as big as Daddy now…" Collin grinned at me, reaching up with his small hands, trying to grab at my hat.

"Here you go son." The hat was way to big for him, and nearly covered his eyes, but he loved it.

I placed him back down on the stage and he galloped around me, his small shouts of laughter echoing around the room. It made Em and Jasper appear from around the corner and they both surrounded him in surprise, teasing and playing with him, making him a giggling mess.

I turned back to Tanya without saying a word…waiting for her to finally tell me why she was here.

She looked slightly uncomfortable, but didn't back down, "The boys are here to stay with you." There wasn't a tremor or change to her voice at all.

"They are? Why?" I wanted to flat out ask her if this was some kind of game, "Not that it's a problem, I'd be more than happy to keep my boys…_both _of them."

"There was a conflict with my movie…I was supposed to have four days off so I let the nanny go visit her family in New Jersey, but I got called in last night. There are some scenes that need to be redone, I have to fly out to London this afternoon, and I don't have much choice, and I'd really hate to make Maria cut her family visit short after she just got there. I was hoping you'd be able to watch them…just for the next four days…" This time she was telling the truth…I could tell.

"My boys are more than welcome to stay…always…and anytime…" I gave her a curt nod, "I'm glad you brought them to me…"

There was just a hint of nervousness in Tanya's eyes as she watched me, and she quickly turned away, still holding onto Brady so that I wouldn't be able to see her when she said, "Thank you Edward, that means a lot to me."

I was just about to feel sorry for her…to give her the benefit of doubt when the thought suddenly crossed my mind, where was Brady's dad, and why in the hell wasn't he putting up a fuss about leaving his son with me…

"Where's Paul?" I asked her point blank, mostly because I didn't have time to put up with any bullshit.

"Whaa…" Tanya spun around, this little gasp of disbelief falling from her lips.

"Paul…Brady's dad…where is he?" It was the first time I said his name out loud, the first I ever acknowledged him.

"He's…he's…" Tanya's eyes were suddenly full of fear…wide open and staring at me. "He's already in London…" her voice faltered, "All the directors and producers flew out a few days ago…"

"Does he know? That Brady's going to stay here?" I was actually surprising myself…that I was being so bold. Not rude…not demanding…just blunt, something I'd never been able to do with Tanya before.

"He…he knows. It doesn't bother him…" Tanya was looking everywhere but me when she said that. It crossed my mind that she might be lying, but there really wasn't anything for her to gain by lying to me about this.

I gave her a curt nod, "You can leave the boy's things in my dressing room. I'll cut rehearsal short today. Don't worry about the boys. They'll be fine."

I didn't give Tanya any time to say anything else. I just brushed right past her, picking up Brady's baby bag in one hand, and reaching for Brady with the other. I walked over to Collin who was still with the Jasper and Em. I know they heard every word exchanged between Tanya and me, Jasper was grinning, this look of triumph on his face, but Em's expression was serious, he was trying to figure Tanya's motives out.

Tanya just stood there, frozen in her spot for a few moments, her mouth half open. She looked stunned that I'd spoken to her that way, but she didn't say anything else, and I never looked back to see when she left.

The guys walked over with me to the dressing room, Em scooped Collin up and bounced him down on the sofa before turning to me. "Have any idea what this is all about?"

I shook my head at him. "None…but I'm sure she's up to something."

Jasper snorted, "What wuss leaves his kid with another man?"

"I'm not sure he knows…" I shrugged, "But I don't care guys…I know how to take care of my boys."

"That's right. This is no problem…we got this." Jasper reached out and swung Collin up over his shoulders, "Me and my little man are gonna have a blast…"

I didn't hear from Tanya at all after that, but I did have Seth track her whereabouts to see if she really headed for London. He told me that she had, and that Paul was there too. I was able to relax a little more after that…and actually looked forward to having Bella meet my sons the next day.

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><p>The morning Bella was set to arrive, I busied myself with my boys, letting Collin play with the building blocks that Jasper dropped off, and watching Brady coo and smile in his bouncy seat. Seeing both of them here with me really did leave me with a feeling of contentment, and it didn't bother me one bit that I blew off rehearsal.<p>

Alice should be back with Bella any moment now, and I wondered how her time at home went? Wondered if her and her husband talked, or if she told him what happened to her in Nashville.

I tried a couple of times to put myself in his shoes, tried to guess how he would take it if he found out about us, until I realized that I was already in his shoes, that I had a wife who slept with another man. It did send a pang of guilt through me, because I did know how that felt inside when I found out about Tanya and Paul. But as sorry as I felt, I knew it wouldn't stop me from keeping Bella with me as often as I could. I didn't like the feeling that I was destroying another man's life, especially since he didn't deserve it…but I wasn't ready to make any other choices…not yet…

Brady cried softly from his chair, and I picked him up gently…rocking him in my arms, humming to him as I walked, until he fell back into a content sleep. I stared down at those pinkish cheeks and tiny fisted hands of the baby boy who put his entire trust and life in my hands, and I never wished so badly that this boy belonged to me…_Bella and me_…

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><p>BPOV<p>

Jake was making me real nervous. He knew I had to leave today…he knew that, yet it still seemed like he was doing everything in his power to delay me from packing…

"Come on babe, you can put that off for five more minutes and watch a bit more TV with me…" He patted the seat next to him and then held out his hand to me.

I hesitated…torn. I didn't want to sit down with him; I really wanted to pack my things so that I would be more than ready when the service car came.

"I shouldn't…" I stammered, wishing I had a real good excuse, "I might miss my ride to the airport."

Jake shrugged, still patting the seat next to him, "If you do, that's fine, I'll just drive you myself."

If he was testing me, I knew I better go sit with him, so I mentally gave in and pretended to be interested in the movie we'd been watching. Jake looked pleased, casually tossing his arm around my shoulders and laughing at the funny antics of the comedy show on TV.

I just kept my eye on the clock…counting down the hours…and then the minutes…until Jake knew that I couldn't stay there one second longer. He wasn't happy about it…he watched me scramble around tossing anything I could grab into my carry on, not offering to help.

He hugged me really tight, his hands moving to my lower back as he tried to kiss me goodbye. I nearly snapped at him…I didn't want his hands on me any longer, I didn't want to feel his tongue in my mouth, I didn't want any of this…instead, I hugged him back…let him kiss me however long he wanted…and hoped he couldn't feel how badly I wanted to be gone.

"I'll see you when you get back babe." He hugged me once more; his hands resting even lower now.

"Two weeks…they'll fly right by…" I tried to give him a smile, but I'm sure it came out all shaky and nervous.

He finally let me go and I slid inside the service car, waving goodbye from the window.

I can't tell you how relieved I felt when those tires started rolling away…how much easier it was to just sit back and breathe. I know it sounds terrible…but there's no other way to describe it, and I wondered just how long I would be able to keep this up…

The closer I got to the airport the better I felt, and by the time I saw Alice waiting for me near the boarding area, I was nearly jumping out of my skin in anticipation.

I could tell instantly that there was something different with Alice. Her usual happy self was replaced with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes, and hands weren't waving all over the place when she talked.

"Bella! Are you ready?"

It threw me…made me nervous…the way Alice was acting, the guilt that now followed me everywhere was making everything seem unnatural.

"I'm ready. Is everything okay? You look…different…" I tried not to be so straightforward but after everything I just went through with Jake, I didn't have the patience anymore.

"It's all good. Come on…we can talk on the plane."

I nodded eagerly, my heart thumping wildly at seeing Edward again.

But my heart was sorely disappointed when we stepped onto that plane and Edward was not in sight.

"Edward?" I turned to Alice in question.

"Sorry Bella, I should've told you out there but Edward's not here. He's still in Oklahoma…" her voice trailed off as fear gripped me hard and cold.

"Is he okay?" I'm sure she could see it in my eyes…the fear.

"He's fine…don't worry…he's fine. He just couldn't get away."

So during the longest plane ride ever, I sat there and listened to Alice go on a mile a minute about the upcoming events. The AMA's were closer than ever and she went over every last detail that she could think of. I was going to walk the red carpet with them…Edward already gotten a request to perform _Broken_ live on stage that night…there were going to be four different after parties that we would all have to attend. And if the video won…there would be no sleep for any of us that night…

I only half listened. Alice didn't tell me why Edward wasn't on the plane…it wasn't like him, to not be on the plane. All kinds of uneasy scenarios played out in my head, most of them the same…I was no longer of any interest to Edward.

If I'd thought I was unhappy at home, it was no match for the hole cutting into my heart here on that plane.

The entire plane ride was torturous.

And that feeling didn't end…Alice escorted me to the hotel, not saying much, shooting these little glances of worry my way. I didn't even try to ask her what was going on…something told me it wasn't going to be good…whatever Alice was hiding, wasn't going to be good.

She didn't stay with me, just handed me the card key and gave me a quick hug. I watched her walk away still wondering what she was holding back from me.

I didn't think Edward was going to be in that room. I really had no clue he would be standing there in the middle of the living area, right by the luxurious brown leather sofa, but he was…

He looked so handsome, and he was smiling…at me.

That smile sent so much relief flowing through me…I just wanted to skip right over to him and throw my arms around him.

But something stopped me. In the middle of my fear and relief…in the middle of tossing my bag down and rushing right up to him…I saw…in his arms…a baby…

It made me freeze…mostly in question. What was a baby doing in Edward's arms?

"Hey Beautiful!" That sweet accent filled my ears and he flashed me that adorable little boy grin.

He walked right up to me, still cradling that baby, and I swore I never been more attracted to a man than I was at that moment. There was something about the way he held that baby, that protective gesture, the look in his eyes. It was absolutely breathtaking.

"Hey!" I smiled back at him, "You have company I see…"

"Sure do Ma'am, I'd like you to meet my son…this is Brady…" he was still grinning, clearly proud, and it was contagious.

"Oh!" I looked down into that sweet baby face, never mind that I knew this baby wasn't really Edward's…right now at this moment…it_ was_ his…and he was sharing that moment with me… "He is absolutely precious…" I smiled up at him, it felt heavenly…just the three of us.

"Would you like to hold him? Collin is here too…he's napping." The pride was still obvious in his voice. It made him all the more gorgeous to me.

"Both your sons are here?" I said in awe, "I would love to hold him." I stretched out my arms, and he placed Brady gently in my hands. "Hi Brady…" I whispered softly, brushing some his baby curls, "Hi sweet baby…"

Edward was watching me…his eyes shining in pure delight. He leaned down and pressed a small kiss to my forehead, his hand stroking my cheek. "I've missed you Beautiful…" he murmured.

"I missed you…" I tilted my head up to his, enjoying the warmth of his body next to mine.

"You really are a vision right now…" his voice was a little husky, and his hand that was on my cheek slid down near my waist, sending goose bumps all along the way…

"How was your flight? I'm sorry I couldn't be there…"

"It was fine…little bit long without you, but I managed…" I smiled, rocking Brady back and forth. I was so caught up in the moment I didn't even notice the room around me, until Edward asked me if I would like to sit down.

There were soft golden brown drapes framing the windows, and walls were a pale yellow color with small white lines all along them. The fireplace was made of granite and all the end tables had wooden log legs with gleaming smoked glass placed on top of them. The room really was grand. It had that country appeal to it…it fit Edward perfectly.

"I hope you don't mind, but they boys will be here until Thursday…" Edward nodded his head at me, his hands in his jean pockets, "Tanya dropped them off yesterday, she had to go out of town…and the nanny's on vacation…"

I could hear the little bit of hesitation in his voice…he was saying his words carefully, and I wasn't sure why.

"I think it's wonderful you get to spend time with your boys…" I looked down at Brady and back up at him. "I know you have to be a great dad to do this…"

His eyes lit up at my words and he grinned again, "You don't mind? You'll still stay here? With us?"

"Of course I don't mind. Would you rather I stay somewhere else?" I half teased. I could see why he was hesitating; he thought maybe I would want nothing to do with this…with his children.

But the thought of being around his boys and watching him be a Dad was something I could only imagine…until now.

"I want you right here Beautiful…with me…with my sons…"

And those words just tugged at my heart in the worst way.

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I think I fell in love with this woman several dozen times watching her play with my boys. Alice gotten me all worried that Bella wouldn't take to my sons right away.

"It might take some time Edward…don't push her too fast. She doesn't know they're here and I'm not telling her, so be real slow and gently okay?"

As I listened to Alice, taking in everything she was saying to me, I promised her I wouldn't force this down Bella's throat, and if she didn't want to stay here with me because I had my kids, I'd already paid for the adjoining room…I just wasn't planning on using it…it was mostly for looks, and in case the media got a hold of this.

But she stood in the middle of the living room looking like she belonged there, cradling my boy in her arms, her hair falling over her shoulder as she smiled down at him. She didn't hold back at all, and the next few days filled me with such emotion, I wished I could've gotten down on one knee in front of her more than once.

It was Bella that played patty cake with Collin, over and over again, never looking bored or exasperated, giggling right along with him and ruffling his hair whenever he clapped with her. She hollered and cheered for him when he recited his numbers all the way to ten, never mind that he skipped three and seven…and after the sun set, she'd let him sit next to her of the sofa, his head resting against her shoulder as she read a few of his storybooks to him, until his eyes drifted close.

With Brady she was so watchful over him…cradling him close to her body whenever she held him…singing these beautiful lullabies in her softest angelic voice while she rocked him to sleep. She even did the dirty work, changing his diaper when I had my hands full with Collin, and burping him gently after he'd finish his bottle. I just felt so damn lucky to have her in my life…that everything I threw at her, she took it all in so effortlessly, as if this is what she was meant to do, and my heart swelled and pounded with every move she made.

"That's right…this crayon is red, and that one is yellow…" Bella was smiling over at Collin, nodding her head. They were both sitting at the dining table, a million different colored crayons spread out around them. What started out as a coloring session, turned into a learning session right before my eyes, and she was amazing at it.

"Do you see the green one? Yes, good job…that's green. What are you going to color green on your paper?"

Collin was mesmerized by her every move, his eyes wide and serious as he watched her. He held the crayon in his small hands and his brows furrowed in concentration as he scribbled on his paper. I could tell he was trying his hardest to please her, and his smile would get so wide whenever she praised him.

I just stood there over by the fireplace; my expressions probably matched Collin's as I studied the both of them. Bella really was exceptional with children, and I vowed to have my boys with me more often from now on…

The night before the boys were set to leave, I could tell Bella didn't want to let go of Brady…she wouldn't put him down, even though he had been asleep in her arms for over an hour. I carried a sleeping Collin, lifting him up fro the sofa, and we both walked over to their room so I could put him down in his bed for the night. It made my heart swell; she'd become attached to them.

"I think these two boys here are really going to miss you…" I smiled at her, pulling the covers over Collin, making sure he was tucked in.

"I think I'm going to miss them more…" Her eyes were shining and she held Brady closer to her.

"I'll make sure they come back…I promise…" I pulled her closer to me, gently kissing her on the forehead.

"You have such beautiful children Edward…they are really amazing…you're very lucky…" She smiled up at me, "I always wondered what it would be like…to have a baby…" Her eyes were wide and so full of emotion, it threw me…made me forget that I wasn't the only man in her life, and the words just escaped me,

"Maybe one day I could give you one…a baby…"

It didn't dawn on me what I said until I heard her suck in her breath…and I knew my words had hurt her…because I had that same pain in my heart.

I would never…_ever_…be able to give her a baby…

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

If I thought Edward was gorgeous up on stage singing…if I was awestruck by the way he played his guitar…

What I was feeling now completely surpassed that; because Edward as _Daddy_ was far more enticing than Edward as Country Music Star…

He had this genuine, raw, compassion for his boys…I could tell he would move mountains for them. He watched over them with such strong affection…making sure they were happy and comfortable. It just moved me in such a way…

There was a change in his voice when he sang to them…something he never used while on stage, something I never heard before. It was reserved just for them…just for his children.

And watching them interact…whichever boy it might be with…nothing else in the world mattered, and I felt so blessed that I was able to witness that.

He would swing Collin up on his shoulders, trotting around the room while Collin giggled and shouted. He would bounce him on his knee for hours on the end…and in the evenings he would play the same lively tune on his guitar over and over because Collin would clap and bob along to the music.

And with Brady…that's when my heart would melt. With Brady…Edward would hold him against his body, his arm wrapped securely around him…whisper softly near the curve of his ear when he cried…rock him gently in his arms, never giving any indication that this baby wasn't his biological son. They had a bond…a promise…and I knew nothing would ever break that.

It made me so attracted to him that every night I would lie in his arms and fantasize that this was my only life…that all this was mine too…that it would always be mine…

And when I would feel his hands on me…his lips moving down my neck…his body connecting with me…moving inside of me…I would get so lost in my fantasy that it would become real…and in that moment…he was _my _husband…and those two little boys sleeping in the other room…those were _my_ sons…and I just wanted to keep living like this.

And I think Edward felt the same…

Because when I heard him say those words…heard him say to me that one day he could give me a baby…

The ache that took over my heart…

It matched the look in his eyes…

And I didn't know if it would ever go away…

* * *

><p><strong>A little bit of a forewarning...the next two chapters are going to take you for a ride...be ready. ;)<strong>

**XOXO**

**MBella**


	17. What Hurts the Most

**Hey Ya'll! How are you enjoying this springtime weather? The temps are finally rising here in sunny California...that's right I'm a Cali girl, but country at heart. ;)**

**Hope ya'll have a fabulous week!**

**Song of the day: _What Hurts the Most_ by Rascall Flatts**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own all the country goodness.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong><em>When I pass your house I won't stop, no matter how bad I want to...<em>  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I expected to be nervous…figured she would find a way to make me feel inferior…what I didn't expect was that insane jealousy that took over my soul the minute Tanya stepped out of her car.

That was the hardest part of all…

Oklahoma had come and went in a blink of an eye, and after Edward's boys left back to New York, there were two concert events and three appearances that kept Edward's and my days filled.

We didn't talk about babies anymore, but it silently hung over us, a harsh reminder of everything we would never have.

We spent every night wrapped up in each other's arms and somehow that still didn't seem like enough…my heart wanted more…

Alice kept me busy in Oklahoma. We spent hours pouring over catalogs trying to find the perfect dress for the ACM's. I was pretty nervous about it, I was going to be face to face with Tanya again, and I knew I had to find some courage…actually, not just _some_ courage…_a lot_ of courage…because this time, every move we made was going to be caught on camera…

If I thought I was nervous facing Tanya back then, I was more nervous now that we were here, with the ACM's just hours away.

Alice was the only one who never got tired, not once during the entire two weeks with all the whirlwind of the ACM's around us did she stop to take a breath…just watching her tired me out.

She spent that last two days hustling us all around making sure we had everything we needed for the ACM's. She didn't leave anything out…not all the wardrobe changes we would need, or the different press interviews that kept us bouncing all over town, or the photo comps…we shuffled back and forth from one place to another more than once, and sometimes it was hard to keep up with what came and went…

It was an exciting time, I admit. I secretly loved it…the feeling of being with someone so important, but mostly I loved watching Edward. This was his time to shine and he was just so amazing and adorable. He handled the radio interviews with class and grace, the press interviews with wisdom and wit, but my favorite were the meet and greets…as long as he was meeting one fan at a time, just one on one, he was incredible. And it was always funny to see the look on the fans faces when they first laid eyes on him. He would smile that beautiful smile and wave them over, shaking their hands and posing for pictures…he even gave a young girl his autograph and then let her keep the pen which she clutched close to her heart squealing in delight.

I imagined that the look I was seeing on the fans faces was probably exactly what I looked like the first time I ever laid eyes on Edward, and it made me giggle, I must've looked so star struck when I met him.

Since our days were completely filled from sun up to sun down, the only time I got to spend with him were the evenings was back at our hotel.

Those were the best part of our time together. I never tired of feeling Edward's kisses trailing down my neck, or his hands sliding over my body…and every time he entered me, it felt like the first time…explosive, hot, and emotional…

Even then, our time together constantly flew right by.

At the last minute, the day of the ACM's, Alice decided that both she and I would get ready in my hotel room. She brought a ton of makeup, wardrobe, and hairstylist people with her so the living area was filled with all sorts of equipment…make up kits, styling tools, rolling racks…

It irritated Edward at first, he watched everyone with apprehensive eyes…sidestepping around all the different crates and boxes…until finally, Alice ushered him out, telling him that Jasper and Emmett were getting ready in the adjoining room.

So as I stood there, half surrounded by make up artists, Alice chatted a mile a minute next to me, even though I couldn't see her.

"I wanted you to wear black…but since _someone_ whined and complained about how _she_ already had a black dress I decided I'm going to put you in pink…glittering, sequined, pink…you are totally going to blow her away…"

I wasn't allowed to move just yet…the make up artist wanted me frozen as she applied spray on foundation…I knew Alice was talking about Tanya, and I wasn't sure about the color pink. Pink had never been one of my favorites to wear, but I was trusting Alice…

"Tanya thinks she going to look like a vixen…that's what she's going for…glamor. But what she doesn't know, is that you are going to walk in there looking so dainty and demure next to her…so fresh and radiant…the black, it's just going to age her…" Alice stood on her tiptoes, trying to peek at me through the wall of people. I could see tiny glimpses of her eyes as she bobbed her head over the woman standing in front of me.

"Edward's going to have to hold his own…" her face vanished from my view once more and the make up artist began to work on my eyes, "He has to sit between the both of you during the show…" she gave out a small chuckle…

It wasn't funny to me, that's what I was actually dreading. Both of us, on either side of Edward…knowing that he was forced to make sure it looked like him and Tanya were in the perfect marriage.

"But I'm not too worried…he can handle Tanya…he _has been _handling Tanya…"

I could hear a bit of pride in her voice, but I had no idea what she meant, and I didn't really have time to dwell on it either, because once the make up artist was done, it was the hairstylist's turn, and she was waiting right behind her with her curling iron in hand and a bottle of styling spray in the other.

"I only want it half up…" Alice began giving instructions to the young girl who began wrapping my hair around the barrel of the iron, she listened intently as Alice spoke, "and wavy…not curly…did you bring the ribbon?"

I just kept standing there, my mind drifting over to Edward…trying to peek at adjoining door without moving my head, wondering how he was doing in the next room. He only had Jasper and Emmett in there with him…he didn't need anyone to help him get ready…

It was another twenty minutes before I was able to move…and yet another ten before Alice was content with how the ribbon looked in my hair. I couldn't even see the ribbon…apparently it was dangling down the back of my hair in this sweet little bow.

I did like the dress…not the color so much, but the dress itself. It was a darker shade of pink, but not hot pink, strapless with these glittering sequins along the bust area. It cinched at the waist with a satin sash, before it fell…floor length in several layers of soft, sheer, chiffon fabric. It cascaded down around my legs, and you could catch tiny flashes of the rhinestones on my heels as I walked.

I twirled all around per Alice's instruction…she wanted to make sure the dress fit perfectly, and that there were no snags or flaws in the fabric, or that it wouldn't get stuck in my heels. As I twirled, I noticed someone had opened the adjoining door…I didn't see who…but the room the door opened into looked pretty empty, the guys must still been in the bedrooms changing.

Alice stopped me, moving around behind me and adjusting the tiny hook holding the sash in place, then she instructed me again, "Turn around one more time Bella…I think this is just perfect…you look stunning…"

Her words made me smile and I swung out my arms once more, turning all the way around, loving the way the dress felt as it danced around my legs.

Just as I was turning the second time, I saw him…it made my heart jump, he was passing by the doorway, his hat already resting on his head, pulling his black leather jacket on over his shoulders as he walked. The color and movement of my dress must have caught his eye because he froze, his head turning in my direction. I was already smiling so my smile just got bigger as our eyes met.

His mouth flew open, but nothing came out. He seemed to take in this big breath and his right hand flew up to his heart. He just stared at me, shaking his head, his eyes full of affection and admiration, a tiny smile playing at his lips. It made me giggle, and I could feel my hair bounce around my shoulders as I laughed.

He finally chuckled back with me, giving me a small wink and a thumbs up. It was just those small gestures that finally gave me the confidence that I needed. It didn't matter what Tanya looked like tonight…I would be able to do this…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I didn't realize that Alice invited the entire freaking town into my hotel room. It did not make me happy. This was not what I had in mind when I imagined Bella and I getting ready together…

Alice stormed the room at the last minute…ushering me and the guys to the adjoining room…telling us it would take way too much time if she took Bella downtown to get ready.

I didn't argue much with her…I already knew it was a losing battle, and I could see how nervous Bella was about facing Tanya tonight…I figured she could use a little pampering, so I excused myself to the other room and let the ladies take over to work their magic.

The guys were excited our night, and so was I…it was the first time in a long time that I really wanted to win. So I took my time, made sure my shave was smooth, and tried to tame some of my crazy hat hair.

The guys and I were done within an hour, but you could still hear the ladies going full force in the next room. We sat around; talked about our performance we were going to play tonight…watched some TV.

The movie didn't interest me much, so I worked on my next song, scribbling down a few lines here and there in my notebook. This song wasn't attached to an album yet…in fact, I wasn't sure if I would ever release this one. It was pretty personal, and I probably shouldn't share it, or even write it…but the song… the words…it really hit me hard.

It was in Oklahoma, right after I blurted out those words to Bella about giving her a baby and the realization that if anyone were going to give her a baby, it would be her husband, not me. So the melody, and several lyrics started flowing through my head, mostly coming from my heart, and I couldn't shake it.

Instead I gave into it…started writing it down…little by little. I knew it was good…I knew it would capture everyone's interest…they would all fall in love with it…but it told too much…showed what was in my heart without holding anything back…I didn't know if I was ready for that.

I wrote it all down anyways…to get it out of my mind so it would stop torturing me. It flowed so easy that I was almost done when one of Alice's helpers tapped on the adjoining door.

"The ladies are almost done…your car will be here within the next thirty minutes…" the older lady smiled at us leaving the door opened behind her.

I peeked briefly past the door but it didn't look like anyone was almost done. I couldn't even see Bella; she was still surrounded by a throng of other women all serious and focused on her. I figured we at least had another hour or so, but Jasper was already yanking on his boots, and Em was straightening his belt buckle in anticipation of leaving, so I walked over to the table and grabbed my hat, placing it on my head, reaching for my jacket, trying to pull it on in a hurry. We were all moving around the room at the same time, and it was just a coincidence that I passed that doorway again.

This time I stopped.

Because there she was, twirling round and round, her hands sprayed out around her, her hair flying across her back and shoulders. She was sparkling…radiant…and just a perfection of beauty in a sea of pink.

That color made everything about her a million times more beautiful. She looked regal, her cheeks had just a hint of blush to them with this shimmering powder that made her skin glow. Her lips were glossy but sheer, and the only real feature that stood out above the rest, was her eyes…I'd never seen her eyes so big and beautiful before with this smudged, soldering, sexy look to them. They seemed to look into my soul…suggesting things that shouldn't be suggested…

I was already willing to give in…but she kept spinning around until I saw her backside… it was the complete opposite of that soldering, sexy, look, and all you could see was sweet innocence…shining, wavy hair held up by this dainty little ribbon, it flowed down along the waves of hair, the little ends of her bow shimmering brightly. That tiny pop of color in her hair…it sent a pang right through me…it was more provocative than anything I'd ever seen her wear before. It actually made me hard…made me wish we didn't have to go anywhere that night.

I just shook my head, my hand frozen over my thundering heart, completely entangled by her presence and beauty.

And when she met my eyes, she could probably see it in me…her smile got bigger when she saw me watching her, and she giggled. It made me chuckle, mostly because I got caught staring at her, not caring who saw the emotions running all over my face.

I don't know why this woman was so worried about Tanya, because this woman standing in front of me captured my heart in so many more ways…made my mind spin in so many more directions…made my life so full, something I only imagined…

No one would ever be able to compare…

Certainly not Tanya…

…

It was difficult walking into the arena for the ACM's. Every fiber of my being wanted to be protecting Bella…standing by her side, making sure she was being treated right. Instead I stood on the red carpet with Tanya, who looked pleased as a Cheshire cat, hanging onto my arm and smiling broadly for the cameras.

Bella stood with Em, who promised me he would watch her like a hawk and not let anyone near her tonight. Jasper was the one who looked nervous…he kept glancing between Tanya and Bella with worried eyes, but so far it didn't seem like he needed to. Neither Tanya nor Bella acknowledged each other, Bella busied herself chatting with Alice, and Tanya was either hanging onto me or joking with the press. It nearly left me nauseated, and I wondered why I ever been attracted to her in the first place.

Inside the arena we were all escorted to our assigned seats. Fate was testing me tonight because I had Tanya on one end and Bella on the other. My body automatically shifted and leaned towards Bella's side, wanting to be closer to her, and I had to force myself over and over to sit up right, and keep my back straight. We were in the first row so every camera in the place continuously scanned across our faces, leaving me just a touch uneasy.

It was going to be a long night…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Edward rode with me in SUV for half the way. We had to stop and meet Tanya's car where Edward would then switch over so that he would arrive at the arena with her.

That's when the jealously started.

I hated watching Edward slide out of his seat, giving me that regretful look goodbye. I hated his quick kiss to my forehead before he opened that door.

But I especially hated the silhouette of the woman I could see sitting behind that tinted glass…

And the feeling only grew as the night went on…

At the arena, when we first exited the cars, I wouldn't look at her. I kept my eyes on Alice and gave Emmett a grateful smile when he offered me his arm as we exited the car. Alice was doing a good job of keeping her and Jasper in between Edward, Tanya, and I. It made it easier not to see Tanya's perfectly manicured hands all over those arms that were wrapped around me only hours ago. I just kept telling myself that he didn't really care about her…but I admit, it was hard…every time he smiled at her, even if it was fake, or hold her hand…my heart would just ache…

She was so loud and flashy. She stopped and smiled for every camera she came across, laughing and joking with the journalists and cameramen alike. She knew most of them by name, so we could only take three or four steps at a time before stopping again and listening to Tanya engage in yet another overenthusiastic conversation.

The only bright spot that was helping me get across the entire red carpet was remembering the look in her eyes when she saw me for the first time.

I noticed her first, and yes, she was stunning in this designer black dress that seemed molded to her body. Her dress was short, tight, and had a slit up to here…complete opposite from mine…

But Alice was right…

Because I felt like a princess, soft and precious, standing next to her in my beautiful flowing gown, and she just looked hard, rough, and coarse, like someone ready to go to a rock concert. She could see that too, because her eyes shot up and down me so fast and her body froze for just a half a second before she pulled herself together and put on that act that she does so well.

That's when the hanging…and the loud laughing…and the high-pitched talking began.

So I just kept standing straight and tall, smiling politely at the cameras and making small talk with Emmett. I didn't know what Edward told Emmett or Jasper about us but I could see how they moved around me, Emmett engaging me small talk…Jasper cracking a few corny jokes to keep me smiling.

I pretended it didn't bother me one bit when Tanya slid one hand up Edward's chest as they posed for another picture…or when Edward tilted his head down, his nose almost touching her cheek, but inside I could feel my stomach twisting in the worst way, my throat closing up.

It didn't get any easier when we sat down. I was sitting next to Edward knowing Tanya was on the other side of him. He kept turning his head to me like he wanted to say something, and I would turn to him with a smile in my eyes, eager to know what he was thinking about, but every time he turned, Tanya would jump all over him, directing him away with some inane question or pointing out other movie stars who were here in the audience.

I figured out quickly that Tanya wasn't going to let Edward talk to me at all, so I tried to avoid all temptation, keeping my hands together in my lap, not letting my body touch the armrests at all. It was harder than it looked, because Edward's strong hands were right there…right there next to me, I could see his long slim fingers stretched out over the armrest…they were calling to me…reminding me of all the things they were capable of.

Once the show started it was easier to distract myself. I was actually mesmerized by all the amazing acts performing their songs out on that stage, and all the screaming fans just added to the excitement.

Edward looked entertained as well, brightening up and smiling when his friends graced the stage, singing along with them…cheering for them when they won.

Edward lost the first two categories he was nominated in…he didn't look the least bit unhappy that he lost, clapping loudly for Blake Shelton and Carrie Underwood as they walked away with their trophies.

But I was getting nervous…I wanted Edward to win in every category he was nominated in…he deserved to win, and it would just crush me if he lost out on video of the year, I knew how much he wanted that one.

He was scheduled to perform before the video of the year winner was announced, so as the minutes flew by I cold feel the butterflies in full force, going crazy in my stomach. When he stood up with Jasper and Emmett to head backstage to get ready I wanted to jump up and hug him tight, tell him how much he meant to me, that I would still be crazy about him, even if he didn't win.

He rose, giving Tanya a half-hearted smile and turned away from her, nodding his head at Emmett. I looked up into his face from my seat, hoping he wasn't nervous…his face looked smooth and at ease, and he smiled and winked at me before walking away with the guys.

So that the show would continually look like there were no empty seats to the viewers who were watching at home, three ladies were escorted to the vacant chairs. Tanya immediately struck up a conversation with the young woman sitting between us.

I wasn't listening at first, I was too occupied with my nervousness and staring at the stage to see when Edward was going to step out there, but of course Tanya's voice couldn't be avoided.

"My husband is going to play next." Her voice was loud enough so that I could hear every word.

The girl sitting next to her looked delighted that Tanya was talking to her and she smiled excitedly at Tanya with her raised eyebrows, "He is? Your husband is Edward Cullen right?"

"Yes he is…he's so excited about tonight. He's really passionate about what he does…he's so good at it. I'm very proud of him."

I wanted to roll my eyes but kept my vision straight ahead, trying to keep my expression emotionless, pretending I couldn't hear a thing.

"You're really lucky. He's so cute and so devoted to you, all those songs he sings about you…you can tell just by looking at him, how much he loves you." The girl was just bubbling over with enthusiasm.

"Well let's just say I know how to keep my man happy." Tanya said this louder than ever, and I could feel my throat tightening at her words, "He's completely devoted to me and to our sons, he's really skilled at that guitar…and a few other places too…if you know what I mean…"

Both women laughed, and it took everything in my power not to jump up from my seat and let the entire audience know that Tanya Denali was a lying witch who just used her husband for his money and fame, who had no interest in the person he was, and was certainly not the inspiration to his music.

Instead I just clenched my teeth, trying to breath…wishing the awards show would hurry up and let Edward play.

"Is he going to sing _Broken_?" The girl turned to Tanya once again.

"Yes, I believe he is…he wrote that song for me, you know…"

"I'm not surprised, why didn't you come out on the video with him?"

"Oh darling," Tanya's laugh rang harshly in my ears, "I'm an actress…a _real_ actress, not just some silly girl off the streets. I do _films_ that get nominated for Oscars…I don't do _videos_…"

This time I couldn't help it…didn't even think twice about it…my head whipped around in her direction and I just stared at her, trying not to glare.

And she was waiting for me…because she just started back, her eyes challenging me to make a scene.

But it was at that second that they announced Edward's name and the curtain that been covering the stage was now being lifted high into the air. I turned away from Tanya, my mind still fuming from her words, and focused my attention on Edward, hoping I'd make it through the night…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I could sense Bella was nervous, both her hands were clenched tightly in her lap, and by the time I lost out on my second nomination some of the color in her cheeks had faded.

I wish she knew that it didn't matter; I didn't want to hear all the cheering and screaming for me…I wanted to hear it for _us_…

I wanted her to know that I wasn't the only one who saw her as special, that every fan in this room thought she was special too, and winning video of the year would be because of her. I wanted to tell her that, but Tanya wouldn't leave me alone for a single fucking second.

She went on and on about who was here in the audience that she knew…and_ look_ there was her co-star from one of her movies…and did you hear that Nicole Kidman actually expressed interest in doing a movie with her? That I doubted…Nicole was a very smart lady, in fact one of the very few people who I suspected figured out my marriage all by herself, I don't think she would touch a movie starring Tanya in it with a ten foot pole.

I was actually kind of relieved when I had to leave my seat to go get ready to play. I did feel guilty leaving Bella behind, she would have to fend off Tanya by herself, but I wasn't too worried, Bella had been handling herself like a pro these last few hours, and that made me a very happy man.

As soon as the curtain rose from the stage the guys and I started up the music right away.

I did it on purpose.

Have the entire video playing in the background on this big ol screen, just like I did at my concerts.

I went back and forth on this idea several times wondering if it would cause a ripple in the audience, for they knew Tanya would be sitting right there watching it.

I could already see one of the cameras facing the audience…or more so, facing Tanya.

I'm sure they focused on Bella too, but my beautiful bright girl didn't even seem to notice, her face was completely aglow with a small excited smile, her eyes wide with awe and wonder…she was watching me, and I could feel my heart smile inside.

Tanya, on the other hand, sat straight up in her chair. She had a smile on her face too…her trademark, movie star smile. Her eyes were wide but she was forcing that part. I could see her looking up to the stage but she wasn't looking at me, she was _trying_ to pretend to look at me but I could tell her eyes kept drifting back up higher to the video.

In fact, the entire audience seemed captivated by the flickering's of the big screen as I sang. I knew everyone seen this video before, but just like at my concerts, watching the video on that huge screen behind me created some sort of magic…hypnotized everyone, making it hard to tear your eyes away.

And Tanya couldn't tear her eyes away either…

I could see when it started to make her uncomfortable. Nothing about her body language gave her away, but I knew her, I could see it in her eyes.

They weren't so wide open anymore, and the smile she had on her face was just frozen there.

When I finished, the entire room was up on their feet cheering for me. It felt real good to see how everyone enjoyed it, I'm pretty sure I was grinning like a peacock, and I waved my hand in front of me and took a little bow so that they could all see that the star of the video was sitting right there.

The cheering got louder as the camera focused on Bella and her face graced the screen, she was blushing, her eyes shining as she half chuckled at everyone's reaction.

The cameras panned back and forth over her and Tanya as the cheering continued. I was hoping they would just focus on Bella since she was the one everyone was going crazy about, but right as the curtain began descending I saw it…

The camera left Bella's face and turned to Tanya who promptly used those last ten seconds to blow me a kiss with both hands and point to me before pointing to herself, motioning to everyone who was watching, especially the camera man, that the man she was pointing at belonged to her…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I could tell Edward loved the reaction he received from the audience, his grin was genuine and he bowed, waving his hand towards me, letting everyone know I was sitting right there.

Of course Tanya wouldn't allow the spotlight to linger on me a second more than it had to, because she flashed the cameraman a great big smile, capturing his attention, and once she knew he was focused on her, she raised both hands and blew a kiss up to Edward and pointed at him, she looked back at the camera mouthing "_That man is mine_" before pointing to herself.

It was at that second I could see why Alice hated her so, the bile rose in my throat, I really wanted to wrap my fingers around that backstabbing little neck and shake hard.

But they were announcing the video of the year; it forced me to stay in control. Edward and the guys remained backstage. The audience settled back down into their seats, my hands were literally shaking; I wanted him to win so badly.

I could hardly hear the names being announced since my ears were ringing with anticipation. I clasped my hands together tighter in my lap, sending out a little prayer that Edward would win this.

It felt like forever waiting for that envelope to open, but I tell you, once I heard the first syllables of Edward's name being announced as the winner I just felt so much relief and excitement for him.

I jumped right up from my seat, my joy making me forget my surroundings as I clapped and hollered for him. I could see one of the cameras pointing in my direction but I didn't care…didn't care what I looked like, because he was crossing the stage looking so elated, pumping his fist in the air. It made my heart full when I heard him thank everyone…his voice choking up. He thanked Jared and Alice, and the guys…he thanked everyone on his crew…

And then he thanked me…

"And I can't thank her enough…the one woman who brought the video alive and put up with more than she should have to…Miss Isabella Swan…"

All the clapping and cheering were no match for what I could see in his eyes as he said that, I just kept clapping for him, hoping he could feel it…how much I loved him…

Because it was at that moment when I realized it…

That I was in love with him.

_Completely_…

_Fully_…

_And with all my heart_…

But I never got the chance to tell him. In fact, I didn't even get to say one word to him for the rest of that night.

He got swept away with all the other winners the second the show was over. He had to pose for a million pictures with the guys and with Tanya.

There was no room for me.

I stood to the side, watching behind a throng of people while Tanya hung on his arm smiling brightly once again for the cameras, and then later I stayed behind in one of the dressing rooms as all the winners were mingling in some sort of lounge…I could see it being displayed on the small screens that hung on the walls.

It was just another blaring reminder that I would never be the woman standing at his side. I would never be able to share how I felt about him with anyone…

I wouldn't even be able to share it with Edward…

And that's what hurt the most…

* * *

><p><strong>Okay this wasn't so bad...but you just wait...then next chap is going to hurt so much, I promise you'll be feeling it for weeks...<strong>

**XOXO**

**MBella**


	18. Remind Me

**So I lied...this is another long one...but I don't think you really mind do ya?**

**When you get to the end, don't yell at me please. Yelling makes me cry. LOL**

**Song of the day: _Remind Me_ by my boyfriend Brad Paisley ftr Carrie Underwood.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I wished I owned Brad. The country goodness you read here today is all mine. :D**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

It took Alice six days after the ACM's before she would talk to me, and I didn't even know why. She was roaring pissed, completely ignoring me whenever we were in the same room. She finally cornered me after one of my concerts, not able to hold it in any longer. Bella wasn't there, she'd been home for a week and wasn't supposed to come back out for another three, but I pressed on Jared, pushing him to let us start working on our next video sooner than later.

Jared was skeptical…he didn't want to start another one so quickly; he also was in the middle of trying to make up his mind between the two songs I'd given him. One was a love song, that I had been saving for a more intimate moment…the other was more of a feel good, outdoor country, dance number, that I was leaning towards.

I honestly really didn't care which one he choose, all I wanted was another excuse for Bella to come back. I hardly had a chance to spend any time with her after our ACM win, the media was all over me and the other winners that night, there was no peace the next few days after that…I just bounced from press conference to appearances all day long.

I finally found out, that's what Alice was mad about.

"You think Bella's going to like Arizona?" I bent down backstage a bit on a high from my concert; the audience was still clapping and cheering in the background. I started trying to kick off my boot, it had been bothering me through the entire last set, "I think those beautiful sunsets and desert scenery would make a perfect backdrop for a video, don't you?" I didn't fucking realize Alice just been biding her time for me to bring up Bella's name so she could bite my head off…

"I think Bella could care less what Arizona looks like…and if I were her, I wouldn't even want to look at you anymore…much less come here with you."

My head shot up in surprise at Alice's harsh words, forgetting about my boot and throbbing foot, what the hell was she talking about? "What? What do you mean?"

Alice stared at me for several seconds before sighing and looking up to the ceiling, "You didn't even see it did you? At the ACM's, or the next day…or even after that. You couldn't tell?"

"See what?" Now I was getting a little bit pissed off, "Couldn't tell what? Just fucking say it already…"

"Fine." Alice huffed, her hands automatically going to her waist, "You acted like a total asshole at the ACM's. There. Better?"

Now I was pissed, my boot and foot forgotten, I stood straight up, my anger mixed with confusion, her words stung, "No it's not better. I don't know what you're talking about? Can you try not to be so cryptic?"

I shouldn't have said that to Alice because she just went off, this little fireball erupting from her body as she shot back, "You're an idiot. That's what you are. You went to the ACM's with the one woman who's completely changed your life…for the better, I might add. The one woman who single handedly won that award for you with her video…and you didn't even say one word to her after you won. You let Tanya walk all over her…and walk all over _you_…and you didn't even_ try_ to stop it. You totally let her down…I'm so disappointed…"

Now I didn't understand everything that Alice was spewing at the moment but I certainly heard the word disappointment…it made me worry…made me start to backtrack in my mind to try and figure out where, in that night, I went wrong…

"You didn't see the look on Bella's face when you won? See how happy and proud she was? Because it sure didn't look like you cared about her at all when you let everyone whirl you away after the show…including Tanya, without so much as a thank you. You let Tanya drape herself all over you…let her make Bella feel like dirt. You should've heard the stuff she was saying right before you performed on stage…better yet, you should've _known_ she was going to do something like that the second you were out of earshot…"

The mention of Tanya hurting Bella immediately put me on high alert. "What do you mean Alice? What happened? What did Tanya say?"

"It doesn't matter _now_ what she said. She was going on and on about how great your married life was, and how awesome you were in bed…just a bunch of lies really. But Bella…she couldn't do anything…say anything…she just had to sit there and take it. And you just compounded it when you ran off to the winner's lounge afterwards letting Tanya go with you…Tanya, not Bella. You're just as bad as Tanya, Edward…" Alice's eyes held so much frustration, and sadness… "Don't you remember what it felt like Edward? To be ignored…pushed aside? How could you do that to her?"

That's when I felt the floor slipping from underneath me…Alice's words hit me like a thousand bricks…threw reality right in my face.

No matter how I tried to cushion it, no matter what either of us agreed to, I forced Bella into this situation…from day one…I literally gave her no other choice. I was too caught up in making Bella mine that I never gave her feelings one thought. Never bothered to find out if she was okay with our so-called arrangement. It crushed me…sent my heart spinning in despair. I'd done everything wrong.

"I…I…I didn't see it…I'm sorry Alice…I didn't see it…" I could hardly form the words. I was getting what I wanted, but taking the easy way out…at the expense of the woman I truly loved.

"It's time to let Tanya go, Edward…before she's the one who ruins you. Before she drives Bella away…" Alice watched my struggle with sad eyes, shaking her head at me.

"You're right Alice…" my mind was suddenly very clear, and I started heading back towards my bus, anxious to get Jared on the phone. "Thank you Alice, thank you for telling me what I should have been able to see all along…"

"Go get her Edward. Go bring her back. Bella's so crazy about you; you know that? She might even be in love with you, I think…" Alice's words made me slow down, and half turn back to her.

"You think so?" I was afraid to look at Alice for fear she was just teasing me…

"I really do." Her voice was somber, and when I met her eyes I could see that she meant every word.

* * *

><p>"Are you sure ya want to start filming another one so quickly? Shine is still in the top thirty…we won video of the year, we don't have to rush anymore…" Jared was hesitating, still trying to put me off, but this time I wasn't taking no for an answer.<p>

"Look, we can do either _Remind Me_ or _Back road Picnic_, I sent you the outline for both already…One or the other is gonna happen in Arizona…"

I guess Jared could hear rigidity in my tone because he let out this sigh of defeat on the other end of the line, but he conceded…

"Fine, Ed. I'll go over the outlines one more time and fly out to Phoenix. When does Sweet Pea land?"

"I don't have a date yet, but if I can get my way she'll be here on Monday…" I mentally started calculating how fast I could pull everything off…the flight…accommodations…but especially my apology…and confession…

"Monday it is…I'll be there Tuesday morning." There were a few shuffling noises in the background before Jared spoke again, this time his voice was much lighter, a happier tone, "Sweet Pea is good for ya Ed…I never seen you so forward…I like it…suits ya better…"

"Thanks Jared…I agree…" I half chuckled at his words, I was glad he never quit on me…even back when my videos used to suck.

"Do right by her…" Was all he said before hanging up.

I spent the next few days doing a lot of soul searching in the back of my bus. I hadn't been much of a man lately…to busy trying to keep everything a secret; I thought I was protecting her, but in reality, I hurt Bella in the process. It was time for me to man up. Tell her how I really felt, tell her I was ready to give up everything for her, that none of it mattered if I didn't have her, and ask her if she felt the same. It was time to face the demons…time to find out if she would be willing to leave her husband.

I played out the scenarios over and over in my head…how she would tell me she would leave him…that I meant more to her than he did…

It was hard to imagine it turning out any other way, because then I would remember the way she responded to my touch, the way her back would arch…the deep moans escaping her throat as I thrust into her…the soft gasps falling from her lips whenever I kissed her breasts. She had to feel the same way about me…for her to respond like that…didn't she?

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

He wanted me to go back two weeks earlier than planned, and at first I didn't think that was going to be possible.

The minute I got home Jake cornered me with a list of a million things he wanted us to do together. I'm not kidding when he started ticking off several day trips and a few overnighters not less than ten minutes after I put my carry-on bag down.

I just gave him a weak smile and agreed to everything. I didn't have the strength or energy to argue with him.

Besides, I wasn't feeling so great about myself lately. It was such a heavy burden, carrying this secret around…it made me feel ugly and worthless inside, and I actually believed I could spend the next few weeks pretending Edward Cullen didn't exist.

It was almost laughable…

Trying to believe he didn't exist.

I couldn't even go five minutes without something reminding me of Edward.

And it was embarrassing trying to pretend with Jake…my movements were robotic and I was nothing short of awkward in Jake's arms at night. I was a fool to believe that I could be with two men at the same time…that I could love one and just pretend to love the other. My heart made it impossible…it already knew who it loved.

But my mind was the one that knew the truth.

And it was a bitter pill to swallow.

Because no matter which way I looked at it, I knew what Edward felt for me wasn't love…it was merely physical attraction…something to fill his time…lust with affection thrown in…he would do everything to keep his career intact, that was the most important thing to him.

And I couldn't even blame him, or be angry with him about it. He made it very clear the morning after we first had sex what he wanted out of me, and then he just reaffirmed those choices at the ACM's. This is _exactly_ how he wanted things to be, and I agreed to them…thought I could control my heart with my mind, and now it was just sinking me into insanity.

But fate kept testing me, and in the middle of our so-called getaway, Jake got a call from his company. They needed him to haul an emergency load to Nevada; the guy who was scheduled for it was out sick. Jake actually tried to get out of it, arguing with his boss over the phone, asking him if they could get someone else.

When he didn't have any luck with that, he turned to me, trying to convince me to go with him…we could make it an adventure, he said. But I had no interest in spending hours and hours cooped up with him in a semi truck on the lonely freeways.

I could tell he was a little bit angry with me when he didn't get his way, he took me back home mostly in silence and kissed me on the cheek goodbye when he left.

He exploded on the phone when I called him two days later telling him I had to go to Phoenix.

"What the hell Bella, you're leaving again? You just got home a couple of weeks ago. I only have another day and half, two days tops left of this haul…I should be home Monday evening, we could finish out the week together. Tell _him_ you can't go…"

I just gripped the phone silently, my eyes tightly closed. I already knew what I was going to do…I already knew I was going to leave…I was just letting him know…

"I can't do that…you know that…it's in the contract…I _have_ to go…" My voice wavered, and I tried to swallow, but my mouth was dry.

"You don't _have_ to do anything…" Jake mumbled gruffly, I could hear him slamming his hand down on a table or desk…something hard, "It's just a contract, he doesn't _own _you…"

And when I didn't agree with him, he hung up on me without saying goodbye.

But Edward was like a drug. I kept right on going back, just like I knew I would.

Before I could even process it, my plane was touching down in Phoenix, and the beautiful, bright blue skies greeting me as I landed.

The service car took me to the hotel…it looked like a vacation resort with huge palm trees surrounding it. It had a great big outdoor pool with glistening blue water and lounge chairs resting all along the edges.

I didn't linger there long and made my way up the elevator, to the top floor.

"Hey Beautiful! I'm so glad you made it…didn't know if you'd be able to come back so soon…" Edward's arms felt heavenly around me after I walked into the room, and I just sunk into him, breathing in that earthy, virile scent.

"I didn't realize we'd be doing another video so soon." I closed my eyes as I felt his lips brush across my forehead, "Or that Arizona was so pretty. I always imagined it to be this vacant, dusty place…hot and deserted…"

Edward chuckled at my words and brought me closer to him, "There's beauty in almost every place around you…but especially right here…" his voice got a little husky, it sent shivers down my spine

He held onto me quietly for a few seconds before taking my hand and leading me to dining room. There was a small glass table right in the center. It was decorated with this over sized candle blazing brightly in the middle, and intimate place settings for two.

"What's this?" I turned to him, delighted and surprised.

"I thought you might be hungry, it's nothing fancy, just a couple of steaks…some greens…an apple pie…" His voice was light and free…and he had that sweet little boy smile running across his face, I was almost curious to know what he had up his sleeve.

"It looks pretty fancy to me…" I grinned back at him, "and it smells delicious. Is there a special occasion that I don't know about?" I half teased.

"The special occasion is that you're right here with me, Beautiful…that's more than enough reason…" When he kissed me it felt different, the usual urgent hunger wasn't there…just this soft, sweet affection…warmth…caring. I could feel it all the way to my toes, and it threw me, I wanted to forget all the food waiting for me, and just fall into his arms. Start pretending that he felt the same way about me, as I did about him.

He didn't let me go right away either…he lingered there with me, his hands moving across my back, holding me close to him. Just when I thought he couldn't be any sweeter, he pulled back and whispered in my ear, "I have somethin' for you Beautiful…"

I could feel his warm breath caressing my ear, and I looked up into his eyes, "You do?" I whispered back, more in wonder than anything else.

"Sure do…it's right over here…come see…" He grabbed my hand again and led me past the table, right over to this small end table near the sitting chairs.

I could see it before he said anything else, and I couldn't believe that's what he might be giving me.

He noticed my eyes growing bigger as we got closer and he smiled at me, "I didn't get any time to share it with you when they gave it me, but honestly…it's not really mine…I'm not the reason it's sitting there…_you are_…"

A half gasp escaped my lips and I turned to him in pure disbelief, "No…it's yours…you wanted it so badly…" I was at loss for words…

He just shook his head and gave me a kiss on my nose, and I could almost hear him whisper, "I want you more…"

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

The trophy wasn't the only thing I had for Bella.

Nestled at the bottom of my pocket was something else…

A glittering admission.

A sparkling promise…

I wasn't sure when I was going to give her that one…but I knew I wanted to do here in Arizona…put it all out there before she left again…

But right now she was all wide-eyed and gorgeous, looking up at me in half disbelief. Her hands stroked the sleek metal gently, and she lifted it carefully, reading the small letters engraved on the base before setting it back down.

The look on her face was filling my heart, and I almost got down on one knee…begged for her forgiveness for not doing this sooner…almost…

Instead I whisked her back to table, made her sit down and eat. Engaged her in funny stories of some of the youngsters I met at my last concert. She laughed and laughed…her eyes all bright and full of life. It just reaffirmed my decision, opened up my eyes to what I really wanted out of life.

As the night went on, we moved over to the large sectional sofa gracing the living room. It was made with this soft navy suede material that felt like velvet underneath your fingers. I picked this room because of that sofa, when I first saw it I could actually see it happening right there…see me kneeling in front of her…I could see her eyes light up…her laugh and her answer…yeah, I could see it there.

She sat herself down, her hands in her lap, and looked up at me expectantly, "So what kind of video are we doing this time?"

She looked so happy sitting there, this sweet smile on her face as she watched me. I really didn't want to talk anymore…the urge to have this woman back in my arms was already consuming me.

"It's up to Jared of course, but I'm leaning towards this fast little number you'll probably like. The song has a lot of fiddle and twang…talks about the back roads…it'll probably be an outdoor…BBQ party type of setting…"

"Oh! That sounds fun." She bounced around in her seat and it made me chuckle to see her so excited about it. I knew right then that I would never let this woman go…knew I would spend forever if I had to, trying to make her happy…

"I'll get to spin you around in the back of a pick up truck…you ever danced on a truck, Beautiful?"

She giggled a little bit then and shook her head at me, "No…never have…are you going to dance with me? Or just watch?"

"I plan to do a lot more than just watching…" I teased with a raised eyebrow, feeling my crotch tighten just thinking about it.

She giggled again and hopped right up from the sofa, her hair swinging over one shoulder as she did that. "I don't think I've ever seen you dance before…" She held out her hand to me, and it surprised me…but made me proud at the same time…proud that she was comfortable enough with me to be herself…and that's all I really wanted.

I placed my hand in hers and simply pulled her into my arms, wrapping myself around her…feeling her warmth…enjoying her beauty. She fit perfectly there, and for a few seconds we danced…with no words…no music. We just danced with each other.

I couldn't fight it anymore. Holding her there was just sending nothing but desire through my veins, so I pulled my head just a little bit back and leaned down into her, trying to show her through my kiss how my heart felt…hoping she could sense it.

I loved the way she responded. Her mouth was always so perfect…just full of sweet rich warmth…her hands sliding over my shoulders…those tiny little sighs escaping her throat. All of those things just made that ache in me throb harder, and I could feel my grip tighten around her.

Our kisses got more demanding…and I just kept her hand in mine, leading her away from the sofa and over to our bedroom.

It always felt heavenly making love to Bella. From the minute we touched it seemed like every kiss, every stroke, was unique…felt brand new. Her body molded to mine in such a way that I could never get enough of it…and the way she fit around me…the way her heat mixed with that sweet wet warmth…I could feel my body want to explode inside her. I was always amazed that I could last as long as I did. She pulled me in with each gasp and moan…with every arch of her back…with every whisper of my name that would fill my heart like a million unspoken promises.

I already knew I would never be able to keep my promise of not making her choose. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep sharing her, keep living like this. I needed to have her all to myself…I needed to let go of everything that was holding me back from her…keeping me from her…

And I was willing to do it now…because it was eating me alive, and tearing me apart at the same time…

I didn't know what I would do if I ever lost her…how I would keep on living…because she was everything…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

There are moments in your life where things are crystal clear…amazingly bright…and filled with such hope…

I was always in that moment whenever I was wrapped up in Edward's arms. He had the most extraordinary talent of making me feel like I was made just for him.

Every touch of his hands…the way his fingertips would trace along my breasts, down my ribcage…the way his body felt inside of me. My emotions would rise and soar…my heart would tumble and ache…

I just wanted him.

All of him.

And what I found out along the way, was that I hated hiding…and I hated myself more, because for as long as I lived…as long as Edward wanted to keep me with him…I would continue living like this…keeping this secret…not asking for anything more…

It was a heavy burden to bear.

But it was the only way I could survive…

* * *

><p>I think I was still dreaming when I heard the banging on the door.<p>

My mind was still somewhere in my fantasy…the world in which Edward was solely mine, and we lived in that big house together in Nashville with our two sons…

"Edward! Bella!"

Alice wasn't in my dream, but I could hear her voice…overexcited and eager as usual.

"Edward! Can you open the door please! Dammit! Where is my keycard?"

Now she just sounded angry, and the visions of that spiral staircase and sweet little boy faces hazily faded away from my mind.

Edward was already sitting straight up in bed when I opened my eyes; I wasn't even sure where I was at first. I'm pretty sure I turned my head towards Edward, but he was already getting out of bed, pulling on his pants.

I blinked a few more times, still disoriented with my surroundings before pushing back a few of the covers and sitting up. I couldn't find my nightgown anywhere so I just grabbed Edward's t-shirt from the foot of the bed and pulled it over my head. Alice didn't need to see more than she had to.

I knew something was bizarrely wrong just by looking at Alice and Edward's eyes when they came back into the room. Both of them were speaking in low tones, Alice looking a bit frantic, and Edward looking highly agitated.

The first thing that came to my mind was Tanya.

I bet she was here again.

She would probably haunt me for the rest of my life…I was sure of it.

I pushed back that familiar twinge of jealousy…that insane wish that Edward would come up to me and tell me that he was done with her…that he didn't want her anymore.

Alice's voice rose higher, I wasn't quite focusing on it yet. Edward's movements were distracting me. He was heading for his small, black carry on case, this little frown on his face. He pulled open the zipper and began shuffling through the contents inside.

"I can always call down and ask for another one…" Alice moved around the small dresser and made her way over to Edward, she peered down into the carry on.

I wondered what they were looking for.

She finally glanced up at me; the look in her eyes sent a chill down my spine and it made me really afraid when she tore her eyes away quickly and said to Edward, "Let me tell her…"

I was just about to hop off the bed and demand to know what was going on, but Alice's first words stopped me cold.

"Bella…we don't have much time…we need to move you out of Edward's room…and into your own…I just got word, from Seth, your husband's here…"

You might as well have thrown cold water in my face. I was literally stunned. I'm sure my mouth was open, and inside my head I know I was screaming, but there was nothing but silence hanging over us…thick and uncomfortable.

"Whaaa? Who? Jake?" That's all I could stutter.

Reality, cold and hard, hit me with full force and I leaped from my spot on the bed in a frenzied state.

"His truck just rolled into Arizona a little while ago. He'll be here on site in less than an hour. We need to move you to the next room. Edward, did you find the keycard?" Alice's voice seemed calm and professional but the look in her eyes matched my state of mind.

The room was spinning and in my panic I was scrambling for my clothes…my bag…anything that might give Edward and me away.

Jake being here could ruin everything…it could break the promise I made to Edward about not letting anyone know about us. If Jake found out, it would destroy Edward's career, and I would do everything I could to make sure that never happened.

I kept moving around the room, my rattled mind barking out silent orders to move quickly…

I cast a few small glances at both Edward and Alice. Both were engrossed in their own tasks…Edward still moving things around in his bag, and Alice tapping silently on her phone.

Edward was handling this way better than I thought. He kept his eyes on his bag until he found the small blue card, which he placed firmly in Alice's hand.

When his eyes finally met mine, the first few seconds I thought I saw pain there…grief…but it quickly vanished with his next words.

"Alice knows exactly what to do. You follow her…she'll tell you everything. Don't worry…it'll be…okay…" My ears were playing tricks on me because I thought I heard his voice break, but Alice wasn't giving me anytime to answer him. She shoved her phone in her pocket and grabbed my arm, pulling me away…motioning me to keep up with her.

I just felt lost…

Lost and alone…

And desperately afraid…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

It crossed my mind once or twice.

That he might try to do something like this.

Once he suspected.

I mean I did it myself at one point…

Fly out to New York…spy on Tanya.

I still remember how it felt…that sinking feeling that you know your right, but somehow still hoping you're wrong.

I kept waiting for Alice to call me with the news that he finally made his appearance…thought about what I would say to him. How I would act when I came face to face with him for the first time.

But the minutes ticked by and nothing…

And that tiny bit of sympathy I might have felt this morning quickly vanished.

In fact, by noontime, when Alice called me for the fifteenth time that day to tell me that he was on the grounds but still not showing his face, it began to burn…deep and torturous…

Anger me to no end.

What did he expect to see?

What did he want to see?

And despite how awful it was going to seem, if this man was going to such great lengths to catch us off guard, if he was going to hide and spy on us…well I would _give _him something to see. I was going to make fucking sure he would always remember this day for the rest of his life…

* * *

><p>"I changed my mind…I want to do <em>Remind Me<em>…"

Jared could tell I was fucking serious, even on the phone, because he didn't argue with me at all.

I was starting to feel like a man possessed. I _was_ a man possessed…and getting more and more pissed off as every minute passed.

I was angry that Bella's husband decided to make an unseen appearance.

I was angry that I didn't have a chance to tell Bella anything I wanted to tell her.

Bella's panic and worry just added to my frustration. It was obvious by her actions this morning that she was going to do everything in her power to make sure her husband didn't find out about us.

That's probably what was killing me the most. The panicky look on her face when Alice announced her husband was here…the way she immediately began trying to get away from me.

That was also the reason why I wanted to do this song…now…

It was going to make everything else Bella had done before seem minuscule…but if he wanted to know what I was doing with his wife…what she was here for…well I was going to show him…

"Edward, that's crazy…not to mention cruel. We can't start _Remind Me_ today…" Alice's hurried; apprehensive words over the phone didn't even faze me. I was already making quick strides across the carpeted hallways of the hotel towards the back lobby near the conference rooms. The hotel had blocked off the entire west end of their conference rooms and outdoor garden area just for me. Jared should have everything set up within the next hour.

"What's cruel about it? It's just a song…" I didn't even try to change my tone, try to sound convincing…we both knew what I was doing.

"Look, it's confirmed he's here…he's probably already watching the crew set up. Why don't we do _Back road Picnic_, he won't suspect a thing if we do that one. I can have the crew switch sets in fifteen minutes if I have to." Alice was going to try and do everything in her power to change my mind, but I was too far gone to have any of that.

"No. I'm not changing it. Is Bella ready?" I actually hated how hard my voice sounded, how short and ill tempered it was.

"She's almost ready…" Alice hesitated, "The henna tattoo…the one you requested…it's getting put on her now…"

"I'll be in the first conference room. Let me know when she's out in the garden area." I didn't let Alice finish…I couldn't bear to hear her tone anymore….the fear and anxiety that was in it…I would make me change my mind.

My gut was telling me whatever happened today might turn our worlds upside down…I just hoped Bella was ready for that…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

"Is this necessary?" My voice was already shaking…it matched my hands, and every other part of my body.

Alice just kept talking to me in this mild, low-key voice, which did not make me feel any better, "It's a henna tattoo…it's for the video…it will eventually come off.

"What does it look like?" I couldn't see it from where I stood. The young girl who was applying it sat on a chair behind me.

"It's his initials…" Alice's voice wavered just a little bit, "You know…the same design he has on all his guitars…the E C…well it's the same thing…uhhh…"

I frowned at Alice, "What do I need this for? And who is going to see it?" I was suddenly afraid that the placement of this tattoo meant I was going to be wearing some very revealing clothing.

"It's actually just for the camera to zoom in on…" Alice half shrugged, tearing her eyes away from mine quickly. "It's a closed set anyways…that means it's just us…with one camera…and Jared. Don't worry."

But I did worry…I couldn't suppress this terrible suspicion that everything was going to go so wrong today. "You said Jake's here already, right?"

Alice only nodded at me, still not looking me in the eyes.

"Why haven't you brought him over? Where are you guys keeping him?" I kept thinking if I could just see Jake first, before anyone else, before Edward did, I could make sure everything…_everyone_ stayed calm.

"We're not keeping him anywhere…" Alice finally looked at me in alarm, "Bella…he's here, but he's not making himself seen. Our guys know where his exact location is, and their keeping an eye on him…but, it's obvious he doesn't want you to know where he is…yet…"

"You mean he's hiding?" I could feel the floor give out from under me…if he was hiding, then he really was suspecting something…

"Does he know Bella? About you and Edward?" Alice's voice broke through my thoughts, her worried eyes showed a little less panic when I shook my head at her.

"He doesn't know. I haven't said anything to him…"

"Well then, we can't do anything that will give you guys away. Today you're going to have to _really act_…and it's going to be hard, because Edward…he's…" her voice trailed off once again.

"He's what?" The tattoo lady was done so I spun around to face Alice full on, my eyes questioning hers, she just brought up her hands in defeat.

"He's got this insane idea for the video he wants to do today, and I'm pretty sure you're not going to like it…"

* * *

><p>Alice was one hundred percent right. I didn't like it…at all…but I especially didn't like walking out into that garden area, not knowing where Jake might be hiding, and seeing this beautiful white canopy bed draped with white lace all around it, sitting right there in the open for all to see.<p>

It made my throat tighten up just thinking what it might be for.

I could hardly hold myself up as Alice and I walked right past that bed over to this big wooden platform. There was a makeshift dressing room in the corner that was really just a small curtain hanging down from some cords hooked up to the walls.

"Okay, here we go." Alice smiled brightly at me, giving me a small nod. She was already in the act…looking like everything was normal.

I could feel the warm sun and smell all the pretty flowers and plants that were around us, but it didn't ease my nerves or cease my still shaking hands.

"Smile Bella…" Alice spoke in a hushed whisper as we moved near the dressing room, and I forced my face to smile, hoping it looked genuine.

"Just so you know, he can see us, but not close up…and I'm sure he can't hear us very well…just try and relax…" she kept whispering, her face still wearing that perfect smile.

I took a deep breath; I could do this…I _had_ to do this. It just had to work.

The first few nerve-wracking moments were spent with me surrounded by some hair and make up people. They were quickly ushered out as soon as they were done. I saw Jared walking by; he was talking to the cameraman, his hands in the air.

Edward was nowhere in sight.

"How are ya Sweet Pea?" Finally, Jared made his way over, giving Alice a quick hug, and me an affectionate smile.

"Hi Jared." My voice shook just a little, "I'm doing good."

"That's good to hear…" Jared nodded, reaching out and patting my arm, "we're just going to shoot a couple of random scenes here. It shouldn't be too hard or take more than a few hours…"

I gave him a quick smile and followed him back across the platform. I spent the next thirty minutes getting briefed on the video, my heart sinking with every minute as I heard Jared's directions…

"So that's what the bed is for…we'll do that one last. Let's bring Ed out now…it's a closed set so you don't have to worry about anyone Sweet Pea…I don't want anything to make you uncomfortable. Just try to image that it's just you and Ed out here…no one else…"

The cameraman began focusing on me…adjusting some of his settings as he waited on Jared who was already calling for Edward.

My heartbeat quickened…out of the corner of my eye I could see Edward making his way out of the back doors of the hotel, walking with these long purposeful strides, his head down. His hat covered his face, so I couldn't read his expression, but just the way he was walking was making me uneasy.

He didn't come up to me…instead went straight to Jared, talking to him in a low tone, not even casting a glance in my direction. Jared listened to him intently and then immediately headed over to the cameraman, giving him some sort of directions in a rapid tone.

Alice moved away from one end of the platform with Edward's guitar in hand and gave it to him, chatting in this cheery voice that I knew had to be fake. I was beginning to feel ill at ease when they both walked up to me, Edward focusing his attention on Alice the entire way.

"Bella…Mr. Cullen is here. He's ready to start." Alice just kept looking at me, her eyes encouraging me to play along.

It was hard…looking up into Edward's face…knowing Jake was watching…

Edward finally tilted his head towards me, his eyes locking to mine…I could feel my heart start beating hard under his gaze. I tried to read him…read the look in his eyes, figure out what he was feeling…but it was too hard.

"Miss Bella…pleasure to see you again. Thank you for coming out here on such short notice…" Edward extended his hand; his voice was professional and emotionless.

It took me a second… to recover from his tone, but I somehow found my wits and my hand shot out to shake his.

His palm was warm, smooth, and so familiar. It made me ache inside…all this pretending. It would never end…for as long we continued to make these choices…it would never end.

Edward was a good actor… a fabulous actor, in fact. He did everything Jared instructed him to do without a hint of discomfort…or hesitation. But his eyes guarded every emotion well. He was able to sit with me on this little stone bench and sing, making it look like he did this everyday. The words he was saying were full of ache and longing…and his voice was rich and full…but there was a distance between us. Something hung there…quiet and haunting…an invisible shield that kept our real emotions in check.

Jared hated it.

He made Edward sing again and again, shaking his head in dismay and puzzlement, "Something's off Ed, I can't put my finger on it…run it again. Sweet Pea, I can _see_ your smile…but I can't _feel_ it…"

Over and over we did this…and each time it just made Jared more and more unsatisfied.

"It's almost like you two aren't meant to be together…"

Jared was talking about the video, that was obvious to my ears, but his words made something snap inside Edward, his hands clenched and a sound like a low growl escaped his throat.

"One more…let me do it one more time…" Edward's voice was neutral but it was also incredibly firm…a demand, not a request.

"Okay Ed…try it again…" Jared was already lost in his unhappiness; he just shrugged his shoulders at us, muttering under his breath that he knew it was to early to release another video.

This time Edward shifted his body; he turned slightly towards me and reached out with his right hand to softly touch my arm.

"I'm right here Beautiful…it's still me…"

I was the only one who could hear his words…hear the anguish in his voice as he whispered to me.

It sent waves of emotion coursing through me, and this time when I listened to him sing…I felt it.

Right down to my core.

It tore my guard down, and I was probably showing too much on my face, but I swore I was seeing the same emotions flash across his.

This time Jared was pleased. "Now there's the Sweet Pea and Ed I remember…"

He moved us from one scene to the next as the hours passed; each different setting bringing us closer and closer together, until finally, Jared motioned that is was time for the bed scene.

The sun, which had been a bright yellow in the afternoon, was now a hazy orange as it began to set, casting a soft glow all around us.

I wasn't sure what to expect from Edward here…but my emotions were running rampant by this point. Every feather light touch I felt from him…every whisper of his breath in my ear…it was sending my heart in a turmoil of want, for those split seconds I forgot who was watching us…forgot what was around us…drowning in that familiar ache to connect with Edward, it overbore everything else.

His eyes were dark when he walked over to the bed. It started off innocently enough. I was sitting on top of the thin white sheet, one of the pillows half covering my bare legs. I wasn't wearing anything provocative at all, in fact, my costume consisted of these simple white cotton panties, no bra, and a tee shirt that pulled across my breasts a little bit, but nothing too bad.

Edward stood at the foot of the bed watching me. He looked all cowboy with those tight jeans and that leather cuff on his wrist. All I had to do first, was crawl across the bed towards him. Jared wanted me to look suggestive…inviting.

I could actually feel myself trying to attract him to me…wanting to see that familiar look on his face again…that look he always gave me right before he kissed me.

That's where all the acting really stopped between us…I could feel it…the shift in our bodies…the change in the atmosphere…

I wouldn't tear my eyes away from his as I crawled right up to him…my mouth slightly open, my head tilted upwards. When I reached him I slid my hands right up his chest, rising up on my knees, letting my hair fall over my shoulders and down my arms. I know he could see it in me, the want…feel all the heat that was being created between us.

It just got deeper and deeper each time we redid that scene. Jared wouldn't let Edward touch me…or even move from his spot. He just had to stand there and let me drape myself all over him…

And I was trying my damnest to remind him of everything that we had between us, and hoping he would never want to let any of it go…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

Somewhere…in the middle of it all, I lost the anger…forgot what I was there for, what I was trying to prove, and just let that intense thirst for her take all control. It didn't matter who was there, or who was watching, I couldn't just _pretend_ to be her man…I _was_ her man, and I wanted her to know that.

And by the time Jared placed her on that bed, looking so innocent and sexy with her hair all tousled and pouty full lips, it took all my control not to let my hunger for her give us away.

Once we got over that awkwardness, once we reestablished the connection between us, it was easy for Jared…because no matter what he did with us, you could feel the charge between us…the ache mixed with that incredible craving we had for one another.

So that bed was just the compilation of all those feelings. Everything we were bottling up.

When I was finally able to join her in that bed, I almost couldn't wait. I had to go behind this damn curtain to change, and then come out in this ridiculous robe. It wasn't for the video it was just for show.

Bella didn't need to change; she stayed there…waiting for me.

Jared was being a gentleman, he made sure he and the cameraman were always past the foot of the bed…a respectful distance away from Bella, making sure she stayed as comfortable as possible. He didn't know about Bella's husband, and I hadn't told him. Didn't really want him to know, he would've probably refused to do this today if I'd told him.

When we started filming again I was already lying down on my back. I'd taken my shirt off back in the changing room, and my jeans, but left my boxers on. You couldn't see them anyways, this white sheet was covering me…it was covering Bella too…at first…

"Okay…final scene and we'll call it a night. Sweet Pea, when you sit upright make sure you toss you hair behind you…I want the camera to catch your full back and it will look better with all that pretty hair hanging down it…"

Bella peeked over her shoulder, nodding at Jared that she understood. This moment was what I'd been waiting for. It would be the last image on the video, and the last image that surely was going to burn into the memory of her husband's mind forever.

The camera began to roll. She was lying next to me, both of us half underneath the white sheet. Her job was to start kissing me, pull herself up to straddle me, not breaing our kiss, and then sit upright…all while not letting that sheet ride down…it had to stay near our hiplines…couldn't show too much, we weren't doing an x-rated video…those I would keep to myself…

Her kisses were soft and sweet. Jared once showed us how to make it look like we were really kissing without our tongues actually meeting, but we no longer did that, and we didn't do that today either. Her tongue slid hot and wet into my mouth, her lips moving over me. It gave me an instant hard on that I'm sure she noticed once she straddled me.

She had to do that three times to my delight. Twice the sheet lent up somewhere near our knees, and one time her hair got all tangled up in our faces, making Jared interrupt and reshoot.

But the fourth time she got it right, and I felt it everywhere…got lost in it.

I could feel her body half roll and slide over mine. The heat between her legs only made me harder as our bodies touched. Her breasts pressed into my chest through her tee shirt, and her hand gently stroked my chin before she spread both her palms out and pushed herself upward, lifting her eyes towards the sky as she swung her hair over so that it would tumble down her back.

Jared never had to tell me what to do next. I already knew…

My hands went straight to her waist, my fingers moving softly over the skin under her tee shirt. Her shirt was already riding up on her, the ends rolling over themselves, and I knew her tattoo already had to be peeking out from that spot above her hipline, near her lower back.

So without any more hesitation, I hooked my fingers underneath the fabric of her shirt, raised my upper body from the bed a little bit, and pulled that shirt slowly over her head.

She raised her arms for me…and once that shirt was off of her, that perfect pink skin, and those glorious breasts were set free. I raised my hands to meet her wrists and with achingly slow movements I let my hands slide down her body. Down past her arms and elbows…down the skin near her shoulders and under her arms…making my way to her ribcage.

She wouldn't look away. Just kept staring down at me as I touched her. From behind where Jared and the cameraman stood, all you could see was her bare back, the tattoo, a hint of those white panties, and the front of my fingers sliding down her body…

But from the front…from _my_ view…I could see her eyes…her open mouth…her chest rising and falling from her breathing…

I could see that small gasp escaping her lips as I let my thumbs slide over her nipples. See her suck in her breath as my fingers grazed along her skin until my hands rested on her waist once again. See her eyes widen as I raised my hips in just the slightest motion so she could feel my erection underneath her.

And I loved that look in her eyes, because at that moment, she was mine…

We had to stay in that position until Jared told us we could stop. It took Alice only seconds before she was at Bella's side helping her into this pretty satin robe. Jared tossed me mine from the foot of the bed, already going on and on about how great everything was going to look once he put it all together…he promised me it was going to be tasteful and romantic, but I was only half listening, trying to shake the desire still coursing through me…and the flutter of worry about what was going to happen next…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Alice stuck to me like glue.

She even went inside the dressing room with me when I was changing back into my clothes.

I was still trying to recover from Edward's touch…from everything I could see in his eyes…everything he was promising to do to me once we were alone again. I nervously tossed on my sweater…started to pull my hair up into a ponytail when Alice's words stopped me cold.

"You're husband is in the lobby. He just approached the desk clerk there and is asking for you…"

My hands flew out of my hair in apprehension, and I turned to Alice, "He came out? Is that all he said? Do you know…if he saw… _everything_?"

"Oh, he saw everything alright…but just from the back, like everyone else. I didn't tell you I knew where he was…I was afraid you would look that way…look for him there…and I had the crew angle the bed so he would only see the back. You two kept it clean right?"

I couldn't answer that…without giving it away, so I just gave her a quick nod and pushed back the curtain, anxious to get out of there.

"I guess I should go to the lobby?" My voice was all squeaky and high, the shaking in my hands had returned.

Alice just gave me this knowing look before giving out this little sigh, "Yeah, the lobby. Want me to go with you?"

"No. No. I can do this. You go…you go find Edward. Make sure he's okay."

"I'm pretty sure he is feeling damn more than okay right this minute. In fact I'm more worried that your husband is going to try to murder him with his bare hands than anything else." Alice began following me down the carpeted hallway, half glancing over her shoulder, "If Edward listened to me, which I'm not sure he has, cause he never does, he should be with Jared in the audio room for editing, and then straight to his room for the night. We shouldn't see him at all anymore, that'll keep him safe. Don't tell your husband Edward's staying in the room next to yours okay? For everyone's sake."

"I won't. I promise. Now let me take care of this. Tell Edward I'll make sure Jake goes back home soon." I tried to sound confident but inside I was already a nervous wreck. I could see Jake's form leaning against the clerk's desk as he waited for me, and I could tell, even though I was still too far away to see his expression, that he was pissed…

"Jake, honey, what are you doing here? Is everything okay? You okay?" I was using every ounce of self-control I had to keep my voice genuine and my movement fluid.

"Bella! Finally found you! You look great Babe. We're you working? I hope I didn't interrupt you. I'm fine…decided to make a pit stop during my run…" Jake's voice was way too loud…way too overeager…

"I just…finished…uhh working…I didn't know your run went through Phoenix…"

"It didn't really. I can only stay overnight, but I thought that was better than nothing…thought it would be cool if I could see how the great Edward Cullen made his videos…" His words were clearly sarcastic but you couldn't tell that by hearing him…I just knew.

"Well we're done for the day. But we can go back to my room…order room service, watch a movie or something?" I waved my hand at him, urging him to follow me towards the elevator, the sooner I could get him out of sight, the better…but he just shook his head.

"We can watch a movie later. I saw this neat little restaurant on the other end of the hotel…let's go have dinner there."

"Are you sure?" I tried not to frown, "A restaurant? You don't want to just veg out on the couch?"

"I'm sure…I'm tired of being cooped up. Come one, let's go…" he grabbed my hand and started walking.

That was the longest walk across the hotel I ever took. I kept throwing these small glances around me wondering if Edward was near any of the corridors or halls, hoping Alice was keeping him busy so that he wouldn't run into us.

The restaurant staff was super nice to us. They knew who I was, and gave us this perfect little table near the windows. Jake kept up with that same eager voice and spent most of our dinner doing all the talking. He asked about the video, making no mention that he was there for the whole thing. I told him a little bit here and there and his reaction was always the same…interest and surprise.

After the first hour had passed I was able to breathe easier. The restaurant only had a few scatters of people sitting down here and there, and I was sure Alice had a firm hold on Edward by now, so I let my guard down…took a few bites of my food…asked Jake a few meaningless questions.

Jake was in the middle of suggesting we order dessert when we both heard the commotion…

It was coming from behind me. It wasn't bad commotion…more like excited chattering and the scrambling of star struck staff and diners alike.

It made me freeze in fear though.

I could only look up into Jake's face when I heard it, and I could see it in his eyes…the immediate change from casually cool to extreme…hard…hatred…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"Just let it be Edward…leave them alone…" I don't know why Alice even bothered to try to talk to me. Once I heard where Bella and her husband were having dinner at the hotel restaurant, wild horses couldn't have kept me away.

Ignoring Alice, I found Jared in the audio room. He was still in a good mood, completely happy with everything he'd captured on film.

"How about a little dinner Jared? There's a restaurant here in the hotel. You hungry?" I tried to keep it as simple as possible, but Jared still looked up at me in surprise.

"Restaurant? With people?" Jared knew about my thing for privacy and avoidance of random places where I could possibly get mobbed with fans, "Did you close down the restaurant? Is the crew eating there too?"

"No, no…nothing like that. Just you and me. This place is pretty quiet anyhow…I figured we'd be okay…" I shrugged at him with detached interest, trying to make it look like I didn't care either way.

"Well okay Ed…if it looks too crowded we don't have to stay…" Jared pulled himself away from his computer and glanced over at Alice. "You coming, Sweet Thing?"

Alice couldn't help but give out a wry chuckle, "There's no way I'm walking into that restaurant with _him_…" she narrowed her eyes at me, "but if he wants to get killed tonight, then that's fine by me…" and with that she turned sharply and walked out of the room.

Jared slowly turned his head back to me, eyebrows raised, "So, there is a crowd there then?"

"I think she's just tired…" I lied, adjusting my hat so that I wouldn't have to look him in the eyes.

Yeah I was nervous. I walked right into that restaurant wearing every trademark item I owned. You'd be able to spot Edward Cullen in an instant…it was impossible to miss my grey hat and button down shirt. The brass buckle on my belt shone brightly, and my boots were a dead giveaway.

The staff at the restaurant immediately broke into excited chattering the second I stepped foot in there. I half ignored the hostess; let Jared do the talking while I scanned the room as far back as I could…

He was already staring at me, not even blinking…

Stone hard…

Cold…

Bella was facing away from me; I could only see the back of her head…all that beautiful brown hair falling down her back. She didn't turn around, didn't look to see what the commotion was all about…what was making everyone in the restaurant gasp and squeal…

"This darlin' young lady here says she'll put us in the private room in the back, Ed. We can eat in peace there…" Jared gave the young girl a wink and she giggled excitedly, holding onto her menus tightly.

"No thank you Ma'am…" I still couldn't tear my eyes away from them, "I think we'll sit over by the windows…I don't want to miss this beautiful Phoenix scenery…"

Jared was still kind of open mouthed as we were led straight through the restaurant, in plain view of everyone eating there, he didn't even noticed when we walked passed Bella and her husband, he kept up the same pace behind the hostess…but I noticed…and I stopped…

"Miss Bella!" I paused right at their table, giving Bella just a small glance before focusing my entire attention on her husband, "It's a delight to see you two here. Enjoying dinner together?" I directed my question to him; half hoping he would lunge at me…it would all be out in the open if he did.

Instead he rose from his chair and thrust out his hand, "Honor to meet the man who's made my wife famous…"

His voice was incredibly steady and his grip on my hand was tight and challenging…

I didn't back down, I held on just as tight, and through that handshake I could tell…we both already knew…

"Working with your wife is my pleasure. She is a bright charming woman…" I finally turned to look at her. She was looking up at me with nothing but fear in her eyes…just pure unaltered fear…it preyed upon me… "I'm lucky to have found her…"

"She talks about you and your family all the time," His voice broke my gaze from Bella's face and brought it back to his… "How is your wife? Your children?"

"They're all fine…" I almost hesitated, briefly wondering if she told him anything about my marriage, or my boys. Bella was now looking down at her plate, her hands pressing deeply on either side of it, it was just throwing me for a loop, and I nearly stumbled through my next words, "Well I'll let you two enjoy your meal. Will you be staying in Phoenix with your wife? I can arrange for a car if you two would like to go out tonight…if you don't know your way around…"

"No need for that, thank you…I'm scheduled to head out in the morning…so tonight I think we'll just…_stay in_…" He was looking at me when he said that, but then he tilted his head, his gaze never leaving my face, and his hand…it reached out and touched some the hair that was hanging over Bella's shoulder, letting it fall through his fingers, his eyes knowingly waiting for me to say something…

I could see the red…it was everywhere…but mostly in my head. Searing red hot flames…clouding my judgment and control… "Well…enjoy y'alls evening…" that was all I could spit out before brushing past him, making my way to Jared who looked up at me with alarmed eyes.

"What in holy hell is wrong Ed? You look like you've done seen a ghost. Do you need to get out of here?"

But I couldn't leave. Instead I sat there and tortured myself…tried not to let Jared see it in my eyes. I had a perfect view of them from where we sat. He spent the next half hour laughing and talking with her nonstop. He would reach out and touch her hand often, causing a slow burn in the pit of my stomach.

And she sat there, like any perfect wife would do…her face breaking into small laughs as he talked. They shared a dessert before they left, and even though I told the waiter I would take care of their meal, he threw several bills down on the table before taking her hand and leading her out the door…

I spent the entire night leaning against that wall that connected our rooms…knowing he was in there…and knowing what he was doing to her.

I could feel it…all the way over here…through those walls. It pierced my brain…poked fun at my heart. My brain played bitter tricks on me, making me sense every time he touched her, every move he made across her skin. My ears pretended to hear her gasps and moans…her begging for more…and my fucking head just tortured me, letting me see everything…her underneath him…his mouth traveling over her body…every connection that he made…every move…

It festered in me with a vehemence…threw me in a bitter rage. It was the first time I felt out of control…felt like I was losing my mind…

I just slid down the wall, my head in my hands and waited…waited for it to be all over…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I thought I was going to pass out when Edward stopped at our table. Thought Jake was going to jump out of his seat and start throwing punches.

But neither of those things happened.

Instead, Edward was cordial and polite as always. Shaking Jake's hand, asking him if he was staying long…offering us a car. All with that sweet southern accent, still wearing that beautiful cowboy hat and those gorgeous whiskered jeans.

Jake's smugness annoyed me though. I could practically hear all the sarcasm in his voice…all that false sweetness when he touched my hair. I wanted to pull away so bad, jump up and scream at him to leave me alone.

But every time I would glance at Edward…see those beautiful green eyes…I would remember my promise to him. The secret I swore I would keep. So I stayed quiet…played my role flawlessly.

I never told Jake that Edward was staying in the room next to ours, but it was almost as if he already knew…

Because the second we stepped foot inside he pulled me towards the bedroom. He literally took seconds trying to get my clothes off, bringing his head down and kissing me with more force than necessary.

My stomach turned at his touch but I fought against it. He pushed his tongue inside my mouth roughly, the complete opposite from Edward's soft, affectionate kisses. His fingers traced along my skin in the exact same path Edward's had done during the video, making the bile rise in my throat.

He was harsh, commanding, and inconsiderate…moving me across the bed, not asking if I was ready…not giving me the time I needed. He rolled over me, his head lowered into my neck, biting and sucking…his hands pining my hands above me as he did that.

I didn't even have the chance to ask him to stop…to slow down. I felt his body push into me in one vigorous thrust. I made me gasp out loud, mostly in pain. I just willed my mind to escape…to take me somewhere that wasn't here…to make me forget…

Jake moved and grunted and thrust for what seemed like hours, his hands holding me tightly down as if I were fighting him. I wasn't…at least not physically…but inside I was…crying out in pain…feeling used and dirty…hating everything that was happening to me…hating him…

When he was finally done he just kissed me on my cheek almost bruising my skin, and rolled over. He pulled the covers up to his shoulders and fell into a fast sleep. I lay there perfectly still…afraid to move, almost afraid to breathe. When I was sure he out for the night I slipped out of that bed, throwing on my robe, tightly tying it around my waist and headed for the bathroom. I just made it to the toilet when the heaves started…

Huge, choking, heaves that shook my entire body, heaves that lasted for at least an hour, but when they subsided the sobs began, tearing my heart apart, making me a crying mess, and I was completely spent when I saw the sun breaking its way across the sky.

I crawled back into that bed, trying to curl up in the smallest ball possible, not letting my body touch Jake's.

I pretended to be asleep when I felt him stir. He rose quietly from his side and I could hear him getting dressed…moving his things around. I felt his shadow standing over me before he left. He must have just stood there for several minutes before I felt the brief brush of his lips near my ear, and just the softest of whisper, "I'm sorry…" then he was gone…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

Alice called me by six am to tell me his truck was moving again…heading for the outskirts of Phoenix. I was sitting on the floor, my back still pressed up against that wall. I had been waiting for this call all night.

I probably should have waited longer…just to be sure he was really gone…that he wasn't going to turn around and come back, but I didn't have the patience.

I just picked myself up, grabbed the extra keycard I had for Bella's room and walked out of my door to the door next to it.

I could see the signs right away.

The mess of her clothes strewn around the floor, her shoes lying erratically by the door of the bedroom.

She wasn't in there though. I could see her…huddled up with a blanket on the exact same sofa I had in my room. The exact same sofa I had pictured us at. She was sleeping, but her face wasn't relaxed at all, a small frown furrowed her brows and these little groans were escaping her throat.

Her tangled hair seemed to be crawling up the sofa behind her and her neck held these small pink bruises…bruises that I knew came from her husband's mouth.

That sight just broke me down.

Because it was me who did this her.

Not him.

Not her husband.

It was _me_…

I found myself walking quietly over to her, not wanting to disturb her or scare her in any way…I just sat down softly by her feet, the soft cushions sinking under my weight. She moved slightly but didn't wake up. One of her bare feet pressed up against my thigh and I gently picked it up, placing it carefully on my lap, covering her back up with her blanket.

Out of habit I rested my hand on her leg, still fighting the turmoil that raged inside me of the mess I created out of her life…I was destroying her…

I could feel my head heavy…my eyes felt like lead, but one last thought entered my mind before they drifted close…

Alice had been wrong…it wasn't time to let Tanya go…it was time to let Bella go…

* * *

><p><strong>Adultery is never easy...it just isn't...<strong>

**Sooner or later someone has to make a difficult decision...**

**And that time is coming...**

**Patience darlin's**

**I am beyond thrilled at all the new readers I see popping up. And of course I love all my old readers too! Ya'all know how to make a girl feel good! :D**

**Come play with me over on facebook. One of my rockin' readers convinced me to start a facebook page. I promise to post teasers there and I'll try socialize. Like I told her...my real life isn't very exciting at all. LOL My name of facebook is MBella Fanfic**

**XOXO**

**MBella**


	19. Wanted

**Hi Ya'll! This one took me a while...end of school year, kids are now home, etc...all those fun things. LOL **

**Song of the Day: Wanted by Hunter Hayes**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own all the country goodness.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I'm not sure what time it was when I opened my eyes; the room was deathly silent, just a little bit of light falling between the cracks of the blinds that were still drawn shut. I lifted my head slowly, trying to gather my surroundings. My eyelids still felt heavy with sleep, and my mind was full of fog. For a second I wondered if Jake had really been there, or if last night had been some kind of wild nightmare.

There was warmth by my feet, I could feel it seeping through my toes and up near my ankle. I tilted my head still a bit confused, but the warmth spread throughout my entire body as my eyes rested on Edward's form. He was sleeping…his head back against the sofa, his long strong legs spread out next to me. His hand was resting on my lower leg, and I could hear the shaky rhythm of his breathing.

I pushed back my blanket in attempt to sit up, still trying to shake the fog…still lost in the turmoil of yesterday's events. Once upright I could see Edward's face better, and even though his eyes were closed, just by watching him sleep, I knew…my nightmare had been real.

He was still wearing the same clothes from the night before. His soft button down shirt had creases and wrinkles all over it; the cuffs of his sleeves were unbuttoned and rolled up on his arms.

But it was the sight of his face…pale and unshaven…the sadness in his features. His hair was in disarray, the ragged breaths coming from his chest, startled me, and his jaw was so tightly clenched…the sight of him was heartbreaking. Every few seconds he would frown and a soft moan would come from somewhere deep in his throat.

It hurt so bad to see him that way. I moved my sore body over and scooted up next to him, sliding my hand across his waist and resting my head on his chest. I would've done anything if I could take back those last twenty-four hours…_anything._

I closed my eyes again and listened to his heartbeat. Despite his raggedy breathing, his heartbeat was strong and steady…echoing in my ear like a rushing river…comforting…soothing…

It lulled me back to sleep, and I knew as long as we stayed this way together, nothing could hurt us…

* * *

><p>The jerking of his body is what woke me up the second time. He wasn't awake yet but I could feel his arms and legs grow stiff underneath me, and his hear his heartbeat racing, it rang through my ears, making me wide awake in an instant.<p>

I pulled back in alarm and looked up at him. He jerked again rapidly, his body moving up sharply from the sofa. My arms immediately tightened at his waist trying to soothe him.

He gave out a small moan, and slowly his head began to turn from side to side.

I sat up straighter, bringing my knee up near his thigh in my haste to calm his body down. My face was directly across from his when he opened his eyes…and I could see it there…deep inside that beautiful green…they were completely scarred, filled with torment and suffering.

"Edward?" I half whispered, wondering what kind of dream he was having, "Are you okay?"

He just stared at me, his eyes never leaving my face, studying my every expression, my every feature.

"Are you okay love?" I don't know what possessed me to use the word love…to call him that, but in that moment, it was all I was feeling.

He blinked at my words, but his body stayed quietly still.

I started to move back from him…lean back over to my side of the sofa, give him the space that he needed, but his hand shot out like fire around my waist, as if it had a mind of its own, and I heard the word…

"Stay…" he whispered, his voice was hoarse and shaky, but his grip was firm and strong. That look he was giving me…it just tore at me. I wanted to take away the pain…the ache I could see, and replace it, put in its place instead all the love and longing I was feeling.

I half nodded and leaned into him, sliding back over so that I was sitting on his lap facing him, my knees on either side of his legs. I placed my hands on his shoulders and lowered my face into his, letting my lips brush slowly down the bridge of his nose and across his cheeks before resting on his mouth.

He just moaned…and I could feel his hands slide around me as he crushed me to him. His mouth opened hungrily to mine and I gave into everything I was feeling…kissing him back deeply, sinking my fingers into his hair to hold him against me…wishing with all my heart that I didn't have to share…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

They wouldn't stop…

The images…

The ones of Bella and her husband…

They fought and battled in my head…tossed and turned there, against my will…let me see everything from every possible angle…every view. I could see his eyes watching her, dark and cold. The way his hands slid over her breasts, leaving hot lingering trails down towards her belly button. His fingers playing near her entrance and then plunging into her, pumping them in this agonizing slow motion, making her gasp and pant. Those lips traveling over her ear and down her neck until he captured her in a kiss, over and over again…

It literally made my body ache…my heart thump with grief. I shook my head, trying to escape the images…but they wouldn't leave me…not until I heard her voice…

"Are you okay love?"

Her words filled me…the softness of her tone…the whisper of her breath. It just snapped me back to reality…pulled me away from all that crazy hurt, and sent me right back to the sofa…the one place where I imagined so much good would happen, it never once crossed my mind that it would be the place where I experienced my worst…

Her eyes washed over my face…they were filled with such concern…so much distress…and she pulled back, the warmth of her body disappearing, leaving this cold, empty feeling in its place.

"Stay…" My throat was already tightening…and every emotion could be heard in it…at least to my ears.

She seemed to understand what I trying to say…of what I needed. Her body moved back over me...her hands sliding up to my shoulders…I could feel the warmth of her body return, the soft tickles of her hair against my cheek, and when her mouth finally touched mine, my heart exploded, and my craving for her tore a low groan from my throat.

I was lost…my body took over…had a mind of its own. My hands held her to me, resting on her waist, pulling her closer against me with each kiss. I could feel the softness of her robe under my fingertips, feel her mouth…warm and wet…

The velvety touch of her robe brushed up and down on my arms as she moved over me…and as silky soft as it felt…

I wanted to feel more…

I pulled at the ties, opening them up, pushing the material down over her shoulders so it fell past her back, landing in this wavy mound at our feet. My fingers traced along her cheek, up near her eyebrows and down towards her jaw. My eyes could see those small pink marks, almost purple now, dotting along her neck…it sent a lump to my throat, tearing a half sob that sounded more like a growl. I wanted her to forget him…forget her husband making love to her, what he felt like, the way he touched her…

I wanted her to remember _me_…to look into my eyes and see _me_…

And I also knew that this might be the last time I would hold her close…feel her skin next to mine…make love to her…

I sat up straighter on that sofa, adjusting us both so that we were sitting more upright. I kept leaving the softest, sweetest kisses I could along her face, moving down to her neck, letting my lips brush gently across her skin. I wanted to be the complete opposite of however I thought her husband was…going over every bruising mark on her body with just the lightest of touches…the lightest of kisses.

Her hands moved through my hair and down the front of my shirt. It only took her minutes before her fingers had my shirt tossed to the side and my belt buckle open. I lifted my hips, helping her pull down my jeans and boxers, until finally, there was nothing left between us…

My head lowered into her breasts, taking one into my mouth…marveling at the softness of it…my heart thumping at the small gasps that were escaping her lips. I tried to go so slow…giving every inch of her body the same unwavering attention, my hands gripping her waist, making her body rock back and forth over mine. I hadn't entered her yet, she could feel me pressed against her entrance, but I was waiting…

"Bella…" I whispered up near the crook of her neck…her head was rolled back in pure bliss from the attention I been giving her breasts. When she heard me, her head snapped up, and then tilted down until her eyes met mine, her hands left my shoulders and slid down to my chest. She watched me with dark eyes, her beautiful features so full of desire. "Baby, look at me…" I guided her waist ever so slowly, moving her body so that she could feel me rubbing against the outside of her warm, wet skin one last time, "Keep looking at me…"

My voice was thick with emotion…gruff with longing. She didn't have to answer me…her eyes never left mine. And finally, I could feel myself break through her gently…slowly. I kept my hands at her waist…lowering her over me just an inch at a time…watching her mouth open and those eyes grow wide…feeling the tightness of her body as it enveloped me…

It was the most sensual and stimulating feeling I ever felt, and when I was fully inside her…when she completely impaled herself on me, she started to move…rolling her hips…rising slightly on her knees…all while keeping our gaze.

And it felt like forever…she kept moving over me…making me grow harder with every stroke…I could hear her small moans, mixed with the groans she was tearing my throat...she was in complete control…she had my body, and my heart, in her hands…I was completely hers…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Looking back, I should have know there was something so final about the way Edward made love to me on the sofa, love...that's what it felt like…making love, not just sex, but I should have seen the finality of it in his eyes, or the way his mouth and hands moved over my body, it was deliberate…decisive…

But I was too absorbed in my own feelings, in my desire to have him…that I didn't notice it, or even think about it.

At least not until later…

Even though Jake no longer was there…his presence seemed to be everywhere. There wasn't one place in the hotel where Edward and I could escape the demons that hung over us…not the garden…not the restaurant…not the hotel room…

For some reason Edward seemed to want to stay inside my room, didn't want us to go back to his. I couldn't figure out why…why he would want to stay here, knowing Jake spent the night…slept in that bed…it was almost as if he were trying to torture himself here in this room on purpose…he didn't ask me if Jake and I slept together, but he didn't have to, he could see it…sense it…

He was still beautiful and kind. He still pulled me close to him as we sat on the sofa and watched old western movies, still pampered me in every way, talking to me with that sweet accent…but still…everything about it…everything about him…it was so perfect…too perfect…

I just kept telling myself that we would make it through this…that the next location we were at together I would spend every waking moment trying to make up for this…tried to convince myself that as soon as we put a few weeks between us, everything would go back to normal…

So it took me by surprise when Edward walked out with me to garden area on my last day there. He held my hand as we moved quietly along the path and eventually lent up over by that same stone bench that we sat on when we filmed his video. He didn't say anything at first, seemed to be deep in thought, his hand dropped mine as we sat down, and I found myself looking up towards the tall hotel windows…past the big palm trees…all those balconies...

I wondered if that's where Jake had been when he was spying on us?

Up on one of those balconies?

"The tour is going to take me out to Canada…" Edward's soft words broke through my thoughts, his voice was low, and I quickly lost interest in the balconies, and Jake, as I turned towards Edward, "Jared doesn't think we need to do another one any time soon…"

He spoke in broken words…not making sense, and I just kept staring at him, trying to push back that sudden choking feeling…

"I'm not gonna make you fly out there…to Canada I mean…so…" He tore his gaze away from me then…I could still see his eyes, he was just wearing his baseball cap so those green eyes couldn't hide…

"Oh, Canada…" I kept my voice light, kept the tremor out of it, "I bet that'll be fun. I didn't know Canadians liked country music…" that's when my voice trailed off…I couldn't keep up the tone…

Edward gave me a half smile, "There's a few country folks out there…" his eyes met mine, but the usual light was gone.

"Well…you go have fun…I'll be here…when you get back…" My words were coming out all shaky and torn…I already knew what was coming…I could feel it…already knew that my words were meaningless…

"Yeah well…Jared thinks…he thinks that…we don't have to do this anymore…at least not for a long while…" He was looking down at his hands when he said that, but I could hear it…the sorrow and distress…

And for some godforsaken reason, instead of getting down on my knees and begging him to let me stay…to tell him that I was in love with him…that I didn't want to leave…I just nodded and forced myself to keep my voice light… "Oh…of course…I understand…"

He turned his head to me then…didn't say anything, just looked at me. I could see his skin tight along his jawline…I didn't know what to make of that. Maybe he was feeling relief…that he wouldn't have to deal with a bawling, pleading, crazy woman…

I blinked back a few tears and tried to sit up a little more, turning my head away from him a little bit. I didn't want him to see me cry, "It's been…nice…"

I wasn't going to make this hard for him…I probably should have…but I put myself in this position…I put myself in this place, knowing all along that it would never work…never have the fairy tale ending…no matter how much I prayed for one…

He looked down at his hands again, still silent. He seemed to be breathing heavier, getting ready to say something else maybe…but by now I needed to get away…move myself out of his presence or else I _would_ turn into a bawling, pleading mess…

"I'll just have Alice…Alice, she can help me get to the airport…" I rose from my seat, still praying that my voice would hold up…I just needed to keep it together for five more minutes…just five more…

I took a few steps away…half hoping he would get up…follow me…try to stop me...

"I uhhh…" I had to turn around one more time…had to look back just once more…look into those eyes…

And they were so green…looking back at me…piercing, beautiful green…reaching out…trying to pull me back in…

His mouth opened and I thought he was going to say something, but he didn't…maybe he just wanted to be done…

"Thank you, Edward," I knew the tears were really going to fall then, so I quickly turned back around and walked away, "For everything…"

* * *

><p>I'm sure Alice could see something was gravely wrong…she didn't say anything to me though when I told her I needed to get to the airport. I didn't let her ride with me there…I could barely keep it together long enough to slip inside the service car before the tears started…<p>

And I couldn't make them stop…

I spent most of the flight locked up in the plane's tiny bathroom, hung my head down into my knees and sobbed, wondering how I ever wound up in this position in the first place.

When I arrived at my house I actually found myself praying that Jake wouldn't be there…that he would be out on a run…

Instead I found Jake sitting at our dining room table, he looked like he had been sitting there for days…his eyes bloodshot red, a half empty beer bottle in his hand, and several others strewn around the table. His face was cold and hard, and he looked up when I entered. I'm sure he could see it in my own eyes, I'm sure they were swollen and red too. I hoped he wouldn't stop me from locking myself away in the bedroom or try to greet me with a hug…I couldn't deal with him right now…I just wanted to be alone, but he gave out this harsh grunt and waved me over with one hand.

"I need to use the restroom…" I tried to brush past him, giving him the first excuse I could think of, but he half rose from his chair, twisting his body around to face me…

"How long have you been sleeping with Edward Cullen?" his words were bold and hard, they stopped me in my tracks. I turned slightly back to him, half in shock…half in fear.

"What?" That was the first thing out of my mouth…it was instant…sudden…

He didn't move from his spot, he just tilted his head to side and waved his hand towards a free chair, he sat back down roughly, "When did it happen? How long has this been going on? And please don't insult me anymore than I've already been insulted, and lie to me…"

I couldn't fight anymore…didn't have the will…I just sunk into the chair across from Jake, I could feel fresh tears well up in my eyes as I looked up into his face, "It happened in Nashville…it's been…months…about six…months…"

He already knew, but I guess the shock of hearing me say it out loud made him take in this shuddering breath. "You've been sleeping with him for six months?"

I just nodded, clasping my hands together, trying to get ready for the explosion that I knew was coming. I didn't tell him that it was over between Edward and me…it might be physically over…but it would never be over in my heart.

Jake didn't move for several seconds. He didn't explode like I thought he would, his eyes stayed hard, but his voice broke, "Yeah…I thought so…"

I didn't want to explain it to him…or have him blame it all on Edward, I tried to use the simplest words possible…the fastest explanation…"It…wasn't planned…but it was my fault…"

He didn't look like he believed me, but he didn't ask me any questions about it, "I…don't want to know…" He shook his head, rising from his seat with a frown, he wouldn't look at me anymore, "I'm just telling you that I have a run in the morning…I'll be gone three days. I'm not staying here tonight…but when I get back, I don't want_ you_ here…" His head finally lifted and the look in his eyes chilled me, "I'm getting a divorce…"

Those words stunned me…they shouldn't have…but they did. Somewhere in the back of my mind I always knew this would happen if Jake found out. I knew he was much too proud to deal with this any other way. And deep down inside…I knew too…that this is what I wanted…why I didn't try to lie…didn't try to save what was already gone…

I sat at that table for hours after he left. Long after the sun set…I didn't even bother to turn on the lights, just sat there in the still dark, and tried to figure my life out…

I _deserved_ this to happen to me…it was my choices…my actions…

Now I would have to accept the consequences…however awful they seemed…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I literally hated myself…was disgusted with the words coming out of my mouth.

And it left the heaviest feeling in my heart after it was done.

I took her out to that garden to let her go, and all while, this crazy hope kept wrapping itself around my brain that she would fight it…tell me that she didn't want to stop being with me…that she would give everything up, her job, her life, her husband…

I knew it was just a wishful fantasy…

I wasn't her life…I was never meant to be a part of her life. I could never give her what she really deserved…what she already had at home…a man who completed her…who loved her and didn't have to hide it…

She didn't protest. Didn't beg me to stay with her…or tell me she would stay with me…

And her words just pierced through my heart when she accepted it so lightly, making me feel like a monster when I gave her the most flimsy excuse and watched her walk away from me. My heart was screaming inside, knowing I would never be the same again…I would never find anyone like her again…

I could hardly remember the weeks that followed…couldn't tell night from day…up from down…

Alice would watch me with silent eyes…Jasper and Em never left me alone when we were out in public. They could all see it in me…knew I wasn't ready to share it with them, yet standing by me so I wouldn't have to go through it alone.

I was actually glad I was out of the country…because there were nights when all I wanted to do was go to her…when I would physically have to stop myself from picking up the phone and telling my pilot to get the plane ready…

The week before I headed back to the states, _Remind Me_ was released. It shot straight up to number one in what seemed like hours. I never bothered to view all the edits or final cuts that Jared sent me…and every time he called to ask my opinion on something, I would just lie and agree with whatever he suggested, so when I finally actually saw the video, all alone in my hotel room, being played endless times on CMT and GAC it just twisted the knife further into my heart.

That video was everything beautiful about her. It showed her smile…her laugh…the light in her eyes…

I searched her face every time I watched it…looking for something that would tell me how she felt about me…looking for that one reason…any reason…that might bring her back to me…

I knew Alice wouldn't be able to hold back forever and kept waiting for the day when she would break her silence and demand to know what happened between us, but I didn't expect Em to corner me on our flight back to the states, he slid into the empty seat next to mine…there was nowhere to hide from his disappointed eyes.

"It's been a month…I think that's been more than enough time for you let us know what happened…where's Miss Bella? Why didn't she go to Canada? Why isn't she here?" Em actually looked angry at me, and I knew I wouldn't be able to just brush him off.

"We both decided to end it…" I kept looking down at my leather binder that I held in my hands…I was using that time on the flight home to finish the music to the song I'd written way back during the CMA's. The final notes and melodies swarmed my head after Bella left…and I couldn't deny them any longer.

"_Why?"_ Em kept his voice low enough not to cause a scene but firm enough so that I knew he meant business.

"It was just time…" I shrugged at him, not meeting his eyes, "Her husband was catching on…Tanya was being difficult…neither of us was particularly happy…" my voice trailed off, and when Em didn't say anything, I finally looked up at him.

"Not happy?" Em half sighed when I looked at him, "We've known each other a long time Eddie…you're like a brother to me…you and Jasper…and it's killing us to see you this way. You say you weren't happy, but honestly I think when you were with her that's the only time I saw you happy, and I'm really sorry you let her go…without a fight. Why'd you let her go?"

"She didn't want to stay Em…she didn't tell me she wanted to stay…" I finally pushed my binder off my lap, wishing I had a place to hide from all of this. Em grabbed at the book before it fell to the ground, he kept it with him, holding it with both hands.

"Did you ask her to stay? Did you tell her…what she means to you?" His voice stayed steady but I could see it in his eyes…he was just another person I disappointed…

"No…" I shook my head, "But I promised her I would never do that…ask her to leave him…beg her to stay…I promised her Em…" I knew I wasn't going to be able to keep talking about this without breaking down, so I just looked up into his eyes, pleading with him to stop, "_She ain't mine_…"

* * *

><p>Back home I had to make a million appearances for <em>Remind Me<em>. It broke my heart a little more every time someone would ask me about my beautiful co-star…where I found her…and when we would work together again…

My tour crew thought they were doing something great when they decided to not only play _Broken's_ video in the background during my concerts, but _Remind Me's_ too.

The first time it came out…behind me on stage...when I could see over my shoulder the first few flickering's of the sunlight bouncing off her hair, see her sitting on that stone bench…the very same one I watched her walk away from me…the ache...it got caught in my throat, broke me down so that I could hardly breathe…

And my voice that night...so emotional and raw…so broken and heavy, it captured the entire audience…silenced them in complete surprise and awe, it was so well received that my music studio cut a live version of that song…it replaced the original on the airwaves, on the radio…catapulted it to number one, where it stayed for eleven weeks.

And she never left my mind.

Not for one minute.

Instead of trying to hide from it…I just lived it…letting my broken heart take control whenever I sang…let it all out each night on stage.

It's the only thing that left me spent enough to sleep at night…to face another day in the morning.

Jared asked me three times when I wanted to start on the next video. He told me that he was already feeling the pressure from my record label…they were enjoying my sudden music video success and they wanted to keep it rolling…not let any of the momentum get away. I flat out lied to first two times…telling Jared I wasn't ready with the song…wasn't finished…the third time I told him I hadn't heard back from Bella...

But the truth was, I didn't even have a song…didn't have anything to offer him…

I was done…over…there would never be another video from Edward Cullen…that I was sure of…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

The first time I heard the live version of Remind Me I nearly drove off the road. My drive to work was a little longer these days since my new apartment was several miles away from my old house. It took me weeks before I didn't feel so out of place there…so lonely, and it took me months before I even turned on my radio during my drive to work.

The radio announcer's voice was full of excitement as they talked about the live version of Edward Cullen's new song that captured the hearts of country music. They went on to say how well his tour was doing…how he sold out in Canada completely and was now back in the states.

But that's not what threw me…

I kept driving straight ahead, my eyes on the road…trying to swallow that sudden lump in my throat. I lost it all when that over enthusiastic voice filled my car with the exciting news that Edward indeed had another video he was currently working on…one that would soon be released…

That's when I nearly lost my grip on my steering wheel, had to blink several times to keep the tears from clouding my sight.

He was already working on something new…he had replaced me easily…

I thought it was hard enough to go through a divorce…especially a divorce in a small town. Everybody knew about it…didn't matter where I went…people would stare…they all knew I was the girl whose marriage ended.

I did what Jake asked. Had all my stuff packed up and was gone by the time he came back from his run. I did it all by myself…didn't ask anyone for help, went looking for a new place to stay.

It was pure luck that I found this sweet little apartment…a small place where I could hide away…try to recover from my wounds...

Jake didn't bother me…never came looking for me. I got some divorce papers served to me weeks after I moved. I didn't contest anything…and he didn't ask for more than his half. He cited irreconcilable differences as the reason, and I was grateful that he didn't want to drag us all through the mud like I thought he was.

It took some adjusting to…the being alone part. I had a hard time the first few months sitting in my apartment…the silence suffocating me. There was nothing to hide me from my thoughts…nothing to keep me from wanting Edward.

The world around me still kept spinning…the sun kept rising and setting…but the loneness never left…it encircled me…trapped me in time…kept my heart frozen in place.

So the day that I heard that radio announcer tell the whole world that Edward was making a new video…a new video that obviously was going to have someone else star in it…

It dawned on me that he was moving on…and that it was time for me to do the same…

* * *

><p>"What in Sam Hill is going on with Ed? One minute he's telling me on the phone that's he's not done with his song yet…that we can't start another video, that Sweet Pea can't get away, and now you three are telling me it's all finished? The song? The music? Even the video?" Jared was standing there in disbelief…his eyes blinking wildly around him, "Where is Ed anyhow?"<p>

"He's just been really busy Jared…He hasn't had the time to tell you…" Alice just kept praying that this would work…Jared had to accept this…and it had to air. Edward couldn't find out…it was the entire reason why she brought Jasper and Emmett here with her.

"Eddie's tour is so packed, there's no more free time, he just thought we should do it this way…" Jasper wasn't crazy about lying to Jared, or Edward…he knew this would come back to bite him in the butt one day, but he'd been outnumbered by Alice and Em…they cornered him…but when he heard it for the first time, and saw some of the pictures Alice showed him…deep down inside he knew it would turn out good…really really good…

"You can still edit it any way you see fit…there's plenty of extra footage…the only thing we can't change…uhhh, or do over is the singing…it has to stay exactly how it sounds here on the CD…" Em thrust out his hand to Jared, placing the CD and the film footage in Jared's outstretched arms. Emmett knew the only reason Jared couldn't change the singing was because they were only able to record it once, after Jasper rigged Edward's room in the back of the tour bus.

"So Ed's okay with this? And so it Sweet Pea?" Jared glanced down at the items in his hand and then back up to the three standing before him. It wasn't settling well with him… "What's the name of this here song anyhow?"

Emmett shrugged his shoulders at Jared hoping he wouldn't put it all together once he heard it, "Eddie and Bella are fine with it…it's just something Eddie threw together during a break from his tour…it's called…uh…it's called," he glanced around to both Alice and Jasper in haste, they hadn't talked about the name…he racked his brain for something to call it…something that would stand out, when Edward's own words rang through Emmett's head loud and clear, "It's called…_She Ain't Mine_…"

* * *

><p><strong>So what do you think they're up to? :)<strong>

**More is coming...you won't have to wait long...promise.**

**XOXO**

**MBella**


	20. You Don't Know Her Like I Do

**Hello Stranger! Now let's just hope I haven't lost too many of you. **

**My apologies...my children's summer activities are taking all of my free time. **

**On the bright side: School starts Aug. 13th Whoo! LOL**

**And just so you know, I promise no matter what that this story will get finished, I'd never leave you hanging...**

**OK! Here we go!**

**Song of the day: _You Don't Know Her Like I Do_ by Brantley Gilbert.**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own all the country goodness. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I don't know why, but Jasper and Emmett looked more nervous than usual before watching me walk out on the set of Jay Leno. Normally I would've asked point blank what was wrong, but right now I was in no mood to care.

I was supposed to have the night off and I was pissed that Alice dragged me here for this appearance at the last minute. She was adamant that I needed to attend even though I argued with her the entire way there.

"Come on Edward…its Jay Leno. He's really funny…you guys have the same sense of humor…he always makes you laugh…" Alice thrust her hand out, trying to offer me a bottle of water. We were sitting in the back of the limousine she booked for tonight. That was another thing that threw me off, we never went anywhere in a limo unless it was awards night.

When I refused the water, Jasper leaned forward in his seat and reached for it readily, this was odd because Jasper always preferred a cold beer over water anytime.

"What is this appearance for anyways?" I slouched down in the soft leather, trying to adjust my belt buckle that was digging into my skin. "We're not debuting anything…I don't even have a new single in the works…"

"Uh…yeah well…" Alice half mumbled her words making me turn my head towards her, "But Jay called…you don't turn down Jay when he calls…"

All of it should have raised red flags, but I'd been living in a fog these last few months, not caring or feeling anything unless I was singing on stage...my stage. That was the only time I felt alive…felt like Bella was with me. I'd gotten used to having that beautiful face gracing the big screen behind me during my concerts. At first, it used to torture me…fill my heart with unbearable stabbing pain. Now, it's what kept me alive…the only way I could see her…feel her around me, and it was all that I lived for…my concerts, and being on my stage.

Unless I was out there singing, where I knew a little piece of Bella was with me, I wanted no part in anything else. I refused the guest appearance to play with Tim McGraw when he filmed his summer special…and when we happened to be in New York, I politely declined Mick Jagger's invitation to play my guitar at Madison Square Garden with the Rolling Stones, much to Jasper's outrage. I thought Jasper and Emmett would never talk to me again after that.

When Alice announced I had an appearance on Jay Leno's show, with no warning, and less than two hours to get ready…yeah, I was pissed, but my will to fight was gone, so while I was not happy about it, and fussed the entire way, I let Alice dress me up and got in the limo with about as much joy as attending a funeral.

I'd been on Jay's show before so everything was familiar to me…the green room, backstage crew…

The audience's cheers sounded nice as I walked out on the set. I even managed a smile and small wave as I made my way over to Jay's desk.

"Hottest man in country music…Edward Cullen, ladies and gentlemen…" Jay shook my hand and offered me a seat.

"Great to see you again." I settled in my chair, getting comfortable. I always enjoyed chatting with Jay, Alice was right; we had the same sense of humor.

"I hear your tour's on fire my man…sold out Los Angeles in fifteen minutes…I didn't have a chance to get tickets…got me in trouble with the wife!" The crowd chuckled at Jay's words and his friendly tone put me at ease right away.

"How many times have I told you Sir…you just need to call me up…or better yet, you and Mavis should come over for dinner sometime…" I tipped my hat at him with a wink.

"If I did that, I wouldn't be able to get Mavis to leave…" Jay joked, getting the audience to giggle again. "In fact she's bouncing off the walls; along with all the other women in here I'm sure, to see your new video…"

"My what?" I turned my head sharply in his direction, positive I heard wrong.

"Don't start getting modest on me now cowboy…you've been keeping thousands of women swooning with those videos, we're honored you're letting us premiere your latest one…"

I just stared at him dumbfounded. What the fuck was he talking about? He kept grinning at me; going on about screaming women and video premieres…apparently he must have mixed me up with another guest he was expecting tonight.

"Uh…I'm sorry..." His words were making the room spin; I just shook my head at him, "My what?"

Jay thought I was still joking with him; he just laughed out loud and waved his hand in the air dismissing my confusion, turning his attention to his audience, his voice full of merriment, "He must have fallen off his horse ladies and gentlemen, pay no mind to his pathetic attempts to divert us from what we all want to see…"

I could hear the whirring of this big white screen being lowered down over by the far end of the stage…the lights dimming a little bit…and it seemed like every head in the audience turned away from Jay and me, and over across the stage all at the same time…I kept blinking, trying to shake the surprise from my face…I didn't know what this was all about but my heart was racing all the same…it felt surreal…

"I have to tell you Edward," Jay's words sounded so far away, but they jerked me to attention, "I had a little peek of this one earlier in the day when I got to work…this is the best one yet. And your co-star…I don't where you found her but she makes sweet and innocent the sexiest thing I've ever seen…"

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

It was hard to imagine now that there ever was a time when my life held so much excitement. Most of my days consisted of getting up…going to work…then going home. I rarely talked to anyone anymore…rarely went out. Sometimes I had to force myself to go to the grocery store to stock up on more food when my cupboards got bare.

Today was no different. Once I walked through the door after work, I tossed on my favorite faded sweat pants and oversized tee. I plopped myself down on my sofa, my big flannel blanket in one hand and a few magazines in the other. I flipped through them absentmindedly, looking at the pictures and reading a few articles about the lives of famous celebrities. I used to scoff at the stories back in the day, the ones claiming such and such actor was cheating on his wife or girlfriend. I always suspected they were just rumors…vicious made up stories so the magazine would sell.

Now I knew better…

It was already dark outside when I finally got up. I never bothered to make dinner anymore…a bowl of cereal or soup usually was dinner for me nowadays. I poured myself a bowl of cereal…I'd lost fifteen pounds since that fateful day in Arizona. I know it looked terrible on me…you could see the hollow on my cheeks and my arms and legs were stick thin…

But I didn't care, didn't care about much anymore, not even myself.

I grabbed the remote off the sofa cushion next to me and began scrolling through the channels…nothing captured my interest, but I kept pressing that channel button anyways, knowing I needed to leave it on something that would take my mind away…or else it would drift…dangerously wander back to him…

And the hurt would start all over again…

That was the one thing I wouldn't let my mind do…think of him…because if I did, the feelings and memories would swallow me whole…crush and destroy me more than I already was…

The colors all blurred and blended together as I pushed my finger down harder on the remote making all the channels fly past crazily, it matched the chaos I created in my mind. I tried to shake it, make myself calm down.

All I really wanted to do now was curl myself into a ball on the sofa and close my eyes…but I wasn't sleepy and I knew the memories would flood me then. I stared stubbornly at the remote, telling myself that the next channel it landed on…I would leave it there, no matter what was playing.

The lively music of the Tonight Show filled my small living room and Jay Leno's smiling face graced my screen. I felt instant relief, knowing his funny jokes and witty conversation would spare me at least an hour from the prison in my mind.

His opening monologue actually made me chuckle, and by the time the first commercial aired I had a smile on my face and was actually eating.

"My next guest has nineteen number one's, five CMA's and the fastest sell out tour this summer…please welcome the hottest man in country music…Edward Cullen, ladies and gentlemen…"

And there he was…smiling and waving as he moved across the stage. It all happened so fast I didn't have time to react. My hands froze, holding my bowl in midair. I could feel my heart start racing…my breathing more rapid. Yet I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen.

He still looked beautiful…breathtakingly beautiful…shaking Jays hand…making a few funny jokes in that adorable southern accent. He settled comfortably in his chair, crossing his legs and adjusting his hat at the same time.

I just sat there, mesmerized all over again, and finding it hard to believe that I knew this gorgeous man so intimately and just the same, he was a stranger.

My hands started shaking then, and I put my bowl down by my feet. My stomach was already doing these crazy flip flops, and when Edward smiled at the camera again, my heart jumped.

My ears finally began paying attention to their conversation, and once I realized why Edward was there…on that show…my world tilted once again. He was there to show his new video…the video I wasn't in…

"We're honored you're letting us premier it…" Jay was chuckling because Edward truly looked bewildered, glancing around him, those green eyes shaded with confusion.

Despite my heavy breathing and spinning head, I focused harder on him…or tried to…all I could see was Edward lean forward in his chair, his eyes blinking rapidly as he turned to Jay. I could hear his voice; it was choppy and full of anxiety… "I'm sorry…my what?" he asked, but Jay didn't answer him…the television was already fading out…the image of Edward and Jay turning a hazy grey until the screen finally went white.

I could feel the cereal coming back up my throat; I was so full of anxiety and dread. I was going to see who he picked to replace me…who the new girl would be.

I wasn't breathing…my hand went straight up to cover my mouth. I should've been running for the bathroom then, but my heart wouldn't let me move. My eyes were glued to the screen as I waited…waited to see her.

It started out with Edward sitting on a wooden crate, his guitar in hand. I could tell, from the background, that he was where we filmed our first video_, Broken_. My heart lurched again from the familiarity of it all, throbbing with hurt that he was using this…a place that we shared together, to premiere a video with another girl in it…

There was no music…nothing…he was just looking down at his guitar…studying his hands quietly, until finally he played a few random chords, they were light and beautiful…made you want to hear more. But he stopped abruptly, looking up sharply…not so much at the camera, but at someone past the camera…almost as if he didn't even know the camera was there…as if he didn't know he was being filmed.

His expression changed…those serious green eyes suddenly lit up and his face broke into a brilliant smile. The camera moved…leaving that beautiful face. It slowly panned across some colorful flowers…a grass field…making everyone watching it wonder what Edward was smiling about…

And then you could see…what made him smile…what was making those eyes twinkle with affection.

It was _me_.

I was sitting in the middle of the grass. My head was down, my hair falling over my shoulders as my fingers grazed across the tiny green strands.

The shock of seeing myself there made me suck in my breath, the need for the bathroom forgotten. I could feel the half sob, half choking noise escape my throat, and I could only sit there in disbelief. I just kept staring at the screen, feeling as though my heart would burst out of my body as I watched.

The music started then…somewhere far off in the background. My ears half expected to hear_ Broken_…I mean that's where we were…when we filmed _Broken_.

But a new melody danced through the room. It was light…acoustic…just the guitar and Edward's hauntingly, beautiful voice. It filled my entire soul…it was so full of emotion, deep and drawn out…you could hear a longing tremor in his accent with every word he sang.

The camera didn't show him singing…it kept flashing these random images…keeping me completely glued to the screen.

Edward's voice rose and fell…he filled the room with the most beautiful music I had ever heard.

I could feel my breathing start to get choppy…kept watching those pictures flash across my television…

I don't know how they did all this…how they got it on film…everything I was seeing wasn't taken from our videos, wasn't anything that we rehearsed, it was just these ordinary moments that happened when we thought no one was watching.

It tore a gasp and sob from deep inside me, because that video showed everything. I saw how he would turn and look at me every few seconds whenever my hair and makeup were being done…saw the look in his eyes when he reached for my hand for the first time on the _Shine_ video set, saw him singing to me at his concert in Vegas…

I swore every time I saw those green eyes, they weren't lying…they were filled with joy…and happiness…

And love…

Each picture told a story, and listening to the lyrics, it was a story of a man in love…in love with a woman who wasn't his…who would never be his…

When I saw the last frame…the last picture…that's when I couldn't hold the tears inside anymore…

Because we were both sitting on a swinging bench, you could see him; half slouched down, his face turned up to me, his eyes bright and his hand pointing at the clouds in the sky. But it was the look on my face…it showed me what I knew all along…I wasn't looking up at the sky, or laughing, or even grinning…I was looking down at him with just a hint of a smile, my hands resting in my lap.

It was the look in my eyes. It didn't matter that you couldn't tell what we were saying to each other…you didn't have to hear it because you could see it…you could feel it…clear as day. My eyes spoke volumes…they were wide and round, full of pride and love...and they were completely focused…on him.

Nothing else around me mattered…

Nothing else…except him…

I watched through a blur of tears the screen change again, going back to Jay and Edward. Jay was trying to talk, but the audience was just going nuts…screaming and cheering. The camera kept going back and forth from the excited crowd, to Jay's chuckling face, to Edward's…

Instead of looking pleased…proud of the reaction his video just received, he looked stunned…completely stunned.

He wasn't even looking at Jay, just staring blindly across the set, his body frozen, his eyes full of grief…

Without even realizing it, I was leaning forward, tilting my head in wonder…

His expression completely matched mine…it was almost as if he'd just watched this for the first time…just like me…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

Ninety seconds…

That's how much time passed from when the video ended and Jay cut to commercial. They first thirty were filled with screams and cheers from his audience. They loved it…it captured them…made them feel something…

I just sat there in shock.

Complete utter shock.

I don't know who had been filming every free second of me and Bella off set. I don't know how they managed to capture every feeling…every emotion…the chemistry that just sparkled between us.

And the song.

I only sang it in completion in my room at the back of my tour bus…and only a few times…

I had no idea I sounded like that when I sang it. You could literally feel the despair in it…the intense longing it held.

My heart was aching…and it traveled like fire, consuming me faster than I could recover.

Jay could tell something was off. He let the audience continue to cheer, clapping along with them, casting a worried glance in my direction.

When the noise finally died down he chatted nonstop, mostly to the camera and audience about the video and how they could download the song on Itunes. He finally cut to commercial, and when the green camera light turned red, he leaned closer to me, his hand reaching out and patting my arm.

"You okay buddy?"

I just gave him a blank stare in return…my heart was pounding too hard to let me reply…and the grief, it began to overwhelm me…

"You look a little pale…let's get you out of here okay buddy? Hang on…" Jay rose from his chair and made it look like he was just walking me off the set, his hand hovering under my bent elbow; he was really genuinely concerned and made sure one of his backstage crew walked the rest of the way with me to the green room.

They all looked guilty.

Every single one of them.

Alice…Jasper…Emmett…

And as soon as I saw their expressions I very quickly figured it out.

"How did you do it? How'd you get the song?" My voice didn't hold anger…I was still swirling in emotion from watching that video…from feeling everything all over again.

Alice stepped towards me, her guilty look quickly changing to concern, but it was Emmett who spoke first.

"We kinda stumbled upon it…I saw the lyrics for it in your book…you dropped it on the plane and I kept it…"

Jasper nodded, rising from his seat, "I accidently heard you sing it, it was the middle of night…I couldn't sleep…you were singing…all by yourself, on the bus…"

"The song is really beautiful Edward…too beautiful not to share it…"Alice finally found her voice, her eyes flashed with consideration, and she chose her words carefully, "with her…"

All the grief and pent up emotions just exploded from me then…did they really think I didn't want to share anything with her? Fuck…I wanted to share _my life_ with her…

"She's probably not even watching this…" I couldn't bear to let hope in, "And if she were, I'm sure she doesn't give a damn about it…or me…"

Alice's eyes grew wide at my words, "How can you say that? Couldn't you see her? Didn't you see her face on that screen? How she looks at you…" her voice trailed off in frustration.

"Yeah I could see it…the whole fucking world could see it…but what your sneaky little cameras didn't see was the look in her eyes when I let her go…I failed her…just like everyone else in my fucking life…I failed her…" And I really believed it. There was no way she would ever look at me again, the way she did in those videos. I let her down…

Alice let out this little humph sound at my words, she spun around looking at Emmett and Jasper in exasperation before turning to me, "I've never been able to figure out why men are so dense…what's it going to take Edward, for you to realize what you need to do. It's obvious to everyone in this room…to everyone who just watched that video. If you say you failed her, it's only because you failed yourself!" She threw up her hands in defeat, turning away from me, "You've got two weeks to figure out what you're going to say her when you see her face to face. The label is designing a cover for this single and they want her on it. I've already sent her the agenda and the tickets…"

* * *

><p>I didn't know how I was going to handle it. My entire being was on the edge, anticipating seeing her again, but I was dreading it at the same time. She must hate me…she had to hate me. I discarded her like a used toy…never bothered to check on her…see if she was okay.<p>

At first I thought she would turn Alice down…refuse to fly out. I kept waiting for Alice to announce that the cover would be made without Bella on it, but Alice stayed quiet, not mentioning Bella's name in front of me at all.

_She Ain't Mine_…that fucking single haunted me. Everything about it tortured me. It hit number one in days and tauntingly held its place there. The song played a million times a day on the radio, and the video tried to match that number equally on television. I cursed Jasper and Emmett in my head constantly for naming it that. I blamed the name for not being grammatically correct…a lot of country singles had names grammatically incorrect, I never done it before…

Honestly…I hated the reality of it, that despite the bad grammar, the name was a perfect match…and the fact that so many people were listening to my raw feelings and watching them on screen. I hated that I couldn't hide from it…couldn't deny it from myself anymore. It was everything I ever held inside of me spread out for all to see…shoved all my failures right in my face.

"She sees the video differently…" Emmett been sitting quietly across from me on our bus, he hadn't said much after that Tonight Show taping, but right now he looked like he could see the struggle inside my head.

My eyes shot up to his, "Who does?" But I already knew what he was talking about.

"You know who…" Emmett never beat around the bush, "Miss Bella. She sees the video differently than you do…I'm sure of it…"

"What makes you so sure?" I tried to keep the eagerness out of my voice, but I desperately wanted to know what she might be thinking…even if it wasn't really from her.

"Because just like every video she's ever made with you, she sees life as this wonderful, delicate thing…and she sees you as a man who is capable of changing the world…"

I just scoffed at his words, turning my head to look out the window. We were almost in Wisconsin…I was scheduled to perform for their annual Country Thunder event they held every year. This is where Bella was supposed to be as well…where we were going to shoot the cover for the single.

"Jasper and I can't forgive ourselves…" Emmett leaned forward in his seat, and my head snapped back towards him at his words, "We've always known Tanya was a mistake…we should have tried to stop you from marrying her…"

He was serious, but I was tired…tired of going round this same old thing… "I wasn't a little kid…I was a grown man who made a decision." I shrugged my shoulders at him, dismissing his words.

"You made a decision without all the facts. I should have told you. I told Jasper, but I never told you…"

"Told me what?" Now he had my full attention, "What did you tell Jasper?"

Emmett hesitated for a just a second, his eyes briefly losing hold on mine, before looking right at me, "A few months after you started dating Tanya, I don't know, it was right after you got engaged, we were still on tour, opening for Rascal Flatts'…I think you invited her out there that night to watch or something, she was there. We were supposed to go on in less than thirty minutes, and you were out talking to the audio guy, your earpiece wasn't working right…she came in…to our room…I was the only one in there. She was being nice at first, telling me how much she liked our music, how much fun she was having…"

He paused then…and I could already feel it…already knew what was coming...

Em gave out a little sigh and shook his head, "She tried to kiss me…throw herself on my lap…told me she much rather be with me than you…invited me back to her hotel room when the concert was over. I blew her off Edward…told her no. She just laughed at me, said I shouldn't be so loyal to you…and that it didn't matter what she did...you were going to marry her anyways…

I didn't say anything, tried not to let anymore hurt in…just stared at Em, my expression emotionless.

"I wanted to tell you…I told Jasper that same night. We both tried to corner you but she wouldn't leave you alone. I should have just blurted it out…right in front of her. I didn't though…because every time I saw you smiling at her, I thought that you were finally really happy, and I thought about everything you gave up in high school for us…how hard it was for you to find someone. It wasn't until we met Miss Bella that I realized how wrong I was…"

I couldn't even answer him. All that came out of my throat was this soft choking sound. Emmett leaned forward in his chair, his eyes more serious than I ever seen them.

"You've never loved Tanya, whatever it was that you two had, that wasn't love. But Miss Bella…you could see it instantly…almost from the day you met her…the way you act…alive and unafraid. We all see it in you. But what I think you don't realize…because of everything that has been in the way since the beginning…is that she looks at you the exact same way. Husband or no husband, I know she loves you…but she won't ever let you know…because first, you took away her choice to tell you…and then, you just let her go…"

Em eyed me sadly one last time before getting up and heading for the front of the bus…we were rolling into town now…it wouldn't be long before we pulled into the hotel.

"I'm aware this might be the last time we see her…Alice had to pull quite a few strings to get this cover off the ground…there won't be anyone here to get in your way…and there will probably never be another reason for her to come back…"

He didn't come right out and say it, but I knew what he meant. I stayed in the bus that night for a long time…alone in the parking lot. Just sat there by the window and looked out into all that darkness…all that black emptiness…trying to make sense of Em's words…trying to make sense of my life…

Neither seemed easy to do…

Sometime later, when there were no more cars going in and out of the parking lot, and the lamps outside the building had dimmed, I finally got down from my bus. Alice hadn't informed me of anything yet; my best guess was that Bella would be arriving in the morning. I decided a good night's sleep and a hot shower would help me face her easier.

I let myself in through the back entrance. It was the employee entrance, and since it was after hours the hallways were dark. No one would see me. I made my way past the laundry machines and a couple of broken vending machines, still trying to put my thoughts into place.

I knew the elevators were on the other side of the desk clerk, but she probably wouldn't notice me because I could hear her voice; a late arriving guest was keeping her busy.

I pulled my ball cap down low on forehead and started to make my way across behind the desk clerk.

I didn't even step outside the darkness. I could hear it…I could hear _her_…and she sounded determined…almost angry. But that voice…it still did it to me…turn me inside out, put my heart on my sleeve.

I started to listen to her. The desk clerk was going on and on about me…the band…the videos…praising and insulting me at the same time…

I could hear the frustration in Bella's voice…the way it rose and fell…until finally she had enough, and it rose to even a higher pitch.

That's when I could hear her defend me…praise me…despite everything I'd done to her, she was still protecting my name…protecting me…

I gripped the wall dizzily…half believing that my ears were playing tricks on me…thinking that if I peeked around that wall she wouldn't even be standing there…

My body was moving without permission, moving out of the darkness…past the wall that was hiding me so well.

She looked up then, as if she knew all along I was standing there. I could feel the shock making my bones stiffen…feel my eyes grow wide as they met hers.

I couldn't move. I wanted to move…wanted to reach out and touch her to see if she was really there…say something to her to make her smile, because right now she wasn't smiling.

I didn't even have a chance to blink. She moved past me so fast, nothing from her expression showed that she saw me…I almost wondered if she did.

The only thing I could hear after that was the small ring of the elevator doors opening…and then silence.

Loud…deafening…silence…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Right up until two hours before the flight was to take off; I had my mind set on not going.

I didn't tell anyone, not that there was anyone to tell. The polite thing would be to call Alice and kindly decline the invitation and ticket to Wisconsin. There was nothing in the envelope besides some kind of agenda for some photo shoot and a plane ticket.

It was cold and formal. No hint of Edward…no warmth at all.

There wasn't even an explanation of song or video to _She Ain't Mine_, not that I expected one.

I honestly didn't think I could ever come face to face with Edward Cullen ever again. My heart simply couldn't take that kind of torment any longer.

So I tucked the envelope away at the bottom of my kitchen drawer, underneath all the hand towels and tried to forget about it.

Still…as every day passed, I could feel it calling to me…playing with my emotions, causing these torturous dreams to fall over me at night. Dreams where Edward was always smiling and holding me close…where his kisses trailed over the most sensitive areas of my body, down my neck…inside my thighs. His hands were always warm and gentle…caressing my cheek…closing over my breasts…

I wouldn't let him use me that way again. Use my heart that way again.

I tried to avoid that drawer in my kitchen the day of the flight but it was unavoidable…testing me at every turn…urging me to pack a bag and head for the airport. The flight didn't leave for hours yet, I still had the entire morning and most of the afternoon to fight the temptation. It prompted me to tie on my running shoes and grab my house key; maybe going for a long walk would do me some good.

And it did for the first twenty minutes. I made my way down to the local park, there was a track next to it, and it was always filled with children and adults enjoying the sunshine and getting in some daily exercise.

I didn't run the track, merely walked it, keeping a steady pace as I watched some children play on the nearby playground equipment. My eyes traveled from one child to the next, each of them happy…each of them with a bright future ahead. I could feel myself blinking back the tears. A bright future ahead…

That would never be me.

I tore my eyes away as quickly as I could, trying to breathe at the same time. Tried not to let everything overwhelm me. I was stronger now…I knew that.

Still…nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.

In the midst of trying to pull myself together I nearly stumbled over a couple jogging towards me. I struggled to focus on them and apologize for the near collision, taking a few short breaths to regain my breathing.

"Excuse me…" The woman and I spoke to each other at the same time, moving politely away from each other as we passed. It was the man's voice that made us all stop.

"Bella?"

I recognized Jake's voice instantly. It jolted me from my thoughts and stopped me cold in my tracks. I looked up into Jake's face. He was breathing heavily from jogging, looking down at me, a slight frown on his face.

"Oh! Jake. Hi." I was at loss for words; the shock of being face to face with Jake threw me.

"I didn't know you came out here." His features softened but his voice stayed steady. I could only nod and finally glance at his running partner.

"I don't usually…" I quickly looked back into Jake's face, "Just today…" my voice trailed off.

"This is Charlotte." He nodded at his partner and gave her a small smile, "She's a great runner…" Charlotte shot Jake a happy grin and smiled politely at me. It took Jake another second before he tore his gaze from her, "Charlotte, this is my ex-wife Isabella."

Something happened there…some part of the past that was wrapped around me got set free. A lot of the guilt and regret…all the pain I knew I was the cause of…I could see it unravel…float away like a ribbon in a breeze.

We didn't exchange any further conversation…I didn't learn anything else about Charlotte, but my heart was telling me I didn't destroy Jake…his life was moving on…he had a bright future ahead, just like all those children out there.

I was the only one standing in my own way…holding myself back…and I knew that if I wanted to move on…have a future, I would have to come to terms with my past. I would have to forgive myself, and forgive Edward. He had already said goodbye to me, now it was my turn to say goodbye to him…

* * *

><p>The hotel was eerily quiet when I arrived. Everything was dark outside, and there was only one person behind the desk, a young woman who looked bored until she saw me. When I mentioned my name, her eyes grew wide with awe and she quickly gushed how Edward Cullen was her favorite singer and how great his videos were.<p>

"His band checked in a couple of hours ago, but he hasn't arrived yet. Do you know if he'll be arriving soon?" She was telling me all this as if I were someone important, as if I knew all the answers…little did she know I knew just as much as she did at this point.

"Uh…no, I'm sorry, I haven't been in contact with Mr. Cullen lately, but I'm sure he'll arrive soon." I gave her a polite smile and tried not to snatch the key card out of her hand.

"I hope we get to see you both together…are you here to film something new?" She wouldn't let that key card go, and I thought for sure we were going to get into some kind of tug o war over it.

"No, I'm not aware of anything new. I'm here simply for a photo shoot…" I kept telling myself it wouldn't look good if I got into a fight with the desk girl…she wasn't doing anything wrong but her voice was annoying me…

"You're so lucky. You get to see him all the time. Is he a nice guy in real life? He seems like a nice guy, but sometimes it's all a joke…and they turn out to be jerks…"

Now that did it…I yanked the key card from her hands, thankful the large wooden desk was between us, "He's one of the sweetest men I've ever met. He's more than nice, and if more people were like him, this world would be a lot more pleasant…"

I would have said more…I was ready to say more, but that's when I saw him there. He was halfway hidden behind the turn of the dark hallway, the outline of his broad shoulders making shadows on the wall behind him. His green eyes were wide and round as they watched me and I could see his fingers gripping the corner of the wall frame with so much force his knuckles were nearly white.

I could feel my hands start to shake, my voice lost in a trail of nonsense jibberish.

He was looking at me as if he saw a ghost, and I wasn't ready to face him yet…still tumbling from annoyance the desk girl had ignited in me.

I just swallowed hard, tearing my eyes away from his, and looked down at the key card in my hand.

The desk girl was still trying to be helpful, "Your room is on the top floor…the elevator is to your right…"

Her words were enough to push me onward, and I gripped that key card harder and walked right past him…walked pass the darkness he was hidden in and headed for the elevators. I kept waiting to hear his voice, my ears strained to make out that pretty accent…but there was nothing…nothing but the soft ding of the arriving elevator and the quiet humming of the doors opening for me.

I stepped inside, slowly turning myself around…trying to ignore the cry my heart was making…trying to shut out the wish that he would magically appear in front of those still open doors and come inside with me.

But he didn't.

The doors closed with a soft whoosh and I found myself alone, rising to the top floor not knowing what to expect next…

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><p><strong>If you're still with me drop me a review. You can find me sparingly on facebook under Mbellafanfic. Much love to you all!<strong>

**XOXO**

**MBella**


	21. Your Side of the Bed

**Here I am! I know I have been quiet lately. Not by my choice though. I get to tell you a little about my real life. I was offered a long term position ( I am a substitute teacher...I know...yawn!) at my little town's school. I will be working full time until December. It has really cut into my writing time. I'm not going to stop writing but I have to ask you to have a little more patience with me (I know you all already have a ton of patience with me) and I apologize in advance if I disappear for weeks at a time.**

**I love you all and I hope you will stick with me through this. I really love writing this story and hate to lose any of you.**

**With that said, let's get onto the good stuff!**

**Song of the day: Your Side of the Bed by Little Big Town**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, I own all the country goodness...**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

"She'll be down in ten minutes…" Alice wouldn't look at me; she kept her eyes fixed on the clipboard she was holding with both hands.

I didn't bother to answer her. I couldn't anyways, my mouth was so dry and my throat felt like it had cotton in it. I just shoved my hands in my jean pockets and wandered over to one of the several picture windows, looking out into this pretty botanical garden the hotel featured.

Everything was lush and green, dotted with spots of color from the exotic flowers and plants nestled around it. It did nothing to brighten my mood; my mind was spinning in all different directions at the moment…fear…hope…

I spent the entire night lying in bed starring at the ceiling. Wondering what she was doing in the next room…wondering if she was thinking of me at all.

Every time I thought about how things ended with her it would make me cringe…make me die a little inside…I treated her so badly…

Yet still…I wanted to see her. I wish she knew she still filled my entire soul…what I still carried with me nestled at the bottom of my pocket…I took it everywhere…to remind me, sometimes bringing it out and watching it glisten and sparkle under the lights…

She still affected me the same way…made my blood rush through my veins, and my heart ache. I desperately wanted to look in her eyes and make sure she was okay; even though I knew I had no right to anymore…

I wondered how her husband was handling her being here this time? I told Seth to stop keeping track of him…and her…once they left Arizona, but I had the nagging feeling that he didn't listen to me. He didn't talk to me about them after that…there were no more updates…no more quick phone calls letting me know where she was, if her husband was on a run…

There were times in the studio when it looked like he wanted to say something to me…tell me something new. I would catch him watching me…studying me…but still, he remained quiet.

I even tried to engage him in conversation once…talk to him about our families…hoping he would volunteer some information. He muttered a few sentences about how his family was doing well, but before I could ask about Bella, he excused himself quickly from the room.

"You doing okay?" Emmett's words pulled me away from my daydreams and I turned slightly, meeting his eyes.

"Think so…" I still had my hands shoved in my pockets, mostly to hide the shaking.

"It's just a photo shoot Eddie…try to relax." Emmett placed his hand on my shoulder but I was looking past him…already undone…

My gaze was no longer fixed on Emmett; it was frozen…watching the vision over near the doorway. The pounding of my heart made my eyes blur, and through the haze…the chaos in my mind…there she was…walking into the room as beautiful as ever, her hair flowing around her shoulders as her eyes scanned the room quickly. She spotted Alice first and smiled, heading straight over to her.

I watched them hug each other tightly. Alice began chatting a mile a minute, keeping Bella occupied, ushering her over to the opposite corner of where I was standing.

I tried to turn away…pretend I was doing something else…pretend I was talking to Emmett, but my fucking eyes wouldn't tear themselves away from her presence…

I was glued to my spot…frozen in place. The only thing that was moving was my heart, beating with racing speed, making me feel out of breath.

I can't tell you how bad I wanted to go to her…break free of that frozen fear and spin her around to face me…fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness. I wanted to ask her how her life was these last few months, and tell her how empty mine felt…hollow…vacant…

Instead, I just kept looking at her…

She looked thinner somehow…and much more withdrawn. There was a small smile on her face as she nodded and listened to Alice, yet it didn't look genuine…it was guarded…very carefully guarded.

Her eyes briefly met mine when Alice was interrupted by one of the camera crew. She turned her face upward in my direction, those brown eyes blinking at me twice before tearing away and looking back at Alice. She could probably feel my gaze burning into her, and in my wishful thoughts I hoped she could feel my emotions too.

Her look alone sent my blood coursing through my body at a much faster pace. Sent little tingles of apprehension and impatience down my spine, and it was all I could do not to push Emmett out of my way and head over to her.

"Give her a minute to adjust…" Emmett seemed to read my mind, and his arm shot out, his fingers closing over my wrist and pulling me back. "Let Alice make her comfortable…come on, let's go out back here."

And without letting me go, he dragged me past the glass windows and out the double doors to the garden…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I told myself I wouldn't look at him. Wouldn't glance, even for one second, in his direction.

Of course that lasted all of one minute once I stepped into the convention room. I really don't know if it was a convention room at all, the hotel clerk was the one who called it that. This room looked more like a movie studio at the moment with huge white umbrella lights in nearly every corner, and this wooden platform sitting right in the center of the room.

One man was holding a camera with the biggest lens attached to it; I'd never seen a lens that big before, he was chatting with another cameraman who was holding a large black bag with even a bigger camera inside of it.

There seemed to be no shortage of cameras. Two other cameras were sitting on tripods angled at the platform. I glanced around me warily, sincerely hoping they were not secretly filming this encounter because I was almost positive they weren't going to like what they saw…

Before walking into the room, I repeated over and over to myself not to look at him, to seek out Alice and head straight for her. I even said it under my breath as I pushed open the doors…

It was all for naught. Once my heart knew it was standing in the same room with him, it fought and struggled…forced my eyes to scan the room quickly until they found him.

Fortunate for me, Alice came into my sight before Edward did, so I forced my body to walk towards her, all while still trying to search for him…

I _felt_ him before I saw him. Alice grabbed me in a bear hug, chattering about how excited she was to see me again. She went on and on about the photo shoot…how we were going to style my hair and makeup…the dress I was going to wear. She even told me she had a new pair of boots for me…

But I wasn't really listening to her. I was still fighting to stay in control. I could feel him…his gaze. It burned through me like fire…tingling across the back of my neck and down my spine. I knew he was watching me, and it was taking every once of restraint not to turn my head and look back at him.

"Ok, so let's head over to the room in the back. It's supposed to be for storage, but today we are using it like a dressing room…" Alice reached for my hand but we didn't have a chance to move, one of the cameramen interrupted her, asking her some questions about the set…and some other things I didn't understand.

It was only a few seconds but it was more than enough time for my heart to take control. My eyes traveled over the rest of the room quickly, seeking out where he standing by these big bold picture windows.

Those green eyes still looked the same. They still filled my entire being with want, and haunted me at the same time. I couldn't even breathe…he was watching me like I thought…

He didn't look away, stayed frozen in place, not breaking our gaze. It was me who broke it…forcing myself to blink and turn back to Alice. I had to keep reminding myself that this was the way he wanted things. This was the way he protected himself and his career. I might not be married anymore, but he still _was._ And that, I knew, was never going to change…

"Come on Bella, let's get you ready…" Alice was back to giving me her full attention. I could feel her fingers closing around my palm and I gave her a quick smile hoping she couldn't see all those emotions I was trying to hide.

We both turned slightly, heading for the makeshift dressing room, only my heart wasn't ready to give up yet, and I found myself glancing over my shoulder…back to Edward.

This time…those windows were empty…

It was the longest hour I ever spent in that dressing room. They stylist was going to try a new look, using her straightener to make my hair lay flat against my head. The only plus was Alice. She stayed by my side the entire time, keeping me entertained with her stories about Jasper and Emmett. She avoided mentioning Edward, I noticed. I wished I had the courage to ask her about him…how he was doing…but I guess bitter pride stood in the way of that.

When the stylist was done Alice was thrilled with the results, gushing over my hair and eye makeup in her enthusiastic voice. She pulled me towards the rack of clothes, "This dress is totally going to make your hair stand out. It's the perfect color to match those pretty brown eyes too…"

Of course Alice was right. The dress was a rich burgundy color, it made my skin look almost tan, my eyes glow, and my perfectly straight hair shone as it fell past my shoulders.

"I don't know how you do it Alice." It was the first real smile I felt all morning. I really liked what I saw in the mirror.

"It's a talent…I have a gift for picking out the right colors and the right outfit for any occasion." She joked, adjusting one of my straps at the same time. She admired me a little more before her expression changed from playful to serious… "He's really gonna like this outfit…he hasn't been the same, you know…since you left…"

She didn't have to say his name, or even finish her sentence; I knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Well…time has a way of changing things…" I think I was still in shock…my mind still tumbling from her words to make much sense of my own.

"Yeah it does…" Alice nodded her head at me…watching me…waiting to see if I would say anything else.

The anxiety hit me again with full force. I wanted to ask her a million questions about Edward…and tell her everything that changed in my life since I left, but my mind wouldn't tell my mouth to move…I could only stand there and wish with all my heart that things were different.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I didn't have any say so about this cover…or this shoot. It was all planned before I even stepped foot on Jay Leno's stage, so I stepped back into that room just as blind as I went in.

Alice and Bella were nowhere in sight when Emmett and I returned, and I took advantage of that, making a beeline for Jared, trying to find out what his plan was…

"Not now Ed…" Jared wasn't going to make this easy for me; he sounded annoyed…disappointed, "I have to go over the camera angles with the crew…we'll talk in a couple of minutes…"

I didn't like being brushed off…was about to throw a fit, when he turned back to me, his tone with just a hint of harshness… "Go get Sweet Pea…I haven't seen you say Hello or even Good Mornin' to her…what kind of manners is that Ed? Your Mama raised you up better…"

His words killed any fight that I might have felt, and I could only just watch him walk away from me…knowing he was right…

Taking a big gulp of air, I turned on my heel and headed straight for the door I knew Bella was behind. I may have broken us in two, but I didn't have to keep deepening the wound…I could still be polite…still be a gentleman towards her.

I didn't get a chance to knock at the door; it swung open the second I reached it, taking me by surprise.

We nearly collided.

Bella and I.

She pulled the door open and stepped out right as I reached for it, her startled gasp escaping her lips as she looked up at me all wide eyed and beautiful.

"Oh!" Her mouth opened, her voice was high, it matched the look on her face.

"Uh…I…" I was at loss for words at first…I was surprised as well, not to mention blown away at how gorgeous she looked.

Her hair framed her face beautifully…fell straight down all around her like a waterfall, making those eyes look like silver dollars, wide and round…and full of shock.

She just looked at me, once the surprise subsided, I could see the skepticism in her eyes…the mistrust…

"Bella…_Miss Bella_…" I fumbled with my words, not sure how to address her anymore, "I just wanted to thank you for coming…and wish you a good morning…"

It sounded weird…to my own ears…sounded all wrong…

She didn't answer, her eyes moved across my face as if she was trying to read me…whether or not to believe me…believe _in_ me…

"You're welcome."

That's all she said. I couldn't tell from her tone if she meant it…tell if she was angry or hurt. Her words were simple and flat, no emotion in them at all.

It frustrated me, because I knew I did this to her, lost all her trust in me. It's what pushed me to keep trying…keep looking for some type of feeling from her, "The cover…" I racked my brain for something to say to her…something neutral… "It shouldn't take too long to make. Won't take up too much of your time…" I wanted to ask her if she might want to sit and talk after that…just for a few minutes…

"I hope so." There was no mistaking her tone this time, "Because my plane leaves tonight…" She tore her eyes away from mine and brushed past me, her boots making this soft clicking noise as she made her way to the set.

I just stood there…tried not to let defeat wash over me. Alice lingered at the doorway for a couple of seconds, she heard our exchange, she didn't look at me but said, "It's going to take more than _Good Morning_ to make her forgive you…a hell of a lot more…"

* * *

><p>It felt like everyone was out to get me.<p>

The cameramen…Alice…even Jared.

The entire morning was torture.

I was this close to Bella. She was right here…right next to me, this living, breathing goddess, and she would not look at me.

Or talk to me.

Or even acknowledge that I was in the same room…that I even existed.

It didn't help that Jared actually wanted her to act that way. "You're in love with someone else Sweet Pea…not with Ed. I want to you to do everything in your power to make it look like you don't even know he's here, that he's in love with you…"

She would only look at him and nod. Her eyes never once met mine…never once glanced my way.

I could start to feel the tension in the room, maybe I was just imagining it, but it was beginning to make me feel desperate…and lonely.

I never realized how much I longed for her attention…her smile…her affection…

"Nothing matters in this world, Ed, except her. I want you to imagine that you have to spend the rest of your life without her…that the one woman you love, is gone, and all you have left…" he waved his hands over to my grey guitar propped up against a makeshift white picket fence, "Is that."

It was worse when I had to sing. We weren't even making a video, it was just supposed to be a picture for the cover of the single, but now Jared wanted me to sing…saying it would make it look more believable.

I was able to avoid singing that song out loud these last two weeks, but right now it seemed like that was all Jared wanted me to do. I couldn't at first…my words coming out all cracked and broken. It was so hard to sing all those things in front of Bella, wondering if she knew that every word to this song was about her…that she was the inspiration, the reason this song existed.

I had to do it over and over…my guitar in my hands, those notes swirling around the air…the only voice you could hear was mine. I fumbled and missed…choked on sounds and pronunciations…my fingers tripping over themselves against my guitar.

"What's the matter Ed?" Jared wasn't letting up, "Play it like it's meant to be played. Tell this woman how you feel about her…"

Even Alice was looking at me with sympathy in her eyes as I kept trying to play. I pushed on the guitar strings again, trying to clear my mind, trying to pretend that this was just another song…just another love song that didn't mean anything…

I fought with the frustration…the empty pit in my stomach…the hollow in my heart. I told myself she wasn't in the room…the room was empty…just like me. This was going to be the rest of my life…

But it didn't work.

I still messed it up. And the more I messed it up, the madder Jared got. I never once seen him get this mad, at least not until today.

"Why are you making this difficult Ed? We all have better things to do than wait for you to get it right…"

I could only stare at Jared in surprise, he never once talked to me that way, and I was finding it hard to believe that he was this upset over a song and a cover.

I guess Alice couldn't take it anymore and she stepped forward, "Jared, let's take five. Edward could use a break and Bella needs a quick touchup on her hair anyways…"

Jared turned his head to Alice and gave out a sigh, "Fine…fine…five minutes…"

Everyone moved around the set quickly, setting down their equipment and walking over to the coffee and other drinks we had. I just put my guitar down and hopped off the stage, sinking into one of the folding chairs in the corner.

I knew then I wasn't going to be able to go through with this. There was no way I was ever going to sing this song in front of anyone, much less her. I closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the stone wall of the building, trying to figure out a way to avoid the singing part.

A couple of seconds later Emmett settled down into the chair next to mine. "Fifteen hundred miles…" his voice was soft.

"What?" I opened my eyes and turned towards him in confusion.

"Fifteen hundred miles…that how far she flew to get here today. She flew fifteen hundred miles…just for you…" All he did was raise one eyebrow at me, letting his words sink in.

My eyes left his face and moved across the room to Bella. She was standing perfectly still while her stylist sprayed some sort of mist in her hair.

"She's not talking to me…" I didn't take my eyes off Bella; she was thanking the young girl holding the spray can.

"Well maybe she thinks she's done enough…flying all the way out here…maybe she's waiting for you to make an effort…" Emmett rose from his seat, leaving me alone again. I kept watching her…Alice chatted with her for a few seconds, but then she too moved away, going over to one of the cameramen.

What did I have to lose, I sighed, I already lost her…there was nothing left. So I rose from my chair, and with quick strides I made my way across the floor…

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><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

The lump in my throat never left. Not when I nearly bumped into Edward at the door of the dressing room, or when he wished me a good morning, or even when Jared practically yelled at him when he was trying to sing.

I was using willpower I didn't even know I had to avoid him, to keep my distance from him. And it didn't make it any easier listening to Edward fumble with his words, hear the breakdown in his voice, feel the discomfort in the room. I never heard him sing with so much trouble before and it tore at me, made me wonder what was making it so difficult for him.

I was grateful when Alice intervened, and even more relieved when she told me I had to wait right where I was standing for the hair stylist, I wouldn't have to mingle or make small talk with anyone.

I was telling Edward the truth about leaving tonight. My plane ticket was good for another two days, but I thought it would be best for both of us…_for me_…to get out of here as quickly as possible.

"Okay, your hair's perfect once again. I need to have one of the camera guys move, he keeps getting into view of our set. Give me a sec…" Alice was really going out of her way to keep me company, and I was so grateful for that, because I was acutely aware of the emptiness…the loneliness…that instantly fell over me when I was by myself.

I thought it would bring me closure…bring me even the tiniest sense of peace, coming out here. But in reality, all it did was remind me of the one man I could never have.

It was the most awful sense of alienation and heartache.

"Do you really have to leave tonight Miss Bella?"

My heart literally leaped at the sound of his voice. He was directly behind me…this close.

I spun around looking up at him. His hat was off, and his hair was a bit of a mess, some of it falling near his forehead.

"I…" I couldn't form any words…think of anything to say.

"Because if you think you might be able to stay, there's a country fest going on right now, and tonight, quite a few of us are going to preform. It's something you might enjoy, since you've come all this way…"

He was speaking carefully, I could tell because his accent always got thicker when he spoke carefully or got more serious.

I struggled internally in those seconds. I wanted to leap into his arms and tell him I would stay as long as he wanted me to. That going to a festival with him sounded heavenly.

"I…I don't think I can…" I was forcing myself to use my brain…let my brain lead.

He looked so somber then…and so defeated. There was no light to his eyes anymore…no smile or teasing grin. It was so hard to watch.

"Um…" He looked down and I could see his hands gripping his belt loops tightly, "It'll mean a lot to Alice…and the guys…if they could take you there…they haven't seen you in a while…they miss you…"

"I miss them too…" I had to pause or my voice was going to break, "But I don't belong here…I belong at home…"

He just nodded his head, still looking down, "I understand…"

"You have fun though…" I don't know why I kept talking, I guess I couldn't bare to hear all that pain in his voice, "I'm sure the audience will love you Edward…you'll do great."

His eyes shot up to me when I said that, "Yes Ma'am…" he said softly.

I probably would've said more…I was already sure my heart was taking over at the moment, but Jared decided right then that break time was up.

"Where's your hat Ed. Go grab it, stop wasting time." I couldn't figure out why Jared was acting so harsh towards Edward. He was the same sweet, perfect gentleman with me, yet his tone would instantly change to almost scolding whenever he spoke to Edward.

And Edward wouldn't say anything to him. He turned away from me and walked back over to his chair to grab his hat, adjusting it on his head before making his way to the stage.

"I've changed my mind." Jared suddenly announced, waving one hand through the air, "I decided we don't need the stage…or the guitar…" He looked over at Edward, who paused mid step at the sound of his voice, "Let's go out into that garden instead…"

* * *

><p>It was gorgeous.<p>

The garden.

Beautiful and wild…filled with so much color and scent. Every type of green leaf and colored flower mixed together like a fragrant rainbow.

We all walked behind Jared quietly. Even Alice was quiet, her eyes filled with apprehension as we made our way past the roses and blue violets.

It seemed that Jared knew where he was going because just as quickly as he started, he stopped.

"Right here." He pointed out a spot by this green leafy bush to one of the cameramen who moved quickly to his spot.

"You see that yellow flower dangling over there," Jared suddenly turned to me, "That there is a trumpet daffodil, my wife used to love those…you go stand there Sweet Pea…next to those daffodils." His voice got softer as he said that, kinder too.

"I want you Ed, to go stand to the right of Sweet Pea. Just stand there for a second, I need to see how this looks in the camera…"

Edward did as he was told, despite all the mixtures of scents of the different flowers, I could still smell him as he stood next to me…earthy, strong…and it immediately got my heart racing.

We both stood there awkwardly while Jared fiddled behind the camera. He was mumbling to himself as he worked, "She would always yell at me…mad as hades whenever I took home daffodils to her. Scold me and tell me they would die, not to cut them next time…but then, all I had to do was take one flower…just one…and put it behind her ear. Worked every time…"

We all stood there silently and listened…wondering what he was trying to tell us.

"So you take that flower Ed…just one, we don't need to cut more than we have to, and put it behind her ear. Make sure you face her…make it _count_ Ed…"

Jared motioned to the cameraman, and then back to Edward, who immediately turned to face me, looking past my shoulder to all the yellow flowers hanging behind me.

My body begin to tremble then…Edward's right hand shot out somewhere just above my head…I could tell when he found the flower he wanted, because before he even plucked it off the stem, his gaze was already back at me…his eyes were sincere and steady, looking deeply into my own. I could only stare up at him…mesmerized by his features and the look he was giving me.

I'm sure it took only seconds but it felt like forever, his hand sliding gently back towards my face. He didn't tuck the flower behind my ear right away…no…he brought it up, right near my temple…I could see the bright yellow out of the corner of my eye, and smell the sweet beautiful scent as I breathed. His eyes stayed locked to mine, darker…determined. It sent my mind spinning…my breathing jagged…

And just like that, I was back again…back inside that circle of love and warmth…that place that I only managed to find when I was with him.

I could feel the softness of the petals as he slowly caressed them down my cheek, the silky velvet floating down near my jaw, his warm breath falling over my lips in the softest of a whisper as he worked.

That flower made everything inside me feel alive…made me remember every touch…every stroke…every emotion. It tore a quiet shudder from my body as I felt his fingertips slide gently along my cheek and up towards my ear where his hand pushed back some of my hair as he tucked the flower into place.

He didn't move his hand away. He kept it there, brought his face down even closer than it already was.

We stayed frozen there…our eyes searching…seeking unfounded answers…trying to find our way back…

It was the soft whimper coming from Alice that broke the stillness…the silence…and Jared's smiling face suddenly came into our view, "That's what I'm talking about. I always told her, a woman as beautiful as her deserved to have at least one flower. Works every time…"

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I probably would have kissed her…and then maybe gotten slapped, I don't know. The look in her eyes was telling me everything I remembered…making me want to pull her into my arms…feel her next to me again.

Jared was rambling…something about flowers and beautiful women, I wasn't listening because I had the most beautiful woman standing right here in front of me, and I didn't want move from this spot.

"I don't know if I'm done yet…" Jared began talking again. The harshness was gone from his voice…this was the Jared I knew. "I don't want anyone to leave until I know we have what we need. Ya'll just enjoy the pretty scenery until I get back…"

It looked pretty obvious to me, what they were trying to accomplish when everyone around us scattered, including Alice who got pulled away by Jasper and Emmett. I glanced down at Bella, wondering if she noticed the almost comical disappearance they all quickly made, but she still looked like she was lost in a daydream, her head turned up towards the flowers.

"The yellow…" I had to force my voice to work, "Yellow…it looks good with your eyes…"

She turned to me sharply, blinking at my words. She didn't say anything to me, tore her gaze away and looked down around her.

"I think I might plant some of these…back at the house…" I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, trying for the life of me to figure out how to get her to talk, but all she did was give me a half nod, never meeting my eyes.

"I played a concert last week…" I tried to change the subject…a different approach, "It was a smaller place…reminded me of your hometown…" Her eyes snapped up to mine, they were wide almost defensive, "Alice…" I continued on quickly, not wanting to upset her, "Alice…she arranged to have a few fans meet me after the show…surprised the heck out of me when I walked backstage and there they were…"

"Oh…" She voice was soft, and those beautiful eyes showed just a hint of concern, "Were you okay?"

"Um…yeah, yeah…they were just a couple of kids…teens. They were excited…" I tried to shrug it off, but she knew…she could see it.

"Well that's good then…" I swore her voice changed, it floated around me, delicate and light, "Those kids…they don't really know how lucky they are…"

"Turns out they won some radio contest. We didn't know about it until after I was already on stage. Alice did the best she could…"

"Alice adores you…" There was a brightness to her eyes again, I didn't realize how much it affected me until I saw it again, "I don't think she would ever let anyone hurt you…"

"Well if she does it again tonight, as least I won't be so surprised…" I kept on talking, not wanting to lose that look in her eyes, the emotions I heard in her voice.

"Tonight?" She gave me a small frown, "Oh, you mean at the festival?"

"Yeah…those things get a little rowdy…" I didn't even realize how much closer we'd gotten to each other. Her body was right back next to me; her eyes looking up with so much worry…so much feeling, I don't think she was even aware of it.

"You'll be fine. You'll be okay. Alice will take care of it…and so will Jasper and Emmett…"

Her voice was already creating havoc in my heart…I rushed to find the right words to keep her there…to keep this going. "It's not the same…" it just tumbled out…it made no sense, but it was exactly what I meant.

"It is the same…" she sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than me, she tore her eyes away from me for a second before taking a quick breath, "Everything is the same, as it always was…"

But that was a lie.

Cause nothing was the same in my life anymore. The heartache I felt now was a thousand times worse than the heartache I felt before I met her. And my want for her was a million times more than it ever was…

I tried to be honest, "No, it's not…every time I walk out on stage…every time I sing in front of an audience…it's not the same. It's missing something..."

She just watched me carefully, a flutter of emotions flashing across that beautiful face.

"I know what it's missing…what_ I_ miss…" I threw out those words in a hurry, bringing myself even closer to her. I could see Jared and Alice making their way through some of the shorter flowers and bushes, "It'll mean a lot to me Miss Bella…if I could take you to the festival…" I tried to lower my voice, wishing I had more time with her, "I miss _you_…"

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I didn't have a chance to wonder where everyone disappeared to. I was still lost in the feelings Edward was awakening in me, I remember Jared telling us not to go anywhere…

But I guess no one listened to him because when I looked back into Edward's face, it was just us two.

And that voice…he started telling me stories in that deep southern voice. It just pulled at my heart, one syllable at a time.

At first I didn't know what he was trying to say to me, complementing my eyes, talking about planting flowers. My guard was up too high, nothing was getting past it, until he mentioned a concert, and how he was forced to meet fans of his.

I instantly saw it in his eyes. His old fear…the failure that he saw in himself, but what pulled me to him was that he was sharing it with me, telling me the story because he knew I understood.

It made me want to protect him all over again. And I tried to, the best way I could. Tried to take away the dismay I saw in those green eyes, the disappointment.

"It's not the same…" his voice was much lower now, and when did he get so close? I could smell his cologne, feel the heat his body was radiating…it made me dizzy, made me want to close my eyes.

"It is the same…" I was talking to myself really, trying to make myself believe this, "Everything is the same, as it always was…"

But I wasn't convincing…not to myself, and not to him. He shook his head at me telling me it wasn't true…his life wasn't the same…he was missing something…we both were missing something…

Maybe if he hadn't been so close to me, his next words wouldn't have affected me so much. But he was right here…his face only inches from mine, those green eyes pleading with me…

"I know what it's missing…what _I_ miss…" and just hearing him say it hurt so much, because I missed the same thing…I missed him.

"It'll mean a lot to me Miss Bella…if I could take you to the festival…" his voice was warm…husky…those green eyes never leaving my face, "I miss _you_…"

The room was spinning. I wanted to stretch my hand out and grab onto something to keep me steady, wanted to break the trance those eyes were holding me in…

All I could do was breathe…

"Will you come with me?" he was whispering in my ear, I could feel the scruff of his cheek teasing me as he talked. It played with my emotions…tortured me…

"Tell me you'll come with me…" He pleaded achingly, and that was all he said before Alice and Jared broke through the colorful flowers and bold green leaves…

* * *

><p><strong>Tell me...how long can you stand this? :D<strong>

**XOXO**

**MBella**


	22. I Can't Change the World

**Hi Ya'll! Happy Tuesday! Here's hoping this chapter makes your heart go boom boom. ;)**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own all the country goodness.**

**Song of the day: I Can't Change The World by my boyfriend Brad Paisley. :D**

**Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

The sun still peeked out behind the green hillsides, casting a hazy orange in the sky that mixed with the white fluffy clouds. A slight breeze blew across the crowd, but their screams and cheers still shot across the stadium, bold and impudent…

Country Thunder always attracts the rowdiest of folks…the beer drinkers…the skirt chasers…the not so innocent southern girls whose shorts showed too much and tops that came down to here…

Most of the time I would try to be one of the first acts to perform, that way I could get in and out in record time…start heading to the next venue…avoid the mess in the audience down below…

But this time I got the last slot…mostly because I forgot to tell Seth and Alice…was too heartsick to remember to remind them.

I literally felt ill. They wanted me to sing _She Ain't Mine_, and I already knew that would be impossible. If I wasn't able to get through it this morning, in a quiet setting, there would be no way I could get through it now in front of a bunch of screaming, drunken fans.

That alone sent my mind back to this morning. It made every fiber of my being hurt…throb with the ache of losing her all over again.

Nothing I said to her in the garden mattered…she still left…just shook her head at me and was gone…

"Tell me you'll come with me…" I begged her. I was lost in her…I could feel the softness of her skin against my cheek, smell her sweet perfume… I thought for sure she was going to say yes…tell me she would be here tonight, maybe for Alice's sake, if not mine.

But all she did was let out this tiny whimper…take a step back away from me. It was like a punch in the gut when she did that…tore the life right out of me. I was too choked up to say anything else to her, to tell her everything I was bottling up inside, and Jared and Alice showed up at that moment.

We didn't have to do anything else for Jared. He was happy with what he had. He dismissed all the cameras and told us we were free for the rest of the day. Only I didn't want to be free…being free would mean she would leave…

And that's exactly what she did.

"We're on let's go!" Jasper gave me a quick shove with his shoulder and burst his way out to the middle of the stage.

The crowd's roars grew louder, and I took a couple of reluctant steps out into the limelight.

My stomach turned and twisted with the first few glimpses of the drunken crowd. I tried to look past them…pretend they weren't there…that there wasn't girls spilling out of their tops stretching their hands out to me, or shirtless men with their beer flying crazily around their cups in their haste to get closer to the girls…but I could see it all, and it sickened me. How could I sing that song here? The song that showed everything I felt inside…every intimate part of me…it wasn't supposed to be shared with strangers…it was only supposed to be shared with _her_…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

"You don't have to go Bella…I know you don't." Alice watched me steadily as I threw the last of my clothes in my carry on.

"I can't stay…" the words got caught in my throat. I could still feel the warmth of Edward's skin next to mine, his breath on my ear…hear the want in his voice. It was too much for me, and I had to take a step back…try and put my heart rate in check. I knew I had to leave…this man was my weakness, and right now I needed to be strong.

"Please…please…just one more day? You don't have to stay for him…stay for _me_, I haven't talked to you for so long…we could hang out, do girl things together?" Alice moved around the room so that she was standing directly across from me. She sounded so sincere…and I did miss talking to her…

"You won't tell him?" I was considering it…staying…but only if I didn't have to face my temptation.

"I won't tell him, he won't know you're here." Alice's eyes lit up at my words, "I have to be backstage for his performance but I'll keep you well hidden, you can be in the audience…" Alice sounded far too excited about this, but to be honest, when she mentioned I could be in the audience, be able to watch Edward without him even knowing, it sent a little shiver of anticipation shoot through me.

I gave her a small smile and only a half nod but that was more than enough for her, she jumped right up, giving me a quick hug and turned to my carry on… "You don't need to be packed then…let's find something for you to wear…it's still warm enough for a dress but I think you'll be more comfortable in some capris or something…"

* * *

><p>The crowds were crazy. It was so loud and dusty out here, I couldn't even think straight. People were pushing and bumping into each other…there was guffawing laughter and high pitched screams…I just tried to stand very still, keep out of everyone's way, thankful I wasn't in a dress.<p>

Alice deposited me a few rows from the front, but more to the right side of the stage. It kept me out of center view where Edward mostly played, and it was easier for me to exit since the gates were over by that side.

It was weird at first, and uncomfortable standing there by myself. I felt out of place almost…a lone girl amidst throngs of people. I tried to relax and enjoy the music. The girls next to me shrieked loudly every time someone new came onstage, waving their hands in the air, their bodies swaying unsteadily from all the alcohol they were consuming.

I could feel myself inching away from them, trying to squeeze myself between the crowds. I wasn't enjoying it…didn't matter who stepped onto that stage, I just stood there and watched…and waited…

I would be lying if I told you I wasn't excited to see Edward preform. He was all I really wanted to see. I missed hearing him sing live, the way he would wave and smile to the crowd…that adorable, mischievous smile that made it look like he was up to something…the way his eyes always lit up so…

I saw Jasper first.

He bounded right out heading for the middle, the shrill of all the girls screaming made me want to cover my ears, but I was to preoccupied at the moment. I craned my neck, trying to see past Jasper…anxiously waiting for _his_ appearance…waiting for that gorgeous cowboy to set that stage on fire with his music…

Only it didn't happen that way…

Edward came out on stage…his steps halting and slow…

There was no smile…

No shine or light to his eyes…no crinkle of merriment…

There wasn't happiness…or excitement…or even the tiniest bit of satisfaction to his expression…

I had to concentrate…my head tilting to the side unknowingly. I studied him carefully my eyebrows furrowing together in confusion…because the only thing I could see on his face, and in his eyes…was fear…

His usual hop to his step was gone; he walked slowly across the stage, his eyes down, not greeting the audience with the wave of his hand, or yelling out hello through his microphone. When he reached the middle he kept turning his head over his shoulder to look at Emmett, or casting these worried glances to Jasper. It left me bewildered…made me push my way through two more screaming girls so I see him better. There was no denying his expression…his body language…and for the first time, I was really worried.

I knew he was scheduled to sing two songs tonight because Alice told me that back in my hotel room, she didn't know which two he was going to choose, he hadn't made up his mind, so I strained my ears to hear the beginning notes of the first number, and both he and Jasper began playing at the same time.

He sang _Shine_ first…the music was perfect, he hit all the right chords, his fingers flying over the guitar strings, but something still wasn't right. He kept his head tilted down…wouldn't look up, out into the audience, and when he opened his mouth to sing…his voice…it trembled and shook.

The people around me didn't seem to care. They still whooped and hollered…started dancing around to the music. I just stood still…I could feel my entire being stiffen in anxiety…I didn't take my eyes off of him…tried to figure out what was wrong.

The shakiness to his voice didn't fade, in fact the longer he sang, the more I could hear it…I could see him forcing his head up every now and then to look out into the masses of people, but his eyes would never meet anyone's gaze, and he would quickly snap it back down again. There was no mistaking the fear…I could actually feel it radiating off of him…and by the time he was done with _Shine_ I could feel myself on the edge of panic…something was very wrong…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

The last line of _Shine_…it sounded so bad I thought for sure I was going to throw up. I fumbled through it like one of those drunken men in the audience, you couldn't understand a word I was saying…fuck, I didn't even know if I was singing the right words…

I already made up my mind I was going to walk off that stage the second _Shine _was done…no way in hell was I going to even attempt to sing _She Ain't Mine_…no way I could get through it…

It didn't even look like the audience noticed…I could be up there reciting the alphabet for all they seemed to care. I forced my eyes to glance down there…see if I could find a little kid to focus on, or a nice old couple or something…but all I would see was fire red finger painted nails, or beer cups waving crazily on outstretched hands.

My feet had a mind of their own, they kept inching their way to the right…knowing backstage was only a couple of feet away…

I kept glancing behind me at Emmett who would give me an encouraging nod; or over at Jasper, who's puzzling stare only caused me to fret more. I could see Alice standing near the end, shaking her head no at me, using both hands to wave me back into the center.

But nothing was going to make me go back to the middle…nothing was going to make me sing another song. I really thought I was done…_for good_…

I hesitated…

Just stood there in the spotlight for a couple of seconds…torn between acknowledging the roar of the audience or flying off the stage.

The noise quieted down as I just stood there, I could feel every set of eyes on me. They all seemed to be waiting…waiting for the music to start up again…to begin the chaos all over again…

I was looking down at my boots…there was scuff on my left boot…they needed a good polishing…

I forced my eyes to move upward…make eye contact with a few in the front row. I saw a couple of bright pink lips…some blonde hair…a white muscle shirt...

My throat tightened and my breathing grew shallow. There were thousands and thousands of faces down there…yet not one of them really knew me…really cared…

I turned my head to look away…my feet were ready to hightail it out of there when a pair of wide brown eyes caught my own. They were filled with concern, looking up at me. My eyes searched her face quickly, my body frozen in disbelief…there was no mistaking that soft brown hair, still stick straight, glistening under the lights…those beautiful features…completely focused and tuned to me…

It stopped everything…the noise…the fear…even my breathing stopped.

It threw me back in time, made me remember when I first saw her standing out there in the middle of a crowd watching me. I had to fight this uncontrollable urge to toss my guitar to the side and jump down from the stage to reach her.

One of the crew moved my mic from the center of the stage over to where I was standing…someone brought out a stool, placing it by my hip. I just kept watching those eyes…praying she was really out there, wasn't just a figment of my imagination…

They were all waiting for me…

_She_ was waiting for me…

Her expression never changed…she didn't smile or frown…move her body in any way. She stayed completely still, wouldn't look away…kept that spellbinding gaze on me, giving me a strength I never knew existed…

With a pounding heart, I found myself lowering down onto the stool…moved my guitar strap over my shoulder…got closer to my mic…all while keeping my eyes on her…

Looking into those eyes sent waves of emotion coursing through my veins…filled me with a want so badly that out of their own accord my fingers began a soft strum over my guitar.

There were so many things I didn't get to say to her this morning…so many things I regretted not telling her…but I could do it now…I _wanted _to do it now…

My voice broke a little at first. I was still in shock from seeing her down there, but as the first few words of _She Ain't Mine_ tumbled out…I could see it in her eyes…something I missed seeing for so long…something I only ever saw from her…

I could tell she was listening, her lips parted and her eyes grew wider with every lyric. Her reaction made my voice stronger…filled it with more emotion. The words spilled out of me…it was everything I was feeling inside…everything I needed to say.

There was no mistaking the look in her eyes, the pride that made that beautiful face light up at my words. It's what fueled me to keep going…made me realize how much I missed it…how much I needed that from her.

She didn't tear her eyes away from my face, and I didn't dare look away, didn't even let myself blink for fear she would disappear. I didn't want to lose what I was seeing…so I kept telling her…through my song…through my voice…the hell I was living…

I told her all about the pain of loving her and knowing I couldn't have her. I sang about the sweet sound of her laugh, the brown color of her eyes…the warmth of her palm when I held her hand…

But mostly…I told her about the ache…the void that never went away. The hole I carried around in my heart.

And as my song continued, the noise of the crowd around me faded away. I could no longer hear the screams or cheers, or see the blur of drunken faces. All I could see was her…those beautiful eyes…the pride glowing all around her, delicate and luminous.

As long as I knew she was listening…I didn't want to stop singing…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I heard that song a million times on the radio, but this was the first time I ever actually _saw_ him sing it.

His entire being came to life singing that song.

I knew it was just wishful thinking but the second he lifted his head and looked out into the audience, I swore he was looking at me.

I knew that was impossible…he thought I was gone…back home by now. There was no way he could recognize me down here in this sea of cheering faces, no way I could stand out to him…

So knowing I was hidden, I could stand there and admire him all I wanted…study that handsome face, and look into those perfect green eyes. I didn't have to hide my emotions from showing, and that was good because his words nearly tore me apart.

Grief and pride filled my entire soul as I watched him. My heart pounded with every line he sang. I felt every word…every sound…and all of it seemed like it was meant just for me.

I forgot I was standing in the middle of a crowd…for those brief moments I was wrapped up in his song…listened to him pour his heart out on that stage. He sang about loving a woman who could never be his…

I could almost see myself in that song…got totally lost in it…because the girl he sang about had brown eyes like mine…and shoulder length hair…

Every setting he described…I remembered it, from the lake in his backyard, to the yellow wildflower field where we parked to eat ice cream. I remembered it all…every feeling…every touch…

His voice sounded so flawless now…filled with ache and longing…love and desire. I traveled the emotional journey with him as he sang, and even though I was overwhelmed with all those feelings, there was one feeling that never really left…one that I always carried around with me…

I was so proud of this man and everything he had accomplished. Proud of his generosity and kindness…his love for his bandmates and his children…of the man I knew he was inside…and always would be…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

As soon as the lights dimmed over the crowd and I couldn't see her anymore, I pushed back on my guitar, not bothering to say goodbye to the audience and scrambled backstage in my hurry to find her, figure out why she stayed…why she was out there.

"Where is she?" My voice sounded harsher than normal but I couldn't help it. The second I saw Alice; it was the first thing that came out of my mouth.

"What?" Alice wasn't even looking at me, and my words caused her to jump back in surprise.

"Bella. Where is she?" I had these long complicated sentences racing through my head, but my words would only come out choppy and desperate.

"Bella?" Alice's voice went high, "Bella must be back home by now…"

I narrowed my eyes at her, shaking my head. "She's not home…I saw her…she was out there." I half pointed behind me, indicating back towards the audience.

"Huh?" Alice frowned at me, "What are you talking about?"

I decided to ignore her, not sure if she was truly puzzled or trying to hide something, I just brushed past her, yanking my hat off my head and quickening my pace to my dressing room. If I could change quick enough, I could head down into that audience…find her myself…

"Edward…" Alice hastily followed behind me, "What are you doing? What are you talking about?"

"Never mind. It's nothing." I tried to close my dressing room door on her, but she pushed back on it with one hand, shoving her foot in the doorway.

"It doesn't matter then…" Her fingers tapped on the doorway as she talked, "I have to get you on the bus anyways, there's no time for delays."

"I'm not going anywhere…not yet. I have to do something first. I'll find you back at the bus…give me an hour…" I didn't bother to try and close the door again; I just walked backwards into my room, throwing out empty words to Alice, all while trying to find my ball cap and shades…

"An hour?" Alice looked up at me with alarm, moving away from the door, "There's no way we can hang out here another hour without messing up our schedule."

I didn't answer her…she wasn't going to win this one. "Take my hat and jacket back to the bus will you? If I miss our ride I'll just fly down there…where are we going next?"

"That's crazy. And you can't fly…your pilot is already in New Mexico…I'm not going to make him fly all the way down here to pick you up because you missed your bus…"

I kept right on ignoring her, glancing quickly in the mirror before walking back out. My shades and cap would have to do the job tonight…no time to change anything else.

"Wait. Where are you going? You're not going back out there are you?" Alice scurried out behind me, reaching for the back of my arm.

I spun around quickly, looking down at her, my patience wearing thin, "She's out there Alice…I saw her…I have to find her…"

There was no denying the worry on Alice's face, she didn't loosen her grip on my arm either, "You can't go out there, it's still obvious who you are, you're wearing the same clothes you had on stage just five minutes ago…don't go out there Edward…"

I pulled away from her, leaving her behind, raising my hand as I walked away to let her know I heard her.

"Edward!" She kept shouting… "Edward wait! Don't go out there…they'll notice you…"

Her words were falling on deaf ears…I kept right on moving down the hallway…

"Wait Edward, stop. I have Bella, Edward! I know where Bella is…"

That's what finally made me stop. Made me freeze in my tracks and turn around.

"I didn't think you would see her down there…she's with me…" Alice took a couple of steps, her voice filled with defeat.

"Where is she?" My voice went low, impatience flowing through my entire body.

"She doesn't want to talk to you…I promised her she wouldn't have to see you…that she could just hide in the audience…that's the only way she would stay…" Alice shook her head at me, her eyes begging me to understand.

"Dammit Alice! Where is she!" I couldn't stop the words from escaping…I heard everything Alice was saying, I understood every word about Bella not wanting to talk to me, but none of it mattered. Something inside of me was telling me that if I could find her…just talk to her…it would make a difference…

"She's not out there anymore…she left through the side exit. She's over by my trailer…" Alice threw her hands in the air in defeat, "But I promised her Edward…are you sure you want to do this? I was hoping I could convince her to come to New Mexico with us…I know she has free time right now…"

But my fucking brain wouldn't take that into consideration. I needed to see her, and I needed to see her _now_…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I was having the hardest time getting my emotions back in check. In fact when Edward flew off the stage, I found myself leaving through the side exit just as quickly, somehow hoping we would bump into each other somewhere backstage.

But of course that didn't happen. I lingered by Alice's trailer for a few minutes, trying to calm myself down, trying to talk myself into believing that everything Edward sang out there on stage was not for me…he didn't even know I was listening.

The sun had already escaped behind the hills so everything was pretty dark. I leaned against the backside of the trailer letting the stillness fall over me. I wondered what Edward was doing right now? Probably sitting in his dressing room enjoying something cold to drink with Jasper and Emmett.

The images in my mind started to make me doubt that I should be out here…be here period…so when heard the scurrying of feet and low voices, it startled me.

I took a few seconds to focus in the darkness. My breath hitched when I realized it was Edward heading my way with Alice at his heels. They seemed to be arguing with one another, Alice had her hands in the air and there was a growl like quality to Edward's voice.

I quickly ducked behind the opposite side of the trailer, my back pressed up against the side wall, I tried to hold my breath so he wouldn't find me.

I could hear heavy footsteps as they entered the trailer…the door slamming behind them…

There was silence for a few seconds but then the commotion started all over again.

"Are you sure she knew this was where to find you?" Edward sounded upset…and worried.

"Yes, she knew…I even showed it to her. I don't know why she isn't here yet…" There was a panicky tone to Alice's voice, and slight relief.

"She probably got lost in the audience…it was a mob out there. It should be clearing out by now though…"

"Let's just wait here Edward. That crowd is drunk and out of control. Don't go out there Edward…just wait with me here…"

I frowned to myself listening quietly. It completely sounded like Edward was going to head out into the audience by himself…to find me?

"That's exactly why we need to find her. I can't believe you left her alone out there with those people…" Edward's voice was fading. He must be walking away from Alice…

"Come back…come on…let me at least call our security guys so they can spot check you…Edward? Edward?" There was a long silence and then a curt, "Fuck."

I moved slowly around the trailer, peeking out at first to see if anyone was still out there. I could see Alice standing by herself looking completely exasperated.

"Alice…" I whispered, moving around the trailer and into her view.

"Oh my god! Bella! I'm so glad you're okay. Where were you? Were you hiding?" The worry didn't leave Alice's eyes…she looked glad to see me, but there was still something else lingering.

"I was. I'm sorry. I panicked when I heard Edward…I wasn't sure what to do…" I gave her an apologetic look hoping she wouldn't be angry with me.

"I don't blame you…he can be so stubborn and persistent sometimes." She gave me a quick hug before releasing me and saying, "Now he's going to get mobbed. He wouldn't listen to me. This is his worst nightmare come true…"

I turned to Alice uncertainly, "He's going out there?" She just nodded and I could feel my heart start hammering at the thought. "Why is he going out there Alice?"

"To find you…"

I already guessed it, her words flew recklessly through my brain and heart, and I instantly turned around on my heel and headed for the crowd. I wouldn't let this happen to him…not because of me…

"Bella wait! Ugh! Not you too!" Alice was somewhere behind me, I could tell she was following me.

There were still lights blazing brightly all around the fairgrounds and the flood of people drinking and laughing was still going strong. I kept looking around me, trying to find him…trying to get to him before they could.

But there were just hordes of people everywhere…groups of them standing around, their beers spilling as they danced and flirted with one another. I kept looking for a sign, something that would stand out in that crowd to let me know where he might be.

I pushed my way through a circle of scantly clad older women, who called me a few names that should never pass a lady's lips. I just ignored them and kept moving, my eyes trying to scan over the heads of people taller than me.

The squealing is what caught my attention first. My head whipped around to see where it was coming from. I couldn't make out anything…there was just this mass of people all huddled tightly together, some trying to push their way into each other. It looked like chaos or some kind of fight, a few of the people passing by moved away, trying to avoid it.

But my gut told me I better check, and as soon as my eyes saw that familiar baseball cap, nothing could keep from getting to him.

He was immobile…no room to move. They surrounded him like vultures, grabbing at his arms…at his waist. They all had their phones and cameras out, trying to take pictures…screaming at him to notice them. Some of the girls were trying to touch his face, and when I finally focused on him, I could see the tension in his eyes and the apprehension that held his body stiff.

I literally had to push one girl to the side and use my shoulder to shove another out of the way as I fought my way to the center. There was a lot of protest against my movements but it didn't burden me nor thwart me from forcing my way to Edward.

His eyes were wide open; his jaw clenched tight, his hands were up near his chest as he tried to keep the girls at an arms length. It wasn't working though; some of them were hugging him, their arms wrapped tightly around his arms and shoulders…they wouldn't let go.

I wasn't sure what to do…how to make it stop. I just kept pushing my way through until I was standing right up next to him.

He wouldn't look at me…wouldn't look at anybody really. Just kept shifting those green eyes from here to there, avoiding making eye contact with anyone.

"Hi Cowboy!" I tried to use my brightest, friendliest voice to attract his attention, "Hey Edward!"

His head turned sharply at my words and his eyes locked to mine. His lips parted but he didn't say anything…he just stood there, his eyes watching me with nothing but fear in them.

I slid my arm through his; still smiling brilliantly at him, giving him a slight squeeze to let him know it would be okay.

By now the crowd was beginning to realize who I was…they were recognizing Edward Cullen's video girl. Some of the cameras began aiming at me…a few girls were asking for my autograph…

I used every ounce of energy and courage I had to entertain the crowd… to get them to shift their focus away from Edward.

I smiled and laughed…chatted with a few of them. Let a couple of them take their picture with me…all while holding onto Edward's arm, not letting him go…

Whenever someone got to close to him I would step forward, placing my body slightly in their way…tried to distract them with a smile or a compliment.

And it worked. Kept the crowd at bay. Some offered me their beers, some wanted to talk about my clothes, others just kept repeating over and over how cool this was.

Alice found us just as I was signing the fifth napkin of the night. She brought the security officers who quickly broke up the huddle and formed a barrier for us to walk back out of the grounds.

Alice led us to Edward's bus, she hurriedly ushered both of us inside, telling us she was locking us in until it was safe to leave. I moved around Edward, my hand still resting on his arm, and guided him over to one of the three sofas that seemed only to take up a tiny portion of the huge lounging area.

Edward still hadn't said a word; he sunk down into the sofa, lowering his head into his hands, covering his face.

"You're okay now…" I sat down next to him, gently touching his arm. Right now it didn't matter that I wasn't supposed to be here…or that he had caused me so much pain, all that mattered was making sure he was okay, that nothing bad happened to him.

He finally made a sound…a short grunting sound that made his shoulders jerk as he did it.

"You're on your bus…you're safe…" I kept trying to reassure him, moving my hand up around his shoulder and across his back, rubbing softly to soothe him. I could feel him take a few shuddering breaths, his head still in his hands.

"They weren't going to stop…" he mumbled, his voice sound distorted as it escaped through his fingers.

"They were just excited to see you…that's all…" I spoke in a hushed tone, still rubbing his shoulders lightly.

"They were loud…they were drunk…" his voice got a little stronger now, and I was glad to hear it.

"But they were happy. Happy to be able to meet you in person…" My explanation seemed to fall short…made me move my hand away from him.

"They don't know me. They don't know anything about me…" He finally looked up sharply into my eyes, his words harsh.

I just watched him, wishing I knew how to take his struggle away.

He studied me quietly for a minute and the hardness left his eyes, "Thank you, Miss Bella…for rescuing me…" his voice lowered with a sigh, "You didn't have to do that."

I gave him brief smile, "It's okay…you're welcome…" My nervousness was returning, he was looking at me in that all too familiar way…

"Alice told me not to go out there…I didn't listen to her…" He wouldn't take his eyes off mine, he sat up straighter, his hands clasped together in his lap.

"Alice is usually right…you should listen to her more…" I tried to smile a little brighter at him…tried not to get lost in those eyes again. The color was returning to his face and he actually gave out a brief chuckle at my words.

"I should listen to her more…" He agreed, his eyes crinkling, he leaned just a little bit closer to me, "Because when I don't…it just gets me into trouble…"

"Well I'm just glad I found you…glad I could help…" I was acutely aware of his closeness and the faster pace of my breathing.

"I thought you went home…" his head tilted to the side waiting for me to answer him.

"I was going to…go home I mean, but Alice came to talk to me…she convinced me to stay…promised me…" I quickly stopped before the next words slipped out.

"Promised you what?" I don't think he was looking in my eyes anymore…his gaze seemed to be focused on my lips…he seemed fascinated by them.

"Um…well nothing really…just promised me that we could hang out together…you know, girl time…" I was stuttering, he was way to close now, and for sure he was looking at my mouth.

"That's all?" I could feel his warm breath tease me, "She didn't promise you anything else?" His hand left his lap and slid up the smooth microfiber of the sofa, stopping right next to mine.

I could only half shake my head; my mind was sinking into him, my heart swimming at his nearness. I knew if I wanted to stay in control I better find Alice…and get off this bus. "Speaking of Alice…" my words came out all choppy and high pitched, "I better go find her…I mean…I need to find her…"

Before Edward could even blink, I stood up…holding onto the back of the sofa so my knees wouldn't give me away, "She's probably at her trailer…" I tried to smile but I'm sure I failed miserably…

It was at that second that everything went bizarre. Edward rose from his seat looking at me with confusion and alarm, he opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, the bus we were on gave out this steaming… hissing noise, then lurched forward sharply, throwing me directly into Edward's arms…

We both fell backwards…back onto the sofa. I landed on top him with a startled gasp and both his arms instantly wrapped themselves around my waist, clutching me to him.

"What the…" his words were cut off by another lurch and the phone hanging up near the white panel began ringing incessantly.

He sat us both up, keeping me from falling over again with his strong arms, trying to reach behind him for the phone. I reached out and gripped the armrest of the soft, I never been on his bus before, but it sure felt like it was going extremely fast.

"What the hell is going on?" Edward barked into the phone. He cocked his head to the side as he listened, his eyes only briefly meeting mine before shifting upward over my head. "Are you sure?" He asked, but his voice had changed…the outrage was gone, "How long?" and his accent was back, thicker and stronger than ever…

When he hung up he didn't say anything. Just placed the phone back on the wall and sat there quietly. You could hear the wheels rolling along the pavement, quick and steady…we were moving at an unwavering pace.

"What…what happened? Who was that?" I didn't lessen my grip on the armrest; in fact it only grew tighter at his next words.

"That was Alice…the driver had to make an unexpected exit…it looks like we're stuck here." He still hadn't looked me in the eyes; he paused, and then finally turned his head to me, "Until we reach New Mexico…"

* * *

><p><strong>I know you hate cliffhangers, but I love em! LOL Writing them, that is... Give me a shout out if you're still reading! <strong>

**XOXO**

**MBella**


	23. Don't Close Your Eyes

**Loving that I'm back again, yay! I missed ya!  
><strong>

**Take your time with this one...it's supposed to make you think...don't fly through it. **

**There's more to come...not that much more, but more... ;)**

**Okay, song of the day, it's a timeless country oldie: _Don't Close Your Eyes_ by Keith Whitley**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own all the country goodness you read here today. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I kept looking into those wide, round eyes. They still sparkled like diamonds, even when they were filled with fear.

Her hand gripped the back cushion of the sofa, her body stiff and straight. She didn't even blink, just watched me, all while taking these small, quick breaths…

It made me push back the anxiety of the evening…the chaos that invaded my brain when I went tearing out into the fairgrounds looking for her.

Now I know I could have stopped that bus right there. Make the driver turn around and take us back to the grounds, I knew that was the right thing to do…the right choice to make, but my life so far had been filled with so many wrong choices that this one was easy to make…

"She's just trying to keep us safe…" I was talking about Alice, not sure where to start, trying to meet her eyes. The thumping of my heart was making it hard for me to say anything else.

"Uh…" A small noise escaped her lips, she was still looking at me in disbelief, shaking her head in alarm, "I…I can't stay on this bus…I don't have any of my stuff…I don't have my phone…I don't have my clothes. I can't go anywhere…"

I nodded at her in agreement, tried to ease her panic, "I don't have anything either…I left all my stuff back in my dressing room. Alice is really good at that, I'm sure she will have all our stuff collected for us when we get there…"

Her eyes were full of doubt, and she slumped back into the sofa in defeat, turning her head away from me. Her hand flew up into that beautiful hair as she tried to sort things out in her mind.

I wanted to erase her apprehension…but I was having a hard time controlling my own uncertainty…how was I going to be able to restrain my heart with her sitting right next to me, knowing she wanted nothing to do with me anymore?

"It's part of her job," I'm sure I was just rambling, "To make sure we don't get hurt. This isn't the first time I've been locked up in my bus. I should be more careful, I know I make it harder than normal for her…I do things I shouldn't…"

Her head snapped up towards my face, tilting slightly, she was listening…I'd captured her interest…

"I acted like an ass tonight…got me…_us_ in trouble out there…I owe Alice an apology…and you too, Miss Bella…"

Her head shook slightly all on its own, and I could see the last of her fear fade away as we talked, "Me? What for?" Her voice came out soft and sweet. It was like music to my ears…I could hear the emotion…the concern…

"Alice told me you didn't want to see me…" I decided to be honest, "But I forced her to tell me where you were…it was…wrong of me…to do that her, and you…"

She moved back sharply, taking a deep breath. I caught her off guard; she didn't know that I knew.

She looked down into her lap quickly, her cheeks turning just a hint of pink, "I…I just didn't think it would be a good idea…that's all…I just wanted to finish the photo shoot and…go home…" Her words were quick and choppy; her eyes flew up to my face and then around the room as if she were looking for somewhere to hide.

"I completely understand. I know your husband's waiting for you to get back. This is just a job…" I tried tell her that I wouldn't cross any lines tonight…I wouldn't be the old Edward…

But all she did was frown at me, a little grimace streaking across her face. She didn't say anything to me, and I figured I was just angering her more. I tried to change the subject…not wanting this bus ride to feel endless, although I was beginning to get a nagging suspicion that it might be...

"My plane is in New Mexico. I'll have it ready to leave to second we get there. It'll take you back home, I promise…" I didn't want to say those words, it was so far from what my heart wanted.

But Bella just kept shaking her head at me; I don't think she was even listening.

"I shouldn't have let Alice convince me to stay…I don't know what I was thinking…I'm the one who should be sorry Edward…If it wasn't for me, none of this would have happened tonight…"

I could feel my body jerk to attention at her words…torn and hopeful at the same time. I didn't want her to think this was her fault…I knew it wasn't. But her tone was still soft and comforting…with just this hint of affection…it kept me spellbound, kept me wanting to hear more…

"So_ I_ apologize…I'm sorry you got dragged out into the middle of the fairgrounds…I should have left when I said I was going to…" Her eyes finally met mine again, and while her words were strong, there was a certain yearning to them…she stayed quiet for a second, I was ready to argue again, take the blame for everything, when she took this big breath, looking at me with those soft, sad eyes, "And I think I will take you up on your offer…the plane ride…" her voice trailed off, taking part of my heart with it.

"Of course…" You could hear the cracking of my voice, I was trying to hide it, but didn't do a good job at it, "And no need to apologize to me, you didn't force me to do anything I wouldn't do again in a second…"

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

It was killing me, entangling me in such a web of emotions. I kept hearing that accent mixed with sincerity and tenderness…and I was struggling to keep my own voice neutral.

I did blame myself for this one. It was my fault that he got caught in the middle of crazy down on the fairgrounds. I knew I wouldn't ever be able to erase from my mind, that look I saw on his face.

His words weren't making it any easier; it kept common sense and logic from taking control. So when he offered me a way out…a way I wouldn't have to stay there in New Mexico with him, I took it.

His body moved away from me after I accepted his plane ride home. His voice caught in his throat, and he half rose from the sofa.

"I uh…I usually spend my bus rides going over the concert tapes and tuning my guitars." He glanced around him quickly as he spoke, "But I didn't get a chance to pick up the tapes…or the guitars…"

I wasn't sure what he was getting at…what he was trying to say. I could tell he was uncomfortable…even hurt…it puzzled me…I just kept looking up at him…waiting…

He gave out a little sigh… "Would you like to see the bus, Miss Bella? I don't think you've ever been inside here before…"

His question startled me, that was the last thing I expected to hear, not knowing how to answer or what to do, I forced myself to stand up on wobbly legs and give him a slight nod.

We walked all the way to the back, he didn't say much. He didn't point out the kitchen area, or what I suspected was a shower. I got the impression he was trying to get rid of me. I followed silently behind him, my hands limp at my sides, trying not to read too much into his actions. I studied his backside as we kept walking, tried not to let my eyes go below that tan leather belt…

When we reached the only door near the end, he turned slightly and twisted the knob open. "There's only one bedroom here, you can use it if you get tired, I'll sleep on one of the sofas. The guys travel in our RV. It has three bedrooms, much bigger than this one…sometimes I travel with the guys instead of my bus…but there are times when it's better to be alone…"

The room was small, but magnificent all the same. Rich browns and reds…a touch of yellow here and there. There was a notebook on the bedside table, and a deck of playing cards. A pair of navy flannel pajama pants lay across the perfectly made up bed, and a small white towel hung on a brass hook over the door.

"It's very pretty…" I tried to smile up at him, but I'm sure it came out shaky and lopsided. Everything felt so intimate and inviting…I was surrounded entirely by him…

"Thank you…" Those green eyes of his met mine, he kept my gaze only for a second before tearing his eyes away, "There's a television behind those wooden doors there…" he pointed, "and a radio…"

I kept nodding, forcing my lips to turn upwards…making my eyes focus on anything besides those wide shoulders and strong arms.

"You can use anything in that closet if you don't want to sleep in your clothes…" There was a familiar gruffness in his voice; it was starting to shake my control.

"I appreciate it, thank you Edward…" That was all I could say without revealing what I was feeling inside.

"Yes Ma'am…" He took a step back, starting to pull the door closed behind him; he still wouldn't look at me, "I'll see you in the morning…"

And then he was gone.

I stood staring at that door for the next few minutes, trying to get my emotions in order…trying no to let his sudden coldness affect me, wondering what he was thinking about out there. Resisting the urge to open that door and go to him…or worse… invite him back in…

I let myself wander about the small room, trying not to be too nosy, but giving in to the urge to touch everything around me.

I opened the door to the closet, letting my fingers run along all the shirts hung neatly on their hangers. There were several pairs of jeans folded and bundled on the top shelf, and next to them were more flannel pajama bottoms along with some running shorts and tank tops.

Just because I could, I grabbed a white cotton tee from its hanger, clutching it between my hands, and turned back towards the bed. Like a drug I couldn't escape from, I peeled off my clothes and stepped into the soft flannel and oversized tee shirt. They were obviously too big for my frame, but I felt warm and cozy…almost like being wrapped up in his arms.

Settling down onto the bed, I reached for the remote control to the television, the notebook catching my eye again. Leaving the remote for later, I grabbed the notebook off the bed stand and opened it carefully. I expected to see songs…lyrics to something maybe he was working on, but it wasn't anything like that at all. It was more of a scrapbook…or a photo album…

It held lots of scribbles and pictures. I poured over the first page; fascinated with young boy I could see standing between what looked like his parents. The boy was grinning happily, and both parents had their arms around the back of his shoulders. Their happiness radiated off the page, making me smile. The warmth of the picture pulled at my heartstrings.

The second page showed three young teenage boys. They were standing in a garage, instruments strewn around at their feet. Large grins overtook their faces, and you could clearly make out Jasper's goofy stance and he tried to make bunny ears behind Emmett.

Lost in Edward's childhood, I flipped through page after page, sometimes giggling out loud at the boy's antics. I saw a few of Alice's and Jasper's wedding…a couple of poses that looked like professional shots of Edward and the guys with Rascal Flatts. Several concert photos.

And then, little by little, I could see it…the change in Edward's face. Gone was that beautiful, genuine grin…the happiness in his eyes. He no longer had his arm draped around behind Jasper's shoulder, or anyone's for that matter. His expression was flat, his eyes blank… the only time I could see a hint of life in those eyes again was when he was holding Collin, his son.

It puzzled me…made me wonder what had done this to him. What had made him this way? It was easy to see that his childhood had been happy, that he had parents who loved him…

I turned the page again, there were more pages after this one, but they were blank, this was the last one with a picture on it.

My hands slid down the page with a small gasp. The last picture caught me by surprise.

I could tell it was a random shot…nothing professional about it at all, it even had a slight blur to it, but I could see why he kept it. Why he liked it…

Because I was sitting on a stool, up on stage, my eyes all lit up, a happy smile spread across my face. My head was tilted, looking up at him in delight. He was holding his microphone in one hand, the other spread out in front of him. He was looking right at me, singing to me. His eyes twinkled, his face held a boisterous grin. His guitar hung between us by his shoulder strap.

There were a million tiny lights coming from behind us, all around our figures and floating up above our heads, they reflected off the big screen…part of the set. It made us look so tiny… just a small spec in a great big universe.

I found myself fighting back the tears, forcing my fingers to close the book and place it back exactly as I found it. Everything I kept seeing from him was mixing me up inside…filling me with doubt and undeniable longing.

Somehow thinking I could solve this…figure out what was missing from his life and reaffirming to myself that I wasn't it…that I meant nothing to him, I scooted off the bed and plucked open the door, forgetting that I was wearing his clothes…forgetting my resolve to stay away…

"You still awake?" It was a dumb thing to say really, I could see he was awake. Wide awake, all gorgeous and beautiful, sitting on that sofa, a television remote in his hand pointed directly to the screen.

He jumped so high at my words; the remote fell from his hand and rolled down near his feet as he jerked towards me.

He stuttered and mumbled a few unintelligible words, his eyes blinking sharply in surprise as he stared at me.

It dawned on me that I was wearing his clothes, and even though he had given me permission, I shuffled my feet awkwardly, "I hope you don't mind…" I tugged at the hem of my too big tee shirt, what the hell was I thinking coming out here?

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

She was a goddess in pajamas…my pajamas. She made a tee shirt and baggy flannel pants look sexy as hell, her hair pulled up into a messy ponytail. I could feel my crotch tighten just looking at her.

She twisted the ends of her shirt in her hands, moving one bare foot behind the other, "Watching television?" she asked in that soft, angelic voice.

I just nodded, hoping she didn't notice that despite the remote I had been holding in my hand, the TV screen was blank. "Just the news…it's over now…" I glanced down at the remote on the floor, not bothering to pick it up. My brain didn't have control over my body just yet.

"Can I sit down? Just for a minute?" She looked ready to bolt…complete opposite of what she was asking me.

"Of course…" I finally caught my breath again, and I motioned her to sit, "Is everything ok with the room? Do you need anything else?"

She gave me a small, shaky smile, "The room is fine…it's really nice…nice of you to let me borrow it…" her voice faltered, her fingers stroked the soft flannel of her pants absentmindedly… "I just wanted to ask you…well, a question…if you don't mind."

"Of course…" I found myself saying again, lowering myself down, trying not to grab the ends of the sofa too tightly, "I don't mind…"

"Did you…" She glanced away from me for a second, before letting those haunting brown eyes rest on mine again, "Did you always want to be a singer, Edward?"

Her question threw me off guard; I was expecting something more along the lines of how much longer our drive was going to be, or some random question about New Mexico…

"Me?" I was trying to shake the surprise, and figure out where this was coming from at the same time.

"Yes," she nodded at me, her eyes were serious, her voice low.

"Well…yeah…I guess. I mean after I got my grandfather's guitar and learned to play a few songs…yeah, sure…" I shrugged my shoulders, wondering if my answer would suffice.

"So when you were a little boy, you imagined a great big stage with thousands of people all cheering for you?" She leaned toward me, her voice growing a bit stronger.

"Uh…well no, not that…I just saw myself singing, is all…" My hand automatically reached up to fiddle with my baseball cap…my fingers gripping the rim nervously.

"You wanted to be a big star?" Her head tilted, her gaze noticing my fingers then resting again on my face.

"No." There was something about her voice that made me start traveling back in time, "Not a big star…When I was seventeen, Jasper, Emmett, and I entered a contest. I was really excited about it, convinced the guys for us to try out. But not because I wanted to sing in front of anybody…but because one of the rules was that we had to perform an original song…something we written ourselves. That's what made me excited…"

"Did you win?" She tilted her head, the corners of her mouth turned up all on their own.

"Yes Ma'am, we did…" I smiled back at her, a little bit in awe on how a simple smile from her instantly brightened my day.

Her eyes lit up when I told her that, it made my smile get bigger even though I tried to stop it.

"Of course you did…your talent is unbelievable…" Her eyes stayed bright and beautiful as she kept talking, "I bet your parents were so proud."

"They were pretty happy. They let me fly to Nashville right after that. They come to my shows whenever I'm in West Virginia…" Once she got me talking about my family, I stopped trying to figure out why she was asking all these questions, felt myself relax as I told her the stories. "I try to visit my parents a couple times a year, and during the holidays. Christmas is my Mama's favorite holiday, so I try to make it out there for Christmas…"

"So they let you go to Nashville. What happened after that? What happened in Nashville?" She was still smiling, her voice never skipping a beat to my answers.

"A lot of stuff…it was like a hurricane at first. We recorded tons of songs for Seth…he kept trying to find the right one…the right flavor for us so to speak. We got to play at some clubs downtown…go see some great concerts and attend a few festivals. It was pretty cool…and fast…"

"When did it stop being cool?"

Her eyes held me captive…I was so lost in them, I found myself answering her without even thinking about it…"Right after we headlined our own concert…"

I never said this out loud, never even acknowledged it myself, yet telling her was easy. I _wanted_ to tell her, "I wasn't doing it for me anymore…I was doing it for them…all of them, and they depended on me…"

"You ever do anything for you anymore?"

"Hardly ever…"

She fell silent, studying my face, digesting my words. "If you could do anything…_just for you…_right now, what would you do?"

_I'd take you in my arms_, I thought to myself, looking back into those brown eyes_, kiss you long and hard…take you to my bed and ask you to forgive me… to stay here with me…ask you to leave him…_

"I don't know," I avoided her gaze, looking up past her while I lied, "Maybe watch a little racing…go out and do some fishing…hunting season will be here soon…"

"Uh hmm…" she could see right through me…I was sure of it, and I knew if those sweet brown eyes kept asking me questions, I would keep right on answering them…

"I know I've been blessed…" I tried to explain, "I have been given so many gifts, and am fortunate to be surrounded by so many talented and loving people…they're the ones who belong on stage…I don't want to sound like I hate it or anything. I like what I do, and I'm glad my friends are living their dreams…"

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

_But you aren't living yours…_

It made sense at that moment, at least to me. It also made me sad…made my throat tighten and my heart lurch.

He was wrong about one thing though. He _did_ belong on stage. Even if he didn't realize it, he had the ability to reach the hearts of thousands of people just by singing. He could take one platform, one microphone, one guitar…and create magic…pure, amazing, magic…

I didn't press him further. Wasn't sure of what to ask him next. I didn't want to go back into that little room and be alone again either…not yet.

"So what do _you_ do?" his voice broke through the silence, making me look back up at him. "That's just for you? I know you don't have _this_ problem…"

I suppressed the urge to chuckle sarcastically at him...how little he knew…

"I…I don't think I've done anything for me in a long, long time…" I struggled with facing the truth, and hiding from it all the same, "I told you once, I think…my fear of not knowing where I am, or what's going to happen next…it keeps me from trying anything new. Nothing new happens unless I'm forced into it…"

He was quiet…all we could hear were the tires of the bus moving endlessly over the pavement and the humming of the motor, fluid…faint…

"You got lost once? Right?" He reached up and scratched his jaw, rubbing his palm along that tantalizing jawline…

I nodded… "When I was seven years old…" my eyes hadn't torn themselves away from his hands. I wanted to push his hand away…replace it with mine… "It was my fault really…I was playing in the snow…somewhere out behind my house…making snowmen and such…my dad told me not to stay out after dark, but I was so engrossed in making everything just right, trying to create the perfect snowman, I didn't listen to him. When I got cold, and it was dark, I was finally ready to head back home, it dawned on me that everything looked the same, I didn't know which direction to head in."

I could tell he was imagining it…my story. His eyes were resting on my face but they weren't really looking at me…I kept going, not sure why I wanted to keep sharing this with him…I just did…

"Being seven, I didn't realize that I should've just sat tight and let them come to find me. I decided to try and make my way home. That was a big mistake. I lent up walking in the wrong direction, further out into all that darkness. All the trees looked alike…there was snow falling everywhere…I kept calling for my dad…hoping he would hear me…come find me…but he didn't. I was lost for about five hours…might not seem like much now, but for a seven year old out in the cold dark…it was more than enough…"

He frowned…not an angry frown, more of a sympathetic frown…and it sounded like his breath caught in his throat.

"I was just this curled up little mess in the snow when they found me. Crying my eyes out, thinking I wasn't ever going home…"

He exhaled sharply, his hand moving across the sofa between us. He stopped it before it reached me, "You must have been so scared…" he said softly.

"My dad told me there were about seventy-five people out looking for me that night. Seventy-five people…and it still took them five hours to find me. I shudder when I think about what would have happened if they hadn't…"

"I can't imagine them not finding you…or giving up on you…" His voice grew a little thicker with his words…serious...raw…"You don't give up on someone you love…"

"You don't?" I cocked my head to the side, losing myself in those green eyes. Just the way he talked…the way he sat, so serious, leaning into my every word…it just pulled me in…

"No you don't…especially someone like you…"

There was no denying that familiar want…it coursed through me like a million streams…whispering to me…promising me… "My parents didn't allow me to be by myself for a long time after that…" I almost whispered, half hoping he would come closer…

"I don't blame them…they didn't want to lose you again…" Now he was coming closer…I was sure of it. I could feel my heart start racing…my brain start buzzing, his voice wishful and warm.

"They made sure someone was always around to take care of me…" I was already rattled beyond sensibility…not paying much attention to what I was saying, "All through middle school they made sure it was Jessica…and then in high school it was…"

That's when everything stopped. My words, when I realized what I was about to say. The buzzing in my brain. The look in Edward's eyes. It all stopped. I saw it. That quick, startled look he gave me…the blinking of those aching green eyes…and the blankness that fell over them almost instantly…shielding him from me again. "I'm…I'm glad it all worked out…" He had to force those words out…choppy…tortured…

He was gone again. And this time I hated it…wanted his familiar, warm look back. I was determined to find it in him again…and bring it back out…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I was glad when our conversation shifted from me to her. I wouldn't have to answer any more questions. I was still shook up with my own revelation about not wanting to be a big singer…still reeling from hearing myself say that out loud. I never paid much attention to that little voice inside my head, at least not until tonight.

But as I listened to her story, it dawned on me how alike we were, and how different. I ached for that lost little seven-year-old girl…thinking that no one was looking for her…no one cared…I knew that feeling all too well…

I wished with my entire soul that I could have been out there…been the one to find her…never mind that I would've been seven myself at the time, that it was an impossible dream. Because if only…if only I found her first…

And it twisted and turned inside of me. Forced me to see how wrong my life was out there…and how right it was in here…

I just kept inching closer and closer to her, without thinking about it, or realizing it. Just kept hanging on to her every word…lost in her story…in her eyes…

I could tell when she let her guard down. When she opened herself up to me. I started feeling like her man again…like someone she connected with. At least up until she mentioned high school…

Because once those words were out of her mouth a whole new story played out in my mind. She didn't have to tell me this one…I already knew it. I could already see him entering her life. Making her feel safe. He was the one who rescued her…he changed her life…never left her alone. He never gave up on her…_I_ did…

I just couldn't quite understand why my life was turning out this way. Why this woman was sent to me, yet I couldn't have her. Why she kept making me feel like this was home, only I couldn't ever go there…

"I'm glad it all worked out…" What else could I say? That her husband threw me in a fucking jealous rage? That it sickened me when I prayed almost every night that he would find out what she'd done with me, and want to leave her? From the story she was telling me…being lost and alone…that would be her worst nightmare…

Something flashed in her eyes at my words. Her features changed, she looked almost defiant. "I don't know if you'd call it working out…"

It made me take a second look at her…try to read her face better. "What would you call it?"

She sat up straighter, a few ringlets of hair escaped her ponytail and fell around her face as she moved. "I'd call it…settling…"

And for some reason it made me feel like she was talking about me…

"I'm pretty sure I settled in a lot of areas in my life…" I confessed. That, I wouldn't deny.

Her breath seemed to leave her at my words; her fingers started tugging at her shirt again. She blinked rapidly, her voice tearful as she spoke, "Yeah, me too. But that's life, right? It's what we have to live with…"

I could see she was getting mentally tired; she pressed her eyes closed, and her chin lifted up, almost in despair, that alone instinctively made me want to take care of her…protect her. It had been such a long, hard day for her…for the both of us.

I reached down with my free hand and grabbed the remote off the floor. "Want to take a break from it?" I was serious, but my voice was teasing… "I won't tell, if you won't…"

Her head snapped back upright and she opened her eyes; she hesitated, watching me carefully at first. But then she smiled; "From life?" she asked…it sent relief flooding through me.

I nodded, letting a grin take over my face, "There's a gaming system attached to this TV…wanna hit a couple of targets, Miss Bella?"

"Like boxing?" Her head tilted to the side innocently, causing me to chuckle.

"I don't know how to box, sounds interesting though…I think some ducks or deer sound better…don't you?"

"Deer? You mean shooting them?" Her face scrunched up, feigning dismay, and I chuckled some more.

"I bet you're a natural…" I started pressing a few buttons on the remote, setting up the console to the right channel. The television came to life, throwing bright colors all around the darkened room.

She watched me fascinated as I talked her through the first few screens. Her face lost the worry and ache as she listened. I could feel my own heavy weight lift away as I settled comfortably next to her, handing her the extra game remote so that she could play with me.

* * *

><p>"I think you were lying to me…" I joked. We hadn't noticed the hours that passed, engrossed in a game that had taken a turn from friendly sparring, to a full blown challenge…<p>

She was winning…

No, I'm wrong.

She wasn't just winning.

She was kicking my ass…

She just giggled, waving her arm around in the air as she tried to level the make believe pistol to her target. "You made it sound like it was hard…" she joked, giving me a wink at the same time. I tried to pretend my heart hadn't felt that…

"It took me several seasons of hunting with my Granddad_ and_ my Dad before I could shoot like that…" I kept up our playful tone, shaking my head, "Only to have my ass handed to me on a platter by a girl…"

She just laughed some more…unaware that her shoulder was now brushing against mine…I felt it though… "Girls are just as good as boys…" she wrinkled her nose at me, "They're smarter…more polite…"

"Prettier…" I added, half cursing myself for flirting. I couldn't help it; her laugh always brought it out in me.

She giggled some more quietly and looked up at me, she didn't move her shoulder away. Her eyes shone a little bit as she watched me, then she looked back at the screen, "You ever teach anyone how to hunt?"

"Well I'm teaching you…on a screen, albeit, it looks like you should be teaching me. I haven't taught anyone in real life, no. I plan to take Collin out one day…when he's a little older…"

"Well thank you for teaching me Edward…" she smiled up at me again, "and thank you for letting me take a break from real life…"

"You don't have to thank me, Miss Bella…" I was trying to smile back at her, but every nerve in my body was urging me to lean down and kiss her, she was right there looking up at me…inviting me… "I'm in no hurry to get back…"

Her last giggle sounded more like a sigh, and she turned to look back at the television screen again.

It was nearly three in the morning when I could tell the game had lost her interest. Her eyelids drooped and she kept trying to suppress her yawns with her free hand.

"Why don't we call it a night Miss Bella, get some rest…" I was still wide-awake, not wanting to miss one second of my time with her.

"I'm not tired," she shook her head slowly, she hadn't shot at any of her targets in the last fifteen minutes, the game remote dangled loosely from her hand. Her feet were tucked underneath her, her body half twisted towards me as she leaned against the sofa.

"One more game?" I offered, ignoring the guilt, I should push her to get some sleep, not keep her up.

"Yes, one more…"

But she didn't play. She watched me for a few minutes as I aimed at the little yellow ducks on the screen. "Don't shoot the baby one…" she said sleepily…

"I won't…" I promised…feeling the warmth of her body as it relaxed and leaned closer into the sofa…closer to me…

Her breathing leveled out and her eyes fluttered close at the same time. I didn't move for several minutes…held the remote frozen in my hand, kept looking straight ahead. I liked her there next to me…didn't want her to wake up and leave.

When I was confident that she was sleeping peacefully, I carefully took the remote from her hand, putting it next to mine on the other side of the sofa. I switched off the TV; the only light in the room was coming from the two wall scones near the kitchen.

Behind the sofa, on the end table were two fleece blankets. I always kept them there on the imaginary chance that Collin might be here with me one day. Reaching behind me, I grabbed one of the blankets, draping it over Bella gently, then grabbed the other one, spreading it out around my lap and up near my shoulders.

I looked down at her one more time. The soft glow of the light floated and danced along her hair, casting these tiny sparkles of light across her cheeks. Her head was still turned up to me…in my direction…

Maybe our real lives weren't what we thought they'd turn out to be…and maybe we had both settled when we shouldn't have…but right now I was glad that I'd been able to break her free from it…even for just a little while…and glad that I had broken free too…

Tomorrow…we would face reality.

Tonight, she was mine…

I lowered my head down pressing my lips softly to her forehead…

"Goodnight, Beautiful…" I whispered, before closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep…

* * *

><p><strong>"So class, what did you learn today?" Said in my best teacher voice. :D <strong>

**I know what you all are waiting for...don't think I don't. Have I let you down so far? Do you actually think I would let that happen? ;)**

**Have a good night. Dream of Cowboys for me tonight will ya? **

**XOXO**

**MBella**


	24. The Dance

**Howdy! I like to sneak up on ya in the middle of nowhere! :D Hope ya'll are doing well. Take you time and enjoy the chapter...there aren't many more left. **

**I am eternally grateful for all of you who have suffered through sticking around with me and my infamous many delays between chapters. I never expected my real life to get as busy as it has, but I truly enjoy writing for you, and I want to continue doing that. I hope I don't let you guys down.**

**One more thing. To my "guest reviewer" (you know who you are) despite your long not so nice reviews, please know, I do like reading your thoughts, I understand the situation might make you "angry", but you see, it has evoked an emotion out of you...that's what writing is supposed to do! Don't feel you have to hide behind "guest" to write what you feel. I promise that I take all criticism and use it in effort to better my writing. It is when you feel nothing, that I have not done my job.**

**Thank you!**

**Song of the day: The Dance by Garth Brooks**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. I own the cute country cowboy. ;)**

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

The dry air swirled around me, forcing a harsh cough to escape my throat. Big, silent clouds of silvery white dust danced around my boots and traveled halfway to my knees as I stepped away from the bus. My hand shot up to my face, trying to hide from the blinding sun. The burning white sunshine made it impossible to look further than a few inches; it blazed through the air like a galloping horse, quick, solid and beautiful.

My body half turned to Bella, still trying to protect my eyes from the sun, and extended my hand to help her step off the bus. She reached for it, to my surprise, but then quickly pulled it away, letting her fingers close over the wobbly side rails instead.

It sent a shuddering pang of remorse shooting down my spine, I should be used to it by now…but I wasn't…I could feel the distance between us, and on that bus I finally realized why it was there. We were as physically close as two people could become, but we had never connected the dots emotionally. That became our downfall… the tear in our relationship…I could see it a whole lot better now. That still didn't take away the ache…or the longing, and I shoved it down somewhere inside of me, hoping it wouldn't show. Tried to pull my eyes away from Bella and focus on the people scattered around us. It was nearly impossible to do.

It looked like Alice was going to avoid us. She didn't turn our way as we walked past the bus and over to where most of the crew stood, she seemed absorbed in a conversation with a few of our audio guys. She probably thought I was going to chew her a new one, but I was actually grateful that she did what she did. It given me time to think…to take a good look at all the crazed directions my life had taken, both bad and good.

No one crowded me…tried to get my attention. We were standing in the middle of what looked like nowhere, yet they all kept their distance, engrossed in their imaginary discussions and problems that I knew didn't exist. I hadn't been briefed beforehand on the day's agenda. I knew my concert wasn't until tomorrow so I figured we wouldn't have rehearsal or anything like that until sometime later today. I half expected to see my plane somewhere out there in the middle of all that wide-open space…listened for it's gunning motor and high pitched whining. But there was nothing…just lots of low, hushed voices, and lots of white, swirling dust…

"Are we in the dessert?" Bella's soft voice came from behind me, she brought up her hand trying to see around her better.

"Sure looks like it…" I could hear my own confusion as I glanced down at her before looking back up for a crew member I could talk to, demand answers from.

"What are we doing here?" Her voice held as much curiosity as mine and without thinking about it I shrugged at her.

"I don't know Miss Bella…" I reached up and adjusted my ball cap, looking down into those eyes, knowing she deserved so many other answers besides this one, "But I'm going to find out…"

Before I could take one step, I could see Alice…her eyes finally shooting up in our direction. She took a quick breath before stepping out around one of our crew and making her way towards us.

Bella fell silently by my side. She hadn't moved away from me since we stepped off the bus. As corny as it sounds, I was glad she hadn't…it still made me feel like a man…like her man…even though I absolutely knew I wasn't.

"Edward…Bella…how are you guys? I'm sorry about the bus Bella, it was the only way to get you guys out of there…" Alice's voice started a mile a minute, then trailed off as if she didn't know what else to say. Her eyes held a hint of surprise since we both were listening to her intently instead of arguing with her.

"It's okay Alice, I understand. Do you have my things? I need to leave today…I mean, I'm supposed to leave today…" Bella's voice shook slightly.

"I have them…" Alice smiled quickly at her, then shot her eyes up to me, "I have yours too Edward. But you see…the thing is…" She wouldn't look at either of us anymore, her eyes shifted down to the ground. "Seth called me…kinda at the last minute…the plane had a couple of problems…it's not here. But even if it were, you can't leave Bella…Billboard magazine wants to do an interview…uhh…with both of you…"

I could see the change in Bella's eyes immediately. Her usual bright eyes went wide, and she took a half step back at Alice's words.

"I don't have time for an interview…" I cut Alice off. I wasn't in the mood for games today. "And neither does Miss Bella, I promised her she could use my plane to go home today. Where is my pilot?"

It bothered me, that no one told me about this interview and that they were trying to bully Bella into staying for it. It would make me break my promise to her, and I didn't want to do that.

"I know I told you that your plane was already here Edward, but that wasn't the truth…I_ thought_ it was here, but it turns out it's back home in Nashville, needed to be serviced or something and they found a couple of things they had to do to it. And you do have time for an interview, besides, it's right now…right over there…" Alice pointed.

Both Bella and I followed that pretty little finger, I could feel the frustration already festering inside me; neither of us had seen it because it sort of blended in with all the white sand and light. A large white canopy tent was set up past the buses and trailers. I just stared at it for a couple of minutes, and glanced back at Alice warily…this was more games…I knew it…and it was time to stop. "What is this for? Who set this up?" I asked point blank…

"Billboard and Seth set it up. They want to talk to you both since _She Ain't Mine_ is country's longest running number one for the year. It for an article, and it should actually be really good."

I kept staring at Alice, and arguing with myself at the same time. This was another set up…another trick. It might get me what I wanted today, but it would never get me what I wanted for the rest of my life, and I finally knew that…finally understood.

"Tell them I said no. It's not going to happen. I made a promise to Miss Bella and I intend to keep it." I shoved my hands into my jeans, and dug in my heels. I didn't want Bella to leave just as much as Alice didn't, but forcing her to stay wasn't going to change anything.

To my surprise Bella took a step towards Alice, her hand still shielding her face from the sun, "Alice, I can't do an interview, I've been in these same clothes…I know I don't look presentable…" Bella's voice shook again. I wasn't sure if it was anger from not being able to go home right away, or fear of having an interview. Maybe she was just plain tired of being with me…

Alice gave me a quick glance before turning back to Bella, "It's ok Bella, I made sure there was enough time to get the both of you freshened up before the interview. There are some outfits you can pick from in the dressing room. I guess that's only if Edward wants to do this…" her voice trailed off as her eyes darted to my face quickly.

Bella wouldn't look at me, she kept her eyes steadily on Alice, "I think Edward should do this…this is important for his record, right?…for his fans? I'll leave right after…it's not going to take long, is it?"

"It shouldn't take long…" Alice shook her head, but I interrupted her, frustration showing in my voice, before she could continue.

"You don't have to do it Miss Bella…the interview…I can do it by myself…I know you want to go home…" I moved myself in front of Bella, invading her view, forcing her to look up at me. Her eyes were already staring back at me…wide and beautiful…they never failed to look into my soul, touch places I managed to keep out of everyone else's reach.

"It's okay Edward," her voice was soft, and those pretty brown eyes wrapped my heart around them…"I don't mind. I'll leave right after…I promise."

Alice ushered her away before I could say anything else, turning back to me just to give me this "you idiot" look. But I was done with the games. There would be no more games from this point forward.

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

I was a wreck stepping off that bus. Really. I didn't want to leave it. Wanted to stay inside, with Edward.

You see, I couldn't shake the memory of waking up on that sofa, my head resting so peacefully on his shoulder, feeling his chest rise and fall as he slept next to me. I just stayed perfectly still, kept my eyes closed, and let the feelings this man ignited in me run free. I wanted to remember what it felt like to be close to him, feel his warmth, his strength. I kept imagining him waking up and turning to me, pulling me up over him, sliding my oversize tee shirt off my body and running his hands across my shoulders and down my breasts. I wanted to feel him inside me, and it was all I could do not to slide my arm across his chest and cling to him for dear life.

My body throbbed and my heart ached. This was such a wicked, wicked game we gambled with…

And we both lost.

But I let myself linger in it…surrounded myself with it…because I knew once this bus ride was over…that we were over. I wouldn't be coming back…not ever.

I didn't know if Alice was making it up that Edward's plane wasn't working, I didn't care really. My mindset was so intent on leaving that very minute, when she announced I couldn't leave I went blank for a second. I could tell Edward didn't want to do the interview, and he most definitely didn't want me there. That was clear.

That familiar overprotective Bella emerged only when I realized that this interview would probably be good for his career. It would be good for him. I shouldn't be the reason it didn't happen.

"Come on Bella, we only have an hour…I need to make sure our stylist is ready." Alice briefly touched my arm and urged me to start moving, making me take a few steps ahead of her. I didn't turn to look back at Edward; I hoped he wasn't to upset with me.

Alice spared no time in getting me all prettied up. She showed me a pretty yellow dress hanging over a dresser drawer, and these cute little flats that matched. She started with my hair first, making me sit on this big salon like chair, tilting my head back, using this big basin to wash my hair.

"We've known each other almost a year now Bella, you know that?" her voice was light as she worked. It was just the two of us. I didn't know where the stylist was.

"Yeah…doesn't seem like it though…" I smiled at her. It really didn't feel like almost a year…it felt like we'd known each other forever.

"So, can I be honest with you? I mean really _really_ honest?" She kept right on working, squirting some shampoo in her hands; her words made my heart start beating a little faster.

"Sure, of course…" I didn't know what else to say. I was actually curious to what she was getting at.

"You might not believe what I'm going to say, but I hope you do. Ever since you walked into our lives, from that very first day, you've changed every one of us. You made us feel like we were all family, that you belong with us, and we all love you…"

For some reason Alice's words brought a lump to my throat, her voice stayed steady, never wavered. "But the biggest change…the best change…was the one you created in Edward…"

That made me jerk. Stiffen in my chair. She pretended she didn't notice, her hands worked steadily along my scalp, but I know she did. She kept right on working, never missing a beat…

"I've known Edward a long time…way before he was a big star…and way before Tanya. He was this sweet, loyal, down to earth country boy. Plucked right out of the cornfields…full of manners and silly jokes. Everyone liked him right away…and boy could he sing. We did a lot of things to change him…and he let us, but the sweetness in him, that stayed…his loyalty, that never left…and his heart… well, he wore it on his sleeve most of the time, I can tell you that, but he never gave it away…not to Tanya, not to anyone. He liked her, I could tell, but he married her for us…because it was time for him to settle down…that was just one more way to catapult him to stardom. He stayed loyal to her, but not out of love. It was so our careers could keep thriving…even hers. And it haunted all of us, because we just stood there and let him do it, even though we knew he shouldn't have…"

I sat straight up in my chair shaking my head at her words, not caring that the water started dripping down my back. My trembling hands clenched the sides of the chair tightly, listening to everything Alice was saying. She reached for a towel and moved closer to my side so she could dry my hair.

"The guilt was awful, you know. We all found out Tanya was cheating on him before he did. We didn't know how to tell him, we stayed quiet for a long time. I watched him curl up in a ball on his bed and not want to get out of it for days. But it wasn't because his heart was broken…it was because he was so afraid he was letting us all down, he thought he failed us, when in reality, we failed him. In fact, I've never really seen his heart broken…until he lost you…"

I could hardly breathe. Alice's voice pierced my heart in the worst way, my brain buzzed at the incredulity of her words.

"I know you're divorced." Her words were quiet and simple. Final. "He doesn't know…but I know."

"How?" That was all I could whisper…nothing else would come out.

"Seth. Seth told me. Seth knows everything…all the time. It's his job to know about everyone who surrounds Edward. He's the one who knew Jake was heading into Phoenix…he knew when Tanya starting living with her producer…he knew when you got divorced. He won't tell Edward. Edward specifically told him not to update him about you anymore. Ever since that day in Phoenix when he came face to face with Jake, Edward thought he was destroying your life, and it tortured him. That's why he let you go Bella. He was being the same old Edward, putting absolutely everyone else first, before him…"

My head was in my hands, searing hot torment flowed through my veins.

"Do you remember when you went to his house?" She kept right on moving around me, dabbing a bit of hair cream in her hands and massaging it through my hair, still throwing my mind and heart around with her words, "He was so happy and so nervous that you were coming. He went out and got two new horses just because of you. That shocked us all, because when he first built his house, he already had horses, four of them, he rode Beauty all the time, but no one every touched the other three, so he gave them away." Alice reached behind her and grabbed a pretty pink comb; she started sliding it through my wet hair gently.

My head was still spinning…a million questions in my mind, but nothing was coming out. I could only sit there and listen.

"I know he hates the crowds. He loves the singing…the writing…but the people, I think they scare him, he's always careful around them. I can tell right before his concerts end, how he rushes to get off stage. He's always been like that…except the times when you're there…you bring something out in him…no, you bring out the best in him…and it shows…" Alice put her comb down and reached out, her fingers touching my wrist. "Come on…let's get you changed…"

My movements were tight and short as I followed Alice to wear the dress lay. There were so many things I wanted to ask her…to tell her…

"I promised him…" I didn't know where to start…how to explain, "I told him I would never get in the way…" My voice cracked, low and hollow. "Even now…he's still married…his career would suffer if they found out…I don't want to be responsible for that…"

"I know…" Alice soothed, turning away from me and picking up the dress, "But he's crazy to think he can do this without you…I was hoping the bus ride would help him figure that out…"

There wasn't any more time to talk after that. The stylist breezed in and finished up what Alice started. I just sat quietly in my chair trying to absorb everything Alice told me. I believed her this time…felt it in my heart that this was true, yet I still struggled internally with it.

I was still conflicted as I walked with Alice over to the white tent. She chatted about Billboard magazine, didn't talk about Edward anymore…she'd given me what she thought I needed to know…

It was hard not to try and search Edward's eyes…to look into all that green…look for the truth Alice had just told me. He was serious…talking quietly with the reporter. They both rose from their chairs when Alice and I approached them.

"Here's our beautiful star. Isabella Swan…" The young man grinned broadly at me, squeezing my hand tightly, and inviting me to sit down in the chair next to Edward.

My mind was a mess, I was just so acutely aware of Edward sitting next to me…of everything I'd just found out, that I shifted awkwardly in my seat, hoping I would find my voice so it wouldn't come out all squeaky and high.

"Miss Swan, it's obvious your sweetness and beauty have made men all over the world fall in love with you. What's you life like being Edward Cullen's main girl? How long have you been involved with country music?" The young reporter wasted no time directing his questions to me.

I just stared at him, searching his face, unsure if he was being genuine, and it took me several seconds before I could answer.

"I…I love country music…and my life has been so amazing… because of Edward…" I stumbled over my words, "He's been really wonderful to work with and I'm so grateful to him…" I hoped I made sense, and that my voice didn't shake.

He smiled at me, accepting my answer and turned to Edward, "Every song that had Miss Swan in the video has hit number one for you. Are you aware she's a hot commodity right now, and there are rumors about the line of offers she's going to have once she's out of your contract…"

Edward didn't look bothered by the question; he gave the reporter a tight, polite smile and nodded his head, acknowledging the reporters words but didn't offer any other type of response.

The reporter turned back to me, "If you think your life has been a whirlwind so far, just wait a couple more months…several stars have already voiced their interest, including mega hot Jason Aldean, and Florida Georgia Line…"

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

It was taking everything I had to stay in that chair. This kid was ridiculous and the obvious way he was flirting with Bella was causing me a slow burn in my seat. Of course every other country singer wanted Bella in their videos, who wouldn't? I just didn't like it that it was being thrown in my face that my time with her was up…that someone else was going to try and walk into her life the way I had…

"Billboard's also excited to be the ones to announce that you're going to be honored with the Songwriter's Visionary Award Tuesday night at the Isleta Amphitheater in Albuquerque along with Garth Brooks and Jamey Johnson…"

Now he had my full attention, I turned my head towards him at the same time Bella let out this excited gasp. There was no denying the honor, or the delight at hearing those words.

"So congratulations…to you both. Billboard would also like to ask Miss Swan if she would be willing to present the award for us along side with our president of the company who will be speaking at the event…"

Now I was really sitting on the edge of my seat. Bella looked shocked at first, but then she turned to me and smiled…this brilliant, proud smile, and I realized exactly how thrilled I truly was.

I stopped listening to anything else the kid had to say. I smiled and nodded at the appropriate times; still to excited to think of anything else really. Something like this was what I worked hard all my life for. The acknowledgement of the songwriter is so often overlooked, but really, without the songwriter, the artist had nothing…

Bella looked so pleased, her eyes were back to being bright and full of life. She kept turning to me and smiling, doing this little hop thing in her chair that brought out the hormonal fifteen-year-old boy in me.

Pleased with our responses and the reactions he had gotten out of us, the reporter thanked us both for giving him our time and told me he would call me before the magazine got released. He mentioned he would be attending my concert the next evening and the event on Tuesday, mostly for pictures…the interview part was done.

Bella smiled and shook his hand, still bouncing a bit on her tiptoes, giving him a smile of thanks. Her hair swung around her when she looked over at me and I couldn't help it, I gave her this great big assed grin and goofy chuckle.

She squealed and brought her body close to mine, she didn't hug me, but let her shoulder press into my chest, "Oh Congratulations!" she giggled, tilting her head slightly so that her cheek rested against the material of my shirt. It felt so good to have her near me…I could smell her shampoo, feel the softness of her arm. Peace and contentment washed over me…this right now was genuine.

"You must be so excited!" She giggled again, stepping back away from my chest and looking up into my eyes. Her cheeks were this rosy pink, and those long eyelashes hypnotized me.

"Thanks. I'm pretty excited. This is a big one." I grinned down at her, sincerely glad that she was sharing this with me.

" I can tell! I'm so proud of you." Her eyes were sparkling, and it took every ounce of willpower not to bring her closer to me again.

"I know the reporter already asked you to stay to present the award, but I want to make sure it's okay with you. Would you stay Miss Bella, for a few days? You can come to my concert tomorrow…" I couldn't even finish my sentence; she was already happily nodding her head. I couldn't stop grinning…or stop that little jerk my heart did every time she giggled and bounced around me…I was suddenly tired of fighting what I felt…I didn't want to pretend anymore…about anything.

We both grinned at each other again, and she pushed back some of her hair that was falling over her face, I just kept watching her…something else was happening here, I couldn't quite say what…she didn't know it yet…maybe I didn't have it all figured out…but it was there…and it was almost time to show it…

I didn't make any fancy arrangements, didn't bully Alice about hotel rooms or connecting doors or anything like that. I just let it all be. Gave Bella time to breathe…time for me to breathe too. We were all staying in a hotel this time. It was a nice one, nothing over the top. Alice took care of it, and because she did, there were three rooms between Bella's room and mine. I didn't mind, didn't make a fuss. I thanked Alice for taking care of us, walked Bella to her door, and returned to mine.

I didn't even realize I was whistling as I passed myself in the hallway mirror. My own image caught my eye, and I turned to face myself, tilting my head just slightly. _Who was that guy? Why was he here? And where was he going_? My mind pondered, it was only now that it was beginning to make a little bit of sense…I stared at myself some more…_Good looking though_, I chuckled, and headed to the restroom to take a quick shower.

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Nothing could change the elation I felt coursing through me when I found out Edward was going to receive a songwriting award, or the relief when the interview finally shifted away from me.

I stopped trying to hide the excitement and pride I was feeling for him. I wanted to throw my arms around him and tell him how much he deserved this. I didn't even think twice when the reporter asked me to stay. I guess I should have thought about it, maybe asked Edward if he wanted me there, but he beat me to it, turning to me and asking me to stay in that sweet southern accent that never failed to bring me to my knees.

I could see Alice smiling at us from around the corner. She kept everyone away, kept them too busy to come up to us, I still had her words tucked away inside me, and I don't know if that's why I was feeling this way or if it was the light I saw in Edward's eyes or his sweet grin, either way, for the first time in forever I was feeling happy…and I think Edward was too…

My room was so pretty…simple and beautiful. I spent the better part of the evening just walking around, my fingers sliding over the wooden fireplace and down the silky drapes. The silence that surrounded me didn't fill me with ache or loneliness. I was perfectly content to walk around and marvel in the beauty around me. Alice told me she would pick me up at six for dinner, and she herself looked bright and happy when I opened the door for her.

"Come on Bella, let's go eat. Edward and the guys are at rehearsal. We stop by later on to watch."

"Where are we going?" I asked her, grabbing my bag and jacket as we headed out the door.

"I have the urge for a great big loaded hamburger, and fries…how does that sound?"

"That sounds perfect." I smiled at her, suddenly ravenous…

The burger place was no bigger than small garage, there were just four tables, but it was clean and neat, and the owner was very friendly.

Alice and I sat down to enjoy our meal, giggling at each other every time we had to wipe our chins with our napkins.

"I'm glad you stayed…" she said between bites, "I didn't think you would."

"I don't mind, I think it's important for Edward's career…that's what I'm here for…"

"Really? Is that all? Just his career?" Alice tilted her head to the side, she wasn't joking, so for once I decided to be honest.

I gave her a small smile, "No, of course not. I'm not going to lie; I love being with him…listening to him sing…watching him do an interview. I'm excited that I'm going to see him win that award, from the way his face lit up, I'm guessing it is a pretty important one."

"He's wanted that one forever…" Alice finally smiled at me, a glint of pride in her eyes…I wasn't sure if it was for me, or Edward.

"Well it's about time he gets it…I'm sure he's _deserved it_ forever…"

She chuckled at me, "I like it when you get this way…"

"What way?" I shook my head at her.

"This way. This overprotective mama bear way…" She giggled, "you're the only one that does this…and he lets you…"

* * *

><p>None of the guys noticed us at rehearsal. We were too far away up in the skybox for them to see us. I just sat back in this red leather reclining chair and watched Edward sing. The audiovideo guy was using the big screen so I could see every expression Edward made as he went through the motions of his concert. He didn't play his guitar that much, he didn't really need to practice that I guess. It was still enthralling to watch, in fact, it seemed he was much more emotional out there in an empty stadium, than when it was filled.

Between songs the three guys goofed around on stage, laughing and joking with one another. It was almost like watching teenagers out there having fun, and even though I wasn't a participant, I was giggling and laughing with them. Alice just kept smiling at me, that same light in her eyes, I was just about to ask her what that was all about when she completely threw me off the subject when she asked me…

"Bella…were you ok through your divorce? Did Jake try and hurt you financially or anything?"

I nearly choked on my laughter, and I'm sure my grin faded somewhat, but her question didn't sadden me… "No…he didn't try and hurt me…he was pretty upfront about everything. I know I disappointed him…"

"Disappointed?" Her eyes glanced quickly down at the stage and then back to me, "What do you mean?"

"Well, he was hurt that I cheated on him, and he asked me to leave our house. It's sold now…the house…he doesn't live there anymore…"

"Have you talked to him? At all? Since then?"

"A couple of times. He's dating now…I've seen her…she seems nice. Maybe she's the one for him." I shrugged, mostly wondering why Alice had all this interest in Jake.

"Do you miss him?"

I hesitated in answering her, not because I didn't know what to say, it was the complete opposite, in fact, I knew the answer immediately, and when that dawned on me, it was like this tiny light bulb went off in my head. "No…I don't miss him. Not even when I'm all alone in my apartment…I never miss him."

She watched me for a few seconds…"Well sometimes we have to take a journey…go through ups and downs…before we realize things," she shrugged back at me, "I'm glad he didn't try and hurt you."

I felt so much lighter walking down all those rows of seats to make it to the stage once rehearsal was over. Alice chirped away about all the different concerts that had been played here, waving up to Jasper at the same time. I listened to her with a free heart, looking up on stage where Edward stood. He was smiling, his eyes resting on the both of us.

Just that smile made my heart swell. I still didn't think he would ever be mine, I mean_ I knew_ he would never be mine, but I was finally content in realizing that even if was just a short, fleeting moment, we shared in each other's story…we somehow managed to connect in the craziest of ways, and even though Alice claimed I changed his life for the better, I knew he had done the same to mine.

"Great rehearsal Cowboy." I smiled up at him, he looked adorable as ever, his hands tucked inside those jean pockets.

"Thank you Ma'am." He took a couple of steps and hopped down from the stage onto the dirt floor where I was standing. "The guys want to grab a couple of beers but I told them no drinking night before the show, I bribed them with cheese fries and triple scoop sundaes…you two ladies want to come along?"

"I never turn down ice scream." Alice laughed as Jasper took a flying leap from the stage to the ground. "What do you say Bella?"

"Sure." I grinned, feeling surrounded by friends, "I could go for a triple scoop…" that made Edward chuckle, and he tipped his ball cap to me before turning to holler at Emmett to hurry up.

I spent more time watching his eyes than eating my ice cream. He sat between Jasper and Em, elbowing them just to watch their ice cream fall of their spoons. He joked around with Alice challenging her to a cheese fry-eating contest, which she lost within seconds.

And when we were finally done, Em drove us out what seemed like the middle of the desert. The air was dark and crisp, just the tiniest of breeze floated across our faces.

"The moon is always awesome here." Em put the SUV in park and pushed open his door. Both Jasper and Alice followed suit.

"Come on Bella…" Alice waved me over, "Come look at this view…"

I slid across the seat and out the door; Edward was already standing next to Em. Both of them had their faces turned up to the sky, and for some reason it reminded me of the day when Edward and I looked up at the clouds, except now, it was the five of us.

"It's beautiful." I breathed. The moon literally looked on fire…bright, bold, and almost orange in color. It made the night sky shine…threw a heavenly glow all across the ground.

"You could make an entire song about something this beautiful…" Em said thoughtfully, not tearing his eyes away from the sky, "You should try it Eddie…"

Edward didn't say anything at first, the silence is what caused me to tear my eyes away from the sky and glance over at him. His was looking up, somewhat deep in thought, a few beats of silence as he stared at the moon. He made it look natural, the way his chin came down and his head turn. He looked right at me, blinking a couple of times before he answered Em.

"I don't think I've ever seen anything look more beautiful than it does tonight…" and then he smiled at me…slow and sweet. My breath caught in my throat, but my mind didn't get all scrambled up…it knew just how to respond, and I smiled back genuinely glad I had decided to stay.

That feeling stayed with me…all through the night and into the next day. Alice and I got ready for the concert together. She stayed behind with me instead of going ahead with the guys. We giggled like teenagers doing each other's makeup and I let her put my hair up with this light blue ribbon. She didn't deposit me back stage, she actually placed the both of us right down in the first row, in the middle of the crowded madness.

"I've never seen it from down here before. Are the girls always this pushy?" She tossed a sarcastic glance at a few of nearly drunk girls around us and rested her eyes on me.

"You learn to push back." I joked, but I really did mean it. I had already elbowed a few girls who were trying to wiggle their way up in front of me, but there was no way I was giving up my spot to them. I actually couldn't wait to see Edward up there again.

"Well aside from the girls, it's pretty cool down here. Better than backstage." Her eyes shot up to the stage, she knew the sound cues, we were just seconds away from the guys stepping out to perform.

"I always like it down here too…" but my words were cut off by the screaming. The boys had bounded out on the stage with more energy than I had ever seen before. Both Jasper and Edward were already at the center of the stage jamming out on their guitars under the spotlight. Emmett made his way to the drums, banging out the beats to the songs. It was still thrilling to see, and before I knew it I was waving my hands in the air with Alice and singing all my favorite songs.

Whenever the light hit Edward's eyes I could see this different sparkle in them, this bright spellbinding sheen that made his whole face light up. He was grinning and singing, waving to the crowd, encouraging them to sing along. It was such a different and magical experience, I couldn't really explain it. He wasn't doing anything directly towards me, he glanced my way a lot, smiled at me as he sang, but he spent a better part of the evening engaging with his fans and I could see them eat it right up, respond to him eager and happy.

And right at the end, it made me so proud that I literally gasped out loud when I saw it. Edward waved goodbye to his fans, thanking them for coming out and spending the evening with them, he did something else…something I never seen before. He placed his mic back on the stand and pulled his guitar back so it was resting on his backside and took a couple of steps forward. His hand stretched out and even though it was just his fingertips, he let his fingers brush over the throngs of outstretched hands waving in the air all excited to be touching him. The cheers just got louder, hoots and hollers and happy exclamations all floated above our heads.

His eyes caught mine one last time, right as he was done, as his fingers glided over the very last fan. I was so proud, ginning and laughing at the excitement that surrounded me, I just bounced on my tiptoes and clapped as hard as I could. He grinned, that sweet little boy grin of his…and then he winked and mouthed… _Thank You Beautiful_…and walked off stage.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

It didn't scare me this time. I thought it was because Bella and Alice were down there that it was making me feel somewhat safe…but the more I sang and smiled at my audience, the more I could see in their faces their happy responses. The more I encouraged them to sing, the louder they tried, and when I reached out to let them barely brush their fingers across mine, they nearly burst with excitement.

Why had I been so afraid of them for so long? They were people, just like me…had ups and downs, just like I did. They needed me to take them away from their problems even if just for a few hours, and when I was singing, I realized I needed the exact same thing from them.

I got a kick out of seeing the male members of the audience squeal just like the girls did when they were able to touch my hand. It tickled me to no end to see them shove a few girls out of the way so they could get closer, and hell did the girls fight back. Squeezing through the smallest of spaces, elbowing they way past the throngs of people all trying to see.

Nobody here was trying to hurt me, and it was a great feeling to experience. If nothing else, Bella taught me that, and I would be forever grateful to her.

"You did it." She smiled softly at me when I walked her to her door later that night. We were all still on a high from the concert. You could hear Jasper and Alice giggling from behind their hotel door, and Emmett had some loud music coming from his room.

I just nodded at her, a bit of a shy grin taking over my face. I never got tired of seeing her proud of me.

"I knew you would…eventually. I knew you would see it…" Her smile got bigger as she said that. It made me chuckle…

"It was actually a pretty cool experience." I kept grinning at her… "They didn't bite…"

That made her laugh…her delicate voice sounding like music to my ears. "You made a lot of people happy...They're never going to forget that experience…"

"I'll fit more time at the next concert…so that I can do it longer…make more time for them…"

"They're gonna love you more for it…" She promised, her eyes still so bright and beautiful. Seeing her eyes like that still touched me…still made me want her…I knew that wasn't ever going to change, but I didn't want it to change, to go away. It was going to be the way I would remember her…it would always remind me of the gorgeous loving woman she was…of the woman I should be with.

I just stretched out my hand to her…much like the way I just did with the concert audience, let my fingertips hover close to hers. She smiled at me again when she saw that, and slowly her hand reached out on its own and closed over mine. She squeezed my hand gently all while looking up into my eyes. "You played amazing…and you sang amazing too…don't ever stop that Edward. That's your gift…it was meant to be shared. I can't wait to hear the song you write about the moon…I know it will always remind me of this…"

She quietly made her way into her room, letting her fingers slip out of mine.

I could still feel her hand when I scribbled those words and phrases into my journal.

I could still feel the warmth and softness…

The strength and the courage…

The affection and love…

It all wrapped around me, encircled me until I understood even more…

The words I wrote down today…those were easy…they flowed right out of me as long as I didn't try and stop them. The other stuff, that was harder…because I fought with myself…I was my own worst enemy…

I tried to get more comfortable on my hotel bed…digging through my bag for the package of beef jerky I always kept with me. A small velvet box tumbled out to the ground when I pulled out my sweatshirt from the bag. It made a small thump as it hit the floor. I scooped it up and studied it…remembering why I had bought it, and what it was for.

It would never get used, I knew that. It would stay shining and beautiful like it was supposed to…but never get used.

I should have tossed it back inside my bag, but my heart didn't want to do that just yet. Instead I placed it by my bedside…open…so I could watch the moonlight bounce off of it…watch it sparkle and glisten, even in the dark. It was like my own personal nightlight…it would stay with me always…

* * *

><p><strong>More to come...promise!<strong>

**XOXO**

**MBella**


	25. Kiss You Tonight

**Happy Friday Ya'll! Hope you had a wonderful Summer! **

**Missed you guys like crazy! **

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, I own all the country goodness.**

**Song of the day: Kiss You Tonight by David Nail**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<br>**

He'd been making me laugh all morning.

As soon as I made my way downstairs to the small conference room in the hotel where Alice told me they were all having breakfast, I could see how happy he was…how carefree.

The sight of him eating and joking around with the guys lifted my heart, sent a smile spreading across my face. His eyes were all lit up, his body so relaxed against his chair; he chuckled at something Jasper said to him before grabbing another biscuit from the bowl in the center of the table.

They all greeted me good morning, Alice urging me to grab a plate of food. There was a long table to the right of us filled with every kind of breakfast food you could imagine.

I placed a croissant and a small cup of fruit on my plate. There was only one empty chair next to Edward. It didn't look or feel like that was done on purpose, I actually was happy to take the seat next to him, and the few butterflies that I couldn't ignore fluttered rapidly when he looked up at me with that lopsided, little boy grin.

"Good Morning Miss Bella. You sleep well?" He moved his napkin over so that I would have more room on the table next to him, all while smiling at me.

"Yes, thank you. How about you?" There was no stopping my smile or the affection in my voice, I didn't even try to, and his grin got even bigger as I sat down.

"Slept like a baby…" He grabbed a quick drink of water from his glass, "Thought I'd be too excited to sleep but those pillows were just calling my name…"

"Yeah, they were heavenly but I'm glad you slept, tonight's a big night for you. I'm excited too." I smiled at him and looked around the table at the others. They all had the same look on their faces, it was almost comical, these open-mouthed aww looks as they watched Edward and I talk. Alice even gave out a small giggle when my eyes met hers.

Edward seemed oblivious to their stares and turned his head towards me, "I can't thank you enough for staying…" his smile was still there but his words were just a little more serious, "It means the world to me, and maybe later, before you leave I can show you the moon song…"

My head tilted in question, "The moon song?"

He chuckled at my reaction, "Yeah, the other night…remember? We were looking at the moon. Well I did it, I wrote a song about it…"

"You did? Really?" My brain told me not to read too much into it, that the song was actually about the moon, but my heart told me otherwise…

"Sure did…" He kept right on smiling at me, "And it came out pretty nice if I say so myself…"

I couldn't help it, I'm sure I blushed. It was just the way he was looking at me, the way his eyes twinkled as they stared into mine. "I'd love to hear it…" I know my voice gave me away…showed what was playing in my heart but there was no stopping it, I knew I wasn't going to be with him much longer, so subconsciously I was living in the moment.

He just grinned wider at me and bumped my shoulder playfully with his, "Thank you Ma'am…"

It took all my strength not to melt at his words…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

For some reason I really happy here. I guess all this wide-open space left me with a sense of peace, and I was super excited about tonight. I'd been coveting that songwriter's award for years now…

It just added to my excitement that Bella was going to share it with me, and I looked forward to the evening seeing her stand up on stage holding that trophy. If we were going to end…at least I could share this one last night with her…this once in a lifetime event.

To kill time and before the sun got too bright we all made our way out behind the hotel, past the pool and weight room. We lent up at the children's playground. There was this little pond near the side; these wide, white stones surrounded it. The pond itself couldn't be more than two feet deep. Tiny specks of orange and gold flickered throughout it as goldfish swam in dizzy circles.

Jasper and Alice stopped by the swings, Alice was urging him to push her, and I knew he would…eventually. Em settled nearby under the shade of a large bushy tree that had these tiny purple looking flower buds dotted on it.

But I went all the way up to the pond…and Bella followed me. It was nice…I was listening to her voice. She was chatting about a random story involving her students and muddy water. Her words were light and airy, matching her mood, and the breeze made her hair move back and forth along her shoulders.

I didn't sit down, just stood at the edge of the smooth stones, my hands in my jean pockets, and looked down into the water. I could see the moving goldfish…the sunlight sparkling through the tiny waves as the water swished about…and finally, as Bella stood next to me, I could see our reflections…they bounced off the water, moving hazily along the ripples, brightly shining back at both of us.

I stared at down at them for a long minute, tried not to let that familiar wishful want to seep back into my being, but at the same time not fighting it very hard. I wondered if she felt the same way, she'd fallen silent and she stared down into the water too.

"It's pretty…" her voice lowered.

I could see her eyes looking at me through the reflection in the water.

"Yes it is…" And this time I couldn't deny the ache flowing through me.

"Every place you've ever taken me…it's always so pretty. I won't ever forget it…even when I leave tomorrow…I won't ever forget you…" Her eyes never left my reflection in the water…her words were strong…honest…

I just turned to her…to face her, knowing my voice was going to sound raw, "I won't forget you either…not tomorrow…not the next day…not ever…"

She smiled at me…soft and shaky, her eyes were shining though…and I wanted to say it to her…that I loved her…that I would always love her.

"Promise me you'll keep writing…and singing…but do it for _you_, not anyone else…just for _you_…" her eyes kept searching mine, holding me there…holding my heart…

"Yes Ma'am…I promise…" my voice had gone down almost to a whisper, and I knew if I didn't tell her now, I would never tell her…

She took a little breath, her smile not leaving her, "I'm glad I stayed," she nodded slightly, "for tonight…I wouldn't want to miss that…"

"I'm glad you stayed…" I repeated her words, "I'm glad I'm sharing this with you…you're the only one I want to share this with…" and that was the closest I was going to get…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

The Isleta Amphitheater was a lot bigger than I imagined it. There were just rows and rows of empty seats going further back than my eyes could focus. It made me slightly nervous. Alice said tonight was sold out…that meant every one of those seats would be filled.

I was by myself out here on the stage. Actually I snuck out of my dressing room to come out and peek. It was empty…the crew and technicians had finished hours earlier so the only thing that shared this space with me was a single microphone sitting on its stand in the center of the stage.

I stood there next to it…tried to imagine for a minute how Edward felt standing up here…looking out. It really was frightening; to be honest…but at the same time I could see why it was rewarding too…

My heels clicked softly as I moved away from the microphone and over to the edge of the stage looking past the rows of seats…

I was leaving tomorrow…

Leaving behind all of this…

Leaving Edward…

This was the last night I would ever spend with him…and Alice...and Jasper and Emmett…

It tore a sigh out of me and I kept trying to see if I could make out the last row…I couldn't…

I knew I would never get over Edward, never stop loving him…but at least I came to terms with that…and with letting him go. I hoped he understood what I was trying to say this morning back at the goldfish pond. He looked like he understood, but at the same time, his eyes…they held so much grief…

It was still too far away to see…the last row. Just a blur…everything blending into each other making it one big mass of darkness…

I gave up trying, and closed my eyes…I willed the tears away…this was going to be such a big night for him, I couldn't ruin it…not with tears…or wishful thinking…I would be strong…for him…and for me. I would somehow get through tonight…

And I would leave tomorrow…

"I love you…" I whispered, opening my eyes and glancing at the empty rows one last time before turning around and heading back to my dressing room.

Back inside I slipped into this pretty white lacey dress, it screamed of country style with a sweetheart neckline and flowing skirt, Alice given it to me earlier this afternoon telling me to wear it with my boots. I didn't question her, I figured since this was going to be a televised event that she wanted my look to be county, and not glamorous.

I opted to get ready on my own today. Waved away the make up girl and the hairstylist. Something in the back of my head just kept telling me to keep it simple, not to overdo it. So I just dabbed a bit of foundation and some shimmer powder along my cheekbones, used a brown instead of black to line my eyes. A touch of gloss along my lips finished my face. I actually liked the way I looked, nothing heavy…it was me…

I didn't expect to see anyone before the awards began. I knew they were all getting ready and wouldn't have time for me, so I was truly surprised when there was a short knock on my door and Alice peeked her head inside my room.

"Hey Alice!" I turned around with a smile, "What are you doing here? Don't we start in like ten minutes?" I turned away from my mirror and over to the door where Alice was standing.

I should've seen it on her face, but I didn't. Her words literally threw me, "Hey Bella, you look beautiful. I don't have time to explain, but I didn't want you to go out there without knowing, and be surprised…" she paused, I could see the light fade from her eyes, the way she shifted her feet nervously, and that's when I knew…felt the floor sink from underneath me, her voice was low, "Tanya's here…of course…"

Of course. What other way would it be? How else would this night turn out?

"Uh…ok…thanks Alice." I turned back towards the mirror, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. I didn't try to hide what I was feeling, I'm sure it was all over my face.

"I'm sorry Bella. I didn't think she would come…She wasn't even in the states yesterday. She must've landed sometime this afternoon. I honestly don't know why she does this…" Alice didn't move away from my door, I could hear the pain in her voice.

"She does this because of me." I suddenly swung around, trying not to let that familiar anger fuel me, "She's here to make sure I understand that Edward is hers…that she won…"

Alice just eyed me sadly; there was no disagreement from her.

"That's all it is for her…a game…" I waved my hand and spun around again, moving back to the vanity chair, trying to smooth my dress down. "Well I'm done playing…I won't be playing anymore. I know I've lost…I know he's gone…"

Alice sighed and moved slightly away from the door, it was almost time for both of us to get out on stage, "I just wish Tanya wasn't the only one fighting to win…" she said softly before walking away.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

Nobody told me.

I don't know how fucking long Tanya was waiting in my dressing room before I walked in.

She had her photographer there, so when I entered the room she jumped up and headed towards me before I could say or do anything.

"Edward darling! Surprise! I'm so happy I made it on time. I didn't want to tell you I was flying in until I was sure I would be here before your little show started…"

I didn't hear the rest of it; she already had her arms wrapped around my neck. I could smell her expensive perfume…feel the coldness of her arms…the nonsense she was spewing…

It just swam and swam around me…left me dumbfounded in place. Everything I seemed to have learned about myself these last two days got squashed down somewhere inside of me, and that old pushover Edward made his way to the front.

Tanya had her photographer take some pictures. She told me he was going to videotape the award ceremony later. She went on and on about how happy she was, how glad she found the time to get here…

But never once did she say she was proud of me.

Never once…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

It was loud.

Not concert loud.

Just normal loud.

Happy loud…

And I couldn't fight.

I know that's what Alice wished for…what she wanted…but I couldn't do it. This was not my fight…it never was.

So instead I moved around backstage waiting for my cue to go on. Alice had already been introduced and was now on the opposite side of the stage. I could see the trophy…it was set all alone on this small white table a little card that was folded in half sat next to it. The card held Edward's name on it, inside said Billboard Songwriter Visionary Award. My instructions were, as soon as they called my name I would carry it out to him.

I stared at it silently, it reminded me of why I was here…what my purpose was…the harsh reality of it all.

Edward was already on stage. He sat motionless on a stool on the far end of the stage away from me, his eyes were devoid of emotion, fixated straight ahead. Everyone was watching the large white screen; it was showing clips of Edward's career, his life story, his musical history, and then other country stars graced the screen, congratulating him, offering him their best wishes. The narrator talked about all of Edward's achievements…how he made it to the top. It showed his family, his friends…all pictures I'd seen before…everything I already knew…

It nearly choked me up inside as I watched, and I wondered if he felt anything. His face was so blank…so empty…

"Billboard is honored to be sharing the stage with one of the best songwriters in the country. Edward Cullen's songwriting introduces us to powerful imagery and themes that are deeply layered to everything that effects mankind today. He influences entire generations of bands and other songwriters alike. His writing has inspired some of his greatest success in music video today, and we are doubly honored to have the woman who's beauty and charm no doubt was able to capture that inspiration and project it onto the big screen…she's here to help present this award to Mr. Cullen tonight…Miss Isabella Swan, ladies and gentlemen…"

I could feel my knees shaking as I made my way across the stage, my hands tightly clutching the trophy. My stomach lurched when my eyes fell down to the seats in the first row. Tanya was already on her feet clapping…her eyes full of false elation. She wasn't looking at me; her eyes were resting on Edward.

But Edward was looking at me…

And I swear for that split second there was life in his eyes again. He rose from his stool with a smile that was genuine…and walked a few steps towards me.

I wasn't supposed to say anything…or do anything besides hand him that trophy, but I was lost in those green eyes…lost in his smile…lost in _him_…

I grinned at him…felt my arms go around him out of their own accord. I didn't even hand him his trophy first, just threw my arms around him…whispered loudly in his ear, "Congratulations Cowboy…" pressed my lips to his cheek and then nestled my face in the crook of his neck. All that…with his wife right there…with the cameras in our faces…with thousands of people all watching.

_This_ wasn't a video…

Those strong arms lifted my feet up off the stage and he half swung me around. I could feel his body shake with his chuckle as he hugged me back…he lowered his head with a smile while I kissed his face…he didn't even reach for the trophy…

"Thank you, Beautiful…" he said into my ear, only the entire amphitheater could hear him…his microphone had been turned on.

I knew she would ruin it later…take over the show…take over _him_. But right now…this second, he was mine, so I just placed my free palm over near his jaw giggling with him affectionately until I stepped back and handed him his trophy. He took it from my hand with a similar grin, and it was only then did we both notice the thunderous clapping and cheering going around us.

Edward turned his head to face the crowd; he chuckled again and raised the trophy over his head in triumph. The cheers only got more thunderous…exhilarating…

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

I'm sure the she saw it…_they_ saw it, in my body, in my eyes…the shift from being emotionless and still…to full of life.

I'm sure the audience wondered what it was about…and Tanya, I'm sure she was fuming…

You see, once Bella walked onstage, I forgot…

Who I was_ supposed to pretend_ to be.

Everything the audience saw up on stage at that moment was me…the real me.

And like every time before, I knew it was because of her…she brought out the real me.

And she was beautiful. Just like the first time I saw her. Pretty little white dress…cowgirl boots…fresh glowing face and glossy lips…wavy bouncy hair. It all just dug into my mind…reminded me of why I was living.

And she only confounded that feeling when she threw her arms around me as if she didn't care at all what anyone thought. She was everything beautiful in my life…everything I could ever want.

She smiled brighter at me, and I could feel it…I could see it…there was no hiding it…

She was proud.

She was so proud of _me_…

So the real me just scooped her up in my arms and swung her around. The smile everyone saw wasn't there for the cameras…it was for her…it would always be for her.

That's what the trophy represented. That's what I would always remember. Not because I was a songwriter…or even a singer. No, that trophy would always take me back…make me remember…the one woman who singlehandedly taught me what love was about…what true success was…

And no one could ever take that away from me.

It made the rest of the show so much easier for me. I was dreading it once I knew Tanya was here. But now my heart felt full, and I found myself singing to my audience with a lot more joy and feeling.

Bella was watching me from the same stool that I had been sitting on just minutes before. She was still smiling and swaying softly to my music that fell around us, and I moved all across the stage trying to show her somehow, exactly how thankful I was to her…how much she meant to me.

I didn't even notice that Tanya had left her seat. I didn't notice that until the show was over and everyone was on their feet clapping…Bella included.

It didn't faze me one way or the other really, I'm sure Tanya thought she'd been here long enough to count, and was now on her way back to the life she was comfortable in. I was actually glad she was gone; I could share these last few hours with Bella…before she had to go.

Backstage everyone from the crew wanted to shake my hand and congratulate me. I let them; smiling and thanking them…I was looking forward to the afterparty…the winner's lounge. Bella had never seen the winner's lounge before…I bet she would like it.

Alice was waiting at the door of my dressing room, her back was to me and my mood was still high, acting silly I quickly tapped my fingers to Alice's shoulders trying to scare her. "Boo!" I joked.

She spun around with a quick gasp but she was not smiling. "Oh! Edward, you scared me…" her mind was elsewhere, I could tell.

"Sorry," the smile from my face faded a bit, "What's wrong? You waiting for Jasper?"

"No," she shook her head, tilting her head up to look at me. That's when I saw it in her eyes…loss and distress.

"What's wrong Alice? Is Bella still here?" It's the first thing that came to my mind…that Bella had left…gone home.

Alice didn't answer right away, she took this tiny breath and shook her head, "Bella is still here…she's in her dressing room. I thought…um, I thought she'd hang out with us afterwards but I guess that's not going to happen…"

"What? Why not? Why wouldn't she hang out with us?" I could feel my throat tighten. I don't know why but now the only thing that kept running through my mind was that her husband was here…that he was here for her.

"Did he show up?" I took a step towards Alice my voice breaking, "Is her husband here?"

I could hear her suck in her breath, her eyes jerked to my door and then back to me, she opened her mouth to answer, the same time my dressing room door flew open.

"Darling! Come inside. Let's have a drink before we head to the winner's lounge. I was lucky enough to find out _Country People_ are here for your celebration, and _Entertainment Tonight_ wants to film you, you have to say a few words to the press…"

We both turned to Tanya at the same time. Alice quickly swung her head back to me, shaking her head no. I didn't have time to move…or think actually, because Tanya moved around me so fast, using her body to shield me from Alice, forcing me to move inside so that I wouldn't brush my body against hers. She shut the door behind her with a swift click, and turned back towards me.

"What the hell is going on Edward?" The sweetness to her voice disappeared as she faced me, "I thought you were done with your little fling?" Her words were spiteful and harsh, and her eyes narrowed at me.

"What?" My mind was still spinning…my body was still in shock at the knowledge that Bella's husband was here.

"Do you want me to look like a fool? I left the islands in the middle of a press gala to come to this little redneck party…nobody told me about it…Seth never called me…I found out through your damn Facebook page. You should at least tell me about these things. Unless you want the world to get suspicious about you and that little whore of yours…"

I could hear her words. They were loud and obnoxious, they made my blood boil…sent searing bright red through my brain, but I didn't have the chance to move, much less answer her…two members of my crew pulled open my door both chatting happily to each other at the same time, their excited eyes rested on me. I was needed in the winner's lounge; there was more press than they figured so it was crowded in there. Only Tanya and I were going…

Tanya's smile returned instantly and she placed her hand on my arm. I jerked away from her still reeling from her words, my mind scrambled beyond comprehension. Everything was going so fast; I couldn't put it together…make sense of anything.

Tanya quickly turned to the crew in alarm but they weren't paying attention to us. This satisfied her and she tried once again to get my attention…

"Come on Darling, everyone is waiting for us…" her sickly sweet voice filled my ears, she didn't try to touch me again, but she waited, her eyes fixed on me, warning me that I had to go through this…

My feet moved automatically. I couldn't breath…couldn't focus… I didn't take my eyes of the backs of my crew members, just followed them, not slowing down for Tanya…not waiting politely…nothing. I just couldn't play the game anymore…

Because all I could think about was Bella. She was leaving…right now, she was leaving…and I wouldn't get to say goodbye…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

It didn't surprise me.

Oh it hurt of course, but didn't surprise me.

I heard it from the audio guy.

Not from Alice…or Edward…but from the fucking audio guy that my job here was done and I could go, that there wasn't room in the winner's lounge for anyone but Edward and his wife. A taxi was waiting outside if I wanted to leave…whenever I was ready.

I just stood in the center of my dressing room for a long minute. Just staring at the floor. Nothing had changed, it was all still the same. And I could never live like this…keep living like this.

It was time for me to leave.

I took a few steps over to the chair where my bag lay; glancing around to make sure I hadn't left anything behind.

The door made a soft scraping noise as it opened, causing me to jump.

"Oh, sorry Bella. I didn't mean to scare you. What are you doing?" Alice was holding her phone in her hand watching me. She looked so exhausted and sad, her eyes lacking their usual pep.

"I'm just getting ready to go…" I kept reaching for my bag, turning away from her.

"Where are you going? Back to the hotel?"

"No," I shook my head, "I'm going home…" I didn't realize how badly it would hurt to say those words out loud, every fiber of my being ached as I stood there…especially my heart.

"Home? Now? I thought you were staying until tomorrow? Is it because Tanya's here? I'm sure she'll be leaving soon, probably right after the interview…"

"She probably will…" I finally turned to look at Alice, I wasn't going to be anything but honest here, I had nothing to lose anymore, "She'll take off, go on with her fabulous life. This will satisfy her for a little while, but she'll be back…she'll always come back. You know that…"

Alice stared at me, her eyes boring into mine, she didn't say anything but nodded her head once.

"I don't have any reason to be here anymore." I sighed softly, "No reason to stay. It's best I go home now…I need to go home now…"

Alice took a few tiny steps towards me, blinking back a few stray tears that she ignored. "He really does care about you, you know…"

"I know…" I gave her a halfhearted smile, "I really care about him too…"

"You sure you want to leave? Right now? Don't you want to say goodbye?"

"I've already told him goodbye. He already knows. You take care him for me, Alice. Promise me you'll take care of him?" My voice begged her…breaking and cracking at as I spoke.

"I…I promise…" she was shaking her head at me, her hand halfway up. I knew she didn't want to believe I was leaving…I didn't either…but there was nothing left here for me.

She stepped forward, wrapping me up in a big bear hug. Her arms tightened around me as she held on.

"I'm gonna miss you…" she whispered fiercely, "I wish you didn't have to leave…"

"I'm gonna miss you too." I hugged her back, "thank you being for being such a good friend…"

"You make it easy Bella…" She pulled back and looked at me, "You are the nicest person I know…"

Her phone startled the both of us, its incessant ring echoed throughout the room. She gave out a little huff as she glanced at it, "It's Seth…" her voice held annoyance at the interruption.

I just nodded and stepped back knowing it was business…let her deal with Seth. She was muttering a few words, but mostly listening. There was a quick pause, she frowned into phone immediately…and then frowned again. I tried not listen…tried not figure out what was going on…I'm sure it was about Edward…probably Tanya.

I took another step away and glanced down at my bag, wondering if I should grab it, my hand closing over the small handle. Maybe I should just leave now…let Alice take care of whatever business she had to…let them all get back with their lives…

"What?" The pitch in Alice's voice rose. The alarm in her tone is what caused me to spin around to face her, she was already looking at me, her phone resting against her ear, her mouth open, her eyes round and wide as they pierced mine.

It frightened me…made my breath catch in my throat. "What is it?" I tried to say…but nothing would come out.

* * *

><p><strong>EPOV<strong>

The questions were all the same.

Everything was the same…

The reporters were all eager…the lights all shone brightly…Tanya smiled sweetly and clung to my arm.

Only I wasn't the same.

It all spun around me like a giant blur…the thoughts in my head turned round and round.

I couldn't stop any of it…

Not the reporters…not the lights…not even Tanya.

I couldn't stop the suffocating…the anger…the strangling fear that this would never end.

It had to end.

It had to end today…

"You've been on a stroke of good luck…a string of number one hits and videos alike…how have you handled all that success?"

_A stroke of good luck? Was that all it was?_

I heard him…the reporters voice…understood him clearly…I just couldn't answer him…stared blankly at him, half nodding my head. I could feel Tanya tighten her arm slightly around mine. I was probably embarrassing her and I didn't give a fuck.

The reporter waited for a moment and then shifted his gaze to Tanya with an unsure smile, "And how have you been enjoying your husband's success? And your newborn? We can only imagine the whirlwind your life has been."

"It's been amazing…truly amazing…" Tanya's voice was loud and she smiled her megawatt smile at him.

He chuckled at her words.

And that's what set me off…

That chuckle…

I couldn't see the lights anymore…or the cameras for that matter. I couldn't see much of anything…I just yanked my arm out of Tanya's grip, ignoring her surprised gasp…trying to see below me…find the source of that chuckle.

There was an audible gasp rippling through the reporters at my actions. I couldn't find the guy who was laughing but I could see all the cameras pointed at me.

"Tanya's truly been leading an amazing life…" I could feel everything bubbling to the surface…the anger…anxiety…regret…

"She has been an acquaintance and supporter of my career as it was beginning and that I am thankful for, she is a wonderful mother to my son Collin, and a wonderful mother to _her_ son Brady, whom she is raising with Brady's father, Paul Lahote, her producer. I appreciate her taking the time to come out here today, so that we can let you all know that we will be divorcing…it's time we both move on with our lives…"

I paused…not sure if I was making sense…the stone silence in the room was making me nervous and the look on Tanya's face…I can't describe it.

And just as quickly…the silence turned to chaos. It seemed like every single person in that room burst into chatter, I could see them…their eyes deviously bright…their bodies eagerly moving towards me.

I just turned on my heel and walked off the stage. There was nothing left for me to say…but there was one more thing for me to do…

I could hear Tanya's horrified gasp behind me as the reporters began directing their questions to her…

A few of the camera men had scrambled upstage and were now following behind me, their whispering, excited voices jumbled up in the back of my head.

I met the eyes of several of my crew who watched me open-mouthed as I walked by, but they didn't try to stop me.

I just kept going, my boots pressing firmly on the hard floor as I made my way down the hallways, my mind was racing…what would I say to them…and what would I do…if they were gone…

I didn't get to finish my thought…

I didn't hesitate or look back to see if the cameramen were still there. I just grabbed the doorknob and pushed roughly, flinging the door open so hard it slammed against the wall as it swung.

I saw Alice first. Her eyes met mine wider than I had ever seen them before; she held her phone to her ear, which she quickly dropped when she saw me. Her mouth opened, but she didn't say anything.

I didn't address her.

Didn't ask her anything…my eyes scanned the room rapidly…searching…

All I could feel was the flood of relief that was making me catch my breath…the intense longing that flowed through my veins. Bella was standing right there…just a little to the right of Alice, her face filled with bewilderment as she watched me. I stopped looking around…didn't bother to check the room…think about anything except this beautiful woman standing before me…

I moved towards her.

I could hear the cameramen pushing their way through the door, the scramble of excitement in their voices...

I just kept taking those footsteps…closing the distance between us…finally giving into all the yearning that I had been keeping inside for so long…

Her arms hung limply at her sides as she looked up into my face. Her eyes were wide with fear and question…her hair falling loosely around her shoulders. She didn't say anything even though I knew she must have a million questions…

I didn't have time to explain…not with words…

My hands reached out around her…sliding down her hair and face, pulling her to me… lowering my head to hers…hearing her soft gasp…seeing the pink spread along her cheeks…feeling the softness of her lips…

I couldn't wait to feel the softness of her lips.

Her mouth opened to mine and at that moment I knew…and I would let the whole world know too.

It exploded around us.

The flash of the cameras…the noise and gasps, the clattering of more footsteps and excited squeals…

My hands moved around her waist…lifting her up, not breaking our kiss…my heart pounded and my blood roared…

And finally…as I felt her arms go around me…the soft slide of her fingertips along my jaw and behind my head…the way her lips moved over mine…my world stopped…

I just kept right on kissing her…not wanting to end this moment, reveling in her warmth and sweetness…pressing my forehead to hers when our lips finally fell away from each other…breathing in her scent and surrounding myself in her presence.

She was looking at me, when I opened my eyes. Her face searched mine in silent question…waiting…a hint of confusion still tinted her eyes, and I could only think of one way to answer everything at once.

"I love you…" I could hear my own voice…it was low and raw…but firm and true. My hands moved up to her face, moving across her temple and down her cheek. I didn't pull my forehead away from her…but I made sure she could see my eyes.

Her breath escaped her at my words; I could feel the soft whisper of her overwhelmed cry brush across my lips, her hands tightening behind my neck. She took in a shuddering half gasp; her voice torn between a sob and laughter as her of her hands gently touched my jaw. Her eyes lit up…

"I love you too…"

And that was all I needed to hear.

I just swung her around in exhilaration; the both of us laughing…her arms were around me again, a million flashes still clicking away at exorbitant speed. I could see Alice out of the corner of my eye…she was crying…and laughing at the same time. Jasper and Emmett were crowding the doorway, half pretending to be guarding the masses of people standing behind them, wearing big ass grins on their faces.

None of the cameramen inside the room approached us, oh they all kept taking pictures of course, but I swore all of them were smiling…

* * *

><p><strong>BPOV<strong>

Alice told me afterwards…

About Seth's frantic call.

How Edward pretty much told the entire room about Tanya's business and walked offstage leaving her behind with the mess…

I mistook the concerned look I saw in Alice's eyes for fear. That something terrible had happened to Edward out there.

I had no time act on it though. The second Alice's eyes met mine I could hear this awful commotion echoing down the hallway. I think we both turned our heads towards it, my hand letting go of my bag as I turned.

The door swung open so hard the slamming noise drowned out everything around me. I know I jumped, I could feel my body shake at the sound.

At first his hat caught my eye…that beautiful grey felt almost shimmering under the lights…but then I saw the look on his face. The intense stare in his eyes, the way his jaw was clenched. I don't think I had ever seen him look with this much purpose in his eyes.

He marched towards me…and the distance between us was shortened within a matter of seconds.

It made my heart start pounding. I didn't have time to think…or even move…

There were so many people behind him…the doorway was completely filled with cameras and the men holding them with their hurried excited whispers.

It added to my confusion…to the spinning in my brain. Nothing made any sense…

It didn't make sense until I felt his hands. That familiar way his hands moved down my hair…his fingertips sliding along my cheek ever so gently. The warmth of his arms around me…the way he pulled me close.

His kiss sent a shuddering slam into my already fragile heart. I missed this man with a passion and I threw my own arms around him, giving in one last time to the callings of my soul.

I didn't have time to analyze it…to wonder about it. He didn't let me go, kept me close to him. When I looked up into his eyes there weren't any goodbyes in them…

His hand moved above my eyebrow and slowly down my face, it had been so long since he'd done that…

I never stopped looking into his face and those deep green eyes kept their hold on me…

"I love you…"

His voice was so gruff and emotional, a sob caught in my throat. Even in my wildest fantasies and all those nights I lied awake imagining him saying those words to me were no match for the way my heart soared and melted into him…

I could only pull him to me…trying not cry…trying not to laugh…finally letting my hand rest against his jaw and looking up into those eyes…into my future…

"I love you too…"

And I meant it…every word…

* * *

><p>"You owe me five bucks…You lost the bet…"<p>

Alice just rolled her eyes at both guys, settling into her seat with a magazine and a satisfied sigh.

"No I didn't…it's not over yet…"

"They're together aren't they?"

Their voices were interrupted by the sounds of horns as over a dozen or so vehicles followed the RV along its route towards the highway.

Both Jasper and Emmett ignored the beeps and honks as they continued to argue over who was right.

"You both won…" Alice lowered her magazine looking at both men with an exasperated smile. "Edward and Bella are together…right now…on his bus. They're lucky the press thinks they're right here with us in the RV. No one is following the bus…I don't even know where the bus is heading…he wouldn't tell me, or Seth…"

"I said they had to be _together, together_…not just in the same bus…" Jasper waved his hand in the air knowingly.

"What the hell do you think they're doing right now dickhead? Playing checkers?" Emmett tossed his last handful of chips at Jasper, causing Alice to squeal and scold both men.

But their laughter could be heard well into the night…

* * *

><p><strong>We have about two chapters left ladies and gentlemen. There's just a few more things I think you all want to see... ;)<strong>

**XOXO**

**MBella**


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